Author Topic: RoF's Progress on Tulpas  (Read 16284 times)

RailOfFire

Rail's Progress on Tulpas
« Reply #15 on: October 14, 2014, 06:52:44 PM »
[IMP] -


9/7/2014 (Sunday) - Went over the personality traits I remember again today.
I'll probably end up going over the complete version tomorrow.
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Also, something to note, using the State would be helpful.
If I can visualize him clearly, even with using Hypnagogia, it's worth trying; hopefully means I'm doing something right.

9/8/2014 (Monday) - Not much besides a long talk with Probitas.
I was having issues on deciding what to narrate to him and/or what to force with him, but in the end I ended up having a somewhat thirty minute to an hour long conversation with Probitas.
Most of the conversation was simply of how I don't support things such as sex slavery or slavery in general, and how I'd at least try to be the best host I can, or at least one that would be decent.
Upon actually pondering this, I'm not sure this was the best idea; after all, it might shock him greatly when given so much information about what people do to tulpas, even if I may have not channeled to him very well.
I suppose he's not sentient enough to understand me anyways, but I might as well treat him as if he is; after all, expectation is everything.
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With other news, I've got a small portion of the Log fixed today; not very much done today on the Log.
I hope to finish it by Friday or by next Sunday.

9/9/2014 (Tuesday) - Minimal attention shown, aside from narrating.
Haven't done any Hypnagogia lately, either; I"ll see if I can try to do some tomorrow.
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Continued visualization problems. If you know any visualization techniques, please alert me; I've been having issues since day one.
Takes about a minute to five minutes to actually visualize him decently; upon first visualization, he'll be missing a leg or certain limbs will be longer than others, as I can't seem to remember what he looks like immediately.
I've seen posts about this on .info, so I'll be looking through the threads.
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I've decided to puppet Probitas for a day, tomorrow.
I'll be trying to visualize him moving and/or in different positions so that I can visualize him correctly when he's moving.
After counting (done today), 47 days have passed.
This seems more than enough time for me to visualize him actually moving; as in, moving into different rooms, walking towards a certain area, etc.
For 47 days, he's been in a sort of "hibernation" state, where he's only been in one position or two the entire time, and that would be to be laying down.
I have read before that it's a good idea to puppet at the beginning to get them to start moving.
I don't know if it's far too late to do so and if I should hope for the best, or if I should take action, but I need to make sure he's okay.
At this point, I'm back at the stage where I'm unsure if he's an actual tupla or just a stable thought in my mind, something I need to get out of immediately; doubts kill tulpas, a fact, that is.

9/10/2014 (Wednesday) - Strange behavior upon puppeting today.
As I tried to puppet (a common form of "boosting" the tulpa's movement), he didn't seem to move, but rather produce another form of himself.
When giving a slight amount of force, a slightly smaller, "spirit-like" figure of himself emerged.
This figure would act just as if Probitas expectedly might; not flying freely as a ragdoll, but able to be moved normally around.
The best way I could explain this would be of "accidentally cloning my tulpa".
It's not the best way that I could explain it, but it's there.
Earlier today I asked Probitas to surprise me, but I'm not sure he would do this.
The last thing I need is for him to have identification issues with himself.
-
I'll be trying this again tomorrow, maybe even on Friday.
This may have been a kickstart, but I need to find out more.
I've no clue of what this could be.

Note; Able to make "newer versions of" Probitas; if anything, clones of.
Puppeting Probitas doesn't work, unless a great amount of force is upheld.

9/11/2014 (Thursday) - Tried testing on Probitas once more.
Rather than a spirit-like figure, almost an exact version of Probitas was made upon puppeting.
While Probitas would be laying/sleeping, the other (so-called "clone") would be standing, moving upon command.
It doesn't seem like puppeting anymore, but rather like creating another whole tulpa alone.
Rather than one being moving, two'd be present at the same time.
When I leave and reconnect to the Wonderland, he'd be back at where he's been for the past 40 or 50 days.
Going to be looking at this somewhat "phenomenon" tomorrow.

