Author Topic: Host Age (Read 44649 times)

Sands · « **on:** September 20, 2013, 04:26:07 PM »

Let's get this party started.

So, hosts and age. Tulpas are being made by some very young people these days and I feel like this is an interesting enough topic to talk about, so why not? Tell us, what do you think about young hosts or old hosts or do you maybe think there's some minimum age of tupperforcing?

My opinions, let me tell about them. We do put our ages into numbers, but in the end, it doesn't mean too much. You can run into someone who is 30 and is an annoying, immature little brat, and then you can run into someone who is 12 and is a super smart kid you want to hang around, because they just have this aura of maturity their peers don't have. When it comes to tuppers, I don't think age means anything.

On one hand, young people are most likely going to be immature. They don't quite understand how much time and effort this takes, or what exactly their responsibilities will be. A tulpa will be with you you entire life, as far as we know. A young person might make a tulpa for a stupid reason and grow bored of them, which is a terrible fate for anyone. They might not understand that they and the world will change and as such, what they thought was a good idea might not be a good idea in the future. One should always think about the future of them and their tulpa, which many young people living in the now don't even consider. Their teenage years especially will be very difficult and full of change, which is when a lot of problems might arise for young hosts.

And at the same time, a young adult might do the same or have their own stupid reasons to have tulpas. As a person grows older and starts getting more and more independent, their life changes. The school gets harder and now they have to worry about money and getting a job, having less and less time to spend with their tulpa. Stress creeps in and maybe they decide they wish to concentrate on themselves instead of some imaginary being in their head.

But a young child with a tulpa might also be a wonderful sight. The tulpa would be a special friend, the person closest to the kid. The one you can tell secrets to without having to fear they will tell those to others. They can help a child in a way the child understands, because the tulpa itself would be very young as well and able to put themselves in the kid's shoes. As they grow, a tulpa could easily help them over many shitty situations assuming the host is a smart and responsible kid and their relationship healthy. Same goes for the older ones, a tulpa could easily help with all the stress if you can look at the situation in the right way. A host and tupper relationship is something special when done right. You just learn something about yourself as you make a tulpa and you get everything you pour in and more back.

It's not for everyone, though. TL;DR: Immature hosts won't get far, while mature ones definitely will. That's what my short answer to this is. It's not about the age, it's about one's maturity and ability to deal with problems and responsibilities. It's almost like getting a pet. Some kids do it wonderfully, others leave their pets to starve. Adults are the same.

soldier_of_faith · « **Reply #1 on:** September 20, 2013, 05:21:39 PM »

Seeing what I have from the various (horrible) tulpa skype groups that have sprung up over the past few months and the various IRC's, maturity is a large part of it, but it does correlate to age. In more than one occasion, a great topic is brought up and discussed by the older members, only to have it derailed by the younger members. Most trouble and drama was also caused by younger members as well, yet again on multiple occasions as well.

With that being said, I just prefer older hosts due to the better possibility of them having a fitting maturity level.

Sands · « **Reply #2 on:** September 20, 2013, 05:25:13 PM »

Quote from: soldier_of_faith on September 20, 2013, 05:21:39 PM

Seeing what I have from the various (horrible) tulpa skype groups that have sprung up over the past few months and the various IRC's, maturity is a large part of it, but it does correlate to age. In more than one occasion, a great topic is brought up and discussed by the older members, only to have it derailed by the younger members. Most trouble and drama was also caused by younger members as well, yet again on multiple occasions as well.

With that being said, I just prefer older hosts due to the better possibility of them having a fitting maturity level.

