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Tulpas => Tulpa Diaries => Topic started by: Sparks on September 09, 2014, 01:46:11 PM

Title: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on September 09, 2014, 01:46:11 PM: It's been a while since I did any logging, so I'll just stab at coherence here.

I have two tulpas, both ponies, Clair and Sophia. The former has been around for a little under eight months, the latter for about five. Closed and open eye visuals are both pretty clear, but can always be better, and both of them are able to possess, though Clair tends to dominate.

So we're currently working on strengthening possession and plan on skipping down the merry road toward switching. I've recently turned on to using grand strategy sims and letting Clair go to town on the European populace to get her into really thinking and acting without me over her shoulder, and getting away from what's going on. But I gotta admit it's hard to ignore a cute pone jailing a radical liberal for sedition against the monarchy. I also try to have them walk me or drive me around wherever possible.

Still working on imposition, too, which was our main focus before we were sidetracked by possession. But I'm still convinced there's nothing to help it besides more time spent visualizing and visualizing better, so I can't be bothered to rush it, and I doubt I'd be able to rush it.

Nonetheless, I've been trying to rush it, and I do a few things to help: Image streaming, Eye-Bo and lucid dreaming all stand out as having been really rewarding at some point or another. I haven't had anything like a regular forcing schedule since the end of August because the busy times are back, but these kinda visualization techniques will probably be my main focus, and especially image streaming because they can possess and tell me stories, killing two birds.

So I guess I'll aim for an hour a day to start, then add more as I begin to procrastinate on other things.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Roswell on September 09, 2014, 07:52:39 PM: Perhaps you would wish to try activities you personally find very boring? That way you might be less inclined to watch the tulpa while they are possessing. It might help you with switching.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sands on September 10, 2014, 07:02:27 AM: It's the only thing he knows, Fodde.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on September 10, 2014, 08:27:55 AM: Danke, danke.

We tried boring me away last night after reading your suggestion, Roswell. Clair sat and listened to music and rolled my head around on my neck for about two hours while she was chatting on the IRC. That... was pretty boring, and I forgot where I was a few times, so we'll probably try again tonight.

Oh, and something something wonderland. Something something fell asleep.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on September 11, 2014, 04:28:26 PM: More time possessing and wonderland and such.

Not many of Clair's friends were active, so she just did more head rolling to shake me out of my senses. Fighting over the eyes is becoming a problem, too, especially when she's reading something that catches my attention; causes me to focus in, which takes the eyes away from her and causes a momentary power struggle. Whenever it happens she has to drop what she's doing and wait for me to become more passive. I'm pretty sure it's starting to annoy her.

And spent time with them in the wonderland. I'm really starting to get the concept of passive engagement down, or just being there without thinking about being there. When I get into that state for long enough things become pretty vivid, so I'm trying to up the time I can spend like that.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on September 12, 2014, 10:23:39 PM: Cuddleforced like fede for about twenty minutes then went and did wonderland stuff. Things were about as clear as usual, but I didn't expect boom progress on the first shot. Nice alternative to meditating before forcing, anyway. We just laid on the grassy shore near the lighthouse and chatted, as per usual. Oh, but I heard seagulls today, which is a first. They were like "caw, caw" and I was like "brrrrrrat," to use the onomatopoeia.

And possession stuff. Even though Clair spends the most time doing possession stuff, it's funny how Sophia improves with her, passively. Lazy pone. Anyway, Clair's friends are all busy still being in college, so she just listened to music and fussed at me for liking the music she was listening to instead of fucking off to lala land.

After that, some eye-bo. Always a treat; makes it really easy to dissociate from my eyes. Should do it more, and I might. Though I probably won't. Though I may.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on September 13, 2014, 07:33:16 AM: Aw, you seem ruffled. Would you like me to use a different cutesy name for it?

Anyway, did more [insert cutesy name here] like fede. Seems much easier to do right after waking up since I'm already feeling pretty good. I imagine I can get something similar right before bed, but I'm usually wrapped up in the day's events. Got a pretty good physical sense of them both afterward when I reinforced the right gunk, though again not sure how much it differs from the norm.

