This is hardly a "tulpa forum" at this point. Though technically we're the most legendary tulpamancer systems that have ever been, no question, no argument.

It hasn't been a tulpa forum for the last 10 years since we started. Host talked to himself for years before you showed up.
All the legendary tulpamancers of the old days have an account here but they don't care anymore or rather hang out on IRC. Not that I'm complaining. It's awesome the way it is

John Calhoun's "Universe 25" experiment
Young men today are entering the "behavioral sink" and are getting to see every flavor of woman f'd on camera for free, not to even mention hentai except it's the elephant in the room, rape gangs just like the rats, and we're looking at the complete collapse of society in two generations or less. I think we're beyond the point of no return though.

Well yeah. Both men and women in cities. Look at city vs. country folk. Get out of the big urban areas and people are surprisingly normal.  But evolution works. The unfit will die out, others will fill the room. Sadly that will be niggers but that's our fault not theirs.

Host says human development is nonlinear. We are heading for another collapse that had happened multiple times before. The fall of the Roman empire, Bronze age collapse. It happens when societies become too complex and sustain themselves. You already see how globalization has failed and there is a renaissance of nationalism. Things will work out.

Well done!
I know nothing about horses either but that sounds reasonable. It's the same as with dogs or children. Onve they see you as weak, it's ogre.

Did Yulya find any threat in the area?
I'd say she gets us water, we eat, Ashley and Cat train the mules on the summons while I prepare another poison batch. Cat's gotta help me then. It's gonna be a busy evening. Yulya could rest first while we continue our work.

How comes you know what a mule is but not a moose? And do not worry nobody wants to eat you. Not even Ashley vampire!

I only know about animals that have a practical use! There's no such thing as nature and wildlife on most inhabited worlds and very few animals are commonly used. But humans still sometimes use mules in their military even though they have conquered space. In mountain terrain these animals are unbeatable. Better than most machines, don't need a power source, can sustain on a few weeds and in an emergency humans can even eat them. You can't eat a machine!! Well that is what I've been told but I had never seen a mule in real life before the ones we bought!

"Check me again after walking all day." Ashley says with a sour look on her face.

Hey, you can always ride on the cart! It's got more than enough capacity for a whole bunch of Ashleys!
I've thought about it but I'll rather walk than getting shaken through on that rough vehicle. It was bad enough on Gundren's cart.

[At the Butcher]
You kept 25lbs of fairy moose meat.
You now have:
5cp
24sp
14gp
10pp

Alice swallows the platinum and gold coins
Ahh, that feels less empty!

Sandra seems even less interested in Alice, possibly not even noticing who's touching her as Sophia seems tentatively cordial toward her.

Alice notices Sandra's lack of affection
Playing hard to get, are we? Fine, fine! It's not like I don't have another friend here who appreciates me!
Alice demonstratively snuggles to Sophia.

"I gave you a ton remember? Get out of here, this is for my big stinky darlings."

Alice turns 360° and walks away sulking
Meh, it's not the same when I can't eat the candy from your hand!

When you reach the southern gate, two guards stop you and do a rudimentary search of the cart, they look carefully at Alice

Alice does not bother wearing her mask and it is obvious she's not Summer - or any other human girl for that matter. She still chuckles about her plan to smuggle Summer out, somehow disappointed it was not needed.
Hey, I'm obviously not the one you're looking for. Should I take my clothes off or what?

you're off down the gravel high road. The grinding of gravel under wheels interrupted by occasional bangs as small rocks are surmounted, and the crunch of Sandra's iron shoes on the earth are a cacophony. As soon as they leave the gate, Sandra's pace quickens, she's finally realized she's got the open road ahead and she's no longer cooped up among tall buildings and she loves it. She excitedly pulls at a fast pace, moderated by Cat. Ashley leads Sophia who timidly follows, not knowing if leaving the walls of this great city was a good idea or not.[/i]

Alice takes her usual place as rear guard, closely following the cart and keeping an eye on all that's coming from behind

About 12 miles south, the mules are still happily plotting along, the road is level and free of ruts, so Sandra is seemingly unphased by the load. Ashley, ever the spotter, sees a stray package, something that's obviously fallen from a overlander recently. She runs for it and snatches it up, inspects it then tosses it in the cart.

Soap?
Not bad! But it would be a waste to use this as firebombs. Maybe we can sell it in Phandalin. I bet they need soap as no traders made it there for a while.

As the sun approaches the ocean in the Western sky, Sandra stops abruptly. Ashley pulls out an alfalfa brick, breaks off small chunks and leads them off the road.[/i

Alice focuses on whats behind her and almost runs into the abruptly stopping cart
Oh, the divas have their leisure time now?
Well whatever, I guess we've made it far enough.

