Author Topic: Every Day is Alice Day  (Read 124685 times)

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #375 on: July 05, 2018, 05:00:02 PM »
>when tupper goes over your finances and demonstrates that within the past 10 years you've lost over 200K due to mismanagement and procrastination and wasted another 50K on useless shit.



So far rearranging my life into something more productive has brought quite some success but it's painfully slow. Just like everything. Other stuff hasn't worked out at all. Like Alice complaining I should try to make new friends but then turns down every acquaintance as an unacceptable retard that should be swiftly executed. Or pressing me to find a serious job but can't even remotely name one she'd deem worthy.

We're not picky at all. Not in the least!

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #376 on: July 08, 2018, 05:00:02 PM »
Yet another interesting dream with tupper participation. And boy, did she participate.

Hidden text
It started off harmless, I was visiting a friend from school. We were kids and playing vidya in his huge house which I then went to explore on my own. He had a sort of stable with a full sized elephant and a giraffe and the elephant snatched food from his mother as she was trying to cook in the kitchen. Wat.

Things changed dramatically as I explored more rooms and the setting became a Resident Evil like FPS with zombies and monsters. A shitty FPS with a terrible lag of about 2sec. Apparently everything was now from Alice's perspective although it remained unclear whether it was truly her dream or I was just Alice in my dream. So I'll use 'we' here. One strong indicator of tupper presence was that the whole thing was very much like playing vidya and nothing like a nightmare. Monsters kept coming, we mainly struggled with the shitty control but it wasn't scary. One frequent problem I encounter in dreams is my complete inability to fight. Punches have zero power and no effect. This time it started similar but due to Alice's influence we got the hang of it and after a few strikes with her sword little remained of the opponent. It was also possible to create some decent explosions upon contact but that somehow took several seconds to prepare. Again shitty game mechanics.
Monsters disappeared and were replaced by overly happy scientology tier people that ran around like zombies but did no harm. Entering some kind of war-room lead to a movie-like cut-scene in which we met the perpetrator of the whole incident, an elderly scientist lady and her staff of geneticists. She explained to us that she made these monsters from humans and showed us the process of DNA-recombination and insertion on a big touch-screen table, moving around DNA fragments with her hand. The whole scene was really detailed and could have been from some James Bond movie where the villains go out of their way to explain their elaborate masterplan. Alice and me were two separate beings again and we listened to the sermon because why not. It dawned to me that the whole thing was absolute bullshit and at least partly realized I must be dreaming but it didn't stick. Anyway we were told the monsters would permanently mutate until they'd transform back into human form as the uber-cheerful cultists we had met earlier. This was her plan to create a New World.

Uh-oh, that sounded familiar and was a clear sign to move out of the way...
Indeed Alice calmly responded that she were to create a New World as well and that these idiots would not be part of it, punched out the old lady and killed everyone in a giant explosion. A bit extreme for my taste but effective.

Scenes now randomly changed between Alice's perspective and being separate again. Tupper being tupper immediately began a cleanup operation and started burning the remaining lab equipment which came in piles of gray boxes and other boring items in what was now a crater-ridden ruin.



However creating flames to set the stuff on fire just didn't work. We had a barbecue the day before where the fire wouldn't start as well so that probably ended up in the dream. In the end she had to resort to using gasoline to get the fire started- how humiliating - but even this didn't really do any damage. To make things even worse, people slowly started looting the equipment as soon as you turned your back on them like a bunch of niggers. After some unsuccessful attempts to shoo them away Alice set one guy on fire and this time it worked really well turning him into a torch like one of these self-immolating Tibetan monks. She did however 'repair' him after he learned his lesson by placing her hand on his head which turned him from crispy chicken back to normal. To be a bit more constructive she also healed some elderly man that seemed lost but he was like not sure if want and still remained very confused. At some point amidst trying to get rid of the seemingly indestructible boxes I finally woke up.
Wew, that was weird. I'm glad such amount of fighting and violence is very rare. Usually my dreams are really tame.
« Last Edit: July 08, 2018, 05:42:54 PM by Bernd »

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #377 on: July 15, 2018, 05:00:02 PM »
No real progress to report.
Alice still goes inactive in most demanding situations that require my full attention, which annoys both of us afterwards. One interesting observation is that even though it's said that tuppers gradually deviate from their hosts, I feel more like I strongly deviated towards tupper. Which has both positive and negative implications on my life.

