Author Topic: Sparks' Progress Report  (Read 75215 times)

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #15 on: October 01, 2014, 08:07:44 PM »
I'm scared to let them, Senpai. They might become addicted, which would soon mean addiction for me.

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #16 on: October 01, 2014, 08:22:02 PM »
No, the tuppers would take over and you would have to watch them play forever.


Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #17 on: October 01, 2014, 09:27:27 PM »
They'll burn out pretty quickly if they aren't very creative.

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #18 on: October 27, 2014, 10:20:49 PM »
That does sound pretty horrible. I'm beginning to understand what you mean about being bored into a switch, Colonel. Er, you know, through experience and all that.

Sorry I haven't updated, though I'm pretty sure no one cares. We've been doing an assload of possession, mang. The way I approach it keeps changing, too, uh, with respect to my nebulous internal feels and my perspective of the alteration of my perspective. For example, I used to treat giving up my eyes as though I were giving up my other muscles, but now that principle feels really universalized; I simply slip away and everything slips away with me.

Leading to some strange results. We were reading today and I realized I wasn't comprehending the words from the page, but listening to her read it to me. Very surreal and p.neat. My eyes do that graying out thing, but she can still see. Down the road toward switching, hidey-hee, hidey-hoo.

Oh and I find it hard to be associated after a long day of possessing, but sleep fixes everything right up. So that's something, too. 

Edit: Oh wait, I thought of other stuff.

I forgot to talk about regular forcings. Man, the wonderland is getting strange; the folks there, non-tulpa, are getting... I mean, idk how to say it, but they're becoming smarter/stronger. Some of them seem aware of their position and are acting accordingly. Jerks even semi-exiled me, though I understand their reasons. Long story.

Yes, I know it sounds crazy. It is.
« Last Edit: October 27, 2014, 10:43:13 PM by Sparks »

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #19 on: October 28, 2014, 07:29:04 AM »
Tell your imagination that you are the boss.

Also do more blocks, you haven't experienced true pain until a tupper sails for multiple minecraft days over a giant ocean with nothing in it.

Re: Spfbls' Progress Report
« Reply #20 on: October 28, 2014, 12:44:41 PM »
But did she actually comprehend the meaning of the words herself? One can blindly read a page aloud and still not understand it.

Quite. And the difference you're talking about is one I've come across. In the beginning there was a certain attention I had to pay to them so they could act. Something like a lending of my investment so information could be processed, even if they were processing it in my place. It's something, I think, that just slips away as you all learn how to maneuver states of consciousness - it did for us.

First time I experienced Clair as separate it scared the shit out of me. Not just a momentary startle; I was legitimately frightened. It's something that has to be eased into, that feeling of losing a control you don't know you have, and I couldn't do its description justice in text.

Tell your imagination that you are the boss.

I don't wanna. I'm actually pretty proud of them. Of course I could wave a wonderland hand and reduce their entire world to dust, but where would be the fun in that?

Also do more blocks, you haven't experienced true pain until a tupper sails for multiple minecraft days over a giant ocean with nothing in it.

F-fine. Sophia will probably like that, and Clair might too. The former has been playing Skyrim and doing pretty well. I like watching her charge into high-level dungeons, only to quickly egress when faced with a Master Vampire or some other jerkoff, leaving bodies and trails of expletives in her wake.

Minecraft would probably be more productive.   

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #21 on: October 28, 2014, 02:04:48 PM »
You gotta show your imagination that you're the boss, though. Before you start being all waah my imagination people are bullying me wat do ;_; and we will tell you to just slap them.


Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #22 on: October 28, 2014, 03:03:44 PM »
Show them who's the boss of your gym.

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #23 on: October 30, 2014, 02:23:18 PM »
G-golly, guys. Okay.

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #24 on: November 04, 2014, 01:46:10 PM »
Mangs, it's funny how the more you look at your tulips the more you see. Not just visually; it goes without saying that the more you imagine them the more you can imagine em. But in every aspect.

Parallel processing is important to just about everything we do here, but I've managed to worm my way into some of its feats just by changing the way I look at my brain flowers (my tulips or tulpas, in case it isn't clear). I figured that a separate consciousness ought to have separate thoughts not necessarily immediately accessible, but I didn't learn how to give them this private space until I started seeing it there, until I accepted it as there. In other words, I looked for it and I saw it. And in the name of reciprocity, the same came to be on my end, and my thoughts became walled off, divided into what I think in my head and what I say in my head.