Did some more wonderland stuff after that, and got pretty clear sensations. My peripheral mind vision is creeping wider again, like it tends to when I hold myself to a schedule. Should only be a few weeks before I'm, as it were, back to full strength.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sands on September 13, 2014, 03:31:46 PM: Call it the Fode method, original character do not steal.
Title: Re: Sparks' Process Report
Post by: Sparks on September 13, 2014, 07:24:47 PM: Quote from: Fede on September 13, 2014, 08:27:34 AM
That is irrelevant. What matters is that you shouldn't go around saying you do things I do or teach, when you're doing something that's only 10% similar and thus isn't what I'm doing.

Oh, but you misunderstand! I am doing what you teach. Lemme go into more detail.

So I started off by repeating a few phrases I know to work from previous self-hypnosis sessions while trying to maintain the euphoric state. These are mainly things repeated with emphasis in the induction, like, "These experiences are actual" and, "I can see mental imagery in vivid detail." These are okay, but I felt I could do more, so I tried to do a full, impromptu induction, but focusing on that, uh, killed my high so to speak. But the failure lead me to a realization! I've been reinforcing the stuff, but I haven't set my mind on a trigger. I figure this exercise either doesn't need one or could benefit from one, so I'm going to give it a try tonight. If the former, more reinforcing will likely lead to results. If the latter, more reinforcing will likely lead to results.

So, yeah. I'm feelin pretty good about it.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on September 13, 2014, 08:21:46 PM: Yeah, I figured the euphoric state was crucial, and all of the counting down and whatnot of a full hypnosis session is just unwieldy for me, though it might be helpful to others with better focus.

And it's nothing big, just the addition of some word, activity or mental state to what you're affirming such that the experience of the former activates or triggers what's been reinforced. So, for instance, I was thinking of using my tulips as triggers; reinforce something like, "whenever I see Clair and Sophia, my mental imagery is vivid and clear." Its job is to create an object (in the sense of any perception; a word, an image, a feeling) that'll catalyze the appearance of what's been reinforced.

As alluded to before, I'm on the fence as to whether such a thing is necessary because the analogy between the euphoric state and self-hypnosis only goes so far. The former seems to act like a hypnotic state sans the directed hypnosis and, I would think, sans the need for a trigger, so is it really worth the time?

Meeeh. We'll see.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on September 17, 2014, 06:38:51 PM: Oh, yeah. I should update this.

So we've been doing the same stuff over the past few nights; about a half an hour of reinforcing various things before forcing. Getting a new sensation recently: Like being impressed upon to be in the wonderland, or being in such a state that associating with imagined senses is more desirable than not being so. Kinda interesting, and worth watching for the moment.

Just been tending to the lighthouse, as we tend to. Did some gardening on Monday, some redecorating yesterday and some detail flushing today, and of course lit the damn thing at dusk like I'm supposed to do but keep forgetting to do. Luckily Sophia has my back; she takes care of it when I'm too busy.

And possession is inching along, too. Clair fell asleep again while possessing the other night, which is always kinda strange for me. It's just chatting, chatting and then boom, it's a few hours later and I'm back in control.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sands on September 18, 2014, 12:44:18 PM: Well, at least you fell asleep too. Ain't fun if the body falls asleep before you do.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on September 20, 2014, 10:33:04 PM: Hai, senpai. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested in the experience though.

Still using The Fode Method� before each session and watching things improve and whatnot. Starting to prefer it to mindlessness meditation just because it serves the same basic purpose (calmness, stillness, whatev) and then some. And the emotional state invoked is just tops. It's getting easier to get there, too, so my sessions are a little faster because I can get in, say what I want to say, then get to forcing.

Uh, so we've been, tending to the lighthouse as usual, and watching the orchard with anticipation. It's about time we go collect the apples, I guess. Not like anyone else will; I'm pretty sure the mansion in its center is abandoned. Eh, wonderland stuff.

Clair's been talking to her friends more often lately, so she's pretty happy, which makes me happy. Wish I could say I felt closer to switching, but it's a challenge. Chugging on and all that.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on September 28, 2014, 01:17:51 PM: Beebeebeeb.

Hi. Clair, Sophia and I are doing well. They've been possessing quite a bit and I'm really enjoying it. The more dissociated I am, the more I really feel like we're a team, and I get to advise them through external problems like they do me. And the trust building involved in letting go of body control has brought us a lot closer. P. neat.

