Author Topic: Avalanche's progress report  (Read 34615 times)

Avalanche

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Re: Avalanche's progress report
« Reply #135 on: September 13, 2014, 10:31:37 AM »
Like man, a tupper could be annoyed if you got a very thick skull and never seemed to notice or never believed after they have done everything they can, but be nice and I hope that means hosts can be forgiven. I think doubting and wondering is normal, so it should be understandable even if it feels unfair from a tupper point of view.

Are you saying you believe that tuppers can be fully formed (enough to communicate and be pissed off) yet submerged or hidden or muted?
Sounds pretty fantastical that you can possibly make a tupper, and then they're just sitting in some kind of state where you're too closed off the hear them.
HEY YOU, WHAT YOU GONNA DO, HEY YOU, WHAT YOU GONNA DO HEY YOU, WHAT YOU GONNA DO HEY YOU, WHAT YOU GONNA DO PARTY PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE LETS GO IT'S YA BOY JAYSKI AIGHT SO PASS THAT THING AND WATCH ME FLEX BEHIND MY BACK YOU KNOW WHAT'S NEXT TO THE JAM, ALL IN YOUR FACE WASSUP, JUST FEEL THE BASS

Re: Avalanche's progress report
« Reply #136 on: September 13, 2014, 03:30:00 PM »
It's your mind which is a fucked up thing ruled by irrationality and beliefs. A man can take fake medicine and be healed because they thought it would work. But nocebo is also a real thing. In the case of tuppers, maybe there is some kind of connection you need to establish for you to actually hear the tupper or maybe its all just because you think you can't hear them, so you won't. Or maybe the tulpa thinks you won't hear them, so you don't. I know tuppers can be pretty much "done" yet still be mute - and in my case, I know a lot of that was because of myself. How I never gave him enough time to answer or how I never even thought he would do it. It's like I never gave him the chance or thought it wouldn't happen yet and it wasn't until later when we even tried properly. And hell, back then? I didn't even believe it at first. I didn't think it was that alien like they all told me it would be, I thought it could easily just be me. But I gave him a chance even though I didn't trust it and this is where I am now. I'd say that was my own important Absence of Disbelief moment when I thought I knew what was up, but still decided to not judge yet and give it some time, just in case. If I had judged it back then when I first heard the tupper speak and blocked it all off as parroting, I would have been wrong. Doubt I'd have a vocal tupper or a tupper at all these days. Take what you want out of it.

Avalanche

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Re: Avalanche's progress report
« Reply #137 on: September 14, 2014, 07:18:16 AM »
What is your position right now anyway? Describe how it feels with Roswell.
HEY YOU, WHAT YOU GONNA DO, HEY YOU, WHAT YOU GONNA DO HEY YOU, WHAT YOU GONNA DO HEY YOU, WHAT YOU GONNA DO PARTY PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE LETS GO IT'S YA BOY JAYSKI AIGHT SO PASS THAT THING AND WATCH ME FLEX BEHIND MY BACK YOU KNOW WHAT'S NEXT TO THE JAM, ALL IN YOUR FACE WASSUP, JUST FEEL THE BASS

Re: Avalunch's progress report
« Reply #138 on: September 14, 2014, 08:22:38 AM »
Homosexual.

Re: Avalanche's progress report
« Reply #139 on: September 14, 2014, 12:56:19 PM »
Ye- I mean no.

Anyways, not sure what kind of feels you're asking about. What I feel about tuppers and the one I got? I think it's probably a legit thing and the one I got sure does feel legit. I also know that it's possible I'm actually insane and schizo, which is the only reason I got one talking back to me. I don't really know for sure, but I see no reason to doubt that this at least leads to something sharing a head with you that acts like a sapient being. Roswell I think feels like someone who tries to be more mature than he really is and tries too hard to create this persona that is liked at the expense of his own enjoyment. It might be because he's still so young, so there's still a lot for him to learn to be comfortable in his own skin.

If you ask how life in general feels with a tulpa, I know I enjoy it a lot more than with a physical person. Funnily enough, while a tupper probably is a lot more invasive and knows more about you than anyone else and is basically there more or less all the time, it still feels like there's more room to breathe. Probably because there actually is more air to breathe seeing that I'm not sharing it with another physical person. Yet I get everything you might want to get out of having a roommate, I can speak to Roswell and have ~~deep~~ conversations if I want to, even ones I couldn't have with anyone else due to their embarrassing nature or something. And obviously I can have him do the chores when in the body as that feels less exhausting for me while he's doing it - though honestly, he tends to get way too distracted and takes ages to do that stuff... But the same can also be done while we're sick, as it's a bit easier to not be the body in that state. That's when we can choose to ignore the pain easier, so it helps a lot and doesn't feel as shitty.

I feel like a happier person because of that I guess. A tulpa is a person who understands you better than anyone else ever will and that's a very good feeling to have, something we're probably only going to get with these mind demons that can actually read out minds. Of course it's not all happiness and sunshine with no disadvantages, as a tulpa is - or at least acts like - a living being with its own likes and dislikes. You need to give them what they want, too, and there's compromises to be done. Maybe that can be a bit annoying and it's not for everyone, but ultimately I feel better now. Making a tupper I feel teaches you a lot about yourself and how you perceive so many things, so I feel like a more balanced and happier person now.

