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Messages - Bernd

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376
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« on: February 21, 2017, 05:16:45 PM »
Good to see the forum is back.
Anyway, still here, progress is painfully slow as always. Haven't managed to get into forcing every day for a certain amount at all, damn.
Still have to get a lot of stuff done but I'll definitely do that daily forcing routine all March.
Valentine's Day wasn't that great either, I was too busy but at least we made a chocolate cake.



At least I've managed to put significant parts of tupper's plan for world domination into action. Slow and steady wins the race.
And we've been in the mountains and meditated in a forest in the freshly fallen snow while watching the sun rise. That was an extraordinary experience.


377
Off-Topic / Re: Fleas
« on: February 01, 2017, 08:02:02 PM »
More important:
How long can I think about them without having man-sized fleas appear in my wonderland and tupper wanting to keep them as pets?

378
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« on: February 01, 2017, 08:00:06 PM »
It's February, time to look back at what we've accomplished last month.

Personal development: good
Tupper made me throw out a lot of useless stuff, well at least start with it. Also has worked out a lot of things I need to do and how. Feels productive.



Tupper development: poor
We haven't done a lot of active forcing in January but Alice has been present frequently and we did interact quite a lot in terms of passive forcing. To my defense I have to add that she wanted me to get stuff done and even refused to be around until I was finished. Still could have done a lot more. Ah well, I always want to do too much different stuff, we'll try to focus on a few things in February and work on them intensely. Not that I haven't said that a million times before...

379
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« on: January 26, 2017, 06:50:24 PM »
Had another tupper related dream some days ago. It was 'realistic' in regard to Alice as she was also a tupper in the dream and only present as voice in my head.
The dream itself was unspectacular. I was in a 50s style fast food restaurant and waiting for friends that didn't show up. Apparently it was supposed to be my birthday party. Tupper said she'd rather go to the beach which we did. The 'beach' was a row of newly built wooden houses on sand, no water. Most of the dream consisted of climbing around on and in those houses and admiring the texture and feel of the wood which was quite realistic. Things eventually turned into my second favorite type of dream: low gravity
I love that stuff. Being able to jump and float over great distances until I slowly desced to the ground like a feather. Almost became lucid at some point as I was talking to tupper about said dream physics and deliberately slipping off a roof to enjoy the feeling of my hands and feet losing touch with the wooden surface and then clinging to a wooden beam with a finger. I knew something wasn't 'normal' but still didn't fully realize I was dreaming. Ah well, it was neat anyhow. Tupper doesn't remember though.

Did some more meditation today which worked fairly well despite my obvious lack of practice. Almost fell asleep and drifted off into hypnagogia. But nothing interesting happened. Still felt good.

380
Off-Topic / Re: Cats
« on: January 26, 2017, 06:48:29 PM »
Cat took it reasonably well. Found some dying fleas on cat's blanket soon afterwards so the problem should be under control soon.

Now do an image search for 'cat fleas'
Count how long you manage to browse 'em without scratching.

381
Off-Topic / Re: Cats
« on: January 20, 2017, 09:16:49 PM »
Sounds familiar.
At least I suppose your indoor cat is reasonably clean.
Cat has fleas and is jumping and scratching like crazy. Will have to get flea drops tomorrow. Cat hates 'em and that stuff isn't really healthy but it works.

382
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« on: January 20, 2017, 09:15:04 PM »


It's the future I chose.

383
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« on: January 17, 2017, 10:31:02 PM »
Quote from: Sands
Will you blame tupper if things won't go well?!
I'll send her a hitman if things won't go well. I want my money!

In the mean time tupper is getting serial about that 'whipping stupid host-kun into shape' as December wasn't really productive in that regard. In fact the whole 2016 wasn't productive in any regard and Alice has made it clear that this will never happen again.

I had complained that tupper was too destructive instead of being creative but she responded
a) that's what she's best at
b) it was her job
and
c) in order to create something new, the old needed to be eradicated
In times like that I'm glad she's just in charge of reorganizing my life and not executing Generalplan Ost.

Ah, I love the monster I have created.
So I spent the last days throwing out a lot of unnecessary stuff I'd been hoarding for years but never could let go. But tupper knows no mercy. Gotta say it feels good and somehow liberating. Never would have gotten this done on my own. And it's just the Beginning. I dunno where this path will lead us though...

384
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« on: January 12, 2017, 09:28:08 PM »
You mean crashing the host with no survivors?

