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Tulpas => Tulpa Diaries => Topic started by: Τamamo on May 24, 2020, 08:16:51 AM

Title: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Τamamo on May 24, 2020, 08:16:51 AM
Hello I'm Tamamo and this will be my progress report.

I have ben thinking to make a tulpa for a long time but hesitated. Maybe too long the communities have become really inactive. But finally I am here so let's start!

My tulpas initial form will be Tamamo Cat from FGO and her name will obviously be Cat.

(https://i.ibb.co/M1qbXKS/tamamo-cat-fate-and-1-more-drawn-by-chita-ketchup.jpg)

I have thought of giving her three forms, a pure human form, Tamamo Cat form and pure cat form so she can choose which she likes best.

As of why, guess like most of us I am a shy introvert with few friends and not too social so someone like Tamamo Cat is the exact opposite in a good way. She seems like a strong and fun companion. Which will force me to grow as well.

So what have I done and what will I do:
Since early this year I unsuccessfully tried to register and thought once I make it in here and get some moral support I will start. No fun to do everything on your own and tulpa.info is uhh...
But in the mean time I have ben reading a lot in the forums and made lists of traits so probably I have already started. But from today on I will talk to Cat and treat her as a person.
I guess I will use a combination of all techniques mentioned here, narrating, puppeting, visualizingand belief implanting and see which works best for us.

So now - off to forcing!
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Bernd on May 24, 2020, 06:30:06 PM
A cat is fine too (https://mangapark.net/manga/tsukihime-dakara-ore-wa-ren-wo-osou-doujinshi/i461317/v1/c0/23)!
Hidden text
As long as it's not a pastel colored cartoon horse - but this dark and sad age is finally behind us, hopefully never to return.

Wow, you really did it, no turning back now!
Just wondering why you went through the trouble of coming to this forsaken place. There is the saying of going on board a sinking ship but you are diving into an ancient wreck here. I still recommend taking a look at tulpa.info for a bit more social activity, some of the people are alright. Some...

About multiple forms - don't try to do too many different things at the same time like me. Quality over quantity. You can just make paws, ears and tail detachable - voilà, human form!

Oh yeah, I probably needn't tell you but I really think that 'sentience-from-the-start' mindset is important. Never dismiss anything tupper does because you've been told it's 'not right' or 'too early'. Gently correct if undesired but never ignore. Because that's like really rude. Imagine a child trying to impress the parents with some unexpected skill and they're like - that was just a meaningless coincidence, our kid shouldn't be able to do that according to literature. I mean there's useful autism but this is just being an asshole. Just saying that trusting your feelings is way more important than following guides or rules.

Speaking of that I believe tuppering is actually really easy if you don't happen to be an emotionless sociopath. All it takes is empathy, meaning imagining how others would feel and react.

Bernd's 4-step tuppering guide:
1) imagine interacting with tupper
2) imagine tupper interacting with you
3) rinse and repeat
4) profit

That's really all there is. The more you manage to get immersed and the higher the intensity and frequency the better the results. One of the few cases where obsessing is really helpful. Well for tuppering. Not necessary for your personal life. Ah well in the end you gotta figure out what works for you.
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Τamamo on May 25, 2020, 06:36:08 AM
Thanks!
Didn't you perfectly answer why I'm here withyour post? And your diary? I mean you're awesome!
But about tulpa.info, didn't you completely quit going there yourself?

I'll mostly stick with Tamamo Cat form for now but some experimenting can't hurt. Lol,taking off the animal parts! The paws look like gloves and shoes anyway.

So I spent yesterday evening narrating to Cat and visualizing her before going to sleep. Focused on reassuring her that no matter what will happen she doesn't have to be afraid. Not sure if that counts asbelif implanting but I guess that's what you did with Alice to protect her from intrusive thoughts and doubts about herself. I tried to create a friendly and safe environment for her, basically a buddhist temple.
So far so good, no great responses on day one but a good feeling. I will watch out and acknowledge every possible response from Cat. I tried visualizing her and petting her ears but as expected felt or saw nothing. This is really exhausting, got a headache. I hope I get better soon.

Oh yeah I forgot to mention, I have a real cat too so there's Cat and cat. Things gonna get confusing. But I'm gonna use cat behaviour as reference for Cat too.
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Bernd on May 25, 2020, 06:16:33 PM
Bernd is just some pathologically lazy loser you shouldn't see as a role model.
But yeah, not going back to .info. They would neither let me post smug anime girls nor call people niggers (https://i.ibb.co/wMfkr9W/a-in-a-nutshell.png) so I have no reason to go there anymore.

