Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.


Messages - Bernd

Pages: 1 ... 26 27 [28] 29 30 ... 33
406
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« on: June 22, 2016, 05:10:15 PM »
Quote from: Sands
Abandon all hope, it is demon time now

My body is ready

407
General Discussion / Child prodigy with tuppers
« on: June 22, 2016, 05:09:58 PM »
I just saw an interview with an 11 year old musical genius composer loli dubbed 'little miss mozart'.
First I thought she was just another one of those poor trained monkey kids exploited by overzealous parents but this one's quite different.
She gave some very interesting details on how she gets her inspiration that I want to share as she obviously not only utilizes a highly detailed wonderland but also several tuppers.

Article in German:
http://www.deutschlandradiokultur.de/alma-deutscher-so-lebt-es-sich-als-elfjaehriges-wunderkind.2177.de.html?dram:article_id=348724

Quote
Alma Deutscher has become well accustomed to her public existence as an admired prodigy. But as soon as a performance is over, she will immerse herself into her own world again.:

"I walk around with my skipping rope. But I do not use it for jumping, I only swing it through the air and make up stories in my mind, that's how I get my inspiration. Often I dream of my wonderland where several composers perform and these concerts are often very beautiful."

Alma's wonderland is called Transsylvanien - with the German ending, mind you, just as names of local places and people sound very German as well. However, not the composer who has particularly impressed her: Antonin Yellowsink. He also lives in this musician's paradise.

"My fantasy land Transsylvanien is a beautiful place, there are forests and lakes and villas around it. But there are also cities and streets, which look a bit like here in Germany. And there is a famous music school named Mantonburg where all famous composers live. Antonin Yellowsink also went there, he is one of the best, I often steal his melodies and I'm at home there as well, but I do not yet belong to the famous composers, I'm not grown up yet. [...] In Transsylvanien there are many female composers as well, Shell, Flora, Ashley and Greensilk..."

And here's an article from The Guardian:
https://www.theguardian.com/music/2016/feb/05/alma-deutscher-10-music-world

Quote
Deutscher takes lessons via Skype from teachers around the world, and for the last few years she has attended a musical summer camp in Salzburg organised by the Vienna Philharmonic. But other aspects of her practice are less conventional, and more childlike, such as the elaborate imaginary mitteleuropean–esque world she has conjured with its "wonderful court orchestra", language "a bit like German" and composers - "Yellowsink is a sort of Schubert Romantic, and Schell, she is more like Mozart" - whose work she both makes and takes in. She says Yellowsink composed the main melody of her Cinderella opera. Deutscher also makes imaginative use of a favourite skipping rope which she waves around in the garden "while I tell stories in my mind and if the story is about music then sometimes a new melody comes into my head".

Wow.
We should ask her to join the forum, if she's as good in tuppering as in composing she surely could teach us a lot.
Time to get a jump rope!

408
Off-Topic / Re: VIDEO GAMES
« on: June 16, 2016, 08:15:00 PM »
minecraft?

Quote from: Sands
See you again once we play Earthbound and get to choose more favorite things...
that feel when probably never as ded forum is ded

409
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« on: June 16, 2016, 08:05:51 PM »
Seem to adjust to sitting in half-lotus at least a little bit but it varies. Still don't think that's healthy if you can't feel your legs anymore. Maybe I'm just too stupid to do it right.

Spent about 45min at a fountain in a nearby park today which produces nice static noise. Not as good as the waterfall of auditory hallucinations but ok as a background to keep me from thinking. The last attempts were not as successful as in my previous report but it does seem to get easier.
Drawback is I've spent more time meditating than with tupper.
Plus I noticed just how unfocused I am in everyday life. Or rather mindless, the opposite of mindful. I've never done anything with servitors but the more I think about it, the more I feel like a servitor is running everything and tupper and me are just watching the show and (mostly in my case) occasionally intervene. I've tried some exercises in mindfulness and immediately noticed how slow I become as soon as I consciously try to execute every movement instead of running on autopilot. It's ridiculously hard. I've thought about exploiting this with belief implanting, pretending tupper does the things when I don't focus on them but Alice is against such a 'fake it 'til you make it' approach.

