Author Topic: The Change Agent  (Read 14115 times)

Re: The Change Agent
« Reply #15 on: November 05, 2015, 05:08:44 PM »
Good idea. Flinging yourself off the cliff is realism.

Re: The Realistic Agent
« Reply #16 on: November 06, 2015, 01:51:55 PM »
Well, by realistic, I mean according to the established laws of physics observed from reality. I wouldn't be able to just fly through the air with nothing to support me, given the physical rules of this reality. But if I were to fling myself from a cliff, I would fall. It's an imaginary scenario in a world created solely for me in which to experiment, but it follows the rules of physics as well as I can remember them.

As for how realistic it is to make such a decision, well, that's irrelevant. I can't really die anyway, unless I make the world a fictional universe in its own right and the "character" I inhabit in that world dies by falling to their death. But this world is not one such. It's just a sandbox.

Re: The Change Agent
« Reply #17 on: November 06, 2015, 04:19:56 PM »
You should try to become a mutant and shapeshift your arms into wings for more SCIENCE. That would be slightly more anatomically probable I guess, still not exactly realistic but hey. Maybe it'd feel neat.

Re: The Settling Agent
« Reply #18 on: November 06, 2015, 06:33:50 PM »
Tomorrow perhaps. Oh yeah and I should write whatever I did today. Yesterday technically.

6 November 2015

Flew. There wasn't much to feel but the wind rushing against me, so I scrapped that and settled for feeling the ground below me. I did try a bicycle. Once again, like the other days, it was slightly easier to focus on the physical sensations from my true form. Maybe this is how it is for people with phantom limbs. The way one perceives those "inner sensations on an inner body" is not quite the same as with regular, tactile hallucinations.
« Last Edit: November 17, 2015, 01:47:44 PM by Fede »

Re: The Change Agent
« Reply #19 on: November 07, 2015, 09:47:38 AM »
Human mind is pretty weird. Have you petted imaginary cats yet?

Re: The Feline Agent
« Reply #20 on: November 07, 2015, 03:08:10 PM »
Yep.

7 November 2015

I used Eye-Bo, the ocular fitness program. It helped me pay attention more, and made the sensations more long-lasting every time I'd remember to feel them. The numbness of the physical body seems to come on its own automatically every time I enter my true form, so sitting up was and is not an issue. So I don't think I'll be lying down anymore.

I petted a black cat that I created. It was soft, furry, and all that, although I prefer touching myself. That's usually more gratifying because I can feel that much more than when I'm touching something that doesn't belong to my body. Like, I literally spend the majority of my time in these sessions touching my arms, hands, torso, and so on just to confirm the reality that I'm in. It helps a lot. Slightly more solid every day.

I also grew two additional arms. Two on each row, that is. Six in total. I was able to feel them all. It was odd, though, and naturally a bit more difficult because I had to keep track of all these extra limbs, and I'm spending enough time as it is feeling my existing ones. Post script: maybe I'll actually remember to make wings and not arms tomorrow.
« Last Edit: November 17, 2015, 01:47:39 PM by Fede »

Re: The Change Agent
« Reply #21 on: November 08, 2015, 09:27:37 AM »
>although I prefer touching myself

Lewd.

Re: The Woody Agent
« Reply #22 on: November 08, 2015, 02:05:49 PM »
I am exploring the unknown.

8 November 2015

I went for a walk in the woods nearby earlier today. I constantly thought of my imaginary body walking in the same spot as the physical body. At times, it felt quite like I was more in my imaginary body, standing there, looking at trees. I think because I walked, stood, and turned around with the physical body, the memories of the tactile sensations were so recent that it became easier to simulate those same sensations for my imaginary body. Makes me wonder if I always ought to do something similar, rather than sitting or lying completely still. Like, if it's better to focus on moving the physical body around as a help for making the imaginary sensations strong first, and then focus on complete numbness of the physical body, rather than trying to do both numbness and sensations at once.

It's kind of cool how quickly I've been able to progress with this thing. I should've done it from the very beginning. Maybe this is what I get for initially dismissing wonderlands, and the whole "feeling like you're elsewhere" thing. In retrospect, I probably also did the delusion kind of wrong. But, I didn't want to actually be too specific when executing it, so I never directly placed myself anywhere in the world I constructed. I was watching memories. Thinking I could never create the perfect scenario, I instead waited for it to come to me. Which it never did.

Post script: I forgot to do wings. Maybe I'll do them anyway and edit this post.

Post post script: one week anniversary.

Post post post script: I like apple sauce.
« Last Edit: November 17, 2015, 01:47:14 PM by Fede »

Re: The Change Agent
« Reply #23 on: November 08, 2015, 02:49:22 PM »
Moving definitely makes you feel things faster/better/whatever I dunno it's easier?

Go for a swim next, see if you can feel wet.

