1
Tulpa Diaries / Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« on: June 14, 2014, 01:00:01 AM »
Last post here. I may continue on Tulpa.info.
Happy Forcing.
Happy Forcing.
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2
Tulpa Diaries / Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« on: April 25, 2014, 02:11:57 AM »
Was busy with some other things, here are a few of my journal entries.
April 21, 2014 - Day 374
Burmese siddha asana, mukul mudra.
Shockks Exercise Results, Day 31/108
100
Various peripheral thoughts, maintained focus. Strong connection and clarity in pars of the visualization.
--
April 22, 2014 - Day 375
Burmese siddha asana, mukul mudra.
Shockks Exercise Results, Day 32/108
23, 100
1) Distracted by thoughts of a game I played.
2) Visuals not a s clear as some other times but they were much more stable with few other minor thoughts. Also mental animation rendering of Seph's arm drawing the numbers was perfect occlusion where her arms movement blocked my view of parts of the numbers. Definite increase in complexity while maintaining visual forms.
What was different about the highest score today was I was very inwardly focused on maintaining a relaxed body nd stable posture without effort, like I was relaxing down into the position.
--
April 23, 2014 - Day 376
Burmese siddha asana, mukul mudra.
Shockks Exercise Results, Day 33/108
100
Greater number of misc. thoughts occuring alongside the focused visualization today.
--
April 24, 2014 - Day
Sitting in a chair, mukul mudra.
Shockks Exercise Results, Day 34/108
100
Various thoughts alongside the forcing of Seph and the numbers today.
April 21, 2014 - Day 374
Burmese siddha asana, mukul mudra.
Shockks Exercise Results, Day 31/108
100
Various peripheral thoughts, maintained focus. Strong connection and clarity in pars of the visualization.
--
April 22, 2014 - Day 375
Burmese siddha asana, mukul mudra.
Shockks Exercise Results, Day 32/108
23, 100
1) Distracted by thoughts of a game I played.
2) Visuals not a s clear as some other times but they were much more stable with few other minor thoughts. Also mental animation rendering of Seph's arm drawing the numbers was perfect occlusion where her arms movement blocked my view of parts of the numbers. Definite increase in complexity while maintaining visual forms.
What was different about the highest score today was I was very inwardly focused on maintaining a relaxed body nd stable posture without effort, like I was relaxing down into the position.
--
April 23, 2014 - Day 376
Burmese siddha asana, mukul mudra.
Shockks Exercise Results, Day 33/108
100
Greater number of misc. thoughts occuring alongside the focused visualization today.
--
April 24, 2014 - Day
Sitting in a chair, mukul mudra.
Shockks Exercise Results, Day 34/108
100
Various thoughts alongside the forcing of Seph and the numbers today.
3
Tulpa Diaries / Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« on: April 20, 2014, 07:50:37 PM »
April 20, 2014 - Day 373
Burmese Siddha Asana, mukul mudra.
Shockks Exercise Results, Day 30/108
5, 100
1) Lost focus on Seph and the numbers.
2) Many variations and peripheral thought, some fluctuations in visual clarity. Did not lose focus.
Focus on gratitude and camaraderie was distinct in highest scoring session today.
Burmese Siddha Asana, mukul mudra.
Shockks Exercise Results, Day 30/108
5, 100
1) Lost focus on Seph and the numbers.
2) Many variations and peripheral thought, some fluctuations in visual clarity. Did not lose focus.
Focus on gratitude and camaraderie was distinct in highest scoring session today.
4
Tulpa Diaries / Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« on: April 20, 2014, 04:26:25 AM »
April 19, 2014 - Day 372
Burmese Siddha Asana, mukul mudra.
Felt very tired since I stayed up late and got up early. Drank some stimulants and did exercise before forcing, so I back to normal with good focus.
Shockks Exercise Results, Day 29/108
100
Sporadic peripheral thoughts, and was able to maintain focus on Seph and the numbers.
Decided to stop talking about Seph to anyone unless they ask me directly, for some time due to some comments recently. I'll still be logging my progress.
Burmese Siddha Asana, mukul mudra.
Felt very tired since I stayed up late and got up early. Drank some stimulants and did exercise before forcing, so I back to normal with good focus.
Shockks Exercise Results, Day 29/108
100
Sporadic peripheral thoughts, and was able to maintain focus on Seph and the numbers.
