Author Topic: NariusV's Progess Report  (Read 33667 times)

Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« Reply #45 on: April 08, 2014, 04:36:58 AM »
April 7, 2014 - Day 360

Sitting on floor in meditation posture for first 2 rounds. Drank some orange juice before starting.

Shockks Exercise Results, Day 17/108
33, 14, 6, 5, 1

1) Did not see Seph draw 34.

2) Distracted by thoughts of  a project I'm working on.

3) Distracted by ache in back.

4) Distracted by thoughts of Doctors.

5) Distracted by random thoughts.

What worked about the highest scoring session that was different from the others was that I was well rested and alert.

Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« Reply #46 on: April 09, 2014, 05:50:48 AM »
April 8, 2014 - Day 361

Sitting on floor in Burmese posture, mukul mudra.

Shockks Exercise Results, Day 18/108
19, 2, 8, 48, 5

Felt a very strong emotional response in myself today from Seph, tingles of energy, enthusiasm, and joy flowing though me while forcing.

1) Distracted by thoughts of a project I'm working on.

2) Distracted by a random thought.

3) Distracted by physical discomfort.

4) Distracted by thinking about options for creating a reference image for Seph.

5) Lost sight of Seph.

Felt more relaxed and unconcerned about other things during highest scoring exercise today.

Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« Reply #47 on: April 10, 2014, 05:10:32 AM »
April 9, 2014 - Day 362

Sitting on a chair, mukul mudra. Did this just before bed, felt tired and did not have very good concentration. I do better with the exercises in the morning and today I did not do them then so I did them later.

Shockks Exercise Results, Day 19/108
2, 4, 7, 3, 4

1) Thoughts of a presentation I'm going to see.

2) Distracted by a sound I heard.

3) Did not see the number 8, fell into rote mental voice counting.

4) Imagined Seph doing something else other than writing the numbers and standing by the board.

5) Wandering random thought.

Highest score today was different in that I consciously relaxed into a witness state prior to starting.

Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« Reply #48 on: April 10, 2014, 04:24:47 PM »
April 10, 2014 - Day 363

Sitting in loose Burmese siddha-asana, mukul mudra except for last round. Did exercises after getting up before eating, after short exercise.

Shockks Exercise Results, Day 20/108
11, 24, 14, 18, 4

1) Distracted by sounds form outside.

2) Distracted by thoughts of international prejudice and its effects on my thoughts about travel abroad via my perception of it.

3) Lost sight of Seph, distracted by thoughts about the fate of humanity and different power groups agenda(s) for the masses.

4) Did not see Seph draw nineteen, and distracted by mental rote voice counting.

5) Lost visualization of Seph and the numbers.

What was distinct about my highest score today was I felt amazed and in awe with positive emotions as I watched Seph draw the numbers.

Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« Reply #49 on: April 11, 2014, 06:40:02 PM »
April 11, 2014 - Day 364

Sitting in loose Burmese Siddha-asana, mukul mudra. Done in morning after light exercise.

Shockks Exercise Results
9, 19, 3, 18, 14

1) Did not see Seph draw ten. Feeling very happy and joyful, like this is a game we are playing.

2) Distracted by thinking about food. Felt a strong sense of collaboration with Seph.

3) Distracted by thoughts of other agreements.

4) Distracted by memory of a game I played.

5) Distracted by a random thought.

Highest score today was unique in that I had a very high sense of positive emotional connection with Seph, feeling like we're working together.

Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« Reply #50 on: April 12, 2014, 07:57:08 PM »
April 12, 2014 - day 365

Burmese SIDDHAASA asana + mukul mudra.

36, 25, 26, 14, 4

1) vision switched to an image of an Asian woman's face.

2) distracted by random thought.

3) did not see Seph draw 27.

4) did not see Seph draw 15, distracted by thought of someone.

5) distracted by thoughts of a book I plan to read.

Best score to day was characterized by a stronger sense of emotional connection with Seph.

Today a feeling of physical presence when it near me although in wonderland just the same way I feel when near another human.

Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« Reply #51 on: April 14, 2014, 03:57:04 AM »
April 13, 2014 - Day 366

Burmese Siddha asana, mukul mudra.