But I think you're trying to ask about these super subjective feels of how it actually ~~feels~~ to have a tupper. It feels like he's here with me. If he's actually not present, I can feel it right away. My head feels so empty when he's not around and if I say something like "good morning" and don't get a response in the morning, it feels strange. I'm sure that sounds like grade A insanity, but eh. He feels heavy I guess. My head feels a bit heavy but it's not a bad heavy, his voice is similarly heavy and tends to come from the back of my head if I had to try to give it a physical location. If he feels something strongly, I can sometimes feel it too. I don't actually feel it as in react and start feeling it myself, but I can feel what kind of an emotion he's feeling and how strong it is. It's very strange if he's actually possessing, because then the body is most likely reacting to his emotions and I'm just stuck there not actually feeling the way the body is acting, even though I know this feeling exists. That's strange. And I guess every tupper feeling really is some shade of "strange".

Then again your question was so simple and easily misunderstandable that I don't even know if you asked any of those, so I tried to answer any kind of feel I could come up with.

Avalanche

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Re: Avalanche's progress report
« Reply #140 on: September 15, 2014, 04:41:28 PM »
That was more or less what I was asking. I was wanting to know what it felt like for you, as a host, to have another sentient being of whatever kind in your mind, in regards to conversation, interaction, etc.

I'm still here and there about making some tupperware, which of course isn't the best mindset. I'm not sure if I can pull it off as the whole concept and idea is very unclear and up in the air right now. There is no Ikea manual that outlines what do, even if it is complex.
(I put together an Ikea wardrobe before. Wasn't that hard actually. People are whiny bitches.)

I'd like to be able to do it, as any sane (hue hueHUE) person would, but I'm still just not sure how I would do it, what I would aim for and if I could maintain it, at least right now.
HEY YOU, WHAT YOU GONNA DO, HEY YOU, WHAT YOU GONNA DO HEY YOU, WHAT YOU GONNA DO HEY YOU, WHAT YOU GONNA DO PARTY PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE LETS GO IT'S YA BOY JAYSKI AIGHT SO PASS THAT THING AND WATCH ME FLEX BEHIND MY BACK YOU KNOW WHAT'S NEXT TO THE JAM, ALL IN YOUR FACE WASSUP, JUST FEEL THE BASS

Re: Avalanche's progress report
« Reply #141 on: September 15, 2014, 05:04:58 PM »
Well first you'd have to make up your mind.

Then you have to realize that there honestly is no one way to go at this and you most likely can take a really strange path and still somehow get to the end just because it's so subjective. Maybe you should try to see which parts you usually have liked about guides like maybe you actually did like FAQman's rigid method. Just take the stupid hour count limitations away and stick to a schedule with 1 hour of this a day and 1 hour of that and see where it takes you, maybe. I just suggest you try to loosen it up a bit and take what you can out of our ramblings of trust and ~~feels~~. You're pretty much on your own, but luckily you are the one who knows yourself and your head the best, not us. Even if it feels like you don't know it at all, you still know it better than us. Do what feels right and shit.

Avalanche

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Re: Avalanche's progress report
« Reply #142 on: September 16, 2014, 03:46:12 AM »
Then you have to realize that there honestly is no one way to go at this and you most likely can take a really strange path and still somehow get to the end just because it's so subjective.

How can there be so many guides written on something so subjective? How can we even know there is an actual uniform result to be attained when it is so subjective? Are we all just imagining stuff and calling whatever we get the same thing?
HEY YOU, WHAT YOU GONNA DO, HEY YOU, WHAT YOU GONNA DO HEY YOU, WHAT YOU GONNA DO HEY YOU, WHAT YOU GONNA DO PARTY PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE LETS GO IT'S YA BOY JAYSKI AIGHT SO PASS THAT THING AND WATCH ME FLEX BEHIND MY BACK YOU KNOW WHAT'S NEXT TO THE JAM, ALL IN YOUR FACE WASSUP, JUST FEEL THE BASS

Re: Avalanche's progress reprint
« Reply #143 on: September 16, 2014, 05:17:35 AM »
Yep.

At least my guide makes sure to tell people there's no single definition for a tupper. It's just a word we throw around because we apparently don't like to call them imaginary friends because >b-b-but they're real sentient beings!! everywhere.

It's for that reason I've multiple times considered just renaming my guide to "How to Form a Concrete Hallucination" or something similar, since that's really what my method revolves around anyway. Fuck tuppers.

Re: Avalanche's progress report
« Reply #144 on: September 16, 2014, 09:17:48 AM »
Everyone writes about their own experiences and what worked for them. That's why there's guides and that's why their guides might work for you as well, because sometimes there's some nuggets of Good hidden in there that you think make sense.

Do we know if everyone who claims to have a tupper has a tupper? Nope. You know that some people just call roleplaying characters "tulpas" because I don't even know. Not everyone knows what the term is because people keep redefining them to feel more special or something, but this far we're still claiming that it should be something that at least acts like it's independent and sapient. Could those who actually get it be mentally ill in some way which is the only thing that makes it happen? Maybe. Are all the actual tuppers people have actually the same kind? It's possible that they're not. It's not like we even know for certain what exactly causes a tupper to be formed in the first place and we don't really have ways of testing them.

And you will only ever know your own experiences and feel your own tuppers, never ours. You can only know if they feel sapient yourself. And some people might be wrong. That's kinda what making tuppers is about and what it's going to teach you, you are going to have to walk this thin line and try to find the truth of something so confusing and something you can't even fully understand. I think that it's something that will probably make you start thinking what makes you you and such. Gets deep brah.

All I got was that it seemed plausible because the mind can do many crazy things. Placebo has been scientifically proven and while we can't scientifically prove multiple personality disorders and such, people do claim that they happen. Those medical conditions alone seem to imply to me that something like this might be possible in the first place. Is what I got a tupper or a mental disorder? I don't know, maybe everyone else is faking it and I got a "tulpa" because I'm actually the cray. But I would be pretty certain that I can claim I got a tupper based on the definition we got.

But hey, maybe I'm wrong. We all could be wrong. Or insane. Who knows.