Tulpas > Tulpa Diaries

Sara - My first tulpa

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geek:
This is to keep a log of my progress with my half-assed attempts with creating a tulpa Sara.

Background
I have been using a personal character archetype named Sara for various RPGs and games for a long time. I started using this archetype 5ish years ago originally in a game just for something different to be looking at. It felt right so I kept using it. Eventually I used it in something that needed personality.

It has gotten to a point where today she feels like a real person, just one that I don't know very well.

Form
A redhead woman, about 17, with loose curls and at times with a few braids. Her face is covered in freckles, she is around 5 feet tall, she has green eyes, thin, and smaller breasts. At times she has body mods like facial piercings or tattoos. This is most how I see her:



Personality
She is somebody that could kick ass when needed, was honest to a fault, kind, physically weak, strong emotionally, cynical, a smart ass, amongst other traits. She has since taken on likes and some dislikes. I envision her with an irish accent and a really nice voice. Working with her to sing would be a nice long term goal.

Sara is a huge hippie and a very down-to-earth no-nonsense celtic wiccan. She runs around in bare feet to be closer to the earth. Her clothes are mostly baggy and flowing, though at times she likes to show off.

She likes rock and loves rock from the 90s, especially alt, prog, and heavy metal.

Wonderland
My wonderland is a cottage in the forest next to a river. The cottage is cozy, two fireplaces, looking a lot like the picture below with less flowers and more trees. Inside there is a reading nook which houses my memories, a fireplace kitchen, and a bed for Sara. I made an image album of examples. There is a path leading out into the forest.



Creation Progress
When I started reading about tulpas a few days ago I was instantly hooked and knew that Sara could well become one. I already feel her presence in a small way, normally behind me. And have felt emotional responses to a few things I think of.

As she already feels like a person, I think I want to not force too much on her unless there is a trait that pops up that's not desirable. I'm thinking hands off would be better.

So this is our log.

geek:
First posting:

Been trying to narrate but finding it hard to come up with things to talk about. "Any topic" is too broad for me, so I stammer. Did some time, I don't know how long, just before sleeping tonight puppeting her dancing to the music I had going. I prefer passive forcing, I have a good amount of responsibilities that keep me pretty busy so it works far better. I've found it easier to narrate to her while driving as I'm not paying attention to myself talking as much, pretending I'm talking to a cordless headset helps more.

My wonderland is very raw still. It's still just a generic forest. I might finish this before forcing more. Thought about putting a little cabin in there for things like a memory library and a place for her to just be.

I am a visual person that can't draw, so I might have pictures drawn of her and wonderland done eventually. I'd definitely want to flesh things out more first.

Advice on practical things to narrate that doesn't sound like ridiculously talking to myself would be appreciated.

Sands:

--- Quote from: geek on October 01, 2014, 06:29:06 PM ---As she already feels like a person, I think I want to not force too much on her unless there is a trait that pops up that's not desirable.

--- End quote ---

Well uh, why would you try to stiffle a tupper growing up into their own person and force your own ideals down their throat? I'm not sure if there's even any true way to "force" a personality as eventually they will grow with their experiences that are outside your control, but still. Of course if something is annoying, you could just tell them that it's bothering you. I'm sure they would appreciate that more than you trying to erase a part of them.

What do you like? What are you hobbies? What kind of a job do you have? You could explain those to her down to the smallest of details. Is there some topic you know a lot about like say, cats? Why not tell her everything you know about that. Why not try this little trick where you go in your wonderland and look up at the sky, seeing the clouds. Whatever the clouds remind you of, say everything you know about it. You could also involve the tupper in that more and instead make them create pictures or whatever of the thing they want to know more about and then you narrate that.

geek:
Updates to the main post. I'll try to keep it updated with my overall progress on a semi-regular basis.

Second posting:

I did a wonderland session mostly to check out the cabin that I added, although it turned into a forcing session as Sara was there. I talked to her a bit about skyrim sessions I played with her as my character. She was definitely there with me but her form was more ethereal and a feeling then her actual form. But, narrating to her is still awkward for me. I feel like I'm recounting stories to myself that I obviously already remember.

I tried to walk through the cabin to see it but maybe I didn't do enough preperations, like a floor plan, because I was taken right out of wonderland due to it... but here's the awesome thing, I think I heard her.

It was a light woman's voice, with either a scottish or irish accent it sounded like it was coming out of a bad phone connection, through static. I think she said, "You forgot your sweets" or "You're forgetting your sweets". I didn't bring any candy into wonderland so I consider it incoherent. I strongly believe it was her. I don't think I'll ever forget it.

Sands:
Maybe you could try bringing candy next time.

As for feeling like you're just talking to yourself, do a little test. How does it feel like when you talk to yourself? How does it feel like when you talk to an object? How does it feel like when you talk to another person? How does it feel like when you talk to a pet? And then, how does it feel like when you talk to the tupper? Obviously, if it feels at all different than talking to yourself, even the slightest, tiniest bit... That might be caused by something, right? Maybe it's because you actually aren't talking to yourself? Otherwise it would feel the same.

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