That definitely is a problem and well, of course, usually younger ones are more immature than the mature ones. Me, I wouldn't turn away mature young people though, but I wouldn't like the immature older folks. That's why I say there shouldn't really be any age limits to making tulpas, it should be about one's maturity level.

soldier_of_faith · « **Reply #3 on:** September 20, 2013, 05:39:09 PM »

Quote from: Sands on September 20, 2013, 05:25:13 PM

Quote from: soldier_of_faith on September 20, 2013, 05:21:39 PM
Seeing what I have from the various (horrible) tulpa skype groups that have sprung up over the past few months and the various IRC's, maturity is a large part of it, but it does correlate to age. In more than one occasion, a great topic is brought up and discussed by the older members, only to have it derailed by the younger members. Most trouble and drama was also caused by younger members as well, yet again on multiple occasions as well.

With that being said, I just prefer older hosts due to the better possibility of them having a fitting maturity level.

That definitely is a problem and well, of course, usually younger ones are more immature than the mature ones. Me, I wouldn't turn away mature young people though, but I wouldn't like the immature older folks. That's why I say there shouldn't really be any age limits to making tulpas, it should be about one's maturity level.

You can't really limit who can't and can make a tulpa anyway, but part of me wishes there was a Maturity level requirement. There have been some real horror stories of stabbing tulpas, blatant fetish insertion, and general idiotic autism, because some people didn't take the whole tulpa process serious. It's one thing to have fun and have your own "spin" on interacting with your tulpa, but another to think the whole thing is a game or a joke.

TulpaCouple · « **Reply #4 on:** September 21, 2013, 12:51:36 AM »

It's definitely an interesting concept.

There are a few reasons why I might suggest some younger folk to wait a while before making a tulpa. One of the reasons is really just to do with how much life changes for someone younger like that--The expectations between junior high, high school, and then moving on to college--all of that can be a chaotic time where priorities are changed and honestly lots of kids are still figuring out who they are. I can see how for some kids, a tulpa could help them through this time--hell, from studying a bit into DID/Multiplicity, those younger times when things are crazy are when a lot of them started to develop what we might here label as an accidental tulpa. Simply because they needed that second opinion, or that person to be there for them when everything else was changing.

I know I have seen some posts made by younger users that have made me nearly rip out my hair in frustration, but as others have said here, same can be said for the older immature users. We've all seen plenty of twenty somethings or thirty somethings who are just as controlled by immature urges and thoughts as you would expect a much younger kid to be--well, since they just never grew out of it.

It can be tough to decide an age restriction on a site, however. Especially with a community like this where people may be in dire need of help or advice to get them through a tough time. But there is definitely an amount of maturity that is gained from age and experience that many younger kids will lack, even if they are extremely mature-for their age.

Then again many immature kids will grow up and those tulpas who may or not be fully independent at this point in time may also develop their own independence in time as they grow together. But then there will be others who are uninterested in personal growth--I guess that's their own choice, though.

Sorryman · « **Reply #5 on:** September 22, 2013, 04:35:11 PM »

Honestly, I think the younger hosts would probably be better than 'older' ones.. At least the younger ones probably don't consider having a futa pegasus pony with huge crotch tits and a gigantic vagina. Yeah. Then again immaturity leaves much to be desired in the way of speech. I don't want to talk to a little 12 year old with a tulpa who spams 'fart' all the time.

Oh, wait.

Sands · « **Reply #6 on:** September 22, 2013, 04:51:43 PM »

Quote from: Nari on September 22, 2013, 04:44:46 PM

Quote from: Sands on September 20, 2013, 04:26:07 PM

Immature hosts won't get far, while mature ones definitely will. That's what my short answer to this is. It's not about the age, it's about one's maturity and ability to deal with problems and responsibilities. It's almost like getting a pet. Some kids do it wonderfully, others leave their pets to starve. Adults are the same.

You mean, anyone with a good tulpa-host relationship and never gives up can be considered mature? If I am understanding that right, then a lot of the people that act immature are in a way mature. Even if they act obnoxious and dumb, and don't take things seriously. They are mature, despite how they behave on the internet.

>it's about one's maturity and ability to deal with problems and responsibilities

If that's what you meant as well, then sure. If I'm reading you right, you didn't. I'm never too sure if you get me or if I'm getting you so would be nice if you could explain a bit better.