Note; "Clones" seem to disappear and/or dissipate after leaving, almost like creating a new whole tulpa.
If I were to actually give it personality traits or some sort of thought into them, I'd imagine I'd be creating a whole new tulpa.

9/12/2014 (Friday) - Final time I've tried to force with Probitas.
Upon puppeting, multiple forms of him'd be posed at certain angles or areas of the Wonderland, such as when I've been trying to visualize him.
I can see all of the different sorts of "forms" of Probitas made about a month ago or so.
Multiple "clones" of him'd be posed at different areas, about 20 or 30 in all.
Same rules apply; upon reconnect to the Wonderland, only the original would be present.
I'd like to believe that I'm simply just remembering different poses and areas used for visualization practice, but I'm not sure it'd be that.
In fact, if anything, I have a theory about this; the tulpa I've had for about 50 days now, Probitas, has been a fake all along.
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I don't mean as in an unstable being in the mind like I've thought for a while now, but more so a part of the Wonderland its-self.
Upon the creation process, I must have merged Probitas in with the Wonderland unknowingly, which would explain why I haven't gotten any response since I created him.
I'd imagine that he merged shortly after the creation process, without me separating him, as during the creation process I could see him breathing and even feel warmth across his body.
Once an hour or so passed (or even so, the next day), no breathing could be seen and, although I've never thought to feel his body again, no warmth seems to be coming from him.
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Now, although somebody I reported this to pointed out that they don't need oxygen, that's not quite what I mean; when I had created Probitas, I had given him his vital and non-vital organs.
His systems such as the respiratory, skeleton, and even the nervous system were all intact.
I could even, if I tried to, see all of his blood and organs, as this was a technique used that implied to "add life to the tulpa".
Although they don't need to, if they wanted to they'd be able to breathe, but nevertheless I should feel warmth from him like I did at the start.
Overall I'm guessing that he had merged in with the background/Wonderland without me meaning to switch him.
I may have to restart on him, mostly if not completely.
Hopefully one of the worst days of my tulpamancing career has passed.

9/13/2014 (Saturday) - I've noticed Probitas has been turning more of a darker color than usual today; most likely because I expect him to, if not, "blend in" with the background.
I'm going to have to cut him out of the background soon, and most likely restart on a new tulpa.
I don't know whether or not I'll call him Probitas, or something else yet at the moment; nor do I know whether or not to change personality traits, etc.
I'll just have to hope for the best, and see what comes my way.
« Last Edit: October 17, 2014, 06:26:10 AM by RailOfFire »

RailOfFire

Rail's Progress on Tulpas
« Reply #16 on: October 14, 2014, 06:56:57 PM »
9/14/2014 (Sunday) - I've done it; Probitas is nowhere to be seen in my Wonderland.
In some sort of form, I've cut him out of the Wonderland now, and I suppose I'll just have to wait for him to dissipate, unfortunately.
My theory is that the Wonderland was a sort of tulpa in a way, being connected to him and all.
Although unintentional, they were connected vitally.
I personally think the only problem with that theory is that it would mean that possibly, by separating, I've separated two tulpas; the Wonderland being one.
I'll have to pay no attention to Probitas anymore unfortunately, and think about what I'm going to have to do for the next one.
Hopefully he'll turn out better than the last one, and hope that I'll be a better host all in all.

Note; Most, if not all traces of Probitas has been cleared from my mind, or at least the forcing grounds (known as the Wonderland).

9/15/2014 (Monday) - I've decided to allow everything about him to be fully decided by him, but I'm still going to be providing a basic layout of personality traits for him to develop on, as suggested.
I'll also make sure that the Wonderland is fully developed, or at least ready for him to use by the time we begin Creation.
I hope to be forcing with him soon, whoever (s)he'll be.
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Date to begin projected to about 9/20 or 9/21/2014, up to 10/1 or 10/2/2014.