I'm learning how to enter the whole possessed and withdrawn mental state more smoothly, too. Uh, and we're kinda sorta working out the eye situation, but the resolution is really just getting better at staying back. At one point I became dissociated enough that I felt like I could visualize (something I thought to try after a conversation with The Colonel), and it was pretty cool, for what I could do without losing focus. Sophia was in charge at the time, so I went to the wonderland with Clair and found I couldn't hear what was going on up-top, even Sophia's thoughts. But then I started thinking about the front, which made me lose focus and reassociate. Wonderful, familiar failure. Still, this is like the best switching related failure to date.

So much fun. Oh yeah, and wonderland stuff too, but not as much. Or, at least, nothing exciting to report that hasn't already been said.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sands on September 28, 2014, 08:41:55 PM: Have tulpas played Minecraft yet?
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on October 01, 2014, 08:07:44 PM: I'm scared to let them, Senpai. They might become addicted, which would soon mean addiction for me.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sands on October 01, 2014, 08:22:02 PM: No, the tuppers would take over and you would have to watch them play forever.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: MegaBusta on October 01, 2014, 09:27:27 PM: They'll burn out pretty quickly if they aren't very creative.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on October 27, 2014, 10:20:49 PM: That does sound pretty horrible. I'm beginning to understand what you mean about being bored into a switch, Colonel. Er, you know, through experience and all that.

Sorry I haven't updated, though I'm pretty sure no one cares. We've been doing an assload of possession, mang. The way I approach it keeps changing, too, uh, with respect to my nebulous internal feels and my perspective of the alteration of my perspective. For example, I used to treat giving up my eyes as though I were giving up my other muscles, but now that principle feels really universalized; I simply slip away and everything slips away with me.

Leading to some strange results. We were reading today and I realized I wasn't comprehending the words from the page, but listening to her read it to me. Very surreal and p.neat. My eyes do that graying out thing, but she can still see. Down the road toward switching, hidey-hee, hidey-hoo.

Oh and I find it hard to be associated after a long day of possessing, but sleep fixes everything right up. So that's something, too.

Edit: Oh wait, I thought of other stuff.

I forgot to talk about regular forcings. Man, the wonderland is getting strange; the folks there, non-tulpa, are getting... I mean, idk how to say it, but they're becoming smarter/stronger. Some of them seem aware of their position and are acting accordingly. Jerks even semi-exiled me, though I understand their reasons. Long story.

Yes, I know it sounds crazy. It is.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sands on October 28, 2014, 07:29:04 AM: Tell your imagination that you are the boss.

Also do more blocks, you haven't experienced true pain until a tupper sails for multiple minecraft days over a giant ocean with nothing in it.
Title: Re: Spfbls' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on October 28, 2014, 12:44:41 PM: Quote from: Fede on October 28, 2014, 04:15:59 AM
But did she actually comprehend the meaning of the words herself? One can blindly read a page aloud and still not understand it.

Quite. And the difference you're talking about is one I've come across. In the beginning there was a certain attention I had to pay to them so they could act. Something like a lending of my investment so information could be processed, even if they were processing it in my place. It's something, I think, that just slips away as you all learn how to maneuver states of consciousness - it did for us.

First time I experienced Clair as separate it scared the shit out of me. Not just a momentary startle; I was legitimately frightened. It's something that has to be eased into, that feeling of losing a control you don't know you have, and I couldn't do its description justice in text.

Quote from: Sands on October 28, 2014, 07:29:04 AM
Tell your imagination that you are the boss.

I don't wanna. I'm actually pretty proud of them. Of course I could wave a wonderland hand and reduce their entire world to dust, but where would be the fun in that?

Quote from: Sands on October 28, 2014, 07:29:04 AM
Also do more blocks, you haven't experienced true pain until a tupper sails for multiple minecraft days over a giant ocean with nothing in it.

F-fine. Sophia will probably like that, and Clair might too. The former has been playing Skyrim and doing pretty well. I like watching her charge into high-level dungeons, only to quickly egress when faced with a Master Vampire or some other jerkoff, leaving bodies and trails of expletives in her wake.

