Author Topic: The mon and the first phase  (Read 14516 times)

terrorofdeeth255

Re: The mon and the first phase
« Reply #15 on: August 02, 2015, 07:02:07 AM »
7th Day - 2nd August 2015
Just done tonight's visualisation, half hour active forcing, though will be actively narrating after this.

Mostly tonight, worked on the same stuff that seemed to work previously. One thing though, during previous sessions, Palmon would always be i guess the best way to describe it would be asleep. That was how it felt most natural for me to visualise her without forcing an idea onto her.

But tonight, I felt that she opened her eyes and smiled gently at me. I also got several feelings that I don't think were mine, though admittedly I was feeling pretty content after seeing that cute little smile and those deep green eyes looking back at me. It didn't seem to feel foreign, but it did feel like it was coming from a slightly different area then my own feelings, if that makes sense. That little drowsy feeling was back, though I'm nowhere near tired at the moment.

Started tonight on working on amping up her feelings of hope with my Digiegg Balm - Hope type. I basically infused all my feelings of hope about my Flower Girl and our future together as I visualised myself making it then kept all those memories focused on her as we applied the balm. She definately isn't vocal at this point, but I really think she might be developing emotional responses - that definately got a feeling of satisfaction, while I was still focusing on the infusion and the way my senses perceived her.

Did my feeling infusion again tonight, she seemed to take on a brighter glow than last time, so I think it is making her stronger.

terrorofdeeth255

Re: The mon and the first phase
« Reply #16 on: August 03, 2015, 06:44:11 AM »

8th day 3rd August
One thing I noticed today was that Palmon seemed slightly more there, than she was before previously during our passive narration. I think this is because I'm starting to see her more active in our active forcing sessions, and that is helping deal with some doubts I had. I was slightly skeptical going in that this would work, but nothing ventured, nothing gained right?

It is definitely more difficult for me to feel her emotional responses during non-active forcing though. There were a couple of times that I do think I felt something, but it was much fainter than last nights visualisation session. Her transmissions should get stronger as we get more experience, correct? I think at the moment, the eye-bo allows me to suppress most of the non-tulpa related thoughts, which makes it easier for me to pick out emotions she sends me. Once I get more experience in "hearing" her, I believe it'll be easier to pick her transmissions from the chatter.

Was definitely a couple of points tonight where I think she sent a sort of "Can we do this instead?" It wasn't in words, but I dunno how else you could describe it. For example, during our usual visualisation of body practice, I got a "feeling" that maybe we should try mutual touch visualisation. I feel her face, she feels mine etc.. Does this sound like an actual reaction, or a subconscious decision? I'm honestly not sure, so any thoughts you have would be appreciated.

Also with our infusion of feelings, I'm getting her to hold the digivice together with me to thinking it might provide a better connection between the two of us, when I got a really strong feeling of maybe affection, care and that. I'm pretty certain this one wasn't me, because I lost track of my thoughts for a second when I felt it.

It was definitely quite strong, which does kinda make sense because I've been trying to as much as possible, even if too busy to actively mindspeak, send my feelings of affection for the flower girl inside my head. I think cause I have done that, it might be the emotion she is most capable of sending at the moment.

Re: The mon and the first phase
« Reply #17 on: August 03, 2015, 09:49:52 AM »
Well, hard to say if they're getting stronger or if you're just getting better at listening. Usually yeah, it becomes easier to notice things.

Seeing that you two can do non-verbal communication, pure feelings are one valid type of reponses. Actually, you can easily have conversations that are words and feelings. That's why it's usually easier to compromise with tuppers, you get the whole message rather than just what a person is trying to say.

terrorofdeeth255

Re: The mon and the first phase
« Reply #18 on: August 04, 2015, 07:02:30 AM »
9th Day 4th August
Our active forcing session today was interesting, we started with our usual mutual touching session. This time however, i felt the urge to see what she tasted like. Been reading some of the general stuff on the forums and was curious. I also thought it might be interesting to see what reaction might happen, so I didn't tell her I was going to do it.