9/16/2014 (Tuesday) - Not very much done today, due to scheduled events.
I've actually decided to change the base form to a fox, though (so (s)he has something to start off of).
I'll be doing what's been suggested instead of what I did previously; I'll be asking him what he'd like to be, otherwise I'll have to change to a base name or sex if I don't get any signs to choose a specific name or gender.
I hope I'll be able to get some research in before I'll be ready to begin.

9/17/2014 (Wednesday) - I haven't gotten to actually researching yet, but I was able to ask the people on the IRC for advice; here's the link to the pastebin.
I've gotten some really nice advice from them, and I'm happy I decided to turn on the Chat.
The last time I've been on the IRC was about a month or two ago.
-
Really nice advice, referring to the fact that I've built up a mental block, being the main cause of Probitas being deceased right now.
Symbolically reviving him might be a good idea like they suggested, but how I'll do it is beyond me.

9/18/2014 (Thursday) - I'm back on the IRC again asking for advice, getting the same results from yesterday.
Tomorrow I'll be trying to polish my Wonderland to get ready for Creation process.
Adding symbolism may be a good idea.
I'd also like to continue research, knowing the most I can may be the best idea at this point.

9/19/2014 (Friday) - General research done, nothing significant.
Although I have noticed recently that, over Probitas' "life span", I never managed to use a "tulpatone" or any other binural tones.
I'll try to use one during Creation process, or before Creation process to see whether or not it'll help me.
-
Still at a debate whether or not to symbolically revive Probitas, like the IRC suggested.
Note; Be prepared to use more symbolism, as well as to research symbolism.

9/20/2014 (Saturday) - Today was nothing special at all; if anything, I just got my binural tones as well as the headphones ready.
I'll probably be changing some details in his personality traits from Probitas, although if anything, slight.
Most if anything will be sort of "debuffs", but more of things that make him seem realistic, rather than some type of "Mary Sue"-like character.
I've also straightened out the Wonderland, per se; if anything, I've just heightened the details of the Wonderland and/or made it less detailed in areas it didn't need to be, so that it would be relatively easy for me to remember and to visualize in.
I'm also going to be creating a field out back of the cabin, as the cabin seemed to be a terrible idea; not absolutely horrible, but just enough to make it hard to visualize in.
The cabin'll be something like an add-on or back part of the Wonderland, while the main part I believe will be the field (or at least, the one I'll be spending much time in).
This is based on from what I've seen other people doing, as others have found it fairly easy to visualize and force in.
Also, something to note, I'll be trying to make a sketch of the wonderland either tomorrow or on Monday for future reference.
« Last Edit: October 14, 2014, 07:02:04 PM by RailOfFire »

RailOfFire

Rail's Progress on Tulpas
« Reply #17 on: October 14, 2014, 06:57:25 PM »
9/21/2014 (Sunday) - Not much of anything done today, today was more of a preparation day if anything. Expended Wonderland a bit and increased the details of it in some areas. Field unofficially created, as well as expanded the abandoned "Hall of Memories" project from Doughnut. I'll have to update that officially soon, something to keep note of.

9/22/2014 (Monday) - Yet another unimportant day to me. I haven't even began to start directly on him, as I've been occupied each day since.
Absolutely no progress done today.

9/23/2014 (Tuesday) - I've had music to do today, with my schedule being fully occupied at the moment.
Things like this is what worries me, for it shows I may be doing the same once I create a tulpa.
Note; It's important to find time to work on him; I can't simply leave him in the dust.

9/24/2014 (Wednesday) - Issues in the family today.
I've not got a stable friendly relationship with my family, so this is to be expected.
To take up creation time, however, isn't something I look forward to.
If I am to begin creations, tomorrow is the deadline, without hesitation.