Giving tupper confidence and reassuring her she can't be harmed by intrusive nonsense is good, just don't overdo it like I did and keep her down to earth.

(https://upload.vaa.red/i/25yLcM.png)

Also I recommend keeping tupper around more or less constantly instead of locking her in some place and only coming to visit for forcing sessions. Intense interaction is important but you can always passive force, talking to Cat, explaining what you're doing and imagining how she'd react.

Using cat for reference can't hurt, Alice took over cat behavior on her own when mature and is actually very cat-like. A cute but fierce predator who likes basking in the sun, high places to look down on others and despite her appearance is very, veery capable of defending herself when confronted. Of course I also expect reports on cat-related stuff, revive cat-thread for this!

>petting tupper on 1st day
H-how lewd!
Faqman would turn in his grave...
pet more and observe reactions!
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Τamamo on May 26, 2020, 05:30:27 AM
Oh man, where do you find all the images?! I can't stop laughing
So far luckily no intrusive things, everything is still very low-level.
Cat is a big person, taller than me so hard to realistically move around. She seems to sleep most of the time with a smug face, only briefly opening eyes now and then to check whats going on. Very much cat.
I tried showing her several things and we watched old south park episodes together but Cat was mostly curled up on my lap, actually her head and paw that fits there, and paid little attention.Not really any reaction. Well she seems relaxed so I guess that's alright.

I tried touching paws and visualizing them in detail. They are huge at least twice a human hand with black shiny claws. I have not tried tickling the hairless parts, apparently called toe beans (https://www.litter-robot.com/blog/2019/09/10/7-fun-facts-about-toe-beans/) yet, that comes later. I learned a new english word from forcing today. Now somebody say this stuff isn't useful

What was the deal with faqman?
It was said his methods are outdated. Can't really remember I read too much. Anyway you're right I will do my own things.
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Bernd on May 26, 2020, 05:10:10 PM
Cat seems to be chill, when will you do the cucumber challenge (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNycdfFEgBc)?
I'm pretty sure tickling toe beans without consent is prohibited by international law.

Faqman was sorta orthodox, like you need to strictly follow procedure x to get result y and totally mustn't do z or else. Remember the whole thing came from an occult corner. Tuppering was serious business in the beginning but it didn't take the ponyfuckers long to realize things are only limited by your imagination. The rest is history.

(https://upload.vaa.red/i/KuAH2.jpeg)
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Τamamo on May 27, 2020, 06:28:24 AM
I see!
I guess it must have been really helpful to have many people starting with a tulpa at a same time and motivating each other with their progress learning from each other, this is very different nowadays.

Cat is still not doing anything, I will puppet her around today if she still is that lazy. Yes, I am impatient I know. Continued visualisation, I'll go for the maid outfit like in the pic for now.  Kept forgetting about the tail entirely until now, how could this happen? I underestimated how hard it is to try to imagine so many different things at the same time. I just focus at a part then move to the next. But I can already see this will take a looot of practice.
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Τamamo on May 28, 2020, 08:06:48 AM
Man I am spent! I did a lot of forcing including moving Cat around until I got batted at. So some response. Or maybe I'm just imagining it.
of course I am, what else
Forced to the point I got strong headaches and turbulent dreams. Not of Cat though. So I'm gonna take it a bit easy today with just narrating.
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Bernd on May 30, 2020, 05:25:44 PM
>when you realize tuppering is not just fun and games but actually hard work and a neverending circle of pain and frustration
(https://upload.vaa.red/i/VZFLx.jpeg)
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Τamamo on May 31, 2020, 07:22:58 AM
Still very much alive
But I guess you're right, really underestimated this. Things have gotten better, starting to get used to it. I'm now active forcing a fixed time 2x a day. Works better than burning myself out. Visualization has improved somewhat and I can do it longer. But only parts of Cat body at the same time. Having her move is more difficult, walking together doesn't work. Thats too much for my brain atm.

How long did it take you to have Alice active most of the time and impose her by your side no matter what you're doing?
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Bernd on June 02, 2020, 04:49:33 PM
(https://upload.vaa.red/i/goUzT.jpeg)

Implying...
For the general feeling of always having her around, honestly I don't know. It worked well after about 3 months, then degraded again to the point of Alice stopping to exist. Just read the diary. Things took a few years to really remain stable. Tupper may be out for some hours but will fight her way back to my attention on her own.
Still if something demanding or interesting happens she is frequently pushed out. I blame it on her being really lazy lately. Blaming everything on tupper is quite convenient and one of the most compelling reasons to make one.

