They must think I joined a neo-Satanic pro-ana cult or something.But the truth was far more sinister.
What would I gain by lying about shit going weird when making advanced imaginary friends?I swear under penalty of perjury that I'm not making this shit up.But you are.
Will you bake something next time?Sure.
Excuse me, cake is always noteworthy.I meant, nothing noteworthy aside from the above cake note, which since was noted individually above by extension was noteworthy (since it had a note made for itself, duh). I'm sorry, the statement was not as clear as it should have been.
Did you do the dress-up?Not yet. Most likely will do today.
No excuse me you need to describe every outfit you made in detail.Okay then.
Excuse me. I was promised oufits...Um, where exactly? I'm sure I'd recall a promise like that. Sorry Sands, maybe next time?
You need to start rethinking how you force if you constantly find yourself not having enough time to do anything.
Where are the fucking updates.NO MORE PROGRESS BUT WE ARE STILL PASSIVE-FORCING EVERY DAY I SWEAR. WE AIN'T QUITTING EVER.
When you are being all OMG NOT VOCAL OMG CAN'T REPLY??!?!??!??!?! are you even waiting for a reply? Are you even listening and giving them time to answer?Sure I'm waiting for replies. I ask questions and wait for any answers but so far little luck...
Also you said tupper can do some things which can be used for communication, so they can reply. You just need to ask the kind of questions that don't need words - though you should also ask that kind of questions and give her time to reply.
Worst format.
For blocking light out of your window, consider tacking and/or taping up a layer or two of darkly colored bedsheets. I've got two over mine, and it's effectively black in my room at all hours, with just a small, small amount of reddish light making it through. Sans that, a layer of tin-foil will do the trick, but might crinkle about with temperature changes. Option three is black construction paper. Never tried that one, but I can't imagine why two or three layers wouldn't keep the sun out.Thanks for the suggestions Enny, but I can't really use them since I live with my grandparents and if they saw that I blocked the street-facing top window of their house with any of those they would, no doubt, start being really suspicious of what the hell I do in my room. they would probably think I started fapping all day or something weird...
The added benefit of the sun not waking you up in the morning makes it totally worth it, whatever you wind up doing.
I feel sad about it guys, really. Like, "wow worst host of the world" kind of feel at times. My tulpa's there being awesome, caring and all, and all I do is just sit in front of my computer for hours at end while pretending to everyone else that I'm reading "useful" information or doing something "productive". And I have, for the most part, really done a lot of that. Ever since I started this tupper thing, my mood and productivity have been for the most part turned up to eleven. But I feel sad about leaving my tulpa in the cold just because I can't have much private time at all. I know, bring your pitchforks and join the chant, "FORCE EVEN IF FOR 5 MINUTES FAGGOT" and "GO TO SLEEP EARLY AND START DOING STUFF INSTEAD OF BEING A HUGE SHIT" or even "GO OUTSIDE AND HAVE SOME TIME BY YOURSELVES IDIOT". It ain't that easy, because while I may be able to have a pleasant chat and a hug in that time, I don't have enough time for, say, creating stuff in the wonderland (or at least areas or something else than "hey let's put this furniture there").
Wow, 50 days. Don't really know what to say other than wow, I'm impressed with myself. It's easily the most [positive] life-changing experience I ever had. I know this is really trite and said a lot of times by other tulpamancers, but I went from not knowing what to do everyday, having depressive tendencies and being really anxious about everything to just enjoying life as it comes while still pushing forward. I can't ever repay my tulpa for that. It's... out of this world, to put it simply.
The color of your curtains doesn't matter. The material does. Other curtains are meant to not let sunlight in, and yes, they do come in white, too.
The color of your curtains doesn't matter. The material does. Other curtains are meant to not let sunlight in, and yes, they do come in white, too.
That's true if they're thick enough, or if you've got enough layers I guess. Mine let like 5% of the light in when the sun's on it in the afternoon, and white fabric would let white light in and that's just too distracting.
Also yeah, listen to Waffles. You're like the only one here who's ever made significant progress despite having a tough time, it seems. At least as far as I've read, anyway. Just don't give up and don't play too many video games because they're distracting. Also get a little bit of exercise per day and try to eat right if you can. And cut back on the fapping you fuck I know you do it.