9/25/2014 (Thursday) - I've worked a bit on his personality traits today.
I've decided to add the Big Five personality traits to the list as well (because, as we all know, when making a tulpa, following reality is always the best decision to make).
This is, with the exception of "Extraversion", as I'd like to allow him to develop that on his own.
I'm actually really glad about this, concidering that I've been having a hard time actually giving him "negative" traits like I'm supposed to, even if they're aimed to develop on their own.
For a while now I've been contemplating making only a few negative traits and allowing others to form naturally along his personality, and I think that is what I'm going to stick with for now.
Here is what I've got so far.
Note; Personality list should be done by the end of the week, if not next week.

9/26/2014 (Friday) - Updated personality trait list, located here.
I added a few other "negative" traits, and I believe that should be about it for now; I'd really like to make sure that he deviates to the way he would like, and not towards a preset I've set myself.

9/27/2014 (Saturday) Nothing at all fairly important today, let alone exciting.
Today I've more of rested, even if I've been harping on myself about needing to work on my tulpa; I'm a hypocrite, if anything.
« Last Edit: October 14, 2014, 07:02:13 PM by RailOfFire »

RailOfFire

Rail's Progress on Tulpas
« Reply #18 on: October 14, 2014, 06:57:49 PM »
[IMP] -


9/28/2014 (Sunday) - Final update on his personality trait list, located here.
Added final touches to the descriptions of the traits.
I've also finally finished adding in the Hall of Memories idea from Doughnut.
Seems the idea isn't as hard as I proposed it to be; the difficult part was trying to find a place to put the Hall.
I decided on making a door to a new basement area, which, within the basement area, would contain a door to the Hall.
The door at the end of the Hall is a simple blank room that I haven't decided on what to do with yet.
It may end up becoming storage space in the end.
-
I'm also going to, one day or another, have to sketch a trace of the Wonderland.
I'll make sure to place it here.

9/29/2014 (Monday) - Nothing important done today, or even relatively important.

9/30/2014 (Tuesday) - Yet again, another day of no progress.
It makes me sad to say this, but I really have had no progress whatsoever these past two days.
Tomorrow is Creation day.

10/1/2014 (Wednesday) - Base form of which will be an artic fox, very similar to Probitas' form to be honest.
Same layout of organs, et cetera; if anything, detail will be minor at first.
Here's a simple layout of his organs, teeth, skeletal structure, and other miscellaneous things; numbers one, two, three, and four.
The most simple way to put this is to say that "it's happening, guys".
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10:31 PM (Wednesday) - I'm getting up from my studies and from doing the progress log now to begin Creation process.
If anything, it may happen as late as 11:30 PM or even up to 2:00 AM.
Either way, "it's happening".

10/2/2014 (Thursday) - I fell asleep, unfortunately.
Will be trying again today. very necessary to start and finish today or tomorrow.
I've also sorted all personality traits into a personality table (sorted by the Big Five), here.

10/3/2014 (Friday) - Finally starting at 8:21 PM.
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9:56 PM (Friday) - First of all, I'm very sorry towards "Friend".
The session was going very well - I had meditated for a decent while and then I started to lose him.
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We had gotten past symbolizing him, et cetera; but it's my fault for me losing him.
At the last minute, I had decided to make him an orb of light, to make sure that I wouldn't have such difficulty forcing or visualizing him at first; I had to call him a universal name of "Friend", since he would not give me a "valid name" - it was the first default name I could think of besides something offensive (such as, "Tulpa001").
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After asking him to repeat three times, I got the answer of "Charlie" all three times; mixed in with multiple different generated responses, making it difficult to tell if it was him or my brain generating the responses.
After so, I cleared my thoughts of all responses and asked him to repeat the name again, this time getting a different name, of "Johnny".
The next five times of repeating he either gave me a different name, the same name, or no name at all; where I couldn't tell what name he was trying to give me.
On the last try, all he was giving me was random letters, almost as if randomizing; I finally gave up on trying to understand his tulpish.
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I'll try to clear my mental block and try again, some time else.
It pains me to cast him aside, but I must.

10/4/2014 (Saturday) - Trying to find a way of ridding my mental block the best I can.
I obviously can't rid of them in a single day, which is what worries me; I won't be able to begin Creation for a while, now.

