Author Topic: Collin and Stella's Journal  (Read 21682 times)

Collin and Stella's Journal
« on: January 27, 2014, 08:16:19 PM »
I've been lurking on here for a while and thought it was about time I actually start keeping a log of stuff. Plus I could probably do with a bit of motivation and advice.

I've been forcing with Stella for about four months now, but she's still not vocal. Still, I'm certainly not giving up. However I am starting to think I'm doing something wrong so maybe some of you can help.

I generally force for a couple hours a day (though for a while I did less) but still nothing. Also, unless I've disregarded any, I haven't received any emotional responses either--but if I understand correctly not everyone receives them at all. The one thing I have been doing is simple yes/no head pressure communication. However I'm admittedly not entirely confident that it's her in the first place. I've also read a lot to her and I try to passively force when I can.

More recently (in the last week or two) I've created a wonderland, but it's mostly just a place for me to focus on her at the moment and there's not much to it. But she doesn't have a form right now (I'm waiting for her to choose), so perhaps it doesn't help very much anyway. I don't think she can really move around or anything yet.

I think that's about all. If you have any questions let me know. I'd really appreciate any advice and/or encouragement. Thanks!

Re: Collin and Stella's Journal
« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2014, 08:53:12 AM »
Head pressure communication is a really good thing though. I suppose an easy way to possibly make you feel more certain about it is if you can create the exact same feeling without straining yourself (assuming of course, that your head pressure you feel doesn't also include straining...). If you can actually create the pressure yourself - not all can right off the bat - then you can look what is different about it. Even the slightest difference is a difference, so you can start questioning why it is different and not completely identical. Perhaps that difference means it has a different origin.

If you have head pressure communication down and can actually gain confidence in it using the above method, I'm sure it would help you a lot.

Maybe it would be worth a try to actually make her a part of your life more. I'm not sure if those couple hours every day is the only time you spend with her, but if they are, maybe try to have some more passive stuff on the side as well. Maybe a bit more narration when you're bored doing something else, maybe you should try this uh. Well I dunno, sort of imposition I used to do a lot. It doesn't require a form as the goal isn't to see the tulpa, but to feel their presence around you. That way they will constantly be there with you and remind you of themselves with the presence you will learn to feel.

Why do you think she can't move around "or anything" yet? Sure, she doesn't have a form, but she's not the youngest tulpa around and she might have head pressure communication down. That is more than many others have managed to do, it's a sign of a really resourceful mind in my eyes. It's always a possibility she tries to do more but you just haven't managed to actually notice it, I know I was extremely thick early on and only later did I realize a lot of stuff, when I looked back.

Don't underestimate her, you know? That can be a block to make it harder for you to notice when she does something you think she can't do. Or you might even make her believe she can't do it because not even you trust in her abilities, so why should she? Why should she try if she doesn't even think she can't do it herself? Nocebo is a thing, too.

Well and there this thing I wrote you might want to read if you haven't yet, shameless self plug.

Re: Collin and Stella's Journal
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2014, 12:25:02 PM »
I tried creating head pressure myself and I did feel some, but it still seemed different from that which I feel when I ask Stella to create it. So that's certainly a positive sign I think.

I already talk to her passively a decent amount, but I could certainly try to do so more actively. However I think my real problem with this is getting distracted. Depending upon what I'm doing while talking to her, sometimes I start thinking about other things and stop talking to her altogether. This happens especially when I'm cooking or cleaning. I'll start talking then after a minute or two I'll have stopped thinking about her entirely. The whole "feeling her presence" is definitely something I can try at least. To clarify, is this basically thinking about her and sort of acknowledging her existence, but not necessarily talking? I do this a bit already.

Again, we haven't done much with our wonderland. But more importantly, when I've asked her if she's been able to interact with our wonderland at all she's said no (through head pressures).

I do feel like this could be one of my big problems. I'll definitely try to work on this.

I've seen that post a little while ago, but I may take another look at it.

Thank you for all the help c:

Re: Collin and Stella's Journal
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2014, 03:50:52 PM »
Exactly. If you made it yourself all the time then why doesn't it always feel the same, yeah?

Now I don't think anyone should spend time with someone 24/7, so maybe once you feel yourself getting distracted, understand that it is happening and if you would like to continue it, just tell your tupper that you're going to take a little break from it. Everyone should be allowed to think their own things, but maybe being all polite would help here. That's how we treat other people as well, right? Once you're done with the thing, you can return to talking to the tulpa or something. Take a break when you think you need one.

Feeling her presence is often something you do with tulpas every day anyways, but this one brings in imposing this funky little sense into the real world. Well not really but. You should try to feel the tulpa in the room with you, feel where they are around you and where they go if they walk or something. Such can also easily translate into imposing touch as well, so she might easily get your attention by just touching you. Those aren't very hard senses to impose, but it can easily make it more fun to spend time together and give you both a better experience.