Or take possession. As far as I know, there was no difference between the "back" and the "front," if I may be allowed to use these terms, until I started to see the back and the front, to treat my mind as though such things existed. From its determination it saw to itself, and as long as I played by the rules I set down, the rules were valid, and now I don't feel as though I could disobey em if I wanted to. 

I could go on, but I think I got the point across. Really says more about how mastery here is about learning to do what you already know how to do. Its actuality is its being done, and belief in it quickly follows.

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #25 on: November 04, 2014, 05:52:45 PM »
The only way to actually do anything related to tuppers is still to Just Do It.

No one just realizes it until you just do it.

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #26 on: November 04, 2014, 08:49:01 PM »

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #27 on: November 19, 2014, 02:57:23 PM »
Oi, look at that, folks are posting. Guess I'll post, too.

Just a tip I'd like to share. Er, not even much of a tip, really, but an observation. I got the idea from Methos ages ago, but the wording is my own, so as to avoid putting words in his mouth.

Both visualizing and imposing as I've encountered them have something important in common: presence precedes visuals. Even after months of not being terrible at visualization, this holds true; I feel my tulpas qua presence before I sense them by the five (whether imagined or imposed). This is the trivial part.

Here's the tip: Take presence to apply not just to the tulpa's form but to every part of their form. Instead of focusing on the five senses, on the perceptual content, it's helpful to shift one's awareness to presence alone. For example, instead of visualizing Clair's hoof, or feeling it by imagined or imposed touch, where is her hoof? Where do I feel its presence? Where is her tail? Do I feel its presence across my lap or is it hanging off the side of the bed? With greater detail, where is she looking? Can I feel her gaze on me or on something else? Are her nostrils flared in frustration? Is her head turned to the right or left? Have the hairs in her mane drifted to the right or to the left of her neck, and in what proportion? You can really go deep into detail; as deeply as you could were you doing rote visualization. 

Too, as in visualization, try to hold as many of these details in your mind as you can. What's great is that you're dealing with uniform content here; you don't have to worry about holding sound and vision and touch and smell together, or about straining not to forget one while dealing with the others. That will come later, and, if my brain is not unique (and I'm 99% sure it isn't), develop on its own as you build up the habit.   

So you can do this whether placing your tulpa beside you as you fap or whatever, or engaging with them in your mind, and it's a lot less stressful than worrying about all that sensory junk, which I've found can be frustrating whether one is just starting out or having a bad day as a veteran.

And I guess I should clarify in case my use of the word "presence" isn't clear: As it was best described to me in the early days, you know that feeling you get when you know or suspect someone is walking behind you, or when someone's body is hovering close to yours? The notion of their being there as it manifests psychosomaticly. 

There, tip given. Maybe it'll help someone.
« Last Edit: November 19, 2014, 08:08:42 PM by Sparks »

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #28 on: December 02, 2014, 08:52:09 AM »

Hello, everyone. I'll be posting today's update.

We've been practicing as we can, visualization and possession. I haven't been very active on the IRC because there aren't many people I know around anymore. They seem to have become disenchanted with the community and gone their separate ways, so until we get more time for me to establish a new group of friends, I've been playing video games, watching television and doing other time wasting activities when I'm in charge of the body. Sophia has been doing much the same, though she mainly sticks to playing Skyrim.

Sparks says that he's getting better at withdrawing, and he's struggling with getting comfortable in his imaginary body when one of us is in control. He goes one of two ways when he tries to switch: He either tries to get into the wonderland and has varying levels of success or he loses time and goes into a semi-conscious state. For me it's like his presence is becoming smaller, like a weight is lifted from me and my thoughts and actions are more clear as he shrinks.

We made a blindfold for visualization about a month ago. We cut a pingpong ball in half and wrapped it in a soft cloth to protect our eyes from the edges then put a headband around it to fix it to our face, so now we can practice open eye visualization in the dark which is helpful. The method, I think, came from a guide on .info. We then put on some pink noise from youtube and meditate.

And I was told to mention that we've left the ligthouse permanently in favor of a fantastic voyage across the ocean. I don't know if we'll return.
« Last Edit: December 02, 2014, 09:00:59 AM by Sparks »

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #29 on: December 02, 2014, 12:38:50 PM »
Have you played blocks yet?