Monthly Notes

[=-=]
« Last Edit: October 14, 2014, 07:02:22 PM by RailOfFire »

RailOfFire

Rail's Progress on Tulpas
« Reply #19 on: October 14, 2014, 06:58:18 PM »
10/5/2014 (Sunday) - Still trying to rid of my mental blocks, or at least "preparing" to.
If the environment around me does not settle, then I may never be able to begin Creation, or at least in this year.

10/6/2014 (Monday) - Yet again another day to rid of the mental blocks, or at least trying to settle them.
An article like this may come to mind.

10/7/2014 (Tuesday) - I'm going to have to stay off of doing anything related to tulpamancing for a few days if not a week.
If it gets to the point of where I won't be able to update this report, I'll list it here.
-
On an unrelated side note, the Progress Report hit 1,000 views today.

10/8/2014 (Wednesday) - I've been trying to sort out my problems in "real" life today; to be honest, I feel much better.
I, of course, don't believe that my mental block is fully gone - as, I'm not quite sure of how to technically "remove" the mental block.
I have, however, been changing what I do, starting out slow with getting more sleep and moving on with my life in other areas.
Depression may have a point in causing this, to be honest.

10/9/2014 (Thursday) - Avoiding it the best I can.
Going to be waiting until Saturday to begin forcing.

10/10/2014 (Friday) - Just waiting until Saturday.
It's important to note, I've been trying to calm my environment some, and have moved on with my life (concerning other things).

10/11/2014 (Saturday) - I'm writing this on the 13th.
Lately I've been too caught up in my studies to do anything useful here, which honestly makes me disappointed.
This entire progress report is mainly about me complaining about my life interfering with my tulpamancing, but I never seem to do anything about it, ever.
Maybe one time I'll actually end up doing something useful here.
At least, I would hope.
« Last Edit: October 14, 2014, 07:02:36 PM by RailOfFire »

RailOfFire

Rail's Progress on Tulpas
« Reply #20 on: October 14, 2014, 06:58:51 PM »
10/12/2014 (Sunday) - Yet again, I'm writing this on the 13th, my tulpamancing getting postponed until the 13th.
My studies interfered with it, this time.

10/13/2014 (Monday) - No information written for the current date.

10/14/2014 (Tuesday) - No information written for the current date.

10/15/2014 (Wednesday) - I want to say that I started creation on the 13th, but I've really had a lot of things going on around me.
Like I wrote for the 12th, I have a lot to catch up in my studies.
I'll try to begin creation today, but I can't promise it; I've got a lot to do, and forcing right now is, unfortunately, at the back of my mind.
I'm going to have to finish everything before my procrastination gets the best of me.

10/16/2014 (Thursday) - Writing this at 3:00 AM, 10/17/2014.
I'm going to have to wait until the weekend to actually think anything through here.
Like I've said, I've got no time in-between my studies.

10/17/2014 (Friday) - No information written for the current date.

10/18/2014 (Saturday) - Today is officially the weekend; I've decided that, rather than try to force at night or in the early morning, I'm going to have to somehow see if I can force during the day.
Passive forcing is, of course, an option, but I had to prepare time for me to active force on Creation date.
It would be terribly difficult to begin Creation while passive forcing, especially going about your day like you would if you'd be passive forcing.
That could be reserved for narration or forcing in general, rather than something major such as beginning Creation.
« Last Edit: October 30, 2014, 05:30:41 PM by RailOfFire »

RailOfFire

Re: Rail's Progress on Penises
« Reply #21 on: October 14, 2014, 07:04:54 PM »
Also, what's with the double post that's a quote of an earlier post you made?

Accident.
Thank you for pointing that out.

Re: Rail's Progress on Tulpas
« Reply #22 on: October 14, 2014, 07:12:26 PM »
Man that sure was a text wall.

Eat cake with tupper to celebrate.