And yeah, you don't really talk. You can, but you don't have to. They are just with you and you could go somewhere together. Share the senses and such, if she wants to.

Anyways now that you seem to have a bit more trust in the head pressure communication, use it. Yes/no answers can be extremely helpful. You can't really ask why she can't do anything in the wonderland, but you could ask if you're the issue or if you could do this or that to help. You need to ask a lot more questions, but that's why we communicate, right? You might learn something new.

Don't thank me yet, thank me if you actually make a breakthrough.

Enny

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Re: Collin and Stella's Journal
« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2014, 08:35:44 PM »
>Share the senses

You never gave me this advice. Like, if there's one thing I'm actually good at in this gods-forsaken process, it's switching all thoughts and emotions towards the lady, but I never actually thought of relaying touch and smell and such to her like I would words.

Welp. Better late than never, thanks Sands. Unless you unnoticeabley mentioned it fifteen posts of my PR back, in which case, damnit Enny step up your game.


And Collin! Please post here, we need more than three and a half people. I know how easy it is to forget, but pls :'l

Re: Collin and Stella's Journal
« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2014, 09:21:03 PM »
Feeling her presence is often something you do with tulpas every day anyways, but this one brings in imposing this funky little sense into the real world. Well not really but. You should try to feel the tulpa in the room with you, feel where they are around you and where they go if they walk or something. Such can also easily translate into imposing touch as well, so she might easily get your attention by just touching you. Those aren't very hard senses to impose, but it can easily make it more fun to spend time together and give you both a better experience.

I'm a little confused about imposing touch. How do I go about doing that? I'm not sure if it makes a difference, but I haven't looked into imposition at all really. Can you elaborate on that a bit?

And yeah, you don't really talk. You can, but you don't have to. They are just with you and you could go somewhere together. Share the senses and such, if she wants to.

Same thing with imposition; how do I go about sharing my senses?

Anyways now that you seem to have a bit more trust in the head pressure communication, use it. Yes/no answers can be extremely helpful. You can't really ask why she can't do anything in the wonderland, but you could ask if you're the issue or if you could do this or that to help. You need to ask a lot more questions, but that's why we communicate, right? You might learn something new.

I'm not quite sure what made the difference, but I'm pretty confident that she just managed to alter our wonderland, and significantly too (completely changed the landscape). We'll definitely keep trying this.

Don't thank me yet, thank me if you actually make a breakthrough.

Seriously, thank you. Even if your advice doesn't help (and it has seemingly already helped quite a bit so far) I really appreciate it.

And Collin! Please post here, we need more than three and a half people. I know how easy it is to forget, but pls :'l

I'll try! Reading your diary very much encouraged me to make my own c:
« Last Edit: January 29, 2014, 08:04:53 PM by Collinbxyz »

Enny

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Re: Collin and Stella's Journal
« Reply #6 on: January 28, 2014, 11:21:39 PM »
Omg I have a fan.

But imean, I know how ermm.. Repetitive I get, and all that :l

Hope it didn't make for /too/ boring a read, or any of that. Like, I have a progress report on .info that's fukn like, even longer than the one here, but that was at least three times the amount of filler I used here. All that being said, I tried toning it down, but I know it was full of:

>Idunno

>(I'll/We'll/Let's) see (how/what) (I/we) can do

Especially that second one. So yeah, sorry for that, haha..

If you've got questions on anything though, feel free, I'm not doing anything more important with my time. Should be working, but, well.. You read the Diary PR thing.

Re: Collin and Stella's Journal
« Reply #7 on: January 29, 2014, 06:32:53 AM »
>Share the senses

You never gave me this advice. Like, if there's one thing I'm actually good at in this gods-forsaken process, it's switching all thoughts and emotions towards the lady, but I never actually thought of relaying touch and smell and such to her like I would words.

Welp. Better late than never, thanks Sands. Unless you unnoticeabley mentioned it fifteen posts of my PR back, in which case, damnit Enny step up your game.

Pfft. Well I can't even remember if that's what I told you, because you had a lot of poblems with visualizing and that's what we concentrated on for the most part. Here we can't work on the visualization (or it's not a problem) so gotta work on other senses instead. Though sense sharing is always a good little trick and perhaps it seemed so obvious and I didn't even mention it, so whoops, sorry.


Right now back to the usual.

Imposing touch. Obviously something you can approach many different ways. One good method might be to first touch a body part yourself to get a real feeling, then try to imagine it. Perhaps even ask your tulpa to touch you there to involve her in it more. But that would kind of force her to have a certain form as if you touch with human fingers, human fingers will be what you feel if you try to replicate the feeling entirely. And as there is no form yet, you don't really know what you should be feeling. Up to you if you want to try that, though remember that the form can always be changed and practicing this little touch thing is going to help you later on, different form or not.