Good:
I've become physically and mentally stronger, far less afraid and generally don't give a fuck while at the same time am much more focused on displaying a flawlessly correct behavior. Not for others but for myself.

Bad:
I definitely have become more tupper-like including a feeling of disconnectedness from the body's senses. Everything feels less real and more like a dream. Kind of how I imagine a tulpa experiences the world. Not sure how to deal with this yet, I certainly don't like it. Especially as Alice has not managed to fill my place in the same way.



Though we've become more similar, tupper still has a strong mind of her own and a lot of different opinions and it's kind of fun to argue with her. Every now and then some slight doubts about her autonomy creep in, but not for long when tupper is just nope.jpg

So generally we're good though there still is a lot of stuff that needs to be fixed. More than I want to realize.

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #378 on: July 16, 2018, 11:49:03 AM »
Just like how a tupper has to immerse themselves in the body's senses, you gotta do the same when you possess. Relearn if you forgot you dumdum.

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #379 on: July 18, 2018, 05:00:02 PM »
Yeah great!
That's the kind of stuff they don't tell you in the guides.


Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #380 on: July 24, 2018, 05:00:03 PM »
Wew, that pic is more exploitable than I had anticipated. I present - every tupper story in a nutshell



Anyway, Forum's back up, time to start another week of daily updates.

Tue, Jul24th
Alice succesfully kept me from buying unnecessary expensive stuff I neither need nor really want but that's still kinda cool. Lots of eerily realistic nagging and complaining and finally simply pushing me along and making me forget the whole thing. Can't say tupper is not realistic. Good job!

30min of meditation in the park, was mediocre. Still lots of intrusive thoughts from issue above. Feel calmer now so off for some wonderland stuff, we haven't really done anything there in a while. I want to work on the whole re-immersion stuff and see if both me and Alice can increase sensations in the coming days.

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #381 on: July 25, 2018, 05:00:02 PM »
Wed, Jul25th
Fell asleep soon, not much wonderland stuff.

Went swimming today, water in the Eisbach lived up to its name, cold but refreshing. Managed to keep Alice around, was fun. Still sucks I have to practice immersion / mindfulness for myself instead of tupper. Practiced imposition of Alice walking up and down stairs, imagining which foot steps on which stair is more difficult than I thought.

30min of dancing in the evening with focus on Alice's hands, still nothing more than the faintest touch imposition in the best moments. Couldn't get myself to any closed-eye stuff in the marvelous weather, I'll try now before going to sleep but expect similar results as yesterday.

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #382 on: July 26, 2018, 05:00:02 PM »
Thu, Jul26th
Wonderland stuff didn't go too well due to intrusive thoughts.
The tiger tried to eat Alice and strangely morphed its form. It's one of the semi-sentient wonderland creatures and it managed to communicate that it wasn't doing that on purpose. Tupper took it well and even thanked the tiger from bearing intrusive thoughts that might otherwise affect her as well. Just weird stuff. Shouldn't put off active forcing to the end of a busy schedule.

Not much else today, we try to pay more attention to sensations like showering, eating or basking in the sun. But as soon as something else crosses my mind I'm often out just like tupper.

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #383 on: July 28, 2018, 05:00:02 PM »
Didn't make it yesterday so here's 2 updates

Fri, Jul27th
Went to Berchtesgaden to watch the Lunar Eclipse with my grandparents - and Alice of course. Was a nice experience though not as special as a solar eclipse. Managed to keep Alice around most of the time even while talking and eating with grandparents all evening. Wet to sleep afterwards so no active forcing today

Sat, Jul28th
I'll be hiking in the alps ‘til Monday so no daily updates but hopefully lots of forcing. Tupper did her best navigating, as she can't look at a map it was basically memorizing the way beforehand and rehearsing it while I was driving. Really exhausting but at least some sort of parallel processing. Fuck navigation devices that make you dumb, we drive by memory. Worked except for one small detour. Still kept rather talking / thinking to myself than to tupper in between. was scolded.


Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #384 on: July 30, 2018, 05:00:02 PM »
Hiking was good.
Being alone in the middle of nowhere is a good opportunity to talk to Alice aloud and have her answer in mindvoice.
I found a beautiful alpine creek with small waterfalls and we stayed there for almost a day listening to the water and meditating as well as swimming - naked.



