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Let's Experience Morrowind (With Many Images)

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Darker:
This is a great idea. I started elder scrolling on Oblivion and never got around to playing Morrowind. I’m glad you got the mods too. That should fix the most glaring issues, as expected from Bethesda.

So we barely start the game and there’s this half-naked elven pirate gypsy slut staring at us. Not the most comfortable greeting, I guess. Well, at least the guards look okay. Not much else to say, it’s just the classic prisoner start after all.. Woah, is that a giant goddamn flea with tentacles in the background? Let’s just keep a safe distance, for now.

First, let’s start by thinking about the race. Stats and Bonuses don’t really matter, you should only care about flair. The rest can be easily overcome through brute force and willpower. So these are our options:

Elves: Gay. Kind of cute, though, but that’s it.
Argonians: Ugly, scaly and smelly. Just go back to your damn marsh.
Khajit: Are you a furry? Stop drinking skooma.
Orcs: Nope.

Alright. Now that we've decided to go with humans, I'll open up your eyes to the only obvious choice.

Nords.

What? Nords? Yeah, nords. Those guys are simply a bunch of badass motherfuckers. They can easily kick every other race in the ass, and here’s why: these assholes came here all the way from Skyrim. While you were too busy suckling your mommy’s breasts and walking on all fours, these glorious bastards were out there wrestling against polar bears. In the snow. Naked. They were punching snow trolls in the face and laughing about it. Yeah. They can also grow epic beards and drink many gallons of milk in a single day. Those guys are motherfucking Vikings. They can take punches to the face. They can take magic blasts to the face. Doesn’t really matter, nothing will stop them from ripping you apart. Many of the dragonborn were nord too. Yep, those fuckers have dragon blood running in their veins. Basically, nothing stands between a nord and their goal. Not for long.

Okay, now that the race is settled, let’s talk about classes. Well, the class doesn’t really matter. You could be a mage and explode everyone with a flick of your fingers. You could be an archer and kill everyone with an arrow to the face before they even see you. Or you could just, you know, pick up a big sword or axe and start tearing everyone to shreds. Yes. I promise I won’t stop you.

Sands:
Excuse me orcs are elves.

PS. Nords suck. Also suggest names and genders.

Darker:
Well I’ll vote for male, but if you can make a female character that looks pretty cute it’d be fine too.

I’m not too much into choosing neemu. So, off the top of my head:
Sandsgei, the Warrior of the Dunes. Sir Fartsalot. Colonel Cuddles.
Males: Jack, Joseph, Aleksandr, Chuck…
Females: Pandora, Umbra, Scarlet, Sarah, Luna, Sophia…

You can always play around with titles or surnames too.

PS: Don't ask me to choose only one. My choice would probably be Sandsgei.

MegaBusta:
Male nord named MOUNTAINFIST THUNDERBEARD here to KILL ALL FAGGOT ELVES.

Syrup:
I vote for a male Redguard - the picture supplied resembles Roswell too much to let pass. He can be called Wellrose or Sax.

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