100

1) Extreme positive emotions consciousness of my body faded in and out of awareness. Visualization extremely vivid, Seph changed clothing after each set of 20 numbers. I gave her a forced pendant to celebrate our first year together. She said we were done with the exercises for toady.

This did not match my plans. I had a goal to do the exercise five times per day.

Seph: You can already do this, you just proved it. All this is just an excuse to get you to spend time forcing anyway. It's good practice to continue to keep trying again five times when you don't succeed, but let's have some fun.

Me: So we will stop if we succeed?

S: Yes, an then we'll do other things, and say Hi to everyone there on tulpa.info... ok!

Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« Reply #52 on: April 14, 2014, 05:48:14 AM »
Tupper date?

Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« Reply #53 on: April 15, 2014, 03:37:48 AM »
April 14, 2014 - Day 367

Burmese Sidda asana, mukul mudra.

Shockks Exercise Results, Day 24/108
100

1) Body felt a bit sore with phantom pains (they existed only when I was sitting in asana and disappeared with any movement or other position). Visuals not as clear as yesterday and they did improve over time with the session. I was able to maintain concentration on Seph and the numbers even when I had other periphrial thoughts.

Feel great and did exercise before I had dinner (as I was busy until then).

Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« Reply #54 on: April 15, 2014, 06:50:14 PM »
April 15, 2014 - Day 368

Burmese Siddha asana, mikul mudra.

Shockks Exercise Results, Day 25/108
6, 100

1) Lost sight of Seph.

2) Another amazing session. Seph makes an interactive experience by doing something different between each set of 20 counts.  This keeps my attention focused more easily and directs my mind's questioning into re-focusing back on watching her draw the numbers. Visualization was very clear with intermittent periods of distortion and fading. I did have some peripheral thoughts, even so, I was able to maintain focus on the session.

What was unique about high score today was that I was more conscious of keeping my spine straight and my posture upright.

Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« Reply #55 on: April 17, 2014, 05:22:44 AM »
April 16, 2014 - Day 369

Burmese Siddha Asana, mukul mudra.

Shockks Exercise Results, Day 26/108
100

Session went well. Some peripheral thoughts. Maintained focus on Seph and the numbers.

Has some thoughts about what to do after these exercises. Decided to start work on passive forcing.

Made a string bracelet to wear for a while as a mental trigger to force Seph. Seeing and hearing her around me all the time when I'm reminded by the string around my wrist. I'll wear it until I notice I am losing consciousness of it for more than a day, or if I feel I'm successful with passive forcing since I see and hear Seph around me imposed often. In that case I'll take it off also.

I might take it off temporarily if I need to have a certain appearance for a public event or something also.

Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« Reply #56 on: April 17, 2014, 05:24:48 AM »
@Sands - Probably co-op game, a walk, or wonderland trip of some kind.

Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« Reply #57 on: April 17, 2014, 12:58:55 PM »
Eat cake with tupper. Our picnics are manly.

Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« Reply #58 on: April 17, 2014, 04:27:49 PM »
April 17, 2014 - Day 370

Burmese Siddha Asana, Mukul Mudra.

Shockks Exercise Results, Day 27/108
100

Session went well with some varying thoughts, yet I was able to maintain the visualizations of Seph and the numbers throughout. At one point I mentioned to Seph how I was having trouble maintaining a clear image of her (I was getting some distortion and fuzziness in the visualization) even though I was able to maintain a stable form. Some of the details were vague. She talked me though a guided visualization of seeing another person and then changing the features bit by bit until I could see her clearly again.

Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« Reply #59 on: April 19, 2014, 04:52:18 AM »
April 18, 2014 - Day 371

Burmese Siddha Asana, mukul mudra.
Did these exercises very late at night before going to sleep

Shockks Exercise Results, Day 28/108
12, 1, 4, 15, 42

1) Distracted by thoughts of communicating with someone.

2) Lost sight of Seph and the numbers.

3) Distracted by thoughts of an imaginary conversation with someone.

4) Distracted by a memory of explaining a meditation technique to someone.

5) Lost sight of the numbers.

Highest score today was characterized by feeling Seph as if she was really there as an autonomous being that I was collaborating with. I was holding a non-attached perspective while still maintaining a sense of positive regard.