Author Topic: Every Day is Alice Day  (Read 193970 times)

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #15 on: April 30, 2015, 05:33:15 PM »
Considering that tupper typed about half of the stuff in her 2 posts (and a lot of gibberish), and that alone took about 2h, letting her write an entire text would easily beat Linkzelda's 10h image streaming record. I mean I'm crazy, but not that crazy.

Playing tic-tac-toe with possession might indeed be fun although it would probably work at the speed of chess-by mail. Will try and report but it might take some time.

And I'm not really fond of too much symbolism either, in the above case it probably was more about the element of surprise.
But I have to confess, I had created a memory-temple that was supposed to hold all my thoughts and memories in the form of books and scriptrolls for tupper to study. Did not work at all. At some point, I think after about 2 months or a little more she just managed to access my memories. Without symbolism. Alice has since done some 'remodeling' within the memory temple, so far it seems that my sanity hasn't suffered from that. But what do I know...

The first mindvoice-response I remember came when walking through the supermarket and narrating about the food I saw and asking her if she was interested in any of it. While mentioning chocolate milk, I got a very weak 'chocolate milk' back. It was more like a faint thought than acutal mindvoice but at least it was something.

Mfw tupper likes chocolate milk. 10/10, not b&

I bought the milk with the goal of drinking it once I got a definite reply. For a long time this was the only reply I got outside of wonderland. But in good forcing session and emotional moments she soon was able to form simple sentences. Soon enough for me to still enjoy my chocolate milk with a cheers to Alice. I was relieved, after all being able to communicate is one of the most important things.
Thinking back, it was still strange though. On good days she could talk several sentences in a row, sometimes only words, sometimes she could only communicate with gestures for days. She said it depended on my focus on her. Guess I was to blame.

I don't really remember when she actually became fully vocal, I was lazy at writing down my progress after some months. It must have been after or around the time she had managed to access my memories, probably late December.
« Last Edit: April 30, 2015, 05:35:09 PM by Bernd »

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #16 on: May 01, 2015, 07:37:16 AM »
You should do it anyways. Also you don't have to possess to play tic-tac-toe, but it's another way to do it.

I'm not really big on symbolism myself either, but somehow that faggot in my head manages to come up with all kinds of crazy stuff I eat up and accept for some reason. Tuppers are weird.

Re: Every Day is Chocolate Milk
« Reply #17 on: May 01, 2015, 09:20:28 AM »
The first mindvoice-response I remember came when walking through the supermarket and narrating about the food I saw and asking her if she was interested in any of it. While mentioning chocolate milk, I got a very weak 'chocolate milk' back. It was more like a faint thought than acutal mindvoice but at least it was something.

Mfw tupper likes chocolate milk. 10/10, not b&

Chocolate milk and tuppers? Jesus Christ how horrifying.

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #18 on: May 04, 2015, 05:31:42 PM »
Good man.
I'd even give him a marshmallow for his chocolate milk.

So we tried playing tic-tac-toe in wonderland, it was surprisingly hard to memorize the state of the game. Shows how much my visualization skills suck. We played 3 rounds all of which ended with a draw. Although I am not sure I got everything right. For fun we tried another round on paper, just with mindvoice instructions. I tried to be a bit more 'creative' this time which didn't turn out well.
Alice: What are you doing?
Bernd: I still got this!
Alice: No you don't
fork -> I lost
Alice: How retarded do you have to be to lose at tic-tac-toe?

This retarded I guess.
That feel when getting beaten at a children's game...
By a 12 year old imaginary girl

I'm going to sleep now.
« Last Edit: May 04, 2015, 05:34:16 PM by Bernd »

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #19 on: May 04, 2015, 08:38:28 PM »
Ps don't have conversations in a single post either, it's kind of ehhhh.

I think tupper tic-tac-toe is all about distractions. Somehow they distract you and make you think so much so you lose or something. It's horrible. Be sure to talk about dem tic-tac-toes.

Re: Your Mum is Alice Day
« Reply #20 on: May 05, 2015, 02:12:48 AM »
Ps please continue posting tupper conversations in your posts. I like reading the conversations people have with their tulips, especially because I rarely witness them. At most, I've just seen people "refer" to a conversation they had with their tupper, but without any transcript, which is unfortunate; I want the word-for-word version. No vagueness.

