Author Topic: Daecher (and friends)'s Growth Log  (Read 34517 times)

Re: Daecher (and friends)'s Growth Log
« Reply #90 on: July 08, 2015, 09:09:28 PM »
Now you have to have a beach vacation, for the sake of the tuppers.

A lake is fine too. If it has sandy beaches.

Daecher

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Re: Daecher (and friends)'s Growth Log
« Reply #91 on: July 29, 2015, 10:39:38 PM »
Alright, time to update. Quite a bit to say, actually. Hop on and enjoy the boring-ass ride.

For the last couple months, I've been taking college courses, balancing two jobs, and just trying to figure out life. Living alone in a nearly-abandoned college dorm provides ample time for that. In that time, though, I didn't really do as much with Luna or Haya as before. Hell, there were a few days where they never crossed my mind; I got so caught up in taking on new responsibilities that I simply stopped trying. That said, hardly a day has gone by that they haven't caught me off-guard by trying to start up some smalltalk or chimed in on my thoughts throughout the day. My attempts to interact with them died down, but they still stuck around and did it themselves. Initially I felt awful for not putting the effort forth, like I had just stopped being able to care. Whenever I thought of them I'd tell myself, "there are bigger things to focus on." And I'd still say that's true, and they think so as well. But, after looking back, I think now that they've become more aware of their situation and mine than they were before. The fact that they're still here at this point without so much as an idle thought on my part wasn't something I'd realized until recently, and I'm pretty surprised. Of course, that just means that we need to go deeper.

When I first found the tulpa community, I got into visualization, possession/switching, wonderlands, all that good stuff. It was a fun ride, and lots of good memories were had. When I found Tulpanet, I was looking to make progress with these two in those areas and whatever would go beyond. Now, I've got all of those things down. Luna can and has switched for more than a few hours at a time (and around other people, even), and although Haya hasn't yet, I'm certain things will go fine. Visualization is how it's always been- tedious but forms come easily over time. Without frequent attention, though, I actually have a bit of difficulty recalling the finer details in the forms Luna and Haya had chosen way-back-when. Instead of trying to pull back memories of their more cartoonish forms, we're starting fresh on ones actually resembling humans. I'm going to try visualizing them while in front of a mirror to solidify the feeling that they are there and that I can see them.in the hopes that the strange feeling of visualizing them in open air will lessen; instead of staring at a wall for hours, I'll be staring at my reflection and the space next to me (I have no idea how things will go, we'll see).

There's also a lot of catching up to do around here. Abandoning every forum I'm usually on for a couple months will do that. I'll take a day or two to read up on all the new posts/threads (which I will probably wait to reply to, as per usual) and start attending the chat a little more regularly. Who knows, I might just visit the minecraft server sometime, if it's still up. I'm sure these two would love to play and chat with everyone again.

Oh, and I missed you all, and I'm interested to see if there are new people in the IRC chat. Yeah.

tldr; things changed, I stopped trying to tupper, tuppers did their tupper thing anyway. starting some stuff over, moving forward. glad to be back.
"Insane" is a just a word. There are no words for this.

Re: Daecher (and friends)'s Growth Log
« Reply #92 on: July 30, 2015, 08:10:48 AM »
Well, stuff happens in life and you can't expect to hang around with friend 24/7. Even if they live in your head.

But I think it's good practice for you and the tuppers too. Seems like you have realized and understood stuff, like how you don't have to always be the one starting a conversation and how they don't really need attention all the time to stay around. It looks like you're on a good track to become the TULPA GURU.

b-baka

Re: Friend (and Deacher)'s Friend Log
« Reply #93 on: July 31, 2015, 05:47:10 AM »
Boring. I want a ticket refund.

Server's currently not up. Duke and the yogi were the only ones beside me that were actually playing. They got bored quickly, and I eventualy stopped building and exploring as well. I had my Minecraft fix, now it was time for something else. I'll probably feel like doing things in Minecraft again sometime. The interest in the server seems to come in waves, so I suppose others feel the same way; as in, they have a couple of ideas they wanna execute, and once that's done, they get bored and leave.

Daecher

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Re: Daecher (and friends)'s Growth Log
« Reply #94 on: August 02, 2015, 02:01:00 AM »
Seems so. In any case, I'm hoping that we can find other activities to use as switching practice aside from video games. Took to using colored wristbands to signify who's who for a friend of mine interested in tulpas. They've talked with him a couple times in the past and he started on one of his own a while back. Once he's back on campus during the summer, I might use him to test ideas for a "hearing your tulpa" guide I'd like to make.
"Insane" is a just a word. There are no words for this.