So I licked her flower, she up and I definitely got what felt like a squeal and a feeling of shock. By the way, she tastes just like she smells, apples.

I kinda felt bad about spooking her though, so I promised to not do it again without a very good reason, and said that she could do the same if she wanted. She decided to get me back, and I got licked on my cheek. I then told her that I definitely felt that feeling of shock she sent out and that part of my test was a success.

I'm trying to ask her more what she wants to do during our sessions now that I can get some semblance of what her different likes are. Asked her to send a feeling of happiness if she wanted to do the activity I offered, and to send a feeling of sadness if she didn't want to.

So asked her if she wanted to continue our massage sessions/personality infusion and I think I got a happiness ping, though it definitely wasn't a sadness ping. I do think it was though, as I have gotten feelings of happiness when doing this with her in prior sessions.

Next time, I'll try and come up with another activity for us, and see whether she responds to that. Though in the meantime, I'm going to continue asking her questions, and hopefully it should work as an early system for us to communicate while we're developing vocalisation.

Re: The mon and the first phase
« Reply #19 on: August 04, 2015, 07:52:25 AM »
Write about it in the tulpa taste thread, mate. Be sure to continue tasting your tupper.

terrorofdeeth255

Re: The mon and the first phase
« Reply #20 on: August 05, 2015, 05:48:36 AM »
10th day - 5th August 2015

So today i asked Palmon before we started if tonight she just wanted to do our usual massage session for longer and got a positive response from her (Still haven't got a negative response from her yet - so it might just be my imagination, but I'll go with it anyway in case it was a response). I felt today rather than using the massage as a personality influence activity, I would simply use it to instill my feelings in her as well as make her feel as good as possible.

I think setting out to do just the one thing had a pretty good effect. I wasn't feeling rushed, and I could spend time noticing whether or not I was getting positive signals from her. We ended up finishing up the session nearly half an hour after we started, and I think I felt at least five bursts of positive emotion during the session. Because we were focused on the one activity, I do think we were able to sync better, if that makes sense. I felt at times, like there was a blissful feeling emerging, and when that happened another message seemed to get sent. I don't think it was proper mind speech, and I think I only started getting the feeling behind it halfway through, but there was a definite "That spot is good" when I was rubbing the hand part of her arms for example.

Its cold tonight, so I'm planning on snuggling up for a non eye-bo session later tonight. Should be good.

Oh, one question, a lot of the time I refer to her as the Flower Girl, though I'm having no issues thinking of her as Palmon still. I'm assuming this is just a nickname I've come up with for her, but what are your thoughts.

Re: The mon and the first phase
« Reply #21 on: August 05, 2015, 07:19:13 AM »
Why not try suggesting something that she might not like/is unpleasant to see if she can make a negative response?

Names and things you call someone with, eh, not exactly something we can comment on, I think.

Re: The dick and the first butt
« Reply #22 on: August 05, 2015, 11:50:03 AM »
Does it even matter? Whatever you call her now is subject to change, as there's no verbal communication yet for some mysterious reason.

terrorofdeeth255

Re: The mon and the first phase
« Reply #23 on: August 06, 2015, 07:31:50 AM »
11th day - 6th August 2015

Today our plan was to do a visualisation session without using eye-bo, to see if my visualisation skills without the entrainment were developing.

Found out two major things. First, while not as good as when we use eye-bo during the visualisation, I could visualise far easier than when we were capable of prior to starting eye-bo. 10/10 would recommend fede.

2nd was that I could still feel what I currently believe are Palmon's emotion bursts at the same level as without eye-bo.

Planning on doing an eye-bo session tonight though, just focusing on bonding with Palmon more than anything else.