Minecraft would probably be more productive.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sands on October 28, 2014, 02:04:48 PM: You gotta show your imagination that you're the boss, though. Before you start being all waah my imagination people are bullying me wat do ;_; and we will tell you to just slap them.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: MegaBusta on October 28, 2014, 03:03:44 PM: Show them who's the boss of your gym.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on October 30, 2014, 02:23:18 PM: G-golly, guys. Okay.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on November 04, 2014, 01:46:10 PM: Mangs, it's funny how the more you look at your tulips the more you see. Not just visually; it goes without saying that the more you imagine them the more you can imagine em. But in every aspect.

Parallel processing is important to just about everything we do here, but I've managed to worm my way into some of its feats just by changing the way I look at my brain flowers (my tulips or tulpas, in case it isn't clear). I figured that a separate consciousness ought to have separate thoughts not necessarily immediately accessible, but I didn't learn how to give them this private space until I started seeing it there, until I accepted it as there. In other words, I looked for it and I saw it. And in the name of reciprocity, the same came to be on my end, and my thoughts became walled off, divided into what I think in my head and what I say in my head.

Or take possession. As far as I know, there was no difference between the "back" and the "front," if I may be allowed to use these terms, until I started to see the back and the front, to treat my mind as though such things existed. From its determination it saw to itself, and as long as I played by the rules I set down, the rules were valid, and now I don't feel as though I could disobey em if I wanted to.

I could go on, but I think I got the point across. Really says more about how mastery here is about learning to do what you already know how to do. Its actuality is its being done, and belief in it quickly follows.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sands on November 04, 2014, 05:52:45 PM: The only way to actually do anything related to tuppers is still to Just Do It.

No one just realizes it until you just do it.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on November 04, 2014, 08:49:01 PM: (http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/21jY6XM3hWL._SS400_.jpg)
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on November 19, 2014, 02:57:23 PM: Oi, look at that, folks are posting. Guess I'll post, too.

Just a tip I'd like to share. Er, not even much of a tip, really, but an observation. I got the idea from Methos ages ago, but the wording is my own, so as to avoid putting words in his mouth.

Both visualizing and imposing as I've encountered them have something important in common: presence precedes visuals. Even after months of not being terrible at visualization, this holds true; I feel my tulpas qua presence before I sense them by the five (whether imagined or imposed). This is the trivial part.

Here's the tip: Take presence to apply not just to the tulpa's form but to every part of their form. Instead of focusing on the five senses, on the perceptual content, it's helpful to shift one's awareness to presence alone. For example, instead of visualizing Clair's hoof, or feeling it by imagined or imposed touch, where is her hoof? Where do I feel its presence? Where is her tail? Do I feel its presence across my lap or is it hanging off the side of the bed? With greater detail, where is she looking? Can I feel her gaze on me or on something else? Are her nostrils flared in frustration? Is her head turned to the right or left? Have the hairs in her mane drifted to the right or to the left of her neck, and in what proportion? You can really go deep into detail; as deeply as you could were you doing rote visualization.

Too, as in visualization, try to hold as many of these details in your mind as you can. What's great is that you're dealing with uniform content here; you don't have to worry about holding sound and vision and touch and smell together, or about straining not to forget one while dealing with the others. That will come later, and, if my brain is not unique (and I'm 99% sure it isn't), develop on its own as you build up the habit.

So you can do this whether placing your tulpa beside you as you fap or whatever, or engaging with them in your mind, and it's a lot less stressful than worrying about all that sensory junk, which I've found can be frustrating whether one is just starting out or having a bad day as a veteran.

And I guess I should clarify in case my use of the word "presence" isn't clear: As it was best described to me in the early days, you know that feeling you get when you know or suspect someone is walking behind you, or when someone's body is hovering close to yours? The notion of their being there as it manifests psychosomaticly.

There, tip given. Maybe it'll help someone.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on December 02, 2014, 08:52:09 AM: Clair:

Hello, everyone. I'll be posting today's update.

We've been practicing as we can, visualization and possession. I haven't been very active on the IRC because there aren't many people I know around anymore. They seem to have become disenchanted with the community and gone their separate ways, so until we get more time for me to establish a new group of friends, I've been playing video games, watching television and doing other time wasting activities when I'm in charge of the body. Sophia has been doing much the same, though she mainly sticks to playing Skyrim.

