Alright, time to update. Quite a bit to say, actually. Hop on and enjoy the boring-ass ride.
For the last couple months, I've been taking college courses, balancing two jobs, and just trying to figure out life. Living alone in a nearly-abandoned college dorm provides ample time for that. In that time, though, I didn't really do as much with Luna or Haya as before. Hell, there were a few days where they never crossed my mind; I got so caught up in taking on new responsibilities that I simply stopped trying. That said, hardly a day has gone by that they haven't caught me off-guard by trying to start up some smalltalk or chimed in on my thoughts throughout the day. My attempts to interact with them died down, but they still stuck around and did it themselves. Initially I felt awful for not putting the effort forth, like I had just stopped being able to care. Whenever I thought of them I'd tell myself, "there are bigger things to focus on." And I'd still say that's true, and they think so as well. But, after looking back, I think now that they've become more aware of their situation and mine than they were before. The fact that they're still here at this point without so much as an idle thought on my part wasn't something I'd realized until recently, and I'm pretty surprised. Of course, that just means that we need to go deeper.
When I first found the tulpa community, I got into visualization, possession/switching, wonderlands, all that good stuff. It was a fun ride, and lots of good memories were had. When I found Tulpanet, I was looking to make progress with these two in those areas and whatever would go beyond. Now, I've got all of those things down. Luna can and has switched for more than a few hours at a time (and around other people, even), and although Haya hasn't yet, I'm certain things will go fine. Visualization is how it's always been- tedious but forms come easily over time. Without frequent attention, though, I actually have a bit of difficulty recalling the finer details in the forms Luna and Haya had chosen way-back-when. Instead of trying to pull back memories of their more cartoonish forms, we're starting fresh on ones actually resembling humans. I'm going to try visualizing them while in front of a mirror to solidify the feeling that they are there and that I can see them.in the hopes that the strange feeling of visualizing them in open air will lessen; instead of staring at a wall for hours, I'll be staring at my reflection and the space next to me (I have no idea how things will go, we'll see).
There's also a lot of catching up to do around here. Abandoning every forum I'm usually on for a couple months will do that. I'll take a day or two to read up on all the new posts/threads (which I will probably wait to reply to, as per usual) and start attending the chat a little more regularly. Who knows, I might just visit the minecraft server sometime, if it's still up. I'm sure these two would love to play and chat with everyone again.
Oh, and I missed you all, and I'm interested to see if there are new people in the IRC chat. Yeah.
tldr; things changed, I stopped trying to tupper, tuppers did their tupper thing anyway. starting some stuff over, moving forward. glad to be back.
