inb4 having to stick to schedules is worst punishment already

It's been really hot last week and I got even less things done than normal. Just hanging out in parks and swimming in the Eisbach which is awesome. Tupper was always around but that's just passive forcing. Still complained about all the young athletic people being in better shape than me. Told her she should take over and exercise herself. Doesn't work out so far.

Well at least Alice has made up an active forcing schedule that seems doable. And summer will be over soon which leaves much more time for sitting around with closed eyes. Experimented a bit with lucid dreaming, more precisely the hypnagogic hallucinations before falling asleep and between dream cycles in the morning. But eventually we were both too tired to achieve anything and just wanted to sleep. I'm sure this could yield promising results with some effort.
However, as always there is none

I see a lot of whining and not enough doing.

Monday, Sept 11

Daytime:
Some passive forcing while outside and exercising, nothing noteworthy

Evening:
45min active forcing in bed. Aided by massive kneading of 2 cats sitting on my chest and legs.
Focused on visualisation, actually only tupper's face. Never done that a lot as she still has no definite form and as there are no templates to rely on it's always a bit difficult. Plus she doesn't want to choose one all by herself which makes things even more difficult. To make it short, visualisation was ridiculously bad. Visualizing certain objects or details of clothes, surfaces ect. works pretty well. But faces doesn't. It got a bit more consistent during the end but still meh. No wonder, can't even imagine when we properly did that last time. Also some intrusive thoughts making Alice move against her will. The hell, I thought we were over that? We managed to get it under control with collaborative efforts but it was more of a struggle than it should be.

TL;DR
List of stuff that needs more practice:
everything

Tuesday, Sept12

Daytime:
Tupper was around occasionally at work and helped a bit with cooking dinner, possession was ok.

Evening:
1h of active forcing in bed, again 'supported' by cats. They're nowhere in sight but as soon as I lay down and close my eyes I can hear the cat door opening, lots of purring, followed by cat sitting on me. But it wasn't really distracting.
Things went a bit better than yesterday, I tried to focus on specific parts of Alice's face but as said it's not easy when both don't know how stuff is ideally supposed to look like. Plus my lack of anatomical knowledge isn't helping either. Got decent colors though. This is why I must git gud at drawing. How am I supposed to visualize something I could not even sketch out while looking at it? Will study some reference material for tomorrow's session.

Anime porn isn't reference material.

Of course not as tupper isn't 2D.
Glad we agree on that.
 
Wednesday, Sept 13

Daytime
Got caught a few times talking to myself instead of tupper. But her abilities to intervene are more on-and-off than consistent. Also did some mental math as practice. Really simple elementary school arithmetics. In fact we sort of did it together. Zoning out and letting Alice do the calculations doesn't really work yet. So much for parallel processing - if such thing is even possible. It was unexpectedly exhausting. Felt completely drained after 30min

Evening
Was really tired and briefly fell asleep during the session. Did another so it probably was around 1.5h alltogether but it was more sleeping than forcing. Again just parts of face as far as it was possible.

I told you about the stairs bro.

At least you did something.

Did continue my daily forcing sessions, not my fault I could not post about 'em. Good to see we're back!

Nothing extraordinary happened but it appears tupper is getting better at controlling the body. And stopping me from doing or buying stupid stuff. Not just scolding me like usual

which sadly is only semi-effective but actually making me not want to do stuff. Hard to describe, it's like the opposite of those waves of emotions tuppers sometimes induce. Simply annihilating a present emotion. It's working astonishingly well yet has some serious side-effects as everything seems to be affected. Meaning it kills pretty much all motivation.

So we gotta work on that. And Alice's attitude in general. There's lots of stuff she doesn't like / want me to do but little that makes her happy.
I mean she has developed lots of plans and schedules for me but it's a list of chores, not something I would consider a dream for her to pursue.

Ah, that's for sure.
It's not like I don't give her plenty of reasons to be angry.
On the other hand, by tupper's design her standards are beyond anything reachable to mortal man. Not meant as an excuse but just how it is.

Today was election day in Germany.
Tupper filled out the ballot, quite pleased with the results. Now celebrating by making pizza with Alice. Will report how it went.