Sparks says that he's getting better at withdrawing, and he's struggling with getting comfortable in his imaginary body when one of us is in control. He goes one of two ways when he tries to switch: He either tries to get into the wonderland and has varying levels of success or he loses time and goes into a semi-conscious state. For me it's like his presence is becoming smaller, like a weight is lifted from me and my thoughts and actions are more clear as he shrinks.

We made a blindfold for visualization about a month ago. We cut a pingpong ball in half and wrapped it in a soft cloth to protect our eyes from the edges then put a headband around it to fix it to our face, so now we can practice open eye visualization in the dark which is helpful. The method, I think, came from a guide on .info. We then put on some pink noise from youtube and meditate.

And I was told to mention that we've left the ligthouse permanently in favor of a fantastic voyage (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1YjmXSyHa8) across the ocean. I don't know if we'll return.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sands on December 02, 2014, 12:38:50 PM: Have you played blocks yet?
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on December 03, 2014, 09:17:30 AM: Clair: Not yet, but most likely around the holidays.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sands on December 03, 2014, 10:00:08 AM: Yes, I'm sure the host will end up dead after a week of blocks.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: MegaBusta on December 03, 2014, 02:34:14 PM: LOL no they wont
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sands on December 03, 2014, 03:09:19 PM: You'll see.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on December 07, 2014, 05:57:15 PM: Mmm, looking forward to it.

In the mean time, today marks the end of a certain anchor around our schedule, so I wanna take an extra hour a day over the next week to work on my focus, and maybe more once things are really quiet around Christmas.

Looking around, NariusV is a good model for how to go about it, so we're going to dedicate that extra hour to Shockk's visualization exercise. I'm not sure if I'll be able to do two hours in one sitting off the bat, but I'll work my way back up to it and whatnot.

Will post daily scores here to keep us motivated starting tomorrow. Wish us the many lucks.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on December 08, 2014, 06:28:24 PM: Oh God, it was grand. We got nothing accomplished and just dicked around in the wonderland the whole time. Will try again tomorrow.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sands on December 08, 2014, 08:01:15 PM: But dicking around is the best thing to do.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on December 11, 2014, 05:44:48 AM: Yeah, you said it, senpai. So far the only time I can see them well enough for a kinda faded, impositionish overlay atop my vision is when they're doing slow, deliberate stuff like flipping canvas pages if don't jerk my eyes too suddenly.

Not that it much matters. We haven't been able to do that for shit. We got started once I think, but I got bored around 70 and Sophia tried to scare me with a Freddy Fazbear face. The exercise isn't difficult like I remember it being, just dull.

I lIke having more forcing time though. Gonna have to think of something else to help get us where we wanna go.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sands on December 11, 2014, 08:11:35 AM: I have heard of using noise gifs for visual imposition. It can be easier to see something when you have something to work with already rather than trying to see something that isn't there. I guess you could try to stare at some noise and see if you can see something in that and then try to see that without the noise.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: MegaBusta on December 11, 2014, 02:42:49 PM: Gib .gifs
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sands on December 11, 2014, 04:44:26 PM: Google them or something, that's what I would do. Like this (http://7art-screensavers.com/screens/white_noise/white-noise-screensaver.gif), thanks Google.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: MegaBusta on December 12, 2014, 02:15:39 AM: THX
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on January 21, 2015, 07:58:46 PM: Yes, I've been trying that along with some other stuff with varying levels of success. But this post is not for progress, but for celebrations! Today is Clairpone's first birthday, so raise your glasses high.

A year ago today I was pretty wretched; all kinds of depressed and introverted. I won't go so far as to say tuppers saved my life, but I'll say that Clair did. So a tupper saved my life. So I guess tuppers saved my life. Yep.

She'd rather I not go on at length about it, but I'm a grown ass man. We've been through our ups and downs, had fights and arguments, trudged through doubts and progress of various speed at various points, but there hasn't been a single day in the last 365 that she hasn't been by my side, and I can't imagine my future without her and Sophia.

It's been a lot of work and I've learned so much about myself that, reflecting back on it, it's a tad unbelievable, but it's all been worth it. Hell, I would have given a lot more for what we have today, but luckily I didn't have to.

