Author Topic: RoF's Progress on Tulpas  (Read 26058 times)

RailOfFire

Rail's Progress on Tulpas
« Reply #15 on: October 14, 2014, 06:57:25 PM »
9/21/2014 (Sunday) - Not much of anything done today, today was more of a preparation day if anything. Expended Wonderland a bit and increased the details of it in some areas. Field unofficially created, as well as expanded the abandoned "Hall of Memories" project from Doughnut. I'll have to update that officially soon, something to keep note of.

9/22/2014 (Monday) - Yet another unimportant day to me. I haven't even began to start directly on him, as I've been occupied each day since.
Absolutely no progress done today.

9/23/2014 (Tuesday) - I've had music to do today, with my schedule being fully occupied at the moment.
Things like this is what worries me, for it shows I may be doing the same once I create a tulpa.
Note; It's important to find time to work on him; I can't simply leave him in the dust.

9/24/2014 (Wednesday) - Issues in the family today.
I've not got a stable friendly relationship with my family, so this is to be expected.
To take up creation time, however, isn't something I look forward to.
If I am to begin creations, tomorrow is the deadline, without hesitation.

9/25/2014 (Thursday) - I've worked a bit on his personality traits today.
I've decided to add the Big Five personality traits to the list as well (because, as we all know, when making a tulpa, following reality is always the best decision to make).
This is, with the exception of "Extraversion", as I'd like to allow him to develop that on his own.
I'm actually really glad about this, concidering that I've been having a hard time actually giving him "negative" traits like I'm supposed to, even if they're aimed to develop on their own.
For a while now I've been contemplating making only a few negative traits and allowing others to form naturally along his personality, and I think that is what I'm going to stick with for now.
Here is what I've got so far.
Note; Personality list should be done by the end of the week, if not next week.

9/26/2014 (Friday) - Updated personality trait list, located here.
I added a few other "negative" traits, and I believe that should be about it for now; I'd really like to make sure that he deviates to the way he would like, and not towards a preset I've set myself.

9/27/2014 (Saturday) Nothing at all fairly important today, let alone exciting.
Today I've more of rested, even if I've been harping on myself about needing to work on my tulpa; I'm a hypocrite, if anything.
« Last Edit: October 14, 2014, 07:02:13 PM by RailOfFire »

RailOfFire

Rail's Progress on Tulpas
« Reply #16 on: October 14, 2014, 06:57:49 PM »
[IMP] -


9/28/2014 (Sunday) - Final update on his personality trait list, located here.
Added final touches to the descriptions of the traits.
I've also finally finished adding in the Hall of Memories idea from Doughnut.
Seems the idea isn't as hard as I proposed it to be; the difficult part was trying to find a place to put the Hall.
I decided on making a door to a new basement area, which, within the basement area, would contain a door to the Hall.
The door at the end of the Hall is a simple blank room that I haven't decided on what to do with yet.
It may end up becoming storage space in the end.
-
I'm also going to, one day or another, have to sketch a trace of the Wonderland.
I'll make sure to place it here.

9/29/2014 (Monday) - Nothing important done today, or even relatively important.

9/30/2014 (Tuesday) - Yet again, another day of no progress.
It makes me sad to say this, but I really have had no progress whatsoever these past two days.
Tomorrow is Creation day.

10/1/2014 (Wednesday) - Base form of which will be an artic fox, very similar to Probitas' form to be honest.
Same layout of organs, et cetera; if anything, detail will be minor at first.
Here's a simple layout of his organs, teeth, skeletal structure, and other miscellaneous things; numbers one, two, three, and four.
The most simple way to put this is to say that "it's happening, guys".
-
10:31 PM (Wednesday) - I'm getting up from my studies and from doing the progress log now to begin Creation process.
If anything, it may happen as late as 11:30 PM or even up to 2:00 AM.
Either way, "it's happening".

10/2/2014 (Thursday) - I fell asleep, unfortunately.
Will be trying again today. very necessary to start and finish today or tomorrow.
I've also sorted all personality traits into a personality table (sorted by the Big Five), here.