Of course this only works if tupper can actually do something to be blamed for so keep going! And don't forget to involve emotions - mindless forcing to kill time gets you nowhere.
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Τamamo on June 03, 2020, 07:23:36 AM
I see.
Not much to blame Cat for now, still does nothing. Got better at visualizing her including tail but she still is like a doll. A doll I can't make to walk beside me, it's just silly. Wtf am I doing wrong? How the hell did you manage to dance?
The cat is annoying me more than normal during forcing too, guess he feels neglected. Honestly I'm petting Cat more than cat.
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Bernd on June 06, 2020, 05:08:07 PM
(https://upload.vaa.red/i/YV1wz.png)

Walking stuff is hard, no doubt. Also you just started, what do you expect? Take small steps, begin with yourself. Visuzalize walking around, focus on your feet. It helped me to walk with closed eyes while trying to 'see' what my legs are doing. If that works add more. Now do that for a few months and report back...

It took me over a year to get the basics of dancing and it still sucks outside of a few figures I practiced thousands of times. Oh yeah, none of this means things can't be fun. Make a story for everything, utilize music, just do something together, no matter how little it may seem at the beginning. For starters have Cat rate your blind walking. And don't trip over cat, happened to me countless times.
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Τamamo on June 07, 2020, 06:40:52 AM
Yeah will try thx.
Cat is not overly vocal or communicative. Puppeting her into saying something got me some resistance. Does not want, went to sleep. Maybe I need other references than cats?
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Τamamo on June 12, 2020, 06:07:40 AM
Tried different things but went back to daily forcing routine. No progress though
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Bernd on June 12, 2020, 06:21:07 PM
Above all you need to force moar.
Puppetting is good especially if you're an introvert. Don't want Cat to turn into an loser like you right?

The brain will create the easiest thing available from a known template aka 'you' if you don't feed it enough input. Tell Cat how she's supposed to be and narrate lots of examples. Also go on wonderland adventures, no matter how bad visualization is!
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Τamamo on June 15, 2020, 06:28:23 AM
Uh, I got some first reaction, not sure if intrusive thought, not sure if want.
Tried to puppet Cat into hand clapping game patty cake to make use of her huge paws. Visualization was terrible, we both moved like retards and instead of hand on hand I got slapped in face. Cat made a smug grin, flipped me off and left.
What do? I am confused.
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Bernd on June 15, 2020, 04:24:16 PM
Finally you start to provide some entertainment, welcome to tuppering!
> want genki energetic catgirlfriend
> get uncooperative smug lazyass
#justtupperthings

Protip: spray Cat with water as punishment for undesired behavior, post results.

(https://upload.vaa.red/i/dUYvu.jpeg)
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Τamamo on June 20, 2020, 06:26:28 AM
Meh, that's mean Cat probably isnt sentient yet. But I have to confess I was thinking of doing it.
Maybe I should just stop reading these
https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/3918898

Whatever, incident has not repeated. Not sure if thats good either, maybe my brain is now too careful that Cat behaves so nothing interesting happened. Cat has been more cooperative in puppetting but not exactly enthusiastic. Hasn't said a word yet. I tried to go on adventure with her but ended up carrying some very large doll with me that did not move a finger, eh, claw without making her do it. Man this sucks.

And noone registered since I did a month ago, really hoped there would be some activity apart from the usual pervert.
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Bernd on June 21, 2020, 07:43:18 PM
Thing died years ago, deal with it. I told you there won't be anything here except for me - the usual pervert. But you can always circlejerk with some of the guys on IRC. 2spooky4me though.

Now stop being a whiny fag an do something fun!
I bet you haven't even tickled tupper nose with a feather yet.
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Τamamo on June 24, 2020, 07:27:40 AM
One month jubilee!
Things slowed down a bit after initial rush but I think I'm on a good path.
Cat seems to listen when I talk to her and has started to show some autonomy. Doesn't talk yet.
At first I was disappointed forcing was so hard but you get used to it. I must say I am happy. It just feels good looking after Cat. I will focus on brushing her ears and tail for the first month 'birthday', she seems to like that. No nose tickling!
maybe a bit
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Bernd on June 24, 2020, 06:00:36 PM
Congrats on not quitting I guess!

(https://upload.vaa.red/i/6uVz3.jpeg)

I demand a detailed report on the brushing, what did it feel, sound, smell and taste like?
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Τamamo on June 28, 2020, 06:21:01 AM
Yes, month passed really fast. I'm not the guy to give up easily and this is fun.
I have not done much with other senses, just visual is hard enough but I tried to listen what  brushing my cat sounds like. And how his fur feels. Then imagine the same while petting and brushing Cat. The tail is very different because Cat is actually a fox acting like a cat. Very complicated. It's way more fluffy.