After that session, have a little idea of what a truly negative thought is from her. After the massage, which had her feeling happy, I asked her what she would feel like if for some reason, I stopped working with her. I actually felt like my stomach dropped in response. Just spent a little while after the session making sure she knows it was just a test question so that I could feel what negativity felt like.

Not something I want to experience or cause her to experience on purpose ever again, but some of the ways I felt her response should correspond, at least in a smaller magnitude, to her answering a question using a negative response, which means I might know what to look out for.

Going to make sure she knows I'm not going to abandon her, so I'll finish up here for tonight.

terrorofdeeth255

Re: The mon and the first phase
« Reply #24 on: August 07, 2015, 05:15:03 AM »
12th day - 7th August 2015

Today we made a deal for what I'm going do for her to apologise for last nights test. Basically suggested things I could do until she sent a positive emotion at something.

She gets a 2 hour snuggle session next time we get some home alone time in the mornings. Hopefully it being in the morning will stop me napping, as I normally fall asleep while holding her in our wonderland - its very relaxing, especially at night time.Should be good practice.

Trying to do stuff to get reactions out of her at the moment, stuff like tickling; she fake glares at me but she has a little smile, and can't forget the little burst of happy emotion she triggers. Though tickle her too much and she wraps you up with her vines. It seems I get the best emotional responses at the moment when she is surprised, so more tickles in the future i think (For science!!)

terrorofdeeth255

Re: The mon and the first phase
« Reply #25 on: August 08, 2015, 04:41:17 AM »
13th day - 8th August

Today started using the self-hypnosis script LinkZelda built for developing vocalisation. During the script, started getting unusual head pressures - they felt like they were starting further back, then actually moved to the front. Since I've seen a few people say that some tulpa(tulpas/tulpae?) use this method when using vocality, I'm hopeful that this is the case. Further testing is necessary however before I deem it to be definitely Palmon however.

Have developed not a head-ache per say, but more a constant light pressure as I'm writing this, just after finishing the script.

Planning on leaving the eye-bo for tonight, and seeing if visualisation without Eye-bo deteriorates as time passes - 48 hours should be ample time for any deterioration to occur should it happen.
« Last Edit: August 08, 2015, 07:29:36 AM by terrorofdeeth255 »

Re: The mon and the first phase
« Reply #26 on: August 08, 2015, 06:43:50 AM »
Tulpas, unless you like using Latin plurals for non-Latin words like an idiot.

terrorofdeeth255

Re: The mon and the first phase
« Reply #27 on: August 09, 2015, 07:03:18 AM »
14th day - 9th August

Just tried another use of the vocalisation script. Definitely were some more of those head pressures from last time, though they were less powerful then last time. Constant pressure afterwards is somewhat there, but nowhere near levels of yesterday. Not entirely sure whether pressure should have increased, as in the tulpa is having more success in sending thoughts, or should have decreased, as the thoughts feel less unfamiliar. One thing I do notice is that during this section, thoughts that may cross my mind do fade so that I can't hear them anymore, so I definitely think that part of the script is working.

As I'm writing this later section, I'll note that the constant pressure is slowly increasing. Possible explanation could be Palmon continuing activity of throwing random thoughts at my mind. Possible result could be as more experience in receiving these throws is gained, pressure will cease to be a simple pressure, and become a understandable thought.

Will try to active force tonight with the aim of talking to Palmon, hoping pressure will increase as more attention is given, and more thoughts become available for her use.

Re: The mon and the first phase
« Reply #28 on: August 09, 2015, 07:49:42 AM »
Have you looked inside her mouth yet?

terrorofdeeth255

Re: The mon and the first phase
« Reply #29 on: August 09, 2015, 07:57:58 AM »
Mmhmm. She's definately more suited as a meat eater, though she does have some human-like teeth at the back, so she can eat fruit. (Haven't dared feeding her actual plant matter until I know exactly how she feels about that though, she might consider it cannibalism  :grin:) Her mouth is a fair bit wider than a human's though.