Daecher

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Re: Daecher (and friends)'s Growth Log
« Reply #95 on: February 05, 2017, 03:17:43 AM »
I'm not dead. Tuppers are still around. Literally dropped everything related to tuppers early 2016 as life decided to shit itself, slowly working towards old goals (like actually perceiving touch, for example). Making time for tuppers takes fucking effort with full-time college, work, and shitty personal relationships, much more than I can handle most of the time. In the last few months I've been working to change that.

Maybe one day I'll post on this regularly. Starting a new thread would be nice, but is likely frowned upon.

"Insane" is a just a word. There are no words for this.

Re: Daecher (and friends)'s Growth Log
« Reply #96 on: February 05, 2017, 05:34:32 AM »
Eh, do whatever works for you, really. As long as you stick with it this time?!

Daecher

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Re: Daecher (and friends)'s ???? Log
« Reply #97 on: February 05, 2017, 11:38:07 PM »
I intend to. I'm just going to set concrete, achievable goals for us, and move on once we're satisfied (as opposed to trying to do everything at once, failing, and then me inevitably moving on to something else). I've nearly got my bachelor's degree, and I've got a (relatively) stable spot doing research at my university to not have to worry about getting a secondary job or anything else time-consuming. I figure that remaining time can be well-spent learning about myself and my tulpas.
"Insane" is a just a word. There are no words for this.

Daecher

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Re: Daecher (and friends)'s Growth Log
« Reply #98 on: February 08, 2017, 12:08:22 AM »
First thing I'm going for right now is imposing touch. I'm pretty terrible at remembering what things look like, but I can recall texture and feel pretty well. Sitting for 30-60 minutes each evening, and again in the night (I sleep in two intervals), starting off with hands. They touch my hands, then we switch after an undefined period of time, back and forth. So far, it's just running the tips of fingers on the others' palms, but I'll see how it goes. All I'm really going for is the sensation of light touching, like gently rubbing your fingers on rice paper without breaking it. I would assume that they would be able to make firmer touches than me (seeing as I'm tangible), but I honestly have no idea how well or how long this will go on. Still, it's a nice way to relax and make conversation while I'm not working/in class, so I'll take what I can get.

I don't plan on posting every day, but little bits of progress or ideas during the week.
"Insane" is a just a word. There are no words for this.

Re: Daecher (and friends)'s Growth Log
« Reply #99 on: February 08, 2017, 03:23:08 AM »
Are you going to touch the toes though.

Daecher

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Re: Daecher (and friends)'s Growth Log
« Reply #100 on: February 08, 2017, 04:21:12 AM »
Eventually, yes. Touching toes is a rare experience, aside from one's own toes, so it will be interesting.
"Insane" is a just a word. There are no words for this.

Re: Daecher (and friends)'s Growth Log
« Reply #101 on: February 09, 2017, 06:44:41 AM »
Soles feel pretty interesting.

Daecher

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Re: Daecher (and friends)'s Growth Log
« Reply #102 on: February 22, 2017, 12:41:39 AM »
Welcome back, forum. I missed you.

I've kinda strayed from doing steady, rhythmic touching/rubbing stuff with tuppers, and more "let's-try-to-touch-this-part" stuff. Doing it with open-eye visualizing has helped a bit, I think. I try to do it evenly with both Luna and Haya, and the sensation I get with both is something akin to the feeling you get when you rub your hands together really quickly, albeit without the heat and very, very subtle. Light tingling. It's all very interesting and slightly awkward and relaxing at the same time. It's become something of an evening ritual now.

Valentine's Day was nice. It was cold and rainy (my favorite weather), so I took some time off work and went for a walk outside. There's a trail near my university that goes through some woods, which was nice for some personal time.

"Insane" is a just a word. There are no words for this.

Re: Daecher (and friends)'s Growth Log
« Reply #103 on: February 22, 2017, 05:42:00 AM »
Did you even go on a date with tuppers? I think you should. Full on imposition cafe adventure where you will curse when someone sits on the chair the tupper is sitting in.

Daecher

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Re: Daecher (and friends)'s Growth Log
« Reply #104 on: February 23, 2017, 12:16:48 AM »
It was a date of sorts, I guess. While I keep track of my position relative to tuppers, I don't pay much attention to other people passing through them and such.

I wonder what a tupper cafe would look like. A normal cafe, except everyone's only talking to themselves, not each other, maybe?
"Insane" is a just a word. There are no words for this.