Brushing was a bit awkward, Cat is really tall. Imagining her over my lap made no sense except kneeling on the floor with her head on my lap. So I put her on the bed yes I know what you think but not happening
To sum it up Cat was lazy as always but I think she liked it. Also I imagined throwing her a ball and she batted it back with her paw like a tennis player. But man 3D stuff is really hard.

Have not even experimented with other forms yet but I guess it will be useful once Cat does stuff on her own, can't pick up anything with the big paws.
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Bernd on July 03, 2020, 04:20:07 PM
That sounds comfy. Does Cat do stuff on her own already?
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Τamamo on July 05, 2020, 08:13:55 AM
Yes I think Cat does more on her own. Pawed me again but it was nice. And wanders around now inspecting things. Sometimes. Just is so uncommunicative. Don't want to puppet her too much into speaking because it feels like cheating. Or should I?
Viualization is better, no doubt. I can imagine Cat as long as she doesn't move she doesn't

Also I admit to touching Cat all over. Don't feel anything but the idea is nice. Just the ears are so pretty!
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: waffles on July 18, 2020, 03:12:33 PM
Puppeting can be alright, I think if it's more an attitude of imagining what they would do. Not sure how things are going for you guys now - my usual advice is to not constrain interaction to set 'forcing' times, but to narrate etc., but you might be already doing that.

Also, welcome. Like Bernd said this place can be quiet but there are people here. I do enjoy reading the few PRs here once in a while, even if I don't drop by super often. And sorry about not being able to register, that was a result of my incompetence.
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Τamamo on July 19, 2020, 06:56:07 AM
Thanks waffles, nice to see you here!
Registering was a journey but thats makes this place special. I'm good but maybe look more after Bernd before he goes crazy talking to himself.

I did more puppeting as you said imaginin what Cat would do in a situation. I think it works. Bernd also said I should interact with tupper throughout the day to get used to it but it is very exhausting and I still often forget. I am not too good with multitasking. I think I heard something people call tulpish from Cat but nothing really understandable. I do not want to puppet her into talking, I want this to come naturally. Unless thats a complete fail. For now Cat can communicat with body language which mostly turns out as 'don't care'.

I also worked on Cat's full human form, actually the hands as this is necessary. Like a cat she just can't pick up or hold anything with these paws as nice as they look. We were walking outside and I pupetted her into picking up a large feather which was both fun and sad to watch because no opposable thumb. Ever seen a cat trying to pick up a flat object from the ground? Before making her frustrated I decided to pull off the paw-glove. For a moment I was worried I would just rip off her hand and hurt her but then realized how stupid that was. I also told Cat she could just put the gloves on and off as she liked. Or more I told myself. Took some attempts because I had never visualized a human hand before but in the end mission pick up feather was a success. Cat put on her paw glove again and seems to be comfortable with them so I won't experiment on removing her tail and ears until she can talk. How do people with non-human tulpas handle that I get you can make it like in a cartoon where things a caracter holds just stick to the limbs but that's somehow a cheap solution at least to me.
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Bernd on July 21, 2020, 05:24:22 PM
Quote from: Τamamo on July 19, 2020, 06:56:07 AM
maybe look more after Bernd before he goes crazy talking to himself.
That is - very considerate of you, but it's too late for me.
But this is your diary and things seem to be going well even if Cat doesn't talk yet. No worries. Just keep her around and involve her in your daily life like woflo said.
Don't ask me how the guys with animal tuppers handle their form, especially when it comes to possession/switching. My tupper has only one form and that isloli.

But I know exacly what you mean about cats trying to pick something up. Well, they can use their claws to some extent but something smooth like a piece of paper gives them a really hard time. Hence I suggested removable paws which seems to have worked for Cat. Fingers can be hard and outright creepy if you don't visualize them correctly. Reference pics can help.

Also tell me about Cat tulpish.
What is it like?
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Τamamo on July 24, 2020, 07:07:05 AM
Two months!
Bought ice cream to celebrate with Cat.
Visualization is getting easier and longer but still long way to go.

Hard to describe tulpish, maybe like an autokey tune of many words at the same time in your head? I do not really know what Cat's voice will sound like, maybe that's part of the problem. Will practice talking with her. Time for tupper school!
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Bernd on July 27, 2020, 05:09:28 PM
What sort of ice cream does Cat like / dislike?
Have you tried offering her different kinds of food?