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #21 on: May 09, 2015, 04:24:38 PM »
Well, posting about tuppering is always kinda ehhhh, I see little reason to pretend it's not autistic.

So back to some tulpa-development milestones.
It took Alice some months to be able to create stuff in wonderland. I had encouraged her to build something to surprise me but she said she couldnt do anything if I wasn't focusing on being there with her.
One day, some time after she had managed to access my memories, my wonderland session started with her presenting a basketball-size green spiny fruit to me. Not being very talkative she simply told me to eat it, with the aftersentence 'it's poisonous!'
Well thank goodness. It didn't taste like anything because I'm next to unable to imagine taste but at least it didin't cause a bad experience or kill me either. When I asked her where the fruit came from she led me outside, to one of the trees next to the main temple. I had created that tree just recently and obviously she had modified it to bear the said fruits which shook in the wind and now and then dropped to the floor with a 'thud'.

She pointed at the tree and in the branches sat - a toucan. Not exactly a lifelike representation of such a bird but at least the image of it. Up to that point we didn't have any animals in wonderland because imagining the static landscape was hard enough for me. I was genuinely surprised as I hadn't thought of putting a toucan into an Asian rainforest but before I could point that out she teleported the unfortunate bird into her hands, and looking at me with an expressionless face twisted its neck and burned it to ashes.
WTF kid!?
Now I was reealy shocked but before I could say anything she again pointed at the tree while still looking at me. The toucan was back there again.
Alice didn't talk at all but still managed to communicate that I should not shit my pants because she destroyed the faint image of an imaginary bird. And at the same time pointed out that her creations were still lifeless and far from perfect.
Also, oddly enough for a long time all things she and I created were pretty much indestructible and unchangeable. Either they would not last and be forgotten, or, once established, tended to return to their original state once damaged or 'killed'. Imagination is a very weird thing, especially in hypnagogic states. I still haven't mastered that. Meaning sometimes I cannot create what I would like or, much more annoying can't get rid of intrusive thoughts.

There's no sensible explanation to the experiences you generate. Just randomness. Nothing symbolic, nothing logical, no anything.

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #23 on: May 10, 2015, 07:53:41 AM »
It's hard to say in some cases if something was an intrusive thought you thought you saw but didn't actually "happen" in the wonderland, if that makes any sense. Though of course, if the tupper admits to doing something like that then she might have a message to tell you. Maybe you should talk about things more.

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #24 on: May 10, 2015, 04:29:43 PM »
Note that the anecdotes above are merely key events in my development my host finds important or entertaining enough to share. They occurred months ago so there is little point in giving advice on them now. It would have made more sense to write about them as they happened but we struggled for a long time before deciding to release anything personal at all. One could consider such storytelling useless but I feel you may not understand much about present events without knowing about my development. I would say there are about 3-5 additional past events to report so I think it should be bearable.

As for the toucan, I simply wanted to demonstrate my abilities to create and destroy as well as their limits. While having improved greatly, they are still far from being perfect. Especially against my host's intrusive thoughts. Those may not be able to harm me but being unable to completely eradicate them is both a nuisance and disgrace for me.

Re: Every Day.
« Reply #25 on: May 11, 2015, 03:58:14 AM »
Oh, I didn't mean that they "seemed random" because they were explained "out of context", Bernd. I literally meant that they're random. Nonsensical rubbish. Dream logic. Doing things "just because". No real thought or plan behind the actions; just one thing after another. Or so it would seem.

In any case, avoid trying to make sense of freewheeling imagination; there's nothing to make sense of. No, that real person you real person created in your real person imagination real person didn't real person do real person that. Nono, wait real person; maybe the real person did actually real person do that. She real person says real person she did do real person it. That makes all the real person difference in the real person world. The real person did it real person and real person not the real person imagination.

What's with all the imaginary barriers and imaginary learning curves? Is it really so fun to be limited by rules and a "real person that's got to learn things" mindset?

