Author Topic: Sparks' Progress Report  (Read 28654 times)


Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #30 on: October 28, 2014, 03:03:44 PM »
Show them who's the boss of your gym.

Re: Sparks' Progress Grape Fruit
« Reply #31 on: October 28, 2014, 03:31:49 PM »
Everyone's got a little Billy in 'em.

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #32 on: October 30, 2014, 02:23:18 PM »
G-golly, guys. Okay.

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #33 on: November 04, 2014, 01:46:10 PM »
Mangs, it's funny how the more you look at your tulips the more you see. Not just visually; it goes without saying that the more you imagine them the more you can imagine em. But in every aspect.

Parallel processing is important to just about everything we do here, but I've managed to worm my way into some of its feats just by changing the way I look at my brain flowers (my tulips or tulpas, in case it isn't clear). I figured that a separate consciousness ought to have separate thoughts not necessarily immediately accessible, but I didn't learn how to give them this private space until I started seeing it there, until I accepted it as there. In other words, I looked for it and I saw it. And in the name of reciprocity, the same came to be on my end, and my thoughts became walled off, divided into what I think in my head and what I say in my head.

Or take possession. As far as I know, there was no difference between the "back" and the "front," if I may be allowed to use these terms, until I started to see the back and the front, to treat my mind as though such things existed. From its determination it saw to itself, and as long as I played by the rules I set down, the rules were valid, and now I don't feel as though I could disobey em if I wanted to. 

I could go on, but I think I got the point across. Really says more about how mastery here is about learning to do what you already know how to do. Its actuality is its being done, and belief in it quickly follows.

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #34 on: November 04, 2014, 05:52:45 PM »
The only way to actually do anything related to tuppers is still to Just Do It.

No one just realizes it until you just do it.

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #35 on: November 04, 2014, 08:49:01 PM »

Re: Sperks' Pregress Repert
« Reply #36 on: November 05, 2014, 04:18:53 AM »
It is regrettably difficult to just do it until one just does it. Use my method.

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #37 on: November 19, 2014, 02:57:23 PM »
Oi, look at that, folks are posting. Guess I'll post, too.

Just a tip I'd like to share. Er, not even much of a tip, really, but an observation. I got the idea from Methos ages ago, but the wording is my own, so as to avoid putting words in his mouth.

Both visualizing and imposing as I've encountered them have something important in common: presence precedes visuals. Even after months of not being terrible at visualization, this holds true; I feel my tulpas qua presence before I sense them by the five (whether imagined or imposed). This is the trivial part.

Here's the tip: Take presence to apply not just to the tulpa's form but to every part of their form. Instead of focusing on the five senses, on the perceptual content, it's helpful to shift one's awareness to presence alone. For example, instead of visualizing Clair's hoof, or feeling it by imagined or imposed touch, where is her hoof? Where do I feel its presence? Where is her tail? Do I feel its presence across my lap or is it hanging off the side of the bed? With greater detail, where is she looking? Can I feel her gaze on me or on something else? Are her nostrils flared in frustration? Is her head turned to the right or left? Have the hairs in her mane drifted to the right or to the left of her neck, and in what proportion? You can really go deep into detail; as deeply as you could were you doing rote visualization. 

Too, as in visualization, try to hold as many of these details in your mind as you can. What's great is that you're dealing with uniform content here; you don't have to worry about holding sound and vision and touch and smell together, or about straining not to forget one while dealing with the others. That will come later, and, if my brain is not unique (and I'm 99% sure it isn't), develop on its own as you build up the habit.   

So you can do this whether placing your tulpa beside you as you fap or whatever, or engaging with them in your mind, and it's a lot less stressful than worrying about all that sensory junk, which I've found can be frustrating whether one is just starting out or having a bad day as a veteran.

And I guess I should clarify in case my use of the word "presence" isn't clear: As it was best described to me in the early days, you know that feeling you get when you know or suspect someone is walking behind you, or when someone's body is hovering close to yours? The notion of their being there as it manifests psychosomaticly. 

There, tip given. Maybe it'll help someone.
« Last Edit: November 19, 2014, 08:08:42 PM by Sparks »

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #38 on: December 02, 2014, 08:52:09 AM »

Hello, everyone. I'll be posting today's update.

We've been practicing as we can, visualization and possession. I haven't been very active on the IRC because there aren't many people I know around anymore. They seem to have become disenchanted with the community and gone their separate ways, so until we get more time for me to establish a new group of friends, I've been playing video games, watching television and doing other time wasting activities when I'm in charge of the body. Sophia has been doing much the same, though she mainly sticks to playing Skyrim.

Sparks says that he's getting better at withdrawing, and he's struggling with getting comfortable in his imaginary body when one of us is in control. He goes one of two ways when he tries to switch: He either tries to get into the wonderland and has varying levels of success or he loses time and goes into a semi-conscious state. For me it's like his presence is becoming smaller, like a weight is lifted from me and my thoughts and actions are more clear as he shrinks.

We made a blindfold for visualization about a month ago. We cut a pingpong ball in half and wrapped it in a soft cloth to protect our eyes from the edges then put a headband around it to fix it to our face, so now we can practice open eye visualization in the dark which is helpful. The method, I think, came from a guide on .info. We then put on some pink noise from youtube and meditate.

And I was told to mention that we've left the ligthouse permanently in favor of a fantastic voyage across the ocean. I don't know if we'll return.
« Last Edit: December 02, 2014, 09:00:59 AM by Sparks »

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #39 on: December 02, 2014, 12:38:50 PM »
Have you played blocks yet?

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #40 on: December 03, 2014, 09:17:30 AM »
Clair: Not yet, but most likely around the holidays.

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #41 on: December 03, 2014, 10:00:08 AM »
Yes, I'm sure the host will end up dead after a week of blocks.


Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #42 on: December 03, 2014, 02:34:14 PM »
LOL no they wont

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #43 on: December 03, 2014, 03:09:19 PM »
You'll see.

Re: Sparks' Progress Report
« Reply #44 on: December 07, 2014, 05:57:15 PM »
Mmm, looking forward to it.

In the mean time, today marks the end of a certain anchor around our schedule, so I wanna take an extra hour a day over the next week to work on my focus, and maybe more once things are really quiet around Christmas.

Looking around, NariusV is a good model for how to go about it, so we're going to dedicate that extra hour to Shockk's visualization exercise. I'm not sure if I'll be able to do two hours in one sitting off the bat, but I'll work my way back up to it and whatnot.

Will post daily scores here to keep us motivated starting tomorrow. Wish us the many lucks.