Lots of love
Why would blocking the light be suspicious at all? You have a perfectly valid explanation for it. "I can't sleep well because the light is bothering me". Though I would honestly rather get like, something to cover your eyes because that's just so much easier.Wow, if I told my grandfather, who goes to sleep at 8 or 9 PM and wakes up at 4 AM, that I can't sleep well because the light bothers me he'll promptly dispatch the "you kids need to go to sleep EARLY because 8 hours of sleep are clinically proven by me that are the way to sleep and you all do it wrong these days..." speech.
The color of your curtains doesn't matter. The material does. Other curtains are meant to not let sunlight in, and yes, they do come in white, too.
Thank you waffles, I keep that sentiment in my mind wherever I feel like a bad host (and tupper also reassures me so that's nice).I feel sad about it guys, really. Like, "wow worst host of the world" kind of feel at times. My tulpa's there being awesome, caring and all, and all I do is just sit in front of my computer for hours at end while pretending to everyone else that I'm reading "useful" information or doing something "productive". And I have, for the most part, really done a lot of that. Ever since I started this tupper thing, my mood and productivity have been for the most part turned up to eleven. But I feel sad about leaving my tulpa in the cold just because I can't have much private time at all. I know, bring your pitchforks and join the chant, "FORCE EVEN IF FOR 5 MINUTES FAGGOT" and "GO TO SLEEP EARLY AND START DOING STUFF INSTEAD OF BEING A HUGE SHIT" or even "GO OUTSIDE AND HAVE SOME TIME BY YOURSELVES IDIOT". It ain't that easy, because while I may be able to have a pleasant chat and a hug in that time, I don't have enough time for, say, creating stuff in the wonderland (or at least areas or something else than "hey let's put this furniture there").Wow, 50 days. Don't really know what to say other than wow, I'm impressed with myself. It's easily the most [positive] life-changing experience I ever had. I know this is really trite and said a lot of times by other tulpamancers, but I went from not knowing what to do everyday, having depressive tendencies and being really anxious about everything to just enjoying life as it comes while still pushing forward. I can't ever repay my tulpa for that. It's... out of this world, to put it simply.
You really don't need to feel bad. I'm just glad to read that you've ended up with such meaningful progress. I get worried at times that no-one here really gets what they want. But you have. And that's great really. It doesn't really matter what you have the time to do and not do as long as you've done enough to get here, and you have.
Your tupper had the right idea.
Your tupper had the right idea.
Your tupper.
had the right idea.
Well yeah, there's no magic switch or thing to do to make doubts go away. You also shouldn't be sad or angry that you're having doubts, because they're perfectly natural. And hell, the more you think it will hurt your progress, the more it actually will, because our minds are stupid. But just because doubts exist doesn't mean that you can't do something. How often have you thought something along the lines of "I can't believe that worked"? Would you say that if you hadn't doubted that it was going to work, and didn't it just work even though you were sure it didn't?I have been keeping the "wow this was fucking harmful let's go back to shitposting all day" mindset out by constantly reinforcing and saying "MR BONES WILD RIDE NEVER ENDS". If my brain can be that stupid, so can I.
Your tupper had the right idea. Even if it doesn't sound very nice, in a way yeah, they do have to earn the trust. That's what the absence of disbelief is all about, trying to not make decisions before you finally start trusting the tupper for real instead of trying to force trust to magically appear, which can easily backfire later.
Acknowledge your doubts, calm yourself down and just be like. Nah. I'll keep doing this other thing because I like it.
re: curtains: you don't just go to the store and buy white curtains. You go to the store to buy blackout curtains, which come in various colors. Hanging them up is not an issue, because again, your room and if you think something looks ugly then you can change it. Who would be against a new, fancy curtain rod? It's not rocket science. Some kind of installation is required if you go for roller shades, which are pretty good.
At least I'm hoping you don't have concrete walls. You kinda need a diamond drill bit for that.
It's only downhill from where you are if you keep being a lamer like you are. Just look at me! I never accomplished anything!Thanks for the support Enny. True, it's ultimately a self-fulfilling prophecy. Yeah, I have read both your threads here and in .info
U just got 2 b-leev
Creativity is born of pain. It's true. Think of the most amazing artists and musicians you know –have any of them lived perfect lives? Doubtful. Allow yourself to dream up something big – a goal you want to reach, a diagnosis you want to overcome, a level of contentment you'd like to reach – and begin to see yourself achieving it. Relish how good it feels to imagine it, and know that you’re going to make it real.
