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Collin and Stella's Journal

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Collinbxyz:
I've been lurking on here for a while and thought it was about time I actually start keeping a log of stuff. Plus I could probably do with a bit of motivation and advice.

I've been forcing with Stella for about four months now, but she's still not vocal. Still, I'm certainly not giving up. However I am starting to think I'm doing something wrong so maybe some of you can help.

I generally force for a couple hours a day (though for a while I did less) but still nothing. Also, unless I've disregarded any, I haven't received any emotional responses either--but if I understand correctly not everyone receives them at all. The one thing I have been doing is simple yes/no head pressure communication. However I'm admittedly not entirely confident that it's her in the first place. I've also read a lot to her and I try to passively force when I can.

More recently (in the last week or two) I've created a wonderland, but it's mostly just a place for me to focus on her at the moment and there's not much to it. But she doesn't have a form right now (I'm waiting for her to choose), so perhaps it doesn't help very much anyway. I don't think she can really move around or anything yet.

I think that's about all. If you have any questions let me know. I'd really appreciate any advice and/or encouragement. Thanks!

Sands:
Head pressure communication is a really good thing though. I suppose an easy way to possibly make you feel more certain about it is if you can create the exact same feeling without straining yourself (assuming of course, that your head pressure you feel doesn't also include straining...). If you can actually create the pressure yourself - not all can right off the bat - then you can look what is different about it. Even the slightest difference is a difference, so you can start questioning why it is different and not completely identical. Perhaps that difference means it has a different origin.

If you have head pressure communication down and can actually gain confidence in it using the above method, I'm sure it would help you a lot.

Maybe it would be worth a try to actually make her a part of your life more. I'm not sure if those couple hours every day is the only time you spend with her, but if they are, maybe try to have some more passive stuff on the side as well. Maybe a bit more narration when you're bored doing something else, maybe you should try this uh. Well I dunno, sort of imposition I used to do a lot. It doesn't require a form as the goal isn't to see the tulpa, but to feel their presence around you. That way they will constantly be there with you and remind you of themselves with the presence you will learn to feel.

Why do you think she can't move around "or anything" yet? Sure, she doesn't have a form, but she's not the youngest tulpa around and she might have head pressure communication down. That is more than many others have managed to do, it's a sign of a really resourceful mind in my eyes. It's always a possibility she tries to do more but you just haven't managed to actually notice it, I know I was extremely thick early on and only later did I realize a lot of stuff, when I looked back.

Don't underestimate her, you know? That can be a block to make it harder for you to notice when she does something you think she can't do. Or you might even make her believe she can't do it because not even you trust in her abilities, so why should she? Why should she try if she doesn't even think she can't do it herself? Nocebo is a thing, too.

Well and there this thing I wrote you might want to read if you haven't yet, shameless self plug.

Collinbxyz:
I tried creating head pressure myself and I did feel some, but it still seemed different from that which I feel when I ask Stella to create it. So that's certainly a positive sign I think.

I already talk to her passively a decent amount, but I could certainly try to do so more actively. However I think my real problem with this is getting distracted. Depending upon what I'm doing while talking to her, sometimes I start thinking about other things and stop talking to her altogether. This happens especially when I'm cooking or cleaning. I'll start talking then after a minute or two I'll have stopped thinking about her entirely. The whole "feeling her presence" is definitely something I can try at least. To clarify, is this basically thinking about her and sort of acknowledging her existence, but not necessarily talking? I do this a bit already.

Again, we haven't done much with our wonderland. But more importantly, when I've asked her if she's been able to interact with our wonderland at all she's said no (through head pressures).

I do feel like this could be one of my big problems. I'll definitely try to work on this.

I've seen that post a little while ago, but I may take another look at it.

Thank you for all the help c:

Sands:
Exactly. If you made it yourself all the time then why doesn't it always feel the same, yeah?

Now I don't think anyone should spend time with someone 24/7, so maybe once you feel yourself getting distracted, understand that it is happening and if you would like to continue it, just tell your tupper that you're going to take a little break from it. Everyone should be allowed to think their own things, but maybe being all polite would help here. That's how we treat other people as well, right? Once you're done with the thing, you can return to talking to the tulpa or something. Take a break when you think you need one.

Feeling her presence is often something you do with tulpas every day anyways, but this one brings in imposing this funky little sense into the real world. Well not really but. You should try to feel the tulpa in the room with you, feel where they are around you and where they go if they walk or something. Such can also easily translate into imposing touch as well, so she might easily get your attention by just touching you. Those aren't very hard senses to impose, but it can easily make it more fun to spend time together and give you both a better experience.

And yeah, you don't really talk. You can, but you don't have to. They are just with you and you could go somewhere together. Share the senses and such, if she wants to.

Anyways now that you seem to have a bit more trust in the head pressure communication, use it. Yes/no answers can be extremely helpful. You can't really ask why she can't do anything in the wonderland, but you could ask if you're the issue or if you could do this or that to help. You need to ask a lot more questions, but that's why we communicate, right? You might learn something new.

Don't thank me yet, thank me if you actually make a breakthrough.

Enny:
>Share the senses

You never gave me this advice. Like, if there's one thing I'm actually good at in this gods-forsaken process, it's switching all thoughts and emotions towards the lady, but I never actually thought of relaying touch and smell and such to her like I would words.

Welp. Better late than never, thanks Sands. Unless you unnoticeabley mentioned it fifteen posts of my PR back, in which case, damnit Enny step up your game.


And Collin! Please post here, we need more than three and a half people. I know how easy it is to forget, but pls :'l

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