Author Topic: Sparks' Progress Report  (Read 18083 times)

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #15 on: September 17, 2014, 06:38:51 PM »
Oh, yeah. I should update this.

So we've been doing the same stuff over the past few nights; about a half an hour of reinforcing various things before forcing. Getting a new sensation recently: Like being impressed upon to be in the wonderland, or being in such a state that associating with imagined senses is more desirable than not being so. Kinda interesting, and worth watching for the moment.

Just been tending to the lighthouse, as we tend to. Did some gardening on Monday, some redecorating yesterday and some detail flushing today, and of course lit the damn thing at dusk like I'm supposed to do but keep forgetting to do. Luckily Sophia has my back; she takes care of it when I'm too busy.

And possession is inching along, too. Clair fell asleep again while possessing the other night, which is always kinda strange for me. It's just chatting, chatting and then boom, it's a few hours later and I'm back in control. 

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #16 on: September 18, 2014, 12:44:18 PM »
Well, at least you fell asleep too. Ain't fun if the body falls asleep before you do.

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #17 on: September 20, 2014, 10:33:04 PM »

Re: Sparks' yep Report
« Reply #18 on: September 21, 2014, 02:40:45 AM »
Habeeb it.

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #19 on: September 28, 2014, 01:17:51 PM »
Beebeebeeb.

Hi. Clair, Sophia and I are doing well. They've been possessing quite a bit and I'm really enjoying it. The more dissociated I am, the more I really feel like we're a team, and I get to advise them through external problems like they do me. And the trust building involved in letting go of body control has brought us a lot closer. P. neat.

I'm learning how to enter the whole possessed and withdrawn mental state more smoothly, too. Uh, and we're kinda sorta working out the eye situation, but the resolution is really just getting better at staying back. At one point I became dissociated enough that I felt like I could visualize (something I thought to try after a conversation with The Colonel), and it was pretty cool, for what I could do without losing focus. Sophia was in charge at the time, so I went to the wonderland with Clair and found I couldn't hear what was going on up-top, even Sophia's thoughts. But then I started thinking about the front, which made me lose focus and reassociate. Wonderful, familiar failure. Still, this is like the best switching related failure to date.

So much fun. Oh yeah, and wonderland stuff too, but not as much. Or, at least, nothing exciting to report that hasn't already been said. 

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #20 on: September 28, 2014, 08:41:55 PM »
Have tulpas played Minecraft yet?

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #21 on: October 01, 2014, 08:07:44 PM »
I'm scared to let them, Senpai. They might become addicted, which would soon mean addiction for me.

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #22 on: October 01, 2014, 08:22:02 PM »
No, the tuppers would take over and you would have to watch them play forever.

MegaBusta

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #23 on: October 01, 2014, 09:27:27 PM »
They'll burn out pretty quickly if they aren't very creative.

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #24 on: October 27, 2014, 10:20:49 PM »
That does sound pretty horrible. I'm beginning to understand what you mean about being bored into a switch, Colonel. Er, you know, through experience and all that.

Sorry I haven't updated, though I'm pretty sure no one cares. We've been doing an assload of possession, mang. The way I approach it keeps changing, too, uh, with respect to my nebulous internal feels and my perspective of the alteration of my perspective. For example, I used to treat giving up my eyes as though I were giving up my other muscles, but now that principle feels really universalized; I simply slip away and everything slips away with me.

Leading to some strange results. We were reading today and I realized I wasn't comprehending the words from the page, but listening to her read it to me. Very surreal and p.neat. My eyes do that graying out thing, but she can still see. Down the road toward switching, hidey-hee, hidey-hoo.

Oh and I find it hard to be associated after a long day of possessing, but sleep fixes everything right up. So that's something, too. 

Edit: Oh wait, I thought of other stuff.

I forgot to talk about regular forcings. Man, the wonderland is getting strange; the folks there, non-tulpa, are getting... I mean, idk how to say it, but they're becoming smarter/stronger. Some of them seem aware of their position and are acting accordingly. Jerks even semi-exiled me, though I understand their reasons. Long story.

Yes, I know it sounds crazy. It is.
« Last Edit: October 27, 2014, 10:43:13 PM by Sparks »

Re: Spfbls' Progress Report
« Reply #25 on: October 28, 2014, 04:15:59 AM »
But did she actually comprehend the meaning of the words herself? One can blindly read a page aloud and still not understand it.

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #26 on: October 28, 2014, 07:29:04 AM »
Tell your imagination that you are the boss.

Also do more blocks, you haven't experienced true pain until a tupper sails for multiple minecraft days over a giant ocean with nothing in it.

Re: Spurks' Progress Report
« Reply #27 on: October 28, 2014, 10:15:18 AM »
That's not how you spell "true bliss".

Re: Spfbls' Progress Report
« Reply #28 on: October 28, 2014, 12:44:41 PM »
But did she actually comprehend the meaning of the words herself? One can blindly read a page aloud and still not understand it.

Quite. And the difference you're talking about is one I've come across. In the beginning there was a certain attention I had to pay to them so they could act. Something like a lending of my investment so information could be processed, even if they were processing it in my place. It's something, I think, that just slips away as you all learn how to maneuver states of consciousness - it did for us.

First time I experienced Clair as separate it scared the shit out of me. Not just a momentary startle; I was legitimately frightened. It's something that has to be eased into, that feeling of losing a control you don't know you have, and I couldn't do its description justice in text.

Tell your imagination that you are the boss.

I don't wanna. I'm actually pretty proud of them. Of course I could wave a wonderland hand and reduce their entire world to dust, but where would be the fun in that?

Also do more blocks, you haven't experienced true pain until a tupper sails for multiple minecraft days over a giant ocean with nothing in it.

F-fine. Sophia will probably like that, and Clair might too. The former has been playing Skyrim and doing pretty well. I like watching her charge into high-level dungeons, only to quickly egress when faced with a Master Vampire or some other jerkoff, leaving bodies and trails of expletives in her wake.

Minecraft would probably be more productive.   

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #29 on: October 28, 2014, 02:04:48 PM »
You gotta show your imagination that you're the boss, though. Before you start being all waah my imagination people are bullying me wat do ;_; and we will tell you to just slap them.