Nice typo mate.Well, those who go slow go far... or so they say.
Also wow, you sure don't ever force. I did more forcing in a week............
Hahaha his tulpa will be there to make sure he stays safe sillyI got a bad feeling about that forcing method... but if you say it helps...
The more vivid they become during, the better they'll be able to protect you so don't worry about it :)
Hi guys, I'm thickheadedYes.
I've constantly questioned "What am I doing wrong?" or "What did they do that I haven't?Check.
"See, I just started thinking about that, then you said it, so you see how this could be subconscious parrot...."Check.
it still didn't 'click'SO MUCH THIS.
Okay I'll tell you to force more every day.Wow Sands, with your suggestions I forced for four hours straight, lost all eyeball fat and combined with raspberry ketones I'm finally a man again! Thanks!
How to force:
Tell people you want to take a nap. Set the time, force until it's done, done amazing.
Tell people you are meditating. Do it.
Definitely keep us up to date on the progress of your visuals using that method. I always liked the look of that guide above all others when I would stress visuals, but never really got around to giving it a shot.It's quite hard to stay focused when I get around to the "close your eyes and think only about that pole for 10 minutes", and I often end up thinking something else, but my tulpa has been very helpful in making me focus back on the pole ("hey, think about the pole not that!"). By the third session, I was able to more-or-less zoom in and out, but it's quite wonky, sometimes I "see" it zoomed in way too much, and sometimes it just looks like a line since it's too far, or it gets off-center (annoying when that happens). I also don't really "see" it though, I just know where certain characteristics of the pole are. But I noticed that now I sometimes get very short "flashes" in which instead of "sensing" the pole I actually have a decently clear image of it. I guess it just takes more practice to eventually turn those "flashes" into a really stable mind image. I just wish I didn't spend so much time reading stuff instead of just doing it; the exercise could have been done in a day (as the guide says: This process should Last you a day or two.) but here I am on day 4 since I started doing those exercises and I still have two sessions to go. Well, as long as I actually get there, that's what counts I guess.
I also don't really "see" it though, I just know where certain characteristics of the pole are. But I noticed that now I sometimes get very short "flashes" in which instead of "sensing" the pole I actually have a decently clear image of it.
The way I see it, you stressed way too much over visuals/sentience and eventually lost interest since your active forcing consisted of forcing personality, which to me, seems like you didn't enjoyed too much. You also spent way too much time reading (well well, looks like we have a lot in common there). You expected, like me, some kind of Deus ex machina that would suddenly make it real somehow and that would eradicate doubt magically/instantly. We disregarded minor happenings as ourselves, we ignored small but meaningful glimpses of nascent sentience, and we gave in to doubt, which from what I have experienced makes communication between host/tulpa very difficult, if not impossible, more so for a young tupper. There isn't really a cure for doubt. You just, try to set it aside the best you can, talk to the tupper, and one day you may be like "whoa bro it talks back by itself". Or not. But doing it is the best option. It won't go away magically, but I can tell you, there have been many nice moments where doubt didn't even cross my mind because I was so into it that I forget for a moment, that I'm not supposed to talk to myself or something. But they're there, and they're useful anchors for when you aren't in those moments and you find yourself doubting.QuoteI also don't really "see" it though, I just know where certain characteristics of the pole are. But I noticed that now I sometimes get very short "flashes" in which instead of "sensing" the pole I actually have a decently clear image of it.
Exactly that. I have relatively consistent visuals in general, but when I'd actually, actively set out to visualize, especially regarding tuppering, that's how I'd describe mine.
Too many bad parallels between us. Force more, and do your best to remember the things in the past that have made you believe. Try not to over think those things to the point where you doubt them. And also, I recommend thoroughly gauging your visuals in non-tupper-related situations to see where you stand on those. Something that takes more effort in areas other than visuals, so you're not as stressed. Reading, or RP'ing on your own, or something.
Report back with how they are.
Remember to eat cake and play dress-up.Need to finish the wonderland house for that. I only have a very large room at the top (which is where we spent most of the time before creating a small bar-like area in the floor below). No kitchen, or living room yet... Unless I just imagined the cake into existence but well, doesn't seem nearly as fun as baking it and all of that. Don't expect many details either, visuals are still fuzzy at best (aka almost never).