10/3/2014 (Friday) - Finally starting at 8:21 PM.
-
9:56 PM (Friday) - First of all, I'm very sorry towards "Friend".
The session was going very well - I had meditated for a decent while and then I started to lose him.
-
We had gotten past symbolizing him, et cetera; but it's my fault for me losing him.
At the last minute, I had decided to make him an orb of light, to make sure that I wouldn't have such difficulty forcing or visualizing him at first; I had to call him a universal name of "Friend", since he would not give me a "valid name" - it was the first default name I could think of besides something offensive (such as, "Tulpa001").
-
After asking him to repeat three times, I got the answer of "Charlie" all three times; mixed in with multiple different generated responses, making it difficult to tell if it was him or my brain generating the responses.
After so, I cleared my thoughts of all responses and asked him to repeat the name again, this time getting a different name, of "Johnny".
The next five times of repeating he either gave me a different name, the same name, or no name at all; where I couldn't tell what name he was trying to give me.
On the last try, all he was giving me was random letters, almost as if randomizing; I finally gave up on trying to understand his tulpish.
-
I'll try to clear my mental block and try again, some time else.
It pains me to cast him aside, but I must.

10/4/2014 (Saturday) - Trying to find a way of ridding my mental block the best I can.
I obviously can't rid of them in a single day, which is what worries me; I won't be able to begin Creation for a while, now.

Monthly Notes

[=-=]
« Last Edit: October 14, 2014, 07:02:22 PM by RailOfFire »

RailOfFire

Rail's Progress on Tulpas
« Reply #17 on: October 14, 2014, 06:58:18 PM »
10/5/2014 (Sunday) - Still trying to rid of my mental blocks, or at least "preparing" to.
If the environment around me does not settle, then I may never be able to begin Creation, or at least in this year.

10/6/2014 (Monday) - Yet again another day to rid of the mental blocks, or at least trying to settle them.
An article like this may come to mind.

10/7/2014 (Tuesday) - I'm going to have to stay off of doing anything related to tulpamancing for a few days if not a week.
If it gets to the point of where I won't be able to update this report, I'll list it here.
-
On an unrelated side note, the Progress Report hit 1,000 views today.

10/8/2014 (Wednesday) - I've been trying to sort out my problems in "real" life today; to be honest, I feel much better.
I, of course, don't believe that my mental block is fully gone - as, I'm not quite sure of how to technically "remove" the mental block.
I have, however, been changing what I do, starting out slow with getting more sleep and moving on with my life in other areas.
Depression may have a point in causing this, to be honest.

10/9/2014 (Thursday) - Avoiding it the best I can.
Going to be waiting until Saturday to begin forcing.

10/10/2014 (Friday) - Just waiting until Saturday.
It's important to note, I've been trying to calm my environment some, and have moved on with my life (concerning other things).

10/11/2014 (Saturday) - I'm writing this on the 13th.
Lately I've been too caught up in my studies to do anything useful here, which honestly makes me disappointed.
This entire progress report is mainly about me complaining about my life interfering with my tulpamancing, but I never seem to do anything about it, ever.
Maybe one time I'll actually end up doing something useful here.
At least, I would hope.
« Last Edit: October 14, 2014, 07:02:36 PM by RailOfFire »

RailOfFire

Rail's Progress on Tulpas
« Reply #18 on: October 14, 2014, 06:58:51 PM »
10/12/2014 (Sunday) - Yet again, I'm writing this on the 13th, my tulpamancing getting postponed until the 13th.
My studies interfered with it, this time.

10/13/2014 (Monday) - No information written for the current date.

10/14/2014 (Tuesday) - No information written for the current date.

10/15/2014 (Wednesday) - I want to say that I started creation on the 13th, but I've really had a lot of things going on around me.
Like I wrote for the 12th, I have a lot to catch up in my studies.
I'll try to begin creation today, but I can't promise it; I've got a lot to do, and forcing right now is, unfortunately, at the back of my mind.
I'm going to have to finish everything before my procrastination gets the best of me.

10/16/2014 (Thursday) - Writing this at 3:00 AM, 10/17/2014.
I'm going to have to wait until the weekend to actually think anything through here.
Like I've said, I've got no time in-between my studies.

10/17/2014 (Friday) - No information written for the current date.

10/18/2014 (Saturday) - Today is officially the weekend; I've decided that, rather than try to force at night or in the early morning, I'm going to have to somehow see if I can force during the day.
Passive forcing is, of course, an option, but I had to prepare time for me to active force on Creation date.
It would be terribly difficult to begin Creation while passive forcing, especially going about your day like you would if you'd be passive forcing.
That could be reserved for narration or forcing in general, rather than something major such as beginning Creation.
« Last Edit: October 30, 2014, 05:30:41 PM by RailOfFire »

RailOfFire

Re: Rail's Progress on Penises
« Reply #19 on: October 14, 2014, 07:04:54 PM »
Also, what's with the double post that's a quote of an earlier post you made?

Accident.
Thank you for pointing that out.

