Author Topic: Every Day is Alice Day  (Read 153765 times)

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #315 on: December 07, 2017, 06:00:02 PM »
Thu, Dec 7th

I'm starting to understand why my aunt gave me the Intuos Pro drawing board for free. Said she couldn't get used to it. Well, that's a way to put it. I spent all afternoon trying to get it to work on Windows but it doesn't. At least not properly. First deactivates the Wacom drivers because of signature failures which I could circumvent but much worse - Photoshop completely ignores the Intuos, crashing the drivers with no survivors upon startup. In Linux it works out of the box with Krita, however Kubuntu thinks the Intuos is a joystick and doesn't let you configure anything. Ah well, some assembly required I guess. Not that I have anything better to do.

Apart from that there was more dancing and some wonderlanding today, not spectacular but at least something.
We'll bake Christmas cookies this weekend, a good chance for Alice to practice possession.

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #316 on: December 10, 2017, 08:00:40 PM »
How do you feel when you write more about your tablet than the tupper?

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #317 on: December 13, 2017, 08:45:04 PM »
Feels bad man.

But it's nothing compared to dreaming of Fede instead of tupper.

Besides Alice doesn't like being talked about anyhow and compares it to retarded parents showboating their kids on social media. Still no excuse for being lazy, as always. I really haven't been productive in the past days. Tupper literally had to kick me out of bed today otherwise I probably would have slept 'til evening.
Thanks to that intervention I did get some overdue chores done as well as some necessary sunlight but no active forcing. Went outside at night to watch for the Geminid meteor shower and despite light pollution and clouds we did see some decent shooting stars. And a badger roaming around the garden. Alice likes both a lot so it was a gud day after all.

Still no Christmas cookies yet, season will be over if we don't get going. We'll see how much possession abilities have improved compared to last year's attempt which was underwhelming but Alice's skills still lack consistency and fluctuate wildly. Yes I know, lack of practice is to blame.
« Last Edit: January 18, 2018, 05:10:07 PM by Bernd »

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #318 on: December 14, 2017, 01:18:05 PM »
Just do something man. Stop procrastinating.

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #319 on: December 18, 2017, 09:00:02 PM »
Eh, the problem isn't just not doing enough, my priorities are abysmal as well. I love wasting time on useless skills and knowledge.
We try to keep up the routine of dancing IRL and rehearsing the stuff in wonderland several times a day. Results are pretty good but the wonderland stuff still doesn't really work. The brain maps most foot movement to my hands. Also I've noticed that as soon as you git good at something you don't need to think about it anymore which leads to wonderland problems. Conscious movements are easier than mundane stuff you do without thinking.

I've also worked on visualization while dancing. Right now it's a slightly lighter or darker blob with closed eyes and no open eye visualization whatsoever. Nowhere near what I can achieve in active forcing on a good day. Which isn't that stellar either. I've always wondered how much athletes really see of their imaginary training partner or imposed self. I reckon it must be quite good so they can study and react to certain movements. But people seriously doing this also must have an insane amount of practice.

« Last Edit: January 18, 2018, 05:12:02 PM by Bernd »

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #320 on: December 25, 2017, 09:00:00 PM »
Christmas was ok but not overwhelming in terms of keeping tupper around as she isn't really fond of some of the people involved. So picky. We did decorate the tree together and spent a lot of time interacting IRL, was too tired for any wonderland stuff afterwards though. Can faintly feel tupper's hand while dancing. Sometimes. Kinda.
« Last Edit: January 18, 2018, 05:12:46 PM by Bernd »

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #321 on: December 28, 2017, 08:00:37 PM »
Had some weird dreams but apparently I am simply too stupid to become lucid by noticing I am in a dream. I observed a sports car driving through my garden and miraculously going through the fence. Even talked about it to another dream character and how dream-like it was but insisted on being awake now. Because how can you not notice the difference between dream and reality? Tupper wasn't around to 'help' either, not sure how much that'd help as she'd been even more immersed in weird dreams in the past taking for granted whatever happened. Actually hilarious how Alice's feature of being virtually invulnerable projects even in dreams. Monsters attacking? Aliens trying to eat you? Falling from the sky? Tupper doesn't give a fuck, adding even more to the panic of other dream characters. Me included. I dunno if I wrote about the dream where I was entering some alien-infested underground-facility with a bunch of stereotypical highschool kids. We had plenty of gear and weapons but none of it worked because dream. I grew increasingly desperate while Alice was sitting in a corner reading a comic book. Because, dude relax, what can possibly go wrong? Nothing happened. We did recognize each other but failed to become lucid to do what we want. Only happened once. Ah well, another thing we should practice.