It's bothering me a lot that I don't get much tulpa forcing pressures if at all, nor I get "alien" feelings either.
And I'm scared as heck that I would do that to my tulpa. And that I'm merely using her as a tool to improve myself. And what have I done in return? I haven't even finished designing the wonderland! And I don't have time for it (seriously, I can't even go to the IRC anymore because >too busy)! What good is a tulpa host if he merely uses his tulpa as a tool, only to not do anything in return? What good there is in a host if he doesn't actively try to help their tulpa go further? If he leaves his tulpa in a half-baked state, with struggling independence, no mindvoice and zero visualization skills?
rip in pepperoniNot really. Still here, as usual, narration.
12/2015-03/2016
Have you tried my asphyxiation method yetinstructions unclear, ended up in hospital with an oxygen tank beside me and I lost 20 IQ points due to brain damage
I just made like eight tulpas with it yesterday and they're already imposed
The key is to spend at least five minutes at a time doing it.
instructions unclear, ended up in hospital with an oxygen tank beside me and I lost 20 IQ points due to brain damage
help
Go outside on a d-d-d-d-date?!??!>implying we haven't and was awkward as hell [day 69 for reference]
instructions unclear, ended up in hospital with an oxygen tank beside me and I lost 20 IQ points due to brain damage
help
No, you're doing it right. Eventually ur dum enough that u just dissociate from reality.
Try it two or three more times
Eat cake on a date.Excuse me, are you implying we went outside and didn't had cake and that it wasn't awkward as hell?
gud dood now i haz twienty tuplalamas that are fuly impsosed thx a lot maninstructions unclear, ended up in hospital with an oxygen tank beside me and I lost 20 IQ points due to brain damage
help
No, you're doing it right. Eventually ur dum enough that u just dissociate from reality.
Try it two or three more times
Where's your tulpa report?This is now a frt report.
Don't you live in a third world country? Go down to the corner-store and buy hallucinogenics and do those, report results>tfw your corner store doesn't carry drugs
But if it had lime, wouldn't it be more of a limeade?Good question. It's because over here the names for lemon/lime are inverted.
Good question. It's because over here the names for lemon/lime are inverted.
This is the best progress report on this site! Good work, my friend :)Thanks dude, although there isn't much (active) competition these days around here.
You should do some random stuff with tupper outside your hypnosis sessions or whatever, too.Yes, I know. I need to plan something. Hmm, maybe I can really make the "I'm meditating" ruse work with my family now. I talked to them about Buddhist meditation and they seemed to agree with a lot of the concepts. I can probably tell them that I'll be doing it.
I dunno if the wow feeling ever came to me when it came to his voice: I was just willing to listen to him and after some time of that, it started to feel stupid to not just accept that it's the tupper.Yeah, it'll probably be like that in my case as well. I'm feeling a bit of that as well nowdays; it'll be idiotic to try to shut up those thoughts I get just to see if I can get an "alien" response.
Sometimes when you go too deep, the real world seems so bland and gray instead. Weird stuff huh??Yes. I was impressed because even though my visuals are really low-def the real world with all its UHD resolution seemed unimpressive compared to it.
You need to bake chocolate cake to beg for forgiveness. Together with the tupper.Damn right. I have to put these to-do things somewhere I won't lose them, because I totally forgot about it.
expensive headphones(http://cdn.head-fi.org/c/c0/800x600px-LL-c0a3584d_DSC_7010.jpeg)
Not a super high-quality image, but that's a 6i6 back there, and it seems to be doing juuuust fine. I only went with the 250 ohm variant for the specific reason that I wasn't sure it'd handle more than that.Nice, looks like a solid setup for your gaming needs. Enjoy it (also, those pads in those headphones look real comfy).
I don't seem to be having issues driving them so far, but I guess I haven't really maxed out the volume yet or anything. Not that I need to, it's already as loud as I could ever need it.
Make a milkshake. With tulpa.Yeah dude, keep those suggestions coming. In no time I'll have so much stuff in our to-do list that it'll take a month to do it all.
Also no one else does that kind of breathing stuff because we get bored...