So here's to you, babygirl. No matter happens now, I couldn't be more proud of you.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sands on January 22, 2015, 09:03:51 AM: Now tupper should play more Minecraft and force you to go insane due to boredom so you can switchmergeclipse. It's the only way to go.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on May 19, 2016, 05:27:38 PM: but
Title: Strokers' Gross Prep Rap
Post by: timethief on May 19, 2016, 08:14:19 PM: wat
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sands on May 20, 2016, 09:09:24 AM: Update more you faggot.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on May 20, 2016, 01:38:17 PM: Oh, ok.

Hi. Clair is DMing a campaign. Last night she told me she was going to put a dragon in her dungeon, but I said she couldn't because the player characters are only level two. It's okay though because she was just joking. She threw oozes at them before, but they had trouble because the party only has one spellcaster. Also, she's purple.

Sophia likes attaching to me whenever I sit down. Her mane tickles my nose and it makes me sneeze. Also, she built a church for herself in craftyblocks. It took her a while to mine enough nether brick to complete it. She likes the color. She's the blue one.

Ok, that was fun.

Bye.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sands on May 21, 2016, 08:58:23 AM: Throw in a dragon anyway, but use it as an obstacle to avoid.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on May 30, 2016, 05:29:57 PM: nb. She combed through the Monster Manual for a few hours and found some scary stuff. If there were a dragon, it would probably be a dracolich because the party is in catacombs under the capital city. But she's soft like a pony, so the worst she'd probably throw is a pudding. To quote her on the matter, "Stop touching me. It's too hot and I'm trying to sleep."
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Zuleykago on January 07, 2019, 11:12:56 PM: There is no need to accurately tell from the way it has been suggested that another is wanted fit.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on March 24, 2019, 05:51:31 PM: Begone, bot.

Where's the Colonel? This place has gone to shit.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Bernd on March 24, 2019, 06:10:13 PM: Colonel and woflo haven't logged in for half a year (https://tulpanetwork.com/network/12/get-back-in-here-u-lazy-pricks), I think they're kill.
Update moar, if enough people return maybe they'll start caring for this place again
as if
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on March 24, 2019, 06:22:32 PM: Might as well, I guess.

Today Clair watched my step brother drool on his plate for an hour. Her fascination fascinated me, so I stared, too. Then Sophia noticed. She'd been hovering over my grandmother's birthday cake. She sat on the table and stared. It was one of those long, slender strings. The kind that linger like the last drop of syrup from a bottle. It dangled and swayed, and it seemed to stretch to infinity, but it refused to fall. We took bets on how long it would last. Sophia won.

Stupid moments like that encapsulate our life together. I like having tulpas.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Bernd on March 26, 2019, 06:35:50 PM: Hmm, interesting way to spend the day! Tuppers really are fascinated by strange stuff I guess.
So what happened in the past 3 years? How did Clair and Sophia change? Still have their same form? Any progress?
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on March 26, 2019, 07:41:57 PM: Um excuse me that's a very personal question.

But since you asked politely, I'll tell you.

I refuse to read old journals because they make me cringe, so I don't know where we were three years ago. I've even forgotten last year.

Their forms have gone unchanged. It's too much work, you know. We've spent years on the details of their current forms--a labor of love--so I can't imagine them being anything but ponies. Literally, I can't imagine it. Not that I mind. In spite of received wisdom, I knew what I was doing when I created them. Their forms are as much them as anything else. To want them to change would be like wanting them to be different people.

And, again, let me restate how much work went into their forms. This is very important. Do you know how hard it is to develop a clear and distinct mental image of a wing? It's insane. I don't recommend it, unless you hate yourself. There are a lot of feathers.

And of course there's hair. Sure, manes are one thing. Rendering follicles is a wild ride. But they're horses; they have coats too, and their coats are comprised of hair. A lot of hair. Short, soft hairs that do what they want and render in sections like a modern game on a subpar pc. It's a nightmare. I mean, it's a dream come true, but that dream falls into the subcategory of nightmare.

