Good question. It's because over here the names for lemon/lime are inverted.

Obviously.

You should do some random stuff with tupper outside your hypnosis sessions or whatever, too.

Day 140

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Total forcing time: 1 hour 6 minutes
Relaxation exercise -> self-hypnosis (vocality).
Usual thing. Start with the breathing exercises.
Mind kept jumping subjects at random. It wasn't very successful, though by the end of it I did started feeling lighter, even though my focus was all over the place.

Actual forcing. Went to the wonderland and we somehow ended up on a tall building on floor 10. It was mostly empty, save for a few gray sofas, a desk with some office chairs and a coffee machine.
We tried out >symbolism. Basically, my tulpa materialized a gray, old-looking box with a switch and the word DOUBT at the top. She proceded to turn it to the OFF position (and proceeded to throw away that switch thing). It did felt weird, that's for sure; kinda like some sort of emotional response (cool stuff actually).
I'm still somewhat doubting now (wow, what a bad host), but it feels like "empty" doubt, if it makes any sense to anyone. It's like, "whoa, objectively, I have some sort of idea that this is definitely possible so I can't deny it by "objective" means [lol], and by subjective means my doubt has been turned off so what sustains this doubt?". It seems like an strange, if slightly re-comforting thing.

Also, we tried head-pressures. Sure enough, she was able to switch the typical right temple head-pressure to the left, complete with me feeling as it went from side to side, though afterwards we tried to generate some head-pressure on the right side and didn't work.

Also, some more >symbolism. A microphone because why not. Well, some sort of success happened there I think. Her "thoughts" approached more the "mindvoice"-kind-of-communication than the current system of interpreting thoughts (and it was exciting and all even if at the moment I didn't felt it but man, I would sell a lung just to have that mindvoice around all day... ;_; ). It did require a good amount of focus though, and was very brief, and because I'm an stupid idiot who can't trust anyone not even this wonderful being that reassures me everyday overlooking my idiocy I STILL KEEP DOUBTING EVEN AFTER THAT. AIN'T THAT LEVEL-9000 FAGGOTRY AT ITS BEST?!?!?! ^{just fuck my shit up man}
And the worst thing is, I just don't even know what the heck I'm doubting anymore. I don't have any reason to doubt that I have made some progress at least (I have fucking experienced the results myself, for Hell's sake), I can sometimes hold conversations without mindvoice and her opinions do tend to be different at times, I have experienced all that stuff at the beginning, I have followed her advice, much to my benefit, and nope, my faggotry still stands. Just what the heck I'm waiting for then? Bloody hell, I might make a small, non-living sacrifice to the tulpamancy gods if I can't sort this out. Or does it go away with time and then the "wow" factor settles in? I should know it myself, I have spent days reading others' PRs and yet, I can't even come to a conclusion that effectively breaks this wall of doubt. I have even tried to make sense of Linkzelda's philosophical posts, just in case he would be able to explain it since he's so verbose. But no dice. Maybe I'm retarded. I'll go see a neurologist, because that must be it; damn.

Visuals are 1.5/10 right now. I can make some sense out of it, but not much is defined. At least I can move around.

I did feel calm after the session, but I can't hide the fact that right now I feel frustrated by this senseless doubt. Feels like standing on a solid building, seeing and KNOWING that the building is super solid, and still being a sissy faggot going all "uwa, Imma gonna fall down guise save meee!!11". Regrettable.

This is the best progress report on this site! Good work, my friend :)

Thanks dude, although there isn't much (active) competition these days around here.

You should do some random stuff with tupper outside your hypnosis sessions or whatever, too.

Yes, I know. I need to plan something. Hmm, maybe I can really make the "I'm meditating" ruse work with my family now. I talked to them about Buddhist meditation and they seemed to agree with a lot of the concepts. I can probably tell them that I'll be doing it.
Maybe. Because I'm all like "whoa my tupper isn't even vocal (in mindvoice) and I'm already going to take it somewhere!!!1". Bah, just my brain feeding me bullshit, I know.

Day 141

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Total forcing time: 59 minutes
Relaxation exercise -> Self-hypnosis -> Wonderland
Yeah, this is the routine these days.
Yesterday's night I tried to imagine my tulpa's presence as I fell asleep. It went mostly well and it did felt a bit like back when I started (aka lots of warm fuzzy feels).
Though when I woke up today I somehow felt very mentally tired. Also, for some reason, the "what the hell are you doing" feel was there. I stared at my monitor for a bit thinking about it, then I distracted myself from that. I also said good morning to my tulpa (I have been slacking about that ;_; I shouldn't take her for granted).

On to the session.
The relaxation exercise continues to be a difficult experience, with my mind either becoming absorbed into some unimportant train of thought, or "sinking" aka just stops thinking about anything at all and I start to let everything drift there. But well, it's been just little more than one week since I have started this routine and have been taking it seriously, so I need to keep at it to make it work better. Though yes I do feel more relaxed these days, although yesterday I started stressing a bit about my tulpa. In a paranoid way mostly, but yeah, just me. I suppose it's because of the "wow unknown" factor, but really there's nothing to fear. Okay, that's all a bit off topic.