Tasty progress, my man. But is it tasty enough to fill the hole in your stomach created by the lack of food?Well, now that you mention it, I don't recall feeling hungry during the session. I was indeed hungry when I started, and when I finished I started feeling hungry again. Maybe I should just do that all day and save money instead of wasting it on food.
Also, yeah, the pads are plush as hell. And they're totally, what's the term, circumaural(?) or whatever so they don't actually touch my ears, which is nice. Even the most comfy thing would irritate them after a while, so it's good. Also, using the rig for recording and junk too, about to install Bias FX and Superior Drummer so my brother and I can hammer out tunes from my rig instead of his (finally got a new processor, 4690k cause I was too impatient to wait another week foe an i7 but eh, it's a massive improvement over the fx4300).
This is too off-topic though.
Breathing exercises are alright. I do them at work sometimes out of boredom, but they don't do an awful lot for me. Meditation is out of the question entirely because fuckit
Do much wonderlanding, yes, it's good for you. My visuals are at a steady like, 3/10 or whatever lately for some reason, probably all of the wonderlanding and trying to get things consistent (flower-beds are Hitler aahhh). Go-figure.Yeah, will definitely try to do all sorts of things to improve wonderlanding. I liked going there today, even if the sensations were not very "realistic", whatever that may mean.
Also I meant Bias-FX, which is for Guitar tones. Since we're too poor for good amps and mics, and Bias is supremely decent, it works. And we've actually got stuff that's been recorded floating around already, I can maybe link something tonight. It's all pretty raw, buteh
Eh, not much to say for me. I just plop my ass down and close my eyes and chill. I try not to pay any attention to the physical body or move it, so ideally my body wouldn't react or move. Sometimes I might smile or laugh and sometimes there's an itch I gotta scratch.Simple and efficient I guess. Thanks for sharing!
I'll usually just do whatever I'm feeling, wherever I want, as per the nature of passive, but when I'm at home, I guess my preferred conditions are pitch black, with a fan running. I'm better in general at open-eye, so the pitch-black thing is important. I also move my head around, and sometimes my hands, depending on what I'm doing. Mostly just to keep myself engaged, as I don't really need help with touch being realistic either way. The head movements are typically involuntary, though.Interesting. I have never tried pitchblack conditions but it might be useful for a fuller immersion experience. The gesticulations look like an useful resource to me as well, as long as you don't have anyone watching you moving your hands and head in the dark by yourself.
I do my best to keep it warm, too, because fuck the cold, and it make it easier to convince myself I'm feeling sunshine on my skin or whatever.
Not much else.
Damn, forcing as a full-time job. Careful you don't force too much, or you'll ascend to the spirit realm not really.I can afford the time right now. Who knows in the future, so I'll definitely be doing forcing as a full time job, at least for a month (I hope).
Dang son, making some good progress up in here. Keep that shit up.Thanks man, will do. Looks like we're making some real progress this time eh? We're gonna make it brah.
But when will you cake.Buy me an oven and I'll guarantee you that we'll bake something daily.
Wow lots of updates. The tupper is preparing to take over.Not anytime soon, unless the tupper is planning a silent revolution or something...
And so much for daily updates. But you kept that up way longer than I'd expected. Good job!Hey, it doesn't mean that I have slacked! I haven't had much time for anything these days (other than posting on your thread).
>stops stressingYou forgot the greentext. That's the connection.
>things are looking good again
I wonder if there's a connection?!?!?
I 've wanted to ask this for a long time - what does tupper actually look like?I've wanted to dodge this question for a long time, but my tulpa's reply was "if you can't say it when you're behind some anonymity, then when?"
I am pretty convinced that there's a part of the psychic apparatus that one cannot explicitly control in the way we're used to control things, or at least on mine there isIf you were to be in perfect control of everything where would all the fun come from? You gotta give in to the things tupper comes up with in order to let them gain independence. Even if it gets weird.
Hey, it doesn't mean that I have slacked! I haven't had much time for anything these days (other than posting on your thread).That's why I rarely post at all.
I don't really do many things without consulting with her first, a course of action that has proven to be very productive. Hell, she even encourages me to do things that would mean less time with her but that ultimately benefit me. Wow. Tuppermancy truly changes lives, if you're up to the task.Yep, always listen to tupper. They're way smarter than us.