Re: Rail's Progress on Tulpas
« Reply #20 on: October 14, 2014, 07:12:26 PM »
Man that sure was a text wall.

Eat cake with tupper to celebrate.

Also ps because I always forget to add it apparently, creating some kind of believable personality right now isn't very important because tuppers will develop once they actually experience things and can end up being very different. You don't really need to "force" negative traits into one as they will most certainly develop their own as no person is perfect. Similarly many of your "good" traits might end up missing.
« Last Edit: October 14, 2014, 07:16:52 PM by Sands »

RailOfFire

Re: Rail's Progress on Tulpas
« Reply #21 on: October 15, 2014, 05:00:30 PM »
You don't really need to "force" negative traits into one as they will most certainly develop their own as no person is perfect. Similarly many of your "good" traits might end up missing.

Thanks for this actually, I was adviced by many different guides that I'd have to add negative traits into his personality.
I've been thinking this same statement for a while, but of course, since I've never had a tulpa before I couldn't fully confirm whether or not it was "safe" not to do so.
(Of course, I know that negative personality traits aren't nessicarily needed, but I was rather adviced that it might be a good idea to add them.
That might be a better word choice.)

Also, about the text wall thing, yes I seem to write a lot in my progress reports.
I try to organize it (like shown) so it is, at least, not around 5 sentences per line (and logs are hard to find).
I organize it so that there's 1 sentence per line (unless the sentence is too long, of course) as well as a couple other things I try to keep steady.

creating some kind of believable personality right now isn't very important because tuppers will develop once they actually experience things and can end up being very different.

Not quite what I meant when I said "selecting a personality type".

Rather, what I meant was some/most of the traits coming from that personality type.


I realise what I was just now about to say would've been too rehearsed and overused, and no-one would give a fuck anyway because bitches don't know about my superior approaches that work every single time, instantly. Instead, I'm not going to recommend anything to you, and leave you to your own demise. Have fun overpreparing and procrastinating, fiery rail.

Thank you...?

But yes, I do procrastinate.



Also, I don't see how I appear to be digressing this.
« Last Edit: October 17, 2014, 06:15:08 AM by RailOfFire »

Re: Rail's Progress on Tulpas
« Reply #22 on: October 16, 2014, 05:43:58 AM »
Not quite what I meant when I said "selecting a personality type".

Rather, what I meant was some/most of the traits coming from that personality type.

Not quite what I meant, either.

It was just a continuation of my previous point (you don't have to try to create a personality that has flaws in place as those will develop on their own, no way to create a "perfect" person). Tuppers aren't characters you write for a book after all, they aren't something you have to write down to their most insignificant quirks or ticks, they don't have to be "believable" and you don't have to strive to not make your original personality to not be a Mary Sue. And despite all your personality forcing, it's even possible to get a tupper that is very, very different. You never know with these things. Other things stick, other things don't. And especially as they live for a bit longer, they experience a lot and change.

So just don't worry about that too much. It really isn't an issue at all. Now go force more.

Re: Rail's Progress on Tulpas
« Reply #23 on: October 16, 2014, 07:58:58 AM »
But you're the worst at creating unchanging tuppers, Fodde...

RailOfFire

Re: Rail's Progress on Tulpas
« Reply #24 on: October 17, 2014, 06:16:58 AM »
I have no idea what you're talking about.
http://prntscr.com/4wz7hr

(you don't have to try to create a personality that has flaws in place as those will develop on their own, no way to create a "perfect" person). Tuppers aren't characters you write for a book after all, they aren't something you have to write down to their most insignificant quirks or ticks, they don't have to be "believable" and you don't have to strive to not make your original personality to not be a Mary Sue.
 And especially as they live for a bit longer, they experience a lot and change.

So just don't worry about that too much. It really isn't an issue at all. Now go force more.

Good advice, here.
I'll just toss the personality sheets aside and work with no personality; he should, like you said,  deviate in time.
This is, in fact, what I had hoped for at the start;

as I personally want to give my tulpa freedom to choose what he wants to be.
It's something I hint at quite a lot during July and August.




(To be honest with you, the sheets were really a burden in the first place.)
« Last Edit: October 17, 2014, 06:30:01 AM by RailOfFire »

Re: Rail's Progress on Tulpas
« Reply #25 on: October 17, 2014, 06:18:45 PM »
Well, you could still "force" a personality, just know that it tends to change a lot and new things will be added and some things will never be a part of the final outcome. Just do what feels natural to you, though. You don't have to do it if you feel it's not really useful.

In some cases it feels like personality forcing is just basically narration with a very narrow topic. I guess you could also potentially change it into something like "I wish you were like.../It would be cool to have someone who..." if you start running out of things to narrate.