Decided to stop talking about Seph to anyone unless they ask me directly, for some time due to some comments recently. I'll still be logging my progress.
5
Tulpa Diaries / Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« on: April 19, 2014, 04:52:18 AM »
April 18, 2014 - Day 371
Burmese Siddha Asana, mukul mudra.
Did these exercises very late at night before going to sleep
Shockks Exercise Results, Day 28/108
12, 1, 4, 15, 42
1) Distracted by thoughts of communicating with someone.
2) Lost sight of Seph and the numbers.
3) Distracted by thoughts of an imaginary conversation with someone.
4) Distracted by a memory of explaining a meditation technique to someone.
5) Lost sight of the numbers.
Highest score today was characterized by feeling Seph as if she was really there as an autonomous being that I was collaborating with. I was holding a non-attached perspective while still maintaining a sense of positive regard.
Burmese Siddha Asana, mukul mudra.
Did these exercises very late at night before going to sleep
Shockks Exercise Results, Day 28/108
12, 1, 4, 15, 42
1) Distracted by thoughts of communicating with someone.
2) Lost sight of Seph and the numbers.
3) Distracted by thoughts of an imaginary conversation with someone.
4) Distracted by a memory of explaining a meditation technique to someone.
5) Lost sight of the numbers.
Highest score today was characterized by feeling Seph as if she was really there as an autonomous being that I was collaborating with. I was holding a non-attached perspective while still maintaining a sense of positive regard.
6
Tulpa Diaries / Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« on: April 17, 2014, 04:27:49 PM »
April 17, 2014 - Day 370
Burmese Siddha Asana, Mukul Mudra.
Shockks Exercise Results, Day 27/108
100
Session went well with some varying thoughts, yet I was able to maintain the visualizations of Seph and the numbers throughout. At one point I mentioned to Seph how I was having trouble maintaining a clear image of her (I was getting some distortion and fuzziness in the visualization) even though I was able to maintain a stable form. Some of the details were vague. She talked me though a guided visualization of seeing another person and then changing the features bit by bit until I could see her clearly again.
Burmese Siddha Asana, Mukul Mudra.
Shockks Exercise Results, Day 27/108
100
Session went well with some varying thoughts, yet I was able to maintain the visualizations of Seph and the numbers throughout. At one point I mentioned to Seph how I was having trouble maintaining a clear image of her (I was getting some distortion and fuzziness in the visualization) even though I was able to maintain a stable form. Some of the details were vague. She talked me though a guided visualization of seeing another person and then changing the features bit by bit until I could see her clearly again.
7
Tulpa Diaries / Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« on: April 17, 2014, 05:24:48 AM »
@Sands - Probably co-op game, a walk, or wonderland trip of some kind.
8
Tulpa Diaries / Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« on: April 17, 2014, 05:22:44 AM »
April 16, 2014 - Day 369
Burmese Siddha Asana, mukul mudra.
Shockks Exercise Results, Day 26/108
100
Session went well. Some peripheral thoughts. Maintained focus on Seph and the numbers.
Has some thoughts about what to do after these exercises. Decided to start work on passive forcing.
Made a string bracelet to wear for a while as a mental trigger to force Seph. Seeing and hearing her around me all the time when I'm reminded by the string around my wrist. I'll wear it until I notice I am losing consciousness of it for more than a day, or if I feel I'm successful with passive forcing since I see and hear Seph around me imposed often. In that case I'll take it off also.
I might take it off temporarily if I need to have a certain appearance for a public event or something also.
Burmese Siddha Asana, mukul mudra.
Shockks Exercise Results, Day 26/108
100
Session went well. Some peripheral thoughts. Maintained focus on Seph and the numbers.
Has some thoughts about what to do after these exercises. Decided to start work on passive forcing.
Made a string bracelet to wear for a while as a mental trigger to force Seph. Seeing and hearing her around me all the time when I'm reminded by the string around my wrist. I'll wear it until I notice I am losing consciousness of it for more than a day, or if I feel I'm successful with passive forcing since I see and hear Seph around me imposed often. In that case I'll take it off also.
I might take it off temporarily if I need to have a certain appearance for a public event or something also.
9
Tulpa Diaries / Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« on: April 15, 2014, 06:50:14 PM »
April 15, 2014 - Day 368
Burmese Siddha asana, mikul mudra.
