Well, that's a whole darn lot to reply to, and on mobile to boot. Alright... In order....

Dimmer, got it. Will it work on my phone if I hold it close to my face or do I just need to wait until I get my computer back and running?

Yes, you do have a tulpa. I wanted another's opinion; obviously you'd agree with yourself after all. Not discounting your own experience here.

And then comes the meat of it. Well. I could say a whole lot of stuff now but I feel I should just condense it and say that yes, authenticity is all I want out of this, and if some Mr Science Dude could give me concrete evidence that it was all imagination tomorrow, I'd quit tulpas entirely. Not out of anger or anything, but simply because the whole concept would in that light would thus fail to deliver what I actually want in the first place: not fun or sensory stimulation above and beyond the normal human experience, but a COMPANION.

Alright, Sands, I'll try and apply that to what I'm doing now. Small sessions where I can if big ones get derailed. Whatever works and feels like it's working above and beyond time counting. Don't fear parroting and such.

And, uh. I guess weigh everything else you said against Fede's philosphy. Which I find a bit cold and empty, not gonna lie. Last four lines there made me cringe.

And now I'm gonna just go off and try turpentine things and try not to be too spooked off the whole thing. this got entirely too cereal for something I got into for fun and feels sweet merciful goodness why

Apparently I meant Eye-Bo. Damn, my eyes hurt after that. Certainly was unable to force through that level of sensory input, either. Ow.

I have cut parroting completely out of my routine, and very lottle is happening now. Continuing to do 15 min forcing/day. Suspect this inadequate. Read through that depressing/worrying log made by failed tupper-er Enny and gleaned as much help from it as possible. Lots of gems in there. Stealing the suggested schedule Sands gave to him for my own use, and will be doing what I can to implement it for my own use.

Considering doing a hybrid of Fede's method and more old-school tulpa techniques- switching off every day and such. I'm just alarmed by the philosophy behind the method there- I don't want a puppet in my brain, I can do that already with abject ease. I want something more, and I want to do all those fascinating things like switching and such as well. Would extensive puppeting and parroting help with this or am I gonna lobotomize her if I do things this way?

Not too much interesting to report. Narration has been semi-consistent and last forcing session was disappointingly unfruitful. Going to start doing an hour a day total now. Hopefully that will ease progress along.

also gosh golly goodness this place is so darn dead i cant even even

Funnily enough, I think I'd be more concerned about them knowing that I like what inspired her base form, more than the tulpa thing in general, hurrhurr.

Well, it's not incredibly smooth. Having a very hard time feeling her thia morning. Need to do some active forcing on break, I think. Most of this is still parroting anyway. I think.

Rodger that! Hrm, now to see if I even have good memories for her, haha. A pity she can't eat meat, takes away so much sensory possibility.

Also, a concern: I heard something about not doing the tupper thing before bed because dreams can mess with them; I kinda seem to be at a point where I can't turn her off (and don't want to); she was part of my (rather bizaare and unpleasant) dreams last night and it has me wondering if tbat could have a negative effect.

Imagining her there constantly has become second nature to me, it seems, even if visualizing is hard. Doing as much... Imposing, I think, as I can, too. Maybe it's the parroting but she seems happy now just to be around so much. Telling her about everything- easier when I'm not in the negative space that is my job- and it's going well. Even if it's just parroting, that means 'happy to spend time with Alexius' will become part of my personality, right?

I did see that. Haha, I ought to read that one every damn day to keep my head in the right place. Hrm. Doing as much focus as I can get away with on Lunesta at work- mentally telling her about various stuff (Fallout, today) and parroting responses, etc. Nervous-excited about the whole thing, more and more; makes me wish I could sink eighr damn hours into active forcing.

On that note, what's the quickest (or maybe healthiest?) way to help a tulpa grow to the point where you can really FEEL them? It hasn't even been a week, I know... Don't (necessarily) expect voice this soon but I'm very eager (too eager?) to get some sense of her.

Alright, that makes sense. Permission to do what she cam and I think would help her... Mixed parroting and narration; that sounds helpful. Fun things. Music definitely would be a go-to for me. Just gotta figure out how to include her at work without boring the hell out of her, haha. And try not to be scared of my brain, though that might be tricky for me.

We'll see where it goes, today.