Also ps because I always forget to add it apparently, creating some kind of believable personality right now isn't very important because tuppers will develop once they actually experience things and can end up being very different. You don't really need to "force" negative traits into one as they will most certainly develop their own as no person is perfect. Similarly many of your "good" traits might end up missing.
« Last Edit: October 14, 2014, 07:16:52 PM by Sands »

Re: Rail's Digress on Tuplas
« Reply #23 on: October 15, 2014, 02:30:40 AM »
I realise what I was just now about to say would've been too rehearsed and overused, and no-one would give a fuck anyway because bitches don't know about my superior approaches that work every single time, instantly. Instead, I'm not going to recommend anything to you, and leave you to your own demise. Have fun overpreparing and procrastinating, fiery rail.

RailOfFire

Re: Rail's Progress on Tulpas
« Reply #24 on: October 15, 2014, 05:00:30 PM »
You don't really need to "force" negative traits into one as they will most certainly develop their own as no person is perfect. Similarly many of your "good" traits might end up missing.

Thanks for this actually, I was adviced by many different guides that I'd have to add negative traits into his personality.
I've been thinking this same statement for a while, but of course, since I've never had a tulpa before I couldn't fully confirm whether or not it was "safe" not to do so.
(Of course, I know that negative personality traits aren't nessicarily needed, but I was rather adviced that it might be a good idea to add them.
That might be a better word choice.)

Also, about the text wall thing, yes I seem to write a lot in my progress reports.
I try to organize it (like shown) so it is, at least, not around 5 sentences per line (and logs are hard to find).
I organize it so that there's 1 sentence per line (unless the sentence is too long, of course) as well as a couple other things I try to keep steady.

creating some kind of believable personality right now isn't very important because tuppers will develop once they actually experience things and can end up being very different.

Not quite what I meant when I said "selecting a personality type".

Rather, what I meant was some/most of the traits coming from that personality type.


I realise what I was just now about to say would've been too rehearsed and overused, and no-one would give a fuck anyway because bitches don't know about my superior approaches that work every single time, instantly. Instead, I'm not going to recommend anything to you, and leave you to your own demise. Have fun overpreparing and procrastinating, fiery rail.

Thank you...?

But yes, I do procrastinate.



Also, I don't see how I appear to be digressing this.
« Last Edit: October 17, 2014, 06:15:08 AM by RailOfFire »

Re: Bail's Mistress on Turpas
« Reply #25 on: October 16, 2014, 02:09:13 AM »
I have no idea what you're talking about.

Re: Rail's Progress on Tulpas
« Reply #26 on: October 16, 2014, 05:43:58 AM »
Not quite what I meant when I said "selecting a personality type".

Rather, what I meant was some/most of the traits coming from that personality type.

Not quite what I meant, either.

It was just a continuation of my previous point (you don't have to try to create a personality that has flaws in place as those will develop on their own, no way to create a "perfect" person). Tuppers aren't characters you write for a book after all, they aren't something you have to write down to their most insignificant quirks or ticks, they don't have to be "believable" and you don't have to strive to not make your original personality to not be a Mary Sue. And despite all your personality forcing, it's even possible to get a tupper that is very, very different. You never know with these things. Other things stick, other things don't. And especially as they live for a bit longer, they experience a lot and change.

So just don't worry about that too much. It really isn't an issue at all. Now go force more.

Re: Sail's Actress on Tulips
« Reply #27 on: October 16, 2014, 05:49:03 AM »
Tuppers aren't characters you write for a book after all, they aren't something you have to write down to their most insignificant quirks or ticks, they don't have to be "believable" and you don't have to strive to not make your original personality to not be a Mary Sue.*

* Your mileage may vary.

Re: Rail's Progress on Tulpas
« Reply #28 on: October 16, 2014, 07:58:58 AM »
But you're the worst at creating unchanging tuppers, Fodde...

Re: Hail's Fortress on Chalupas
« Reply #29 on: October 16, 2014, 08:27:12 AM »
Please shut up about it, Admin-sama... It's embarrassing...