Shockks Exercise Results, Day 25/108
6, 100
1) Lost sight of Seph.
2) Another amazing session. Seph makes an interactive experience by doing something different between each set of 20 counts. This keeps my attention focused more easily and directs my mind's questioning into re-focusing back on watching her draw the numbers. Visualization was very clear with intermittent periods of distortion and fading. I did have some peripheral thoughts, even so, I was able to maintain focus on the session.
What was unique about high score today was that I was more conscious of keeping my spine straight and my posture upright.
Burmese Siddha asana, mikul mudra.
Shockks Exercise Results, Day 25/108
6, 100
1) Lost sight of Seph.
2) Another amazing session. Seph makes an interactive experience by doing something different between each set of 20 counts. This keeps my attention focused more easily and directs my mind's questioning into re-focusing back on watching her draw the numbers. Visualization was very clear with intermittent periods of distortion and fading. I did have some peripheral thoughts, even so, I was able to maintain focus on the session.
What was unique about high score today was that I was more conscious of keeping my spine straight and my posture upright.
10
Tulpa Diaries / Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« on: April 15, 2014, 03:37:48 AM »
April 14, 2014 - Day 367
Burmese Sidda asana, mukul mudra.
Shockks Exercise Results, Day 24/108
100
1) Body felt a bit sore with phantom pains (they existed only when I was sitting in asana and disappeared with any movement or other position). Visuals not as clear as yesterday and they did improve over time with the session. I was able to maintain concentration on Seph and the numbers even when I had other periphrial thoughts.
Feel great and did exercise before I had dinner (as I was busy until then).
Burmese Sidda asana, mukul mudra.
Shockks Exercise Results, Day 24/108
100
1) Body felt a bit sore with phantom pains (they existed only when I was sitting in asana and disappeared with any movement or other position). Visuals not as clear as yesterday and they did improve over time with the session. I was able to maintain concentration on Seph and the numbers even when I had other periphrial thoughts.
Feel great and did exercise before I had dinner (as I was busy until then).
11
Tulpa Diaries / Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« on: April 14, 2014, 03:57:04 AM »
April 13, 2014 - Day 366
Burmese Siddha asana, mukul mudra.
100
1) Extreme positive emotions consciousness of my body faded in and out of awareness. Visualization extremely vivid, Seph changed clothing after each set of 20 numbers. I gave her a forced pendant to celebrate our first year together. She said we were done with the exercises for toady.
This did not match my plans. I had a goal to do the exercise five times per day.
Seph: You can already do this, you just proved it. All this is just an excuse to get you to spend time forcing anyway. It's good practice to continue to keep trying again five times when you don't succeed, but let's have some fun.
Me: So we will stop if we succeed?
S: Yes, an then we'll do other things, and say Hi to everyone there on tulpa.info... ok!
Burmese Siddha asana, mukul mudra.
100
1) Extreme positive emotions consciousness of my body faded in and out of awareness. Visualization extremely vivid, Seph changed clothing after each set of 20 numbers. I gave her a forced pendant to celebrate our first year together. She said we were done with the exercises for toady.
This did not match my plans. I had a goal to do the exercise five times per day.
Seph: You can already do this, you just proved it. All this is just an excuse to get you to spend time forcing anyway. It's good practice to continue to keep trying again five times when you don't succeed, but let's have some fun.
Me: So we will stop if we succeed?
S: Yes, an then we'll do other things, and say Hi to everyone there on tulpa.info... ok!
12
Tulpa Diaries / Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« on: April 12, 2014, 07:57:08 PM »
April 12, 2014 - day 365
Burmese SIDDHAASA asana + mukul mudra.
36, 25, 26, 14, 4
1) vision switched to an image of an Asian woman's face.
2) distracted by random thought.
3) did not see Seph draw 27.
4) did not see Seph draw 15, distracted by thought of someone.
5) distracted by thoughts of a book I plan to read.
Best score to day was characterized by a stronger sense of emotional connection with Seph.
Today a feeling of physical presence when it near me although in wonderland just the same way I feel when near another human.
Burmese SIDDHAASA asana + mukul mudra.
36, 25, 26, 14, 4
1) vision switched to an image of an Asian woman's face.
2) distracted by random thought.
3) did not see Seph draw 27.