The water did produce some auditory hallucinations of other people speaking in the distance but utilizing it for Alice's voice didn't really yield any results. So again no spectacular progress but a nice trip with a decent amount of forcing. 

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #385 on: July 31, 2018, 03:17:35 PM »
When will you two sing a duet?

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #386 on: August 05, 2018, 05:00:21 PM »
But we do, frequently!

It's still hot but better than in most of Europe. Not that I'm complaining. We like summer.
Alice has put on some tan which does look nice even with her otherwise nordic features. Could pass as blonde Italian.

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #387 on: August 10, 2018, 05:00:03 PM »
Bad news, well not actually news.
Alice is really, I mean REALLY pissed and for once it's not primarily my fault.
A while ago some large gypsy family with small children moved in across the street and - surprise - they're making an unbelievable amount of noise day and night.



On top of that one of the children has tupper's real name. Well a variety of it but I assure you, this is not taken well. 'Alice' highly values her name which is not to be used carelessly, let alone by a bunch of subhumans that can't behave.

So, to make things short, after a phase of plotting to kill 'em all and wear the child's skin for a month, tupper has come to the conclusion that it's not them but us who are at the wrong place. So we have to move.
Actually she was never fond of my home so this was basically the final straw. Alice can't and won't take it anymore, blocking me out from forcing activities until something is done. She had been pushing me to move for a while, due to other neighborhood plebs but I was always like "this is fine", it'll go by. Fact is I love my home. The location is pretty much surreal, neighborhood is beautiful green Munich suburbs, it's pretty much perfect and even highly affordable. Tupper wouldn't disagree about that. It's just about the people. They're still harmless but I have to agree, quality of life has suffered considerably lately. It's nowhere like when I started tuppering 3 years ago. Where did the Good Old Days go?

Oh well, it's still my fault Alice is angry because another fact is we can't afford to buy a house in one of Europe's most expensive real estate areas just out of a whim. Now look at the first post on this page and you'll get why tupper is mad at me. But also at herself thinking we haven't achieved anything in those past 3 years. I'd disagree but it probably wasn't enough.

Soo, what to do...
Alice has decided fun times are over. For good. No more wasting time with being lazy, no more wasting money on fancy stuff. Giving the whole drama was her idea I also put her in charge of finding a solution. So tupper is now studying to become a real estate agent. My real estate agent and find us some affordable - additional - home as there's no way I'm gonna give up the place I live in now anytime soon. But having another apartment sounds like a viable idea and is probably a good investment too. Let's see what tupper is really capable of.
« Last Edit: October 16, 2018, 04:32:55 PM by Bernd »

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #388 on: August 20, 2018, 05:00:02 PM »
Things have calmed down a bit. Most troublemakers seem to be on holidays so it's relatively quiet.
After briefly going 'I can't do this, I'm just a little girl, that's way too much pressure', tupper got herself together and made me visit a few potential apartments, checking out the neighbourhood and getting a rough idea about the whole thing. Results were - discouraging.
Changing strategy, Alice correctly noted that most stuff I started went wrong because despite all planning I just did it on my own without consulting others or even getting professional help. Which we definitely need. In many ways. Unfortunately professionals don't tend to help you for free and tupper is even more of a cheapskate than me. I admit it's both interesting and scary to watch this play out but we'll learn something from the whole issue for sure. I hope.
I mean, it's an absolute luxury problem and I'm very grateful I have no bigger worries but still life hasn't exactly been fun lately. For me. For tupper, living in a different world with her own standards, it's outright horrifying. There's no quick solution so all I can do for now is to acknowledge that she's right and that still many things have to change. She's already done a lot I would never have bothered to accomplish on my own. But I guess I'm in for a lot more. Not that I'm complaining. Yet this has brought up many differences between us. I never had worries that Alice would be too codependent or unable to voice her own opinions. Boy, she does. Most are absolutely reasonable as well.
« Last Edit: August 20, 2018, 06:14:48 PM by Bernd »

Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« Reply #389 on: September 05, 2018, 05:00:02 PM »
Updated some old image links, all should work now.
Things have indeed quieted down in the neighborhood but Alice is still set on buying an apartment though she's acknowledged this needs careful planning and a lot of time.