You've made it about half way to the Triboar trail, good progress, and there's a less than ideal campsite nearby. An old fire ring looks like it hasn't been used in a while, the land is relatively flat, it's not the worst place to set up for the night.

Alice gets the tent and rations from the cart for Cat to prepare and starts a fire
We should eat too, maybe then we can make another batch of poison!

25lbs sounds good.
I thought I had submitted my campaign post last evening but somehow it wasn't there. Had to re-write everything.

Hmm, we currently have 36 rations and in Phandalin another 26 lbs of 'mystery meat'. This will be enough to feed the 4 of us for 2 weeks at one ration per day or 10 days at 1.5 rations. That seems excessive but the last thing I want is running out of food while laying siege to the dragon. If we have to feed Summer too and are 5 people in need of 1.5 rations per day while ascending the mountain, we will burn 7.5 rations per day!

So I don't think it's unreasonable to keep some moose meat. We need food more than money.

You now have:
7sp
13gp
8pp

I swear our money keeps increasing, even though there's nothing invested in the lolibank right now. So it can't be interest.
Even before paying for the room the inventory lists 7.5 sp less so we have 9.5 sp less than you. So much for bookkeeping.
Whatever, I have nothing against your numbers so I'll correct the inventory to that.

I don't think we ever had such deep conversations with dream characters. Sometimes it feels like it but on second thought most is pure nonsense.

The morning sun shone through the slats like piercing swords of light. Ashley threw them open and looked up into the clear blue sky. No one could possibly be in a bad mood on such a beautiful spring day."Ugh, I don't want to walk, I don't like the sun, those mules better not be a fuss!

Due to the weather, Alice is in a good mood and doesn't even mind getting dragged from under the bed this morning
Are you a vampire too or something?
It's bright and dry and warm! No snow or freezing cold. Pardise!

We gotta walk all day for days with stinky old mules.

Alice is not amused
Hey, don't badmouth Sandra and Sophia like that! Their ears are superb and they're our party members now! You can pull the cart yourself if you don't like them! What happened to your cool summoning book anyway? Was that postponed until you get your princess carriage?

Ashley barely contained her annoyance, "No, we have to kill a spider or a ghost or a spider ghost, I don't know, whatever spawns in deep mines."

Yeah, I really wonder. What would a large living thing even live off in a mine? Does it eat rocks? Or do goblins feed it? Whatever, I'm sure it's cold and dark in there an full of traps and monsters. I don't like mines or dungeons or anything belowground in general!

"Well, I can't bring myself to charge anything, it's my first time. If you enjoy it, consider that payment for being a test subject in my little experiment."

Alice grabs a pastry as well
That sounds - slightly indecent if you put it that way, Freya! You shouldn't use that phrasing with the boys here! But it's good so I guess I'll have to pay for your 'service'...

"That's not all, it was impounded. Someone managed to break the lock, steal her horses from the stables, remove the carriage and charge out of the gates right under the noses of guards and the stable master. I hope your mules are okay?" She thought "If someone knew a spell to speak with animals, maybe they saw something? I don't know how that spell works though sorry."
"And no one noticed the clopping of large horses and the grinding of metal wheels on cobblestone? It's quite a feat for a level one wizard, she'd have to be a master thief as well."

Alice grins
Yeah I asked that the guard as well but got no answer.
That girl is crazy. No idea how she pulled that off but my bet is also on magic. Or she's a dragon and flew off with it at night.
I don't think someone else stole her carriage. She'd havee come to the guild for help. But wasn't the whole story absurd?
She said her driver left her behind when she brielfy exited the carriage? And that the driver disappeared and it wasn't anyone from Leilon hired by her family? I feel we're getting dragged into something big here and Summer isn't exactly helping to clear up the situation. Whatever, I hope she makes it to Phandalin or yeah, we'll have a slight problem. I don't really have a plan B.
Alice's mood darkens. The prospect of having to rely on that erratic girl to fight a dragon in order get the ship back isn't exactly thrilling...

The Butcher turns to look at who entered and met her with a smile, "A moose? Oh sure I'll take whatever you got."
"This is a special moose. It'll cost ya more."Ashley says with a wry smile and explains something fantastical and ridiculous as to why he should pay a premium for it.

Alice's eyes widen
Whaat?
I had no idea that weird looking animal could do that! No wonder Nixie struggled with it!

It's unclear if he would have taken it for a little more just for asking, but her story made him chuckle. "Remarkable, well in that case, your magic, talking, fairy, moose meat and accessories are worth a little more. I'll take everything you got.

Alice wearing her wofl cloak takes a step back
Not me, I'm an adventurer not a magic talking fairy animal so don't butcher me!