4) did not see Seph draw 15, distracted by thought of someone.
5) distracted by thoughts of a book I plan to read.
Best score to day was characterized by a stronger sense of emotional connection with Seph.
Today a feeling of physical presence when it near me although in wonderland just the same way I feel when near another human.
13
Tulpa Diaries / Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« on: April 11, 2014, 06:40:02 PM »
April 11, 2014 - Day 364
Sitting in loose Burmese Siddha-asana, mukul mudra. Done in morning after light exercise.
Shockks Exercise Results
9, 19, 3, 18, 14
1) Did not see Seph draw ten. Feeling very happy and joyful, like this is a game we are playing.
2) Distracted by thinking about food. Felt a strong sense of collaboration with Seph.
3) Distracted by thoughts of other agreements.
4) Distracted by memory of a game I played.
5) Distracted by a random thought.
Highest score today was unique in that I had a very high sense of positive emotional connection with Seph, feeling like we're working together.
Sitting in loose Burmese Siddha-asana, mukul mudra. Done in morning after light exercise.
Shockks Exercise Results
9, 19, 3, 18, 14
1) Did not see Seph draw ten. Feeling very happy and joyful, like this is a game we are playing.
2) Distracted by thinking about food. Felt a strong sense of collaboration with Seph.
3) Distracted by thoughts of other agreements.
4) Distracted by memory of a game I played.
5) Distracted by a random thought.
Highest score today was unique in that I had a very high sense of positive emotional connection with Seph, feeling like we're working together.
14
Tulpa Diaries / Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« on: April 10, 2014, 04:24:47 PM »
April 10, 2014 - Day 363
Sitting in loose Burmese siddha-asana, mukul mudra except for last round. Did exercises after getting up before eating, after short exercise.
Shockks Exercise Results, Day 20/108
11, 24, 14, 18, 4
1) Distracted by sounds form outside.
2) Distracted by thoughts of international prejudice and its effects on my thoughts about travel abroad via my perception of it.
3) Lost sight of Seph, distracted by thoughts about the fate of humanity and different power groups agenda(s) for the masses.
4) Did not see Seph draw nineteen, and distracted by mental rote voice counting.
5) Lost visualization of Seph and the numbers.
What was distinct about my highest score today was I felt amazed and in awe with positive emotions as I watched Seph draw the numbers.
Sitting in loose Burmese siddha-asana, mukul mudra except for last round. Did exercises after getting up before eating, after short exercise.
Shockks Exercise Results, Day 20/108
11, 24, 14, 18, 4
1) Distracted by sounds form outside.
2) Distracted by thoughts of international prejudice and its effects on my thoughts about travel abroad via my perception of it.
3) Lost sight of Seph, distracted by thoughts about the fate of humanity and different power groups agenda(s) for the masses.
4) Did not see Seph draw nineteen, and distracted by mental rote voice counting.
5) Lost visualization of Seph and the numbers.
What was distinct about my highest score today was I felt amazed and in awe with positive emotions as I watched Seph draw the numbers.
15
Tulpa Diaries / Re: NariusV's Progess Report
« on: April 10, 2014, 05:10:32 AM »
April 9, 2014 - Day 362
Sitting on a chair, mukul mudra. Did this just before bed, felt tired and did not have very good concentration. I do better with the exercises in the morning and today I did not do them then so I did them later.
Shockks Exercise Results, Day 19/108
2, 4, 7, 3, 4
1) Thoughts of a presentation I'm going to see.
2) Distracted by a sound I heard.
3) Did not see the number 8, fell into rote mental voice counting.
4) Imagined Seph doing something else other than writing the numbers and standing by the board.
5) Wandering random thought.
Highest score today was different in that I consciously relaxed into a witness state prior to starting.
Sitting on a chair, mukul mudra. Did this just before bed, felt tired and did not have very good concentration. I do better with the exercises in the morning and today I did not do them then so I did them later.
Shockks Exercise Results, Day 19/108
2, 4, 7, 3, 4
1) Thoughts of a presentation I'm going to see.
2) Distracted by a sound I heard.
3) Did not see the number 8, fell into rote mental voice counting.
4) Imagined Seph doing something else other than writing the numbers and standing by the board.
5) Wandering random thought.
Highest score today was different in that I consciously relaxed into a witness state prior to starting.