Played games with tupper yet?
Try tic-tac-toe (https://tulpanetwork.com/network/1/tic-tac-toe/)
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Τamamo on July 30, 2020, 07:29:16 AM
Wow, I've never seen this thread but it sounds awesome. A bit scary being outsmarted like that. I don't know if I can make Cat interested or play by the rules.
(https://danbooru.donmai.us/data/sample/__tamamo_and_tamamo_cat_fate_and_1_more_drawn_by_keita_naruzawa__sample-940eae0090a2e69d72ab2bbae6324d45.jpg)

About ice cream Cat has licked it very cat-like and then her paws so I guess she liked it but I totally forgot about different flavors and stuff. So many things to pay attention to at the same time still is too much for me. She likes to eat cookies holding em in her paws like a squirrel or hamster. Very cute but somehow weird for someone her size. Maybe at last I'll get fat from tupper craving sweets after it didn't work for you. Is Alice still keeping an eye on your diet?

I try to interact with Cat during the day as much as I can and it works for a much longr time now than in the beginnng. I also talk to her in mindvoice whenevr I have idle time but I still often forget her completely. She doesn't seem to mind. In fact she doesn't seem to mind anything much. I wish she was a bit more attached to me. ;_;
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Bernd on August 06, 2020, 04:45:42 PM
how to get cat more attached to you
1) feed moar
2) pet moar
3) profit

Did you play with Cat?
Alice still reminds me not to eat unhealthy or unneccessary stuff. Or generally do anything she doesn't consider essential, especially when it costs money. Such is life wtih spartan tupper.
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Τamamo on August 08, 2020, 08:26:53 AM
I haven't played with Cat yet but she finally talked!

Have been feeling down lately because of no progress and neglected forcing but when I did again Cat said hey! and Don't leave me! That was heartbreaking but also great. Maybe you need to neglect tupper to get results?
I feel happy and confident again now. Have not had any clear responses from her since then but she tries. I cannot even discribe how her voice felt, it was mindvoice no auditory hallucination but it came from her with a strong feeling. No worries Cat I won't leave you!
But now I need to take this more seriously and do some serious forcing.

Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Bernd on August 09, 2020, 04:39:57 PM
Excellent!

(https://upload.vaa.red/i/2qyKKQ.jpeg)

Now don't you dare to neglect tupper and play tic-tac-toe. Also you need an avatar. Generally more images.
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Τamamo on August 22, 2020, 06:55:10 AM
Tomorrow will be 3 months tupper anniversary!
Sorry for not updating, the month was really busy but I kept forcing. Cat only said a few things, still not talkative. But she can communicate if she want something or it bothers her. So thats a relief and makes things a lot easier.

Playing tic-tac-toe doesn't work, I only played against myself because Cat was not interestet. The girl is not very competitive just lazy. Almost as bad as Bernd. But ot THAT bad.
So, yeah you, if you want an avatar, make me one! I'll take everything but better make it good!
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Bernd on August 25, 2020, 05:08:59 PM
No one beats me at being lazy!

Howzat for avatars?
If you want something specific just tell me.

(https://upload.vaa.red/i/wtcTJ.jpeg)

(https://upload.vaa.red/i/2fCsQy.jpeg)

Tell me more about daily life with Cat.
What are you guys doing together? You need more emotional stuff, emotional stuff is important for tuppers.

Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Τamamo on September 05, 2020, 09:49:35 AM
Haha wow, much appreciated!
I'll take the first one for now.

Sorry for no updates but you were no better. Visualization has become better and clearer, Cat does more stuff on her own like looking around and touching things. Rarely talks on her own and is not active if I do not think about her. So not really autonomous yet. But has strong will and shows what she does not like. Or just refuses to do things I tell her. Petting and brushing seems to be appreciated so I am happy. I did some touch imposition for the fur with cat as reference, I think I am starting to get the hang of this. Just wondering how realistic this can get. I hope much more.
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Bernd on October 01, 2020, 05:05:29 PM
RIP progress
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Τamamo on October 25, 2020, 11:39:45 AM
Yes sadly.

I took a pause but no quit! 5 months anniversary reminded me to get back on track. So not much progress since last update but not worse either. Cat is still lazy and doesn't talk much but she can make herself understood. And still can't be present without my attention. What do I expect, haven't been forcing a lot lately. But I never forgot about her and pet her regularly.
Title: Re: Tamamo & Cat
Post by: Bernd on January 06, 2021, 05:00:53 PM
RIP Cat