RailOfFire

Rail's Progress on Tulpas
« Reply #26 on: October 30, 2014, 05:31:02 PM »
10/19/2014 (Sunday) - Have been with my family all day today, therefore haven't been able to do anything related to Creation.
I've also got an event connected to my studies that I have to attend tomorrow, so I'd imagine nothing will be able to be done tomorrow.

10/20/2014 (Monday) - An event was hosted today, haven't been able to do anything today.
Perhaps later on in the day or tomorrow.

11:47 PM (Monday) - Began Creation today.
However, even with a simplistic form and Wonderland slate, I couldn't finish Creation with any progress.
I could not focus on my tulpa, for one, not only because of intrusive thoughts (because, actually, I haven't had very many), but because of my tulpa its-self.
When asked a simple question (such as, "What is your name?"), slight whispering could be heard, almost as if it was coming from the left side of my head.
It sounded oddly familiar, actually; if anything, it was more of a group.
This is not, of course, a lie; I do not roleplay about the topic of tulpas, even more so, hardly ever.
This could be an intrusive thought, but it bugs me so, as I haven't been able to begin Creation due to me never being able to understand my subconscious.
Similar behavior has been repetitive from previous Creation dates.
I feel as if the mental block I've attempted to clear my mind of is still present; I do, in fact, know what it would be.
It would pertain to my surroundings and my past (which is, of course, a story for another time).
I've tried to clear my mind of it, attempted to "brighten" my life, almost as if trying to "improve my life" temporarily; to, ultimately, escape depression, I guess I could say.
But I suppose it hasn't gone, and I'm going to have to rid of it and move on some way or another.
Things like these truly make me wonder whether or not I'm actually ready for the responsibility of a tulpa, in which, by this point, I'm starting to think 'no'.
-
[Side Note]

10/21/2014 (Tuesday) - Started to lose time lately.
I've noticed that a lot of my time has been taken involuntarily by other events, projects, and most of all, my studies.
The chances that I'm thinking about tulpamancing or are trying to put my mind off of other things nowadays are very slim.
I'm sure it's not as terrible as I make it out to be, but it's still something to be worried about.

10/22/2014 (Wednesday) - No information written for the current date.

10/23/2014 (Thursday) - No information written for the current date.

10/24/2014 (Friday) - No information written for the current date.

10/25/2014 (Saturday) - No information written for the current date.

RailOfFire

Re: Rail's Progress on Tulpas
« Reply #27 on: October 30, 2014, 05:31:26 PM »
10/26/2014 (Sunday) - No information written for the current date.

10/27/2014 (Monday) - No information written for the current date.

10/28/2014 (Tuesday) - This would be, I would guess, the second time I've been off of here for a week.
This progress report has reached its downfall incredibly fast, especially by now; I'd assume all this inactivity of mine is one of the main reasons why I can't visualize or even rid of this mental block.

10/29/2014 (Wednesday) - Researched a small bit today.
No real, helpful information found.
-
I might simply decide to meditate for about an hour before I begin creation again, which will be on the first of November.
I've got to put my best efforts into this.
If all else fails, I might have to decide to stop this for now, and resume this later on in life.
This doesn't seem like the right thing for me at the moment, although I'm hoping that I won't have to put this off purposefully.

Re: Rail's Progress on Tulpas
« Reply #28 on: October 30, 2014, 06:23:05 PM »
>my subconscious

Implying there is one thing you could call your "subconscious" that you could ever actually understand.

How you speak of this Creation is pretty creepy with that capital letter and all. "Creating a tulpa" was too long for you?

Also, just stop procrastinating and force more. Just chill. Do shorter sessions you can easily just go do and then come back to what you're doing. Too busy doing nothing in front of the computer? We all are. But I'm sure you can stop it for ten minutes to talk to a tupper a couple of times each day. You need to stop making forcing sessions some big thing that has to be super perfect, then you start getting anxious and keep putting it off when you feel like you can't do it. Do short ones, but do them often. It's easy to stop doing something else for that time and you'll easily be able to focus for that time, too. And if you can't? Well, it was just a short session, so you just go on with your life and return in a couple of hours and do it again. Maybe it goes better, then.

It's not rocket science. You don't have to overcomplicate everything.

Re: Rail's Progress on Tulpas
« Reply #29 on: October 31, 2014, 07:44:13 AM »
Well, his mindset might not be wrong and that's something many of us feel like after having tuppers. And you yourself have also proven how right this mindset has been despite disliking it.