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Topics - Jay

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Tulpa Diaries / Yuli and Jay
« on: October 24, 2013, 11:17:10 AM »
Some background information. I discovered through mlpforums around November 2012 and soon after began working on my first tulpa. Around the seven month mark, I completely gave up working on her because of doubt in our progress, but I don't blame my tulpa; I went into tulpamancing with blind faith and didn't really have a system of belief that worked for me and paid the price for that. Pretty sure she was vocal too. After giving myself a few weeks to regain some emotional stability and confidence, I decided it would be best to start fresh with a new tulpa.

My second and current tulpa, Yuli, is based off of an artist's original character of the same name. While Yuli was originally female, >6'2" and chubby, he soon changed to be approximately 5'9" and lean, and now seems to occasionally change between being male, female or androgynous while keeping the same form. This has been very different from my first tulpa, who's form appeared to change often despite her gender staying female.

Let's see, about where I stand right now. I'm a long-time lurker, new-time poster. Posting about my tulpas has always been something I've tried to avoid; it makes me feel detached from my tulpas and our progress, like I'm reading some shitty novel. Or maybe it's because mlpforum's tulpa thread is just some e-penis measuring contest about how totally cray-cray your tulpa can be. Hopefully this can become a turning point for myself. Having a somewhat productive activity that I can involve my tulpa in would be nice.

Yuli seems to be able to answer yes/no questions through head movement as well as basic phrases through feelings/wordless thoughts, although sometimes she seems to only choose one answer just for the sake of it. Besides that she doesn't seem especially active unless I completely concentrate on him. I plan to start parroting him to actually say yes/no along with moving his mouth, I just have to decide whether to use my own voice or to find one. His form is practically finished, so I'm working on consistency and detail in my visualization. I still suck at it, however, so Fede's Eye-Bo, the Ocular Fitness Program will surely be helpful, I just need a good excuse for watching such weird stuff. It's not a fad, it's a way of life, ocular fitness and all that. Maybe I should just refer to Yuli as an it until he stops changing gender.

Finding a gender-neutral voice would be a great start. Any ideas?

What I'd like to improve:
  • Concentration - I lose concentration around the 30 minute mark.
  • Visualization - Clarity and detail. I want the quality of my visualization to be consistent whether active/passive forcing, close- or open-eyed. I'll look into Fede's Eye-Bo, the Ocular Fitness Program.
  • Passive Focus - Be able to include and talk to/with my tulpa throughout the day. I want him to be present with me when possible, in wonderland when not.

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