You might also just not really bother doing it much yourself and let it come. Focus on the presence and if you suddenly think you were touched in a way but nothing physical did that, you could ask the tulpa if they did it. You can ask her that now, yeah? Tuppers can be pretty resourceful and headstrong, I know that there's a lot I probably wouldn't have gotten on my own unless I sort of had it happen to me because the tupper wants to do that. Let her know that she can touch you if she wishes and stuff, and keep your eyes (uh, or whatever you'd say if you wanted to notice feelings better) open.

Sharing senses, then. How do you feel your own senses? A stupid question because you always feel them, right? They always exist and the tulpa shares your body and your brain, where the magic happens. Sharing senses can be just as simple as just deciding she is going to do it, because a lot of this "mind magic" is nothing but deciding this is what will happen and it will happen, kind of like making a wonderland. But symbolism can be extremely helpful if she thinks she's having trouble tapping onto the senses by just "doing it".

Symbolism can definitely be used, but it is very personal and it's better if you figure a way on your own as that tends to be the strongest, but some key elements might be creating some sort of connection between her and the body. One exists already, but perhaps she hasn't learned to really feel it yet. Symbolism could be something as simple as flipping switches in the wonderland that cause her to experience all your senses or maybe she will go "inside" you to feel everything, if that even makes any sense. But such is symbolism, decide what sounds like it will work and try it.

Sense sharing seems like it makes it a bit easier to possess once the tupper is comfortable with the body's senses and familiar with the whole thing, but also imposition as it makes it feel a bit more "realistic" instead of completely imaginary, like a wonderland. Or something. Just pulling stuff out of my ass here, based on my experiences.

What both of you need seems to be confidence in your own abilities. I see that at least the tupper is trying her limits now, keep up the good work. There's nothing you should say you can't do yet unless it would be dangerous to try and fail, because confidence is what makes us succeed when we might give up otherwise. Keep doing what you're doing now I guess.

Re: Collin and Stella's Journal
« Reply #8 on: January 30, 2014, 11:37:35 AM »
We're trying imposition of temperature in a similar way to what you were describing with touch. That is, I touched myself on the arm with a cold water bottle then tried to imagine that feeling. I feel like this could be easier and it doesn't require any type of form (though it seems like Stella wants a human form so that doesn't matter too much), but we'll see.

It seems like the symbolism worked and she can now share my senses as she pleases.

What about sharing memories? Can that be done in a similar way?

Re: Collin and Stella's Journal
« Reply #9 on: January 30, 2014, 12:37:01 PM »
Yeah, of course. This kind of stuff all exists in that head of yours already, it's only a matter of tapping into it. The trick behind it all is just willpower, understanding that you can do it because it all is there already and nothing is actually there to stop it. But not everyone believes it can be so simple and that can shake the confidence you need to make it happen, so symbolism definitely can help everyone if it feels like it will work. Back in the day, the memory sharing trick was making a library that represented your memories, which the tupper could then access.

MegaBusta

Re: Collin and Stella's Journal
« Reply #10 on: January 30, 2014, 04:58:30 PM »
You could also make it a laptop or something portable.

Re: Collin and Stella's Journal
« Reply #11 on: January 30, 2014, 05:50:29 PM »
The idea of sharing memories isn't that it's only with you when you look at whatever your symbolism is. The symbolism should be there to make them able to access it in the first place, after which they should be able to remember the memories just like you. If a laptop makes you understand that better then sure.

Re: Collin and Stella's Journal
« Reply #12 on: January 30, 2014, 08:54:04 PM »
She says she now has access to my memories c: The library thing seemed to work.

Already the symbolism has worked for both accessing memories and sharing my senses. Do you think we could also use it to help with vocality?

Really, thank you for all the help so far!

Enny

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Re: Collin and Stella's Journal
« Reply #13 on: January 31, 2014, 07:57:13 AM »
Okay, how exactly did you go about the library deal? I tried several ways of handing over my memories, and either she just plain sucks at sifting through them, or it didn't work.

So like, what were you thinking, what exactly did you do/say?

Re: Collin and Stella's Journal
« Reply #14 on: January 31, 2014, 09:40:37 AM »
Enny, this is symbolism we're talking about. Not everyone can get the same thing to work because it has to make sense for both of you. Symbolism is nothing but the training wheels to help you understand how to do something, so why not think of something that makes sense for you? How do you think you would share the senses using symbolism so it would work? Sometimes you can do nothing but create your own methods and symbolism, because we all are different and different things work for us all. This is why I disapprove of guides that are nothing but symbolism, because they are so personal, they will only work for a small amount of people.

And symbolism can be used to do anything. For vocality, some people have tried using some kind of volume switch, thinking that the tulpa has been too quiet or something. Standing in front of a microphone and having them talk is a similar method. For me, my symbolism was actually forcing vocal cords. You might want to look at some vocal cords in action as they move, there's videos like that and it's very interesting, if nothing else.

Symbolism is weird.