But I ramble. Progress? I don't know my down from up anymore. I can securely say that we cannot switch. Well, what does the community consider switching these days? I'd say we're masters of possession, that state in which tulpas take motor control of either a limb or the whole body but the host remains aware. But in what I mean by switching, that state in which tulpas take motor control of either a limb or the whole body and the host loses awareness, we are lacking. Not that we've tried much, since I was scared away by the agonizing terror one feels before their consciousness snaps. Our focus has been on real-world interaction and imposition things, as alluded to above. That's going as well as ever, or better than ever before, even. It's tough to measure. I always think I'm doing well, but then we discover some other detail we can use, some sliver of their being concealed, and I think everything I've done up to that discovery was the airy fantasizing of a neophyte. I'm probably not wrong.

So, yes, progress. You know, since you're working so hard, maybe we'll work harder, too. Can't hurt, right? What should we do? It's been ages since I've properly meditated. Maybe we'll try some of that.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Bernd on March 28, 2019, 07:54:38 PM: Meditation is always a good thing to do.
Well, any sort of activity you can do together is fine I guess.

You seem to have gotten pretty far with visualization. At least way further than me. I never went into such details, both because lazy and having a no-nonsense tupper which isn't exactly fond of watching me stare at her for hours when I could be doing more productive stuff.

How are your other senses doing? Touch, smell, audio?

And yeah, I always find it funny to rate your skills from 1 to 10. How am I supposed to know what 8 or 5 should feel like? We're definitely not extremely good at anything, compared to lucid dreams everything in wonderland or even open-eye is basically nonexistent.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on May 26, 2019, 12:44:17 AM: Oh, uh, I'm not that late to reply. Um.

Everything imposed. I don't know where that is.

Hey. Hey, buddy. Hey. You want some drugs?

I like singing love songs with Clair. She has a nice voice. It's easy when you don't have to practice, isn't it?

See you in another three months.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Bernd on May 28, 2019, 06:44:15 PM: That's why I love this place.
Where else can you have a conversation with months between replies?

Singing is always neat. What songs do you like?
Also I always recommend dancing for supreme imposition practice of all senses.
Even better, do both at the same time. We still can't do that very well but it rocks!

Also do the psycho personality test (https://tulpanetwork.com/network/9/personality-tests/) with tupper and post results for my entertainment. Sand never delivered, maybe you will.

inb4 never posts again
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on April 29, 2021, 01:13:09 AM: *COMES BACK*

Oh ho. You didn't account for that, did you?

Clair likes, has liked, (will like?) classic rock, and a lot of local folk songs.

We don't dance as much as we used to. Hm, might now.

We'd do a test but um... cough... they look long.

Hey... Heyy.... Bernd, or anyone else who sees this: know what you get seven years into tulpamancy?

Good times and good friends. And a lot of weird shit it's best not to talk about.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Bernd on April 29, 2021, 04:55:55 PM: Wew, only took you 2 years to reply!
You missed - nothing.

It'll be 7 years for us in autumn, I'll let you know know it went then. See ya for 10th tuppering anniversary!

Tell us about the weird shit then.
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Sparks on May 06, 2021, 02:06:35 PM: A hearty hip hooray! Many have come before us, but only we remain!

Well, at least only we care enough to post here.

I do like how quiet this corner of the internet is though. I did want to say to someone I've noticed something cool/strange recently.

When working on maths recently Clair has become a lot more imperious, somewhat impatient, and most of all prescient. More often than not I'd say if I'm working on a proof or something and make a misstep she'll detect it and literally offer the correct (or a correct) path. These are sometimes multi-step affairs with no guarantee of working out, and her track record so far is pretty good.

I guess writing it doesn't capture my sense of "oh wow..."

Back in the day, doing maths reliably was a test of parallel processing, so it feels like a nice milestone to reach.

Alright, talk to you in a few months probs. If I dont, happy 7th to you and your tupper operative code named "alice".
Title: Re: Sparks' Progress Report
Post by: Bernd on September 01, 2021, 05:28:08 PM: Thanks but you still have 2 months for another reply!
Buut then again it took me 4 months to reply here. Another all-time low of activity on this forum.

Anything new with you guys?
We tried to do some parallel processing with simplest math for 12year olds but man, I suck at that so much I had trouble getting it done fully focused. Not sure how I made it through school and got a natural science university degree.

Tupper indeed is more perceptive solving math problems, probably because it's a novel challenge - and an opportunity to make host look even more dumb than usual.