Sorryman · « **Reply #7 on:** September 22, 2013, 05:07:46 PM »

Quote from: Sands on September 22, 2013, 04:51:43 PM

Quote from: Nari on September 22, 2013, 04:44:46 PM
Quote from: Sands on September 20, 2013, 04:26:07 PM

Immature hosts won't get far, while mature ones definitely will. That's what my short answer to this is. It's not about the age, it's about one's maturity and ability to deal with problems and responsibilities. It's almost like getting a pet. Some kids do it wonderfully, others leave their pets to starve. Adults are the same.

You mean, anyone with a good tulpa-host relationship and never gives up can be considered mature? If I am understanding that right, then a lot of the people that act immature are in a way mature. Even if they act obnoxious and dumb, and don't take things seriously. They are mature, despite how they behave on the internet.

>it's about one's maturity and ability to deal with problems and responsibilities

If that's what you meant as well, then sure. If I'm reading you right, you didn't. I'm never too sure if you get me or if I'm getting you so would be nice if you could explain a bit better.

I think he needs some re-education.

Shy · « **Reply #8 on:** September 22, 2013, 08:39:59 PM »

If I could add to this, the age and maturity of the host really doesn't matter. I've met plenty of younger hosts with tulpas far more mature than they are. Young tulpamakers and tulpas will get to spend a lot more time together, too, and live together longer. It's nice.

So maybe you should try to take that and this into account. The host and tulpa can be completely different. Even if the host and tulpa aren't necessarily more mature than one another doesn't mean they can present themselves as such.

Sands · « **Reply #9 on:** September 23, 2013, 09:58:51 AM »

Finally got back to answering.

Quote from: Nari on September 22, 2013, 07:49:12 PM

Quote
>it's about one's maturity and ability to deal with problems and responsibilities

If that's what you meant as well, then sure. If I'm reading you right, you didn't. I'm never too sure if you get me or if I'm getting you so would be nice if you could explain a bit better.
Yes. I feel like I get you, but then you say I don't get it, because I say something that sounds off. I'll explain better. Better explanation: People with a high ability to deal with problems and responsibilities but act immaturely. Can they get as far as some one with high ability to deal with problems and responsibilities and maturity? Why is maturity important in the process of getting far? The way you talk about maturity makes it seem like you mean it's separate from ability to deal with problems and responsibilities, and I think that was the confusing part. I hope you don't mind the bold words too much but I get the feeling what I'm saying will make more sense if I didn't try to shorten it.

Wasn't really saying you didn't get what I wrote, just was unsure because I didn't quite get yours.

Anyways, time for words and better explanations on my side. Maturity is a difficult word because some have a completely different definition of it. In my version of maturity, the ability to deal with problems and responsibilities is a part of it. Some might say it's not, so I felt a need to add it in because I think it is very important.

A mature person can act immaturely, but then they - forgive the emphasis but I feel it's needed here - aren't immature. Acting and being are two different things. As long as there's something behind that mask of immaturity that is mature enough to handle situations, it is great stuff. Maturity is not necessary to get far when making tuppers, but it is necessary to have it if you wish to live a happy life with a tupper. Perhaps you can gain it, perhaps not. If you can't, that would hinder you.

Quote from: Shy on September 22, 2013, 08:39:59 PM

If I could add to this, the age and maturity of the host really doesn't matter. I've met plenty of younger hosts with tulpas far more mature than they are. Young tulpamakers and tulpas will get to spend a lot more time together, too, and live together longer. It's nice.

So maybe you should try to take that and this into account. The host and tulpa can be completely different. Even if the host and tulpa aren't necessarily more mature than one another doesn't mean they can present themselves as such.

When it came to maturity, it wasn't the tulpa's own maturity or personality that was talked about in my post at least. Often a tupper can become much more mature than their host if the host is immature. Sometimes not and if you couple two immature people together, well, bad shit happens. It is awful to watch, at least.