Re: The Winged Agent
« Reply #24 on: November 09, 2015, 04:37:18 PM »
9 November 2015

I've noticed something kind of interdasting. For some reason, it's actually easier for me to feel a body I'm looking at in the third person, rather than when imagining I'm in it from a first-person perspective. Which would seem counter-intuitive, but it's not. I'm thinking it's because I'm looking at the entire body that my attention kind of stays slightly longer or something. When you have the entire body in view, no limb escapes your attention, and when you're new to this whole "feeling an inner body" thing, they easily do.

I grew wings and flew. They were large and wide, covering my entire back and, when extended, spanning 2-3 metres on each side. They had white feathers because why not. I didn't swim because I forgot about it, although I did swim "underground" on 4 November and felt this kind of cold wetness then. Maybe I'll remember to do it properly tomorrow.
« Last Edit: November 17, 2015, 01:47:09 PM by Fede »

Re: The Properly Swimming Agent
« Reply #25 on: November 10, 2015, 02:54:41 PM »
10 November 2015

I entered a different body this time, although still female, as it's more interesting to explore the opposite gender when you've never been it before. I'll be an animal eventually.

I swam in the middle of a boundless ocean for a bit, during this really grey and windy weather. I was completely naked. Then I spawned this yellow lifeboat big enough for 2-3 people, and I went up into it. I hugged myself to preserve body heat, but the wind made me shiver. In this case, I had hair reaching to the middle of my back, and seeing as it was full of water, it made me even more cold. I stood up at one point, fully erect, but still shaking. Then I hurriedly sat down again.

And that was that.
« Last Edit: November 17, 2015, 01:47:05 PM by Fede »

Re: The Change Agent
« Reply #26 on: November 10, 2015, 05:30:26 PM »
Have you ever considered using one of your former tuppers as body?
I'd imagine it would be easier than designing a new imaginary body from scratch.
How realistic would you rate your sensations? Surely hard to describe, can it be compared to (lucid) dreaming?

Also I'm surprised the topic of eating cake in your alternative body hasn't been touched yet.
Sands, I am disappoint.

Re: The Change Agent
« Reply #27 on: November 11, 2015, 02:19:43 PM »
Excuse me you can only eat cake with tuppers?

Re: The Filthy Agent
« Reply #28 on: November 12, 2015, 03:00:49 PM »
I was busy the other evening, so I didn't get around to posting stuff, although I did write some of it down.

Have you ever considered using one of your former tuppers as body?

No. Tried it today. Didn't feel any different.

How realistic would you rate your sensations? Surely hard to describe, can it be compared to (lucid) dreaming?

If we pretend my imaginary body is the only thing I can feel, I'm currently able to hold either all or nearly all of my body within focus; as in, aware of my skin rubbing itself, clothes pressing against my skin, and so on. I don't know if that tells you anything. It's not tactile hallucinations, because the two bodies are separate.

Using my imaginary body, I touch my leg with my hand. It's as vivid as it needs to be, but that doesn't mean I'm feeling anything on the physical body's leg. I sit on a wide, open plain, and a fierce wind is blowing in my direction, but that doesn't mean I feel any pressure on the physical body. I stand in the middle of a giant ice sheet, but that doesn't mean I feel cold on the physical body. So how do I measure vividness?

And I'm not a lucid dreamer, so I'm not at liberty to compare.



11 November 2015

Not much to say. Ate cake. I guess I can talk about how I'm currently doing this, as it's not exactly the same as when I began. It's these technical details I find to be the most useful when people write about their mental experiences. Something to look back on.

Right now, I'm focusing on my imaginary body both passively and actively. On my way to and from work, I spend perhaps 10-20 minutes in total immersing myself into feeling another body. Then I spend another half hour at home while watching Eye-Bo (Gamma). I'm more focused on making the feeling of being in another body strong first before trying to fully make this body numb. I figure if I can't focus well enough on "the other body" while trying to ignore this one, it would be difficult to ignore it in the first place when my presence in the "other body" wouldn't be as strong, or stronger. But I'm getting there. I'm also switching between different bodies for the sake of experimentation. I have one or two I stick to, and I identify with those to a degree whenever I inhabit them, but the whole "identification" thing isn't my primary focus as it is. I'll get back to that, because it's still my ulterior goal.



12 November 2015

Tried entering the body of Louis. Not much different than feeling any other body. The whole thing with being "better at imagining tuppers" doesn't apply to me. I feel any body equally well, as the physical sensations are mostly the only things within my attention. There are some visuals and sounds, but they're supplementary.
« Last Edit: November 17, 2015, 01:46:58 PM by Fede »

Re: The Change Agent
« Reply #29 on: November 13, 2015, 08:03:14 AM »
Awful typo. I won't tell you where it is so you'll panic and look for it for ages.

You should draw in your imagination. Can you keep focusing on your amazing art? No cheating and just poofing it into your mind premade and all.