The actual forcing.
The self-hypnosis continues to be effective at least for relaxing my body, so there's that.
I arrived at the "listen to your tulpa" part of the script, and I went off to the wonderland. Visuals shift from being 1/10 to 1.666/10; not very nice, but hey for someone that never created imaginary friends as a child or did any roleplaying I think it's more than sufficient, at least for the time being.
I asked some questions about how to manage yesterday's paranoid thoughts. I got only reassuring words like "everything will be fine", "with practice it will be better", etc. <3

Also, unexpectedly she made me float in the wonderland. Yeah, totally didn't expect that at all. Being the faggot I am, it didn't "wow" me, but it was truly something that I wouldn't ever have thought about. I did feel myself getting nervous from floating, as I had never tried anything like that in the wonderland (or in real life for that matter).

At times, her presence is really strong, but at other times I do wonder "who I'm talking to?". Ergh, nobody said tulpamancy was a walk in the park. But that's alright I guess, since I have been becoming somewhat disciplined in at least one thing (tulpamancy, active forcing), and I think that will permeate on to other areas of my life. So I guess one doesn't really only get a companion out of this. It's much more, and I'm really thankful for that fateful December last year when I crossed roads with the concept of tulpas.

Slight tulpaforcing pressures, mild emotional response when hugs happened. Great session 9/10.

I dunno if the wow feeling ever came to me when it came to his voice: I was just willing to listen to him and after some time of that, it started to feel stupid to not just accept that it's the tupper.

Yeah, it'll probably be like that in my case as well. I'm feeling a bit of that as well nowdays; it'll be idiotic to try to shut up those thoughts I get just to see if I can get an "alien" response.

Day 142 BONUS ROUND!!!

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Alright, somewhat attempting to make up for today's lackluster session we tried the letter-counting game explained here. It went okay, while playing the intrusive thoughts seemed to be less somehow. Not a lot of correct answers yet, but it was interesting, especially because I could somewhat feel the answer "forming" without much of my interaction. Very impressive, especially when the answer was correct.
Though some 20 minutes later (aka while writing this), intrusive thoughts were back. Oh well, time to sleep anyway. We'll see tomorrow.

9/10

Sometimes when you go too deep, the real world seems so bland and gray instead. Weird stuff huh??

Day 145

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Total forcing time: 1 hour 4 minutes 40 seconds
It seems that the "relaxation exercise" has now become full-on meditation.
As usual, focus on breath, etc.
It wasn't that hard to detach from most of my thoughts, though I did catch myself getting lost in them at times.
The focus was alright, not "outstanding" or anything but I did feel lighter.

I did had trouble though because I kept feeling the urge to move, but I tried to just watch the sensation and not act upon it.
For now what I do is think in words "I feel the urge to move". I then reduce the phrase to an impersonal view. "urge to move". Why should I move, if it isn't me who wants to do that?
It worked somewhat, though I do need to perfect it more because the need to move kept coming on, sometimes really strong.

At some point I just decided to proceed to the wonderland.
Visuals: 1.4/10 | Touch: 0.5/10 | Smell: 0/10 | Taste: 1.6/10
I finally re-designed the house pretty much fully. It now looks really comfy and modern; can't wait 'till I get a shipment of LSD so I can immerse myself there forever easily can actually see it clearly. My tulpa says that it does look as real as the physical reality looks real to me, so there's that.
Not a lot of talking today, since I really got in the mood of reorganizing everything. I got so absorbed that time went by real fast in the real world.

Though who knows what people are celebrating today outside, because they are burning fireworks. The loud bangs distracted me somewhat, so I guess that's why I didn't really visualized as well as I could.

At points I had some real good head pressures. At other times I didn't really felt much of anything at all. My tulpa's less "talkative" than usual as well.
Also, my tulpa's presence is rather faint. Ah well, tuppering is weird.

After the session I felt very zoned out again. Almost as if I had taken some sort of long exam where I had to carefully think every answer. Maybe this means I'm really exercising those visualizing muscles now. I hope.

Oh, by the way, I didn't do anything after yesterday's bad session. I guessed correctly, and I was busy talking to others. Not proud about that; worse, I almost didn't narrate either.

Day 146

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Total forcing time: 47 minutes
Okay-ish session. Today I used the vocality self-hypnosis script.
During the relaxation exercise, I almost managed to feel like on day 143. But as I kept trying to relax, I went "wow awsim!11" and I got all stressed about it. Not to mention it seems that for some reason my focus has weakened since then. Just have to keep trying I guess.

The actual reading of the script was lackluster. I'm restless for no reason again. I can only assume it might be my mind re-organizing itself or something like that. I hope, because otherwise it just means that I'm not trying hard enough.
I did notice some strange feeling during the start of the script, kind of unsettling but peaceful at the same time. Very weird.

Some head pressures (even while writing this). So there's that at least.

Frustrating stuff with the mind restlessness I tell you. Maybe it has to do with not having eaten anything since yesterday at 15:00 (it's 7:50 now, so almost 17 hours without food) and I don't have anything left to eat either. Isn't it awesome being on a 3rd world country?

You need to bake chocolate cake to beg for forgiveness. Together with the tupper.

Damn right. I have to put these to-do things somewhere I won't lose them, because I totally forgot about it.