Well, my tulpa's form was originally a "standard" female with honey eyes, long hair that was this khaki/very light colored tone or something (recalling this from memory, I don't have any notes left from that time, and I don't have any reference pics either), used a maid uniform (yeah, whatever, it's about to get much stranger anyway), had these bracelets with blue (or were they green?) stones, and shiny golden shoes. Looked like someone aged around 18-21 years old. And his creator looked at her and thought it was good. Full 3D 4K resolution form, no 2D or anything.

But somewhere along the line (it was somewhere in January I think? maybe this report contains info about that, can't be bothered to check right now) that was all tossed out of the window and one day well, I still can't really believe what happened there... (let the judging and drumrolls begin)

She deviated into (lord have mercy halp me) a loli, blonde, green eyes [which is funny because I was really into the "nope, green eyes aren't pretty" camp before that] and seems to be some sort of fox-girl. Whoa, that's when I said "I DEFINITELY DIDN'T DO THAT". I have asked her about 40 times if that was really intentional and if that isn't an intrusive thought and if that she's sure and... well, lets just say that it's a miracle I haven't been punched for asking that many times. Also, transitioned into 2D, anime style because [WHY.jpg] and has more than one tail for reasons not yet known to the person that's writing this right now (or because I used to read way too much stuff on Wikipedia [see also linked word above because that's the closest thing I have to explaining some things])...

But who an I to decide what she wants anyway. So I let her be (and she's thankful for that, like, reminding me that she even thought I would reject that change or something). I got no idea from where that came from... or maybe it was because I found out about thoughtforms on a fateful (and one-time) trip to /monster/... thanks Obama thanks Fortuna. I never visited again to be honest, because 2lewd4me and all that (living with people checking into your room every hour or so doesn't help. Not that I'm interested in visiting again thank you very much). I don't recall staying much time there, and it was when I was checking out other boards (back when I used my laptop's screen that isn't FUCKING HUGE THAT IT LIGHTS UP THE ENTIRE STREET) because the only place I visit on the chans is /news/ (and /tulpa/ when there's nothing to do aka NEVER). Thanks Fortuna again.

*sigh*

That's why I feel so much frustration when I doubt her because what more proof than that for sentience or whatever? People will think "get a load of this guy" but I don't watch chinese cartoons (I used to way too long ago before I even knew that they were worshiped by neckbeards and weeaboos, when I was like 6 or 7 years old), I don't know any cliche anime phrases (other than the ones that occasionally are said on forums and reddit/other sites) and I definitely don't watch or fap to hentai (opening those images on a 32" screen facing the windows while living with your grandparents = maximum shame), so really, if Sigmund Freud could please come over here and psychoanalyze me he probably would have a blast. Like whoa. I used not to believe that much on >the unconscious, but really after that I believe it must be a thing... [I hear ya shouting right there Sands, but this experience... flabbergasting. Maybe one day you'll have something similar or not but although I can't convince anyone of it I am pretty convinced that there's a part of the psychic apparatus that one cannot explicitly control in the way we're used to control things, or at least on mine there is]

I got no reference images and haven't had either time or patience or determination or courage to... look for something like that... so you'll have to imagine something (sorry aphantasic people reading this) and it'll probably be close enough.

It has been interesting to say the least. I never ever in my wildest dreams would have thought about something like this. I feel really self-conscious talking about it because it makes me look like a real weird dude that probably has no life but it's quite the opposite these days.

The... erm, apparent age thing is also something I would have preferred to keep to ourselves, but it's what it is really. I have grown to appreciate her braveness in well, making such a bold change, even though it makes me utterly uncomfortable to talk about it publicly, and has made seeking reference images well, pretty much impossible for the time being, so I want to work up my visualization skills because of that.

Her character became much more lively around that time and her advice much more wise. More than once following her advice has provided excellent results, be it making a simple decision such as what to eat today or something work-related. It has been really somewhat of an inner struggle at times for me to accept her form, simply be because it's >loli or because >monstergirl. But at the end of the day I do really appreciate her as a person in earnest, and not just freak out because she decided to look like that. I mean, it's really not that I'm like "eww, ugly" or anything (entirely the opposite really somehow), it has more to do with how I would explain this when someone asked. Or how would things turn out if someone found out. I guess at this point this comment makes no sense anymore. But you asked so...