At least it looks like tupper is going to take over my finances as well and invest in Eastern Poland the stock market. Sounds like a great idea. She's very conservative, a cheapskate and hates to lose. What could possibly go wrong?



Tried to do a bit more meditation but it's not much fun if I can't sit outside. Almost manage to sit in full-lotus position now but comfortable it ain't. We also continued to practice dancing in wonderland again, still is hard. Especially thinking of my feet without trying to visualize them. Because you are supposed to look at your partner and never evar at your feet. Tell that to my brain. But there definitely is some imporovement. Not much but it's something.

385
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« on: January 04, 2017, 03:44:26 PM »
Being less of a faggot obviously. It's gonna be hard.
Tupperu on the other hand will have to come up with more viable alternatives instead of calling everything and everyone baka

Also there will be a monthly review of my 'progress' to see what I actually have achieved each month. First report about January will come in early Feb.

Other recent happenings:
It seemed like a good idea to start into the new year with an active forcing session on Salvia. Results were mixed, I did achieve a small effect and forgot where I actually was for at least a short time. Not completely different from a good normal forcing session, imagination was more vivid but there was much less control over it. I appeared to sit on a huge white arc stretching across some cartoonish wonderland. It gently swayed back and forth in the wind. Tupper was sitting on my right side and when I leaned backwards she held my arm so I would not fall off. Interesting, not unpleasant.

In reality however I was sitting on the floor and leaning against the christmas tree which almost tipped over. I've already stated that our tree is not some shrub but a giant twice a man's height and laden with tons of delicate glass decorations. It is, however, also cat-proof which really paid off. Nothing was broken but man, this could have ended badly.

That's why I never have done Salvia in relevant doses. I just don't have the padded cell for that and too much to break or kill myself with in my apartment.

386
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« on: January 01, 2017, 10:47:48 PM »
We 2017 now.

387
Off-Topic / Re: Chat Thread
« on: January 01, 2017, 10:26:01 PM »

388
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« on: December 27, 2016, 03:56:06 PM »
I should let tupper do the drawing, with her possession and my drawing skills the results are guaranteed to be 'interesting'. Could probably sell it as abstract art and make millions.
But then again, it's all about facial expressions and it would be a waste as long as I can't get them right. However I'll be getting a Wacom pen tablet from a friend who's not using it anymore, so we'll definitely give it a try.
Soon™

Played Memory with tupper today.
She won 4 out of 5 rounds and I think I know why.
While we both sucked because the brain was tired and I am generally bad at remembering stuff, she had a far more systematic approach and only selected one unknown card first, then an already known one as second choice, thus giving away 50% less locations to the other player (me).  Boring but apparently effective as I've read now. I must confess I never even thought of this strategy apart from the very end when only few unknown cards are left.

The last round came to a premature end because cat decided to sit in the middle of the remaining cards, then rolled over and batted them around. I don't recall how many board or card games at my place ended that way but I guess most.

TL;DR
Tupper outsmarted me again

389
Off-Topic / Re: Cats
« on: December 27, 2016, 03:51:43 PM »
Quote from: Sands
Still I wonder if the neighbors enjoy this squeak, squ-squeak squeaksqueaksqueak in the middle of the night.

What about you?
I think I would have thrown cat and mouse out after half a minute.

Man, I hate these squeaky toys.
Some years ago the neighbours got their dog a 'squeaky' bone, but it didn't sqeak, it yelled like a grown man in pain. Really WTF? Who invents such shit? Sounded like someone being tortured in their garden. I mean at first it was really funny but after a while the noise was just horrible. Luckily the thing didn't last long.

Cat has the christmas tree as a toy with lots of decorations to bat around. Interestingly in all my life no cat has ever attempted to climb the tree though we always had huge ones, not some pleb-tier shrub. And by huge I mean more than 3m. But cats prefer to lurk underneath.

390
Off-Topic / Re: Cats
« on: December 18, 2016, 09:30:57 PM »
Brought a cardboard box from the supermarket.
I do that once in a while as it is the perfect present for cat besides food



Cat hopped in before I even put it on the floor and now spends most of the day inside.
The box has a lid with a rectangular opening just wide enough to get in and several small holes on all sides for looking and pawing through.

While already awesome for one cat, the real fun starts when neighbour cat comes over and one is lurking in the box and the other outside. Both are old but they behave like kittens while playing, jumping in and out. It does escalate once in a while but generally they get along well.
The only thing better than a cat is moar cats.

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