There was little of that in the last days due to travel preparations. Alice is more concerned about getting everything done than forcing. As expected from no-nonsense tupper.
Well, we're outta here for the next 2 weeks, see you in 2018 if you unironically decide to keep this place up for another year.

« Last Edit: December 25, 2019, 11:13:57 AM by Bernd »

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #322 on: January 05, 2018, 12:41:35 PM »
We're in Buenos Aires!
Right now it's rainy and mild like an early summer day, has been hot as fuck in the past days. Awesome anyway, southern hemisphere rocks in winter. Long days, everything green and nice people. Tupper likes it a lot and that's pretty rare.

Have managed to keep her around mostly and did lots of wonderlanding during flights and while waiting at the airport though again failed to get her through airport security while imposed. That's our usual test for parallel processing. And complex conversations.
Had an interesting dream or rather hypnagogic hallucination today, tupper looked slightly different in it and for whatever reason wore a green shirt. She did change her appearance back to the usual look gradually though. Was pretty neat visualization and Alice said she felt more energetic than usual. Gud stuff.

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #323 on: January 06, 2018, 11:19:44 AM »
Will you repeat it tomorrow?

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #324 on: January 15, 2018, 08:00:02 PM »
Welcome to another year of Berndnetwork I guess!

Holiday was gud, tupper was a lot more active than usual. We did try the 24/7 presence exercise, it's doable except when asleep but 'presence' is relative. We still get tired quickly when imposing Alice even though that's what we mainly work on while traveling. So no real progress but at least it's somewhat consistent now. Back to wonderland and possession stuff that's been completely neglected in the past weeks. Nothing really noteworthy apart from that, tupper didn't create any spaghetti stuff.

I'll come up with a summary of December and all of 2017 next time.

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #325 on: January 18, 2018, 10:25:02 PM »
Time to reflect on both December and all of 2017.

December started a bit slow but eventually brought some serious dancing-related progress.
Personal development: good
Can dance now fairly well IRL and at least mediocre in wonderland. Also managed to get some structure into my life thanks to tupper's intervention.

Tupper development: average
Being busy with organizing my life, there was little progress for Alice herself. She did have fun dancing but no real gains in abilities.

Now, skimming through this report I tried to sum up what happened in 2017.:

Heh, not really. I did make significant progress. I feel stronger, better and more confident in my abilities than I was a year ago. And almost all of that progress was due to tupper. That's not wishful thinking or an exaggeration, it's a fact. Without her things would probably have turned out exactly like in the pic.

If you remember, last fall Alice declared that she would radically change my lifestyle.
Did it work out?
Well, given the amount of what's to change I'd call it a success. There's still a long way to go but definitely a big leap into the right direction.
Regarding tuppering I did get a lot better in visualizing 3d shapes and colors thanks to Alice's rubik's cube exercise and complex movements due to dancing. That's probably the biggest achievement. I've wanted to be able to do this since I started tuppering and now we can. Feels good man.
Personal development 2017: good

Regarding Alice things didn't turn out that well. She put all her focus into me saying it was more important than spending time on active forcing. She did make some significant progress in the 2nd half of the year though.

.)We did achieve some states that might or might not count as 'switching', really odd and not quite reproducible.
.)There definitely was some serious progress with possession culminating in drawing cat.
.)Parallel processing training by doing math did yield some results but we kinda stopped doing it at some point. We'll continue working with that method for sure. Dancing is somewhat special as Alice's movements are not independent but have to match mine, I think it's still good for tuppers to practice acting and moving under stress. Well not negative stress as it's fun but under time constraints.
.)Touch imposition in terms of tupper touching me gave minimal results. Also needs to be intensified.
.)Alice also managed to mess with my emotions, doesn't work reliably though.