I did have those good examples of young tuppers and hosts. The relationships can be very beautiful and helpful to both when it comes to growing as people. Again, not against young hosts here. It's the immaturity part which in my mind would lack the ability to deal with problems and responsibilities. A host without such skill wouldn't be a very good one.

If a person thinks they are immature and should and can change, they are already more mature than many people. Those are the ones who would really gain maturity from making a tulpa, I bet. It's the ones refusing to change or even see something is wrong with them that are a problem. And I would not want to see a mature and intelligent tupper have to deal with an immature little shit host, who can't even deal with simple things in life. Could the tulpa teach them? Who knows. But I wouldn't want my purpose to be to teach them that, so first the host should change to accept their own shortcomings. That's when they already are maturing and the road to making tulpas is open.

Zero · « **Reply #10 on:** September 28, 2013, 12:19:27 PM »

Quote from: Shy on September 22, 2013, 08:39:59 PM

If I could add to this, the age and maturity of the host really doesn't matter. I've met plenty of younger hosts with tulpas far more mature than they are. Young tulpamakers and tulpas will get to spend a lot more time together, too, and live together longer. It's nice.

So maybe you should try to take that and this into account. The host and tulpa can be completely different. Even if the host and tulpa aren't necessarily more mature than one another doesn't mean they can present themselves as such.

Thiiis, if the tulpa is mature then they can help the host be more mature as well, and the host can also be mature with an immature tulpa, but I do get Sands' point, it's not smart to make a tulpa if you can't handle the responsibility, though even some mature people can be irresponsible ^^ So I'd have to say that the host would have to be responsible, which can already be an apparent trait even in kids at a young age. Eeeh, as long as the tulpa is happy, nothing is an issue, really.

Lost · « **Reply #11 on:** September 28, 2013, 04:37:51 PM »

Something else to consider is that perhaps younger people are more likely to actually believe in it. With or without a possible scientific / psychological explanation, one could be worried about seeming rather... Crazy.

However, I would state that possibly, maturity shouldn't be a requirement. While it certainly does help, it doesn't necessarily coincide with responsibility. Immaturity aside, most children don't necessarily have the foresight that is granted by age and experience. It's partially why "immature" and "childish" are synonymous. Some kids tend to the dogs because they're told too, not because they understand what would happen if they didn't. Whether or not they care of the results of their actions are something else entirely, I suppose.

Second, perceived maturity and actual maturity may be completely different as well. I'd say, that if you haven't seen it, FLCL covers this rather well.

NariusV · « **Reply #12 on:** November 14, 2013, 05:37:08 AM »

I think the whole concept has to do more with who contributes to a collaborative overall benefit and who impede's it. Of course there is a wide range of what benefits people where they are at in the overall development spectrum. So not everything will be beneficial to all, but some things are just disruptive and wasteful of time. It's easy to just ignore things that don't apply to my situation anymore, not so easy to ignore something I can't see the value of yet. Since we tend to grow through time, older will tend towards mature. That's my understanding of maturity, age, etc.

Zer0.iNSaNiTY · « **Reply #13 on:** November 24, 2013, 09:41:11 PM »

Sands · « **Reply #14 on:** November 25, 2013, 04:51:11 AM »

Having patience is mature.

Author Topic: Host Age (Read 44649 times)

Sands

Host Age

soldier_of_faith

Re: Host Age

Sands

Re: Host Age

soldier_of_faith

Re: Host Age

TulpaCouple

Re: Host Age

Sorryman

Re: Host Age

Sands

Re: Host Age

Sorryman

Re: Host Age

Shy

Re: Host Age

Sands

Re: Host Age

Zero

Re: Host Age

Lost

Re: Host Age

NariusV

Re: Host Age

Zer0.iNSaNiTY

Re: Host Age

Sands

Re: Host Age