[IMP] -
9/7/2014 (Sunday) - Went over the personality traits I remember again today.
I'll probably end up going over the complete version tomorrow.
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Also, something to note, using the State would be helpful.
If I can visualize him clearly, even with using Hypnagogia, it's worth trying; hopefully means I'm doing something right.
9/8/2014 (Monday) - Not much besides a long talk with Probitas.
I was having issues on deciding what to narrate to him and/or what to force with him, but in the end I ended up having a somewhat thirty minute to an hour long conversation with Probitas.
Most of the conversation was simply of how I don't support things such as sex slavery or slavery in general, and how I'd at least try to be the best host I can, or at least one that would be decent.
Upon actually pondering this, I'm not sure this was the best idea; after all, it might shock him greatly when given so much information about what people do to tulpas, even if I may have not channeled to him very well.
I suppose he's not sentient enough to understand me anyways, but I might as well treat him as if he is; after all,
expectation is everything.
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With other news, I've got a small portion of the Log fixed today; not very much done today on the Log.
I hope to finish it by Friday or by next Sunday.
9/9/2014 (Tuesday) -
Minimal attention shown, aside from narrating.
Haven't done any Hypnagogia lately, either; I"ll see if I can try to do some tomorrow.
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Continued visualization problems. If you know any visualization techniques, please alert me; I've been having issues since day one.
Takes about a minute to five minutes to actually visualize him decently; upon first visualization, he'll be missing a leg or certain limbs will be longer than others, as I can't seem to remember what he looks like immediately.
I've seen posts about this on
.info, so I'll be looking through the threads.
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I've decided to puppet Probitas for a day, tomorrow.
I'll be trying to visualize him moving and/or in different positions so that I can visualize him correctly when he's moving.
After counting (done today), 47 days have passed.
This seems more than enough time for me to visualize him actually moving; as in, moving into different rooms, walking towards a certain area, etc.
For 47 days, he's been in a sort of "hibernation" state, where he's only been in one position or two the entire time, and that would be to be laying down.
I have read before that it's a good idea to puppet at the beginning to get them to start moving.
I don't know if it's far too late to do so and if I should hope for the best, or if I should take action, but I need to make sure he's okay.
At this point, I'm back at the stage where I'm unsure if he's an actual tupla or just a stable thought in my mind, something I need to get out of immediately; doubts kill tulpas, a fact, that is.
9/10/2014 (Wednesday) - Strange behavior upon puppeting today.
As I tried to puppet (a common form of "boosting" the tulpa's movement), he didn't seem to move, but rather produce another form of himself.
When giving a slight amount of force, a slightly smaller, "spirit-like" figure of himself emerged.
This figure would act just as if Probitas expectedly might; not flying freely as a ragdoll, but able to be moved normally around.
The best way I could explain this would be of "accidentally cloning my tulpa".
It's not the best way that I could explain it, but it's there.
Earlier today I asked Probitas to surprise me, but I'm not sure he would do this.
The last thing I need is for him to have identification issues with himself.
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I'll be trying this again tomorrow, maybe even on Friday.
This may have been a kickstart, but I need to find out more.
I've no clue of what this could be.
Note; Able to make "newer versions of" Probitas; if anything, clones of.
Puppeting Probitas doesn't work, unless a great amount of force is upheld.
9/11/2014 (Thursday) - Tried testing on Probitas once more.
Rather than a spirit-like figure, almost an exact version of Probitas was made upon puppeting.
While Probitas would be laying/sleeping, the other (so-called "clone") would be standing, moving upon command.
It doesn't seem like puppeting anymore, but rather like creating another whole tulpa alone.
Rather than one being moving, two'd be present at the same time.
When I leave and reconnect to the Wonderland, he'd be back at where he's been for the past 40 or 50 days.
Going to be looking at this somewhat "phenomenon" tomorrow.
Note; "Clones" seem to disappear and/or dissipate after leaving, almost like creating a new whole tulpa.
If I were to actually give it personality traits or some sort of thought into them, I'd imagine I'd be creating a whole new tulpa.
9/12/2014 (Friday) - Final time I've tried to force with Probitas.
Upon puppeting, multiple forms of him'd be posed at certain angles or areas of the Wonderland, such as when I've been trying to visualize him.
I can see all of the different sorts of "forms" of Probitas made about a month ago or so.
Multiple "clones" of him'd be posed at different areas, about 20 or 30 in all.
Same rules apply; upon reconnect to the Wonderland, only the original would be present.
I'd like to believe that I'm simply just remembering different poses and areas used for visualization practice, but I'm not sure it'd be that.
In fact, if anything, I have a theory about this; the tulpa I've had for about 50 days now, Probitas, has been a fake all along.
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I don't mean as in an unstable being in the mind like I've thought for a while now, but more so a part of the Wonderland its-self.
Upon the creation process, I must have merged Probitas in with the Wonderland unknowingly, which would explain why I haven't gotten any response since I created him.
I'd imagine that he merged shortly after the creation process, without me separating him, as during the creation process I could see him breathing and even feel warmth across his body.
Once an hour or so passed (or even so, the next day), no breathing could be seen and, although I've never thought to feel his body again, no warmth seems to be coming from him.
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Now, although somebody I reported this to pointed out that they don't need oxygen, that's not quite what I mean; when I had created Probitas, I had given him his vital and non-vital organs.
His systems such as the respiratory, skeleton, and even the nervous system were all intact.
I could even, if I tried to, see all of his blood and organs, as this was a technique used that implied to "add life to the tulpa".
Although they don't need to, if they wanted to they'd be able to breathe, but nevertheless I should feel warmth from him like I did at the start.
Overall I'm guessing that he had merged in with the background/Wonderland without me meaning to switch him.
I may have to restart on him, mostly if not completely.
Hopefully one of the worst days of my tulpamancing career has passed.
9/13/2014 (Saturday) - I've noticed Probitas has been turning more of a
darker color than usual today; most likely because I expect him to, if not, "blend in" with the background.
I'm going to have to cut him out of the background soon, and most likely restart on a new tulpa.
I don't know whether or not I'll call him Probitas, or something else yet at the moment; nor do I know whether or not to change personality traits, etc.
I'll just have to hope for the best, and see what comes my way.