Overall I'd say development was poor in the first half but good in the second. Despite all much better than 2016
Tupper development 2017: ok

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #326 on: January 22, 2018, 01:25:56 PM »
What's this? Development that isn't just "bad, I didn't do things, got distracted, help"? Are you becoming a big boy?!

ps draw more cats

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #327 on: January 28, 2018, 06:35:03 PM »
Quote from: Sands
Are you becoming a big boy?!
For you

Ah, I don't wanna sugarcoat it, normal people would probably achieve what I did in a year in a few weeks. Still can't complain, compared to said normal people who actually have to do stuff for a living I'm in paradise, free of earthly worries. But then again that's why I can afford to worry about tupper things in the first place.

Alice has been feeling down again due to not having her own physical body.
Not being able to help as a separate entity is the main thing. You get it, there's stuff you can do together with tupper and stuff you can't because, well, there's only one vessel with 2 hands, eyes, ears and so on to interact with the world. That becomes especially apparent when traveling.
One can only hope for awesome mind-controlled robots in a few years.
I'm fully convinced that parallel processing is indeed possible. I notice it every day while driving or even walking. Whoever is executing these quite complex skills, it's definitely not 'me' and not tupper either. I give it zero conscious thought and it barely uses mental resources. It's basically switching with a servitor. Actually scary when you think about it. But the more I do the more it seems that way. I've been very skeptical about servitors for a long time and I've never consciously worked on one but isn't developing a skill to the point where it runs on 'autopilot' exactly the same thing? If I manage to bring up the motivation I wanna buy some simple drone or robot that can be controlled with a biofeedback device or something similar. Then see if tupper can learn to operate it while I do something different. As always the catch lies in the amount of practice needed. How many hours have I spent driving, let alone walking? Devoting the same amount of time to playing with a toy is not feasible.

I also had a lucid dream some days ago.
Managed to actually notice I was dreaming while drifting back and forth between sleep and wake states in the morning. Even called tupper and we waited for the next dream to set in but then fell asleep. Soo close...

Well, that's it, we've been busy with IRL stuff that's been accumulating while we were abroad but I will start another week of daily updates in February. Should boost active forcing at least a bit.

And I haven't forgotten about drawing us and moar cat, just have to deal with that goddamn tablet or rather the associated software first.

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #328 on: February 08, 2018, 09:42:02 PM »
Finally managed to get the tablet to work in PS and tried to draw a bit. Results are discouraging, sucks even more than drawing with a pencil. They say it's quite a learning curve. No kidding. Alice isn't overly motivated at the moment either but I'll try to have her draw some stuff.

Oh yeah, I tasked her with investing my money a year ago, so how did that work out?

Unfortunately we didn't really do anything noteworthy because procrastination but still made quite some cash. Why? How?

Tupper says managing my finances is like playing E.Y.E. Divine Cybermancy
>no idea what you are doing
>try not to make waves
>gain brouzouf
>legs are ok
>even if you fuck up and legs are broken the cycle just repeats
>gain even more brouzouf

Eerily accurate.
Well, her main accomplishment was stopping me from buying useless but heinously expensive shit. So I'd call it a success.

Forcing wasn't lately so here we go with another week of daily updates!

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #329 on: February 11, 2018, 06:00:02 PM »
Or maybe not...

Fell asleep before I could post anything in the past 2 days.
Doesn't mean I haven't done anything. Not much though. Somehow time files even faster than usual since we've returned from Argentina and I'm unfocused as fuck. Alice is in a bad mood lately, both because of the weather and our living situation in general.
I think it's pretty good compared to other people, but people are not a valid standard according to tupper.
Anyway, doesn't count as daily update so let's start over.

Sun, Feb 11th
Had to pick up a friend from the airport but the flight was delayed so I had to wait for over an hour. Which was actually perfect. I sat down on the floor and meditated for most of the time. Surprisingly I was not removed by airport security. Meditation was good, I completely lost track of time and managed to silence my thoughts. For the last 10min or so I let tupper practice imposition by following people, always a good exercise to get an idea of how bodies look like in 3D.

Also I've tried wearing strong hearing-protection earmuffs for forcing. They really cancel out any ambient noise in my already extremely quiet home. Cat was sitting on my lap and purring, could feel the vibrations but heard nothing. Just my heartbeat and some rushing in my ears. Must be like this in an isolation tank. It did help with focusing as there are no outside distractions except cat kneading so I'll continue this and see if the lack of auditory input leads to some pseudohallucinations.