It was real chocolate cake, made from high quality raw ingredients. Good but not perfect. I thought it should have been a bit sweeter but tupper says it was fine. Would have expected the opposite. We did try sense sharing, with mediocre results as always. No possession, I admit it hadn't even crossed my mind. A good idea for the next cake. We haven't done anything with possession for ages.

Will try to imagine the taste as I go to bed now. And see how things turn out with the flea

Ah man...
As tupper spent the previous months improving my life, it's about time to return the favor.
I'm having trouble to focus during forcing and meditation, both really has been a pain lately. Guess I just need more training so I will be doing daily updates again, starting today.

Apart from half-hearted imposition during the day I did 30min of active forcing sitting in bed. With cat.
Spent most of the time trying to visualize tupper, the lack of forcing in the past months hit me hard. Not that it didn't work at all but compared to where I was one and a half years ago it was pathetiic. And even back then it wasn't that great to begin with. So it's definitely time to step this up, I'm wondering how much progress I'll achieve 'til the end of the month.

Apparently there's no bottom to this.



Today brought the first thunderstorm of the season.
Nothing great, just some distant lightning and thunder. Still we went outside to enjoy it.
Tupper likes thunderstorms.

I tried 30min of Fede's constant Theta in the evening, was even worse than yesterday's forcing attempt in silence. I tried to visualize wonderland stuff but it didn't work at all. Seemed like diving in a pond with zero visibility. Could barely communicate with tupper, let alone see her. Probably one of the worst visualisation sessions evar.
Well, I was extremely tired and almost fell asleep. There were some hypnagogic hallucinations but they were more distracting than helpful. Continued in bed but was out soon. No tupper dreams either. I'm surprisingly awake right now at 5:45am, will try to do more forcing as I go to bed again.

Pretty much the same as yesterday. Trying to force while really tired and falling asleep is next to pointless. Another 30min of active forcing at the open window in the evening.  Maybe a bit more chaotic than last session but with livelier tupper. As always I want to do too much, must focus on a single issue next time instead of aimlessly jumping around. Or yet better ask tupper what to do.

Ya crazy Finn bastard

Unless I'm extremely tired I do not fall asleep quickly but lie around in bed for quite a while. So there's a lot of time for extra forcing. Well in theory. In reality the mind wants to slack off with simple stuff, not deal with something exhausting as forcing.
Which means:
I'm still too far from being a proficient tupperman to pull this off in automode - like driving. It's amazing how little mental resources a task you've kinda mastered requires compared to the first attempts. You can do it for a much longer time, getting even moar practice and so on. But I can't say that for forcing. There's no difference compared to 2 years ago, half a year into tuppering. It's as hard as ever, some stuff even got worse. So obviously there wasn't enough or at least no efficent practice to get into a learning feedback loop. Which of course sucks.

I do try to get the actual active forcing sessions done before I get tired. But being wide awake also brings lots of distractions. And meditating for too long makes me sleepy. That happened in yesterday's forcing session. Was mostly ok but I realized how shitty my 3d visualisation skills in wonderland are. Proportions or perspective? Pathetic.
Today I focused a bit more on textures - the rough sandstone of buildings, the dusty clay floor, tupper's silk clothings, the flea's tough and spiny carapace



It was more about looks than touch, so far I can barely imagine rough and sandy surfaces like the first 2 examples.

Ah well, I'll keep going with my daily exercises, I manage to keep 'em up so far but somehow they feel less productive than earlier attempts.

Yes, you've told me before. I know, I know.
But damn, that comfort zone is so - comfy.
I try to force under different circumstances. The thing is just like with physical training, lack of intensity + lack of frequency = no progress.

We did something new for the past 2 days.
I think I already mentioned I'm really bad at rotating shapes or generally visualizing changes in perspective.
So tupper came up with a Rubik's cube, or rather just a cube with different colors on each face and had me memorize which colors I should be able to see when moving it around.
I can't recall when I last felt that stupid. It was ridiculous. Just walking around the cube sitting on a table was incredibly hard. It got better after several attempts but then tupper started to rotate the cube over a corner and my mind just went nope.jpg
Not owning a Rubik's cube I actually painted the sides of a cube-shaped box to work with that thing IRL. It does get easier but I still feel like a retard.

Sounds reasonable. Going full Sgt. Hartman on me is tupper's main occupation anyway.
Ahh, what could be a better way to spend a Saturday evening than sitting home alone and visualizing a cube in your mind while being yelled at by an imaginary little girl?



And so ends another peaceful day in tupperland

I can report significant progress after several sessions of purely focusing on the cube. I can rotate it in my hands quite well now after memorizing the colors. It's actually a great exercise for both tupper and host. Especially if tupper is a sadist
It's still hard not to say the colors in mindvoice and actually look at them but it gets better. Colors are nowhere as vivid as in good hypnagogic hallucinations or lucid dreams, but they are there. Will continue this.

Also Summertime Yeah!