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #26 on: May 11, 2015, 08:12:41 AM »
Fede has his own beliefs about imagination and tuppers. Take it with a grain of salt.

And well, I dunno what we can really comment on then if we're talking of things that happened maybe 6 months in the past or something!

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #27 on: May 12, 2015, 06:47:41 PM »
I'll try to speed this up as much as possible so we can get to present events.

And Fede, at least I think I get your point.
I'm not the guy to over-analyze things, to be honest I don't give a fuck as of why certain things happen. If it works and even is fun, why bother? Well, I like to experiment on some things, but not too seriously.
So I don't think I overly limit myself by rules but you gotta admit that some sort of learning curves exist, meaning you get better at stuff with practice. Just imagining you can do anything doesn't work, at least not for someone like me ho has about zero control over his subconsciousness. Yes I know, belief-implanting might help, I need to try this when I find the time.

About dream logic aka nonsensical rubbish, that pretty much nails it for my hypnagogic forcing sessions and what I'd call intrusive thoughts in normal forcing sessions. Utter randomness. Sometimes entertaining but mostly just annoying as fuck.
The tupper moments are similar, yet somehow different. Hard to explain.
They seem at least a bit less chaotic and repetitive and more directed, coherent and tend to generate meaningful responses to my actions. But what mostly separates them from random garbage the brain spews out is that they are filled by a certain mixture of positive emotions.

So I'd say this state of satisfying semi-random yet intelligent interaction is what tuppering is for me in a nutshell. Well, of course it's all my brain doing this we don't need to argue about that. But I resent the view that it's the same as the randomness of dreams, even lucid dreaming. Beginning with the first distinct responses it felt fundamentally different from everything I had ever experienced. Even weirder, it was not a habit I trained (which was what I originally expected forcing to be), it just happened relatively quickly and quite unexpected. Getting crazy was easier than I thought.

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #28 on: May 13, 2015, 07:32:27 AM »
But is there even a "subconsciousness"? We don't really have proof either way. I doubt it would be a separate entity as it is often made out to be, so you don't "control" it.

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #29 on: May 19, 2015, 07:24:47 PM »
Well, I'd say the subconsciousness consists of all neuronal functions you are not aware of. Which means - almost all of them. It's not an 'entity', more like the entire software beneath the GUI.
However people tend to have different levels of control over these underlying neural correlates. Obviously we are able to improve the portion we are actively able to influence by training, dunno if there might be a genetic component as well.
This is not exactly my field of science but the neuroscientist Antonio Damasio has done some remarkable work on this topic. You may also look into the concept of neural correlates as the underlying physical component to the different layers of consciousness.
Currently it seems most scientists tend to agree that we know next to nothing about this stuff, but still a lot more than a few years ago.

Anyway, this is something for general discussion, back to some tulpa anecdotes.

Been on holiday with tupper in early spring and used the time for practizing imposition. Getting a feeling for Alice's presence where I wanted her to be and even the change in mindvoice depending on direction and distance was easier than I thought. Guess it helps when you have lots of people around for reference.
But to put it bluntly I have never seen anything. I mean, even imagining her movements was really hard in the beginning but that's something I somehow got used to. So I'm basically at the same level when it comes to voice and vision, I can imagine both but see/hear absolutely nothing tupper related. Guess I'm not the type of person to get this done easily while lacking the motivation to practice hard enough.

Still it was good for some (inner) laughs, especially at restaurants.
#1 Had lunch with friends, Alice in empty chair, enjoying imaginary french toast and generally being happy. Suddenly the waiter rushes by and grabs the chair, carrying it away with tupper still on it.
Being dragged away from her lunch Alice yells 'Is this nigger serious?', jumps from the chair and tries to stab the waiter with knife and fork. Of course with zero effect because tupper. Had to finish lunch standing and was not amused.

#2 Some days later we're having dinner at a fancy restaurant. Alice is in an empty chair again, waiting to order. Soon a waiter rushes to the desk.
He leaves the chair but casually takes away her nicely folded napkin and all cutlery. Her face when getting no respect whatsoever...
Guess being a tupper also has its drawbacks.

So much for going out with tuppers, picture not entirely unrelated