Author Topic: Every Day is Alice Day  (Read 380427 times)

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #240 on: August 20, 2017, 06:00:03 PM »


inb4 having to stick to schedules is worst punishment already

It's been really hot last week and I got even less things done than normal. Just hanging out in parks and swimming in the Eisbach which is awesome. Tupper was always around but that's just passive forcing. Still complained about all the young athletic people being in better shape than me. Told her she should take over and exercise herself. Doesn't work out so far.

Well at least Alice has made up an active forcing schedule that seems doable. And summer will be over soon which leaves much more time for sitting around with closed eyes. Experimented a bit with lucid dreaming, more precisely the hypnagogic hallucinations before falling asleep and between dream cycles in the morning. But eventually we were both too tired to achieve anything and just wanted to sleep. I'm sure this could yield promising results with some effort.
However, as always there is none
« Last Edit: March 28, 2023, 11:08:22 AM by Nele »

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #241 on: September 03, 2017, 07:01:25 PM »
Welp, it's September. I want summer back!
What even happened in all of August?
Personal development: poor
Felt even more unfocused lately and spent way too much time with useless shit again.

Tupper development: average
Another gud holiday trip with lots of passive forcing. The new method of possession seems to work quite reliably though. Stable but no real progress.

Tupper has complained I am reverting to my old habit of rather talking to myself than to her. Still is completely out while I am lost in thoughts or otherwise occupied with something.
But it appears to get better, at least I partly manage to stick to our active forcing schedule now that the weather has drastically changed. I'll be doing another round of daily updates, that had always been helpful in the past as I'm required to actually do something I can report.

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #242 on: September 04, 2017, 08:06:08 AM »
I see a lot of whining and not enough doing.

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #243 on: September 10, 2017, 09:30:01 PM »

The story of my tulpa diary life

Started daily active forcing sessions, will report from tomorrow on for at least a week. But now I gotta get some sleep.
« Last Edit: March 28, 2023, 11:10:25 AM by Nele »

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #244 on: September 11, 2017, 05:45:00 PM »
Monday, Sept 11

Daytime:
Some passive forcing while outside and exercising, nothing noteworthy

Evening:
45min active forcing in bed. Aided by massive kneading of 2 cats sitting on my chest and legs.
Focused on visualisation, actually only tupper's face. Never done that a lot as she still has no definite form and as there are no templates to rely on it's always a bit difficult. Plus she doesn't want to choose one all by herself which makes things even more difficult. To make it short, visualisation was ridiculously bad. Visualizing certain objects or details of clothes, surfaces ect. works pretty well. But faces doesn't. It got a bit more consistent during the end but still meh. No wonder, can't even imagine when we properly did that last time. Also some intrusive thoughts making Alice move against her will. The hell, I thought we were over that? We managed to get it under control with collaborative efforts but it was more of a struggle than it should be.

TL;DR
List of stuff that needs more practice:
everything

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #245 on: September 12, 2017, 08:07:30 AM »
What if you focus on just one part of the face while ignoring the rest? Really zoom in there.

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #246 on: September 12, 2017, 07:00:02 PM »
Tuesday, Sept12

Daytime:
Tupper was around occasionally at work and helped a bit with cooking dinner, possession was ok.

Evening:
1h of active forcing in bed, again 'supported' by cats. They're nowhere in sight but as soon as I lay down and close my eyes I can hear the cat door opening, lots of purring, followed by cat sitting on me. But it wasn't really distracting.
Things went a bit better than yesterday, I tried to focus on specific parts of Alice's face but as said it's not easy when both don't know how stuff is ideally supposed to look like. Plus my lack of anatomical knowledge isn't helping either. Got decent colors though. This is why I must git gud at drawing. How am I supposed to visualize something I could not even sketch out while looking at it? Will study some reference material for tomorrow's session.
« Last Edit: March 28, 2023, 11:13:25 AM by Nele »

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #247 on: September 13, 2017, 08:35:48 AM »
Anime porn isn't reference material.

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #248 on: September 13, 2017, 10:00:00 PM »
Quote from: Sands
Anime porn isn't reference material.
Of course not as tupper isn't 2D.
Glad we agree on that.
 
Wednesday, Sept 13

Daytime
Got caught a few times talking to myself instead of tupper. But her abilities to intervene are more on-and-off than consistent. Also did some mental math as practice. Really simple elementary school arithmetics. In fact we sort of did it together. Zoning out and letting Alice do the calculations doesn't really work yet. So much for parallel processing - if such thing is even possible. It was unexpectedly exhausting. Felt completely drained after 30min

Evening
Was really tired and briefly fell asleep during the session. Did another so it probably was around 1.5h alltogether but it was more sleeping than forcing. Again just parts of face as far as it was possible.

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #249 on: September 14, 2017, 10:00:00 PM »
Thursday, Sept 14

Daytime
Tried to keep tupper around during lab work but as soon as anyone else interfered I lost her. At least no fuckups due to distraction, in the contrary. Tupper generally makes sure I don't make mistakes and follow the checklists.

Evening
Nada. Met with family, forgot about tupper.
Fuq.



Also:
Some weird dreams lately. Recurring characters are Touhous and German politicians. Don't ask why. I have nothing to do with either of them.
« Last Edit: March 28, 2023, 11:18:56 AM by Nele »

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #250 on: September 15, 2017, 07:16:43 AM »
I told you about the stairs bro.

At least you did something.

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #251 on: September 15, 2017, 07:00:02 PM »
Yes, 'something' is a fitting description.

Friday, Sept 15

Daytime
Managed to keep Alice around at least more than usual.

Evening
Again fell asleep while forcing and did another session after waking up. Still rather chaotic. Tomorrow I will do an active forcing session during the day and see if that's better. The key is doing it when I'm actually not dead-tired.

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #252 on: September 20, 2017, 06:45:01 PM »
Did continue my daily forcing sessions, not my fault I could not post about 'em. Good to see we're back!

Nothing extraordinary happened but it appears tupper is getting better at controlling the body. And stopping me from doing or buying stupid stuff. Not just scolding me like usual

which sadly is only semi-effective but actually making me not want to do stuff. Hard to describe, it's like the opposite of those waves of emotions tuppers sometimes induce. Simply annihilating a present emotion. It's working astonishingly well yet has some serious side-effects as everything seems to be affected. Meaning it kills pretty much all motivation.

So we gotta work on that. And Alice's attitude in general. There's lots of stuff she doesn't like / want me to do but little that makes her happy.
I mean she has developed lots of plans and schedules for me but it's a list of chores, not something I would consider a dream for her to pursue.
« Last Edit: March 28, 2023, 11:20:51 AM by Nele »

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #253 on: September 21, 2017, 06:04:02 AM »
Maybe she would be easier to please if you always weren't so lazy and stood her up when you planned to do something but then forgot or something?!

Have a cooking and baking date. And then eat. Possession should probably be included if she's getting better at it.

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #254 on: September 24, 2017, 03:00:02 PM »
Ah, that's for sure.
It's not like I don't give her plenty of reasons to be angry.
On the other hand, by tupper's design her standards are beyond anything reachable to mortal man. Not meant as an excuse but just how it is.

Today was election day in Germany.
Tupper filled out the ballot, quite pleased with the results. Now celebrating by making pizza with Alice. Will report how it went.