However something weird happened.
I wanted to get some juice from the fridge but when I opened the bottle I noticed I was actually holding the milk which comes in a similar packaging. Nothing overly unusual until I realized the juice had alreay been taken out and opened, standing beside me on the shelf. Kinda scary, I had absolutely no memory of me doing that. Tupper's not sure what happened either. But I assume that's what switching with the host completely blacking out or tupper when I forget about her feels like. I had hoped this 'ability' to dissociate fairly easily would help with switching but no success so far. Or maybe there is?

410
Off-Topic / Re: Cats
« on: June 07, 2016, 09:32:52 PM »
Sounds good in theory but I doubt that cat would just play along.


And no, sticking a cat in a tub of water really isn't the smartest idea. Rather suicidal.
Nowadays I just lock them out until they've cleaned themselves. It's strange, most cats here barely mind rain and often stay outside until they are completely soaked. But heaven forbid if I drip a bit of warm water onto them. Cats are weird.

411
Tulpa Diaries / Re: timethief descends into hell for a bottle of milk
« on: June 07, 2016, 09:18:04 PM »
>my tupper's a fox-girl loli
>halp I'm so weird





Seems pretty average to me. You've been around h8chan and tupper.info, you should know the competition. If both of you are fine with that form there's no reason to give a fuck about what random people on the internet might think about it.
Also if you are a weirdo then what am I ???

Quote from: timethief
I am pretty convinced that there's a part of the psychic apparatus that one cannot explicitly control in the way we're used to control things, or at least on mine there is
If you were to be in perfect control of everything where would all the fun come from? You gotta give in to the things tupper comes up with in order to let them gain independence. Even if it gets weird.
Really weird

Quote from: timethief
Hey, it doesn't mean that I have slacked! I haven't had much time for anything these days (other than posting on your thread).
That's why I rarely post at all.
less posting = more time for forcing

Quote from: timethief
I don't really do many things without consulting with her first, a course of action that has proven to be very productive. Hell, she even encourages me to do things that would mean less time with her but that ultimately benefit me. Wow. Tuppermancy truly changes lives, if you're up to the task.
Yep, always listen to tupper. They're way smarter than us.

412
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« on: June 06, 2016, 05:46:49 PM »
Sands advice -> Best advice

We often take forcing as pure training and forget about actually spending time together.
Still there's not the faintest taste in imaginary milkshakes or cakes yet. But I guess the thought [carlos.jpg] counts.

Today I managed to sit on a park bench for nearly an hour and completely emptied my mind. Just listening to my breath, the birds and distant traffic. No intrusive thoughts at all - never managed that for such a timespan. I've found that sitting in a way that supports my back is very beneficial. However when I tried to get up from 1h half lotus position my legs were so numb that I couldn't move for several minutes and afterwards stumbled around like some retard for quite a while. No idea how people manage to do this for hours without their feet dying off.
But it was worth it. Even afterwards as I walked home, thoughts only faintly returned and were easy to eliminate.



Have yet to see how this actually benefits tuppering.

413
Tulpa Diaries / Re: timethief descends into hell for a bottle of milk
« on: June 06, 2016, 05:13:25 PM »
Pure coincidence!

And so much for daily updates. But you kept that up way longer than I'd expected. Good job!
I don't have anything productive to add

Oh wait...
I 've wanted to ask this for a long time - what does tupper actually look like?

414
Off-Topic / Re: Cats
« on: June 03, 2016, 07:11:21 PM »
Cats can take the form of every tetris piece and match into the available space perfectly. Though I often wonder why they don't choose a more comfortable position.

Have you ever tried to wash cat?
I tried after cat rolled in dogshit on the street.
It didn't go very well...

I've heard from several people that their cats actually enjoy bathing but I am yet to see that.

415
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« on: June 03, 2016, 07:00:01 PM »
Bernd style!

However


Sunset/fire edition
While doing nothing really productive, I figured out how to produce different shades of colors while looking at a light source with closed eyes. Duh, it's no big discovery, it just depends on moving one's eyeballs up or down to let more or less light reach them. But I found the results quite useful to adapt to different wonderland sceneries. Colors with eye-bo are still weird but I used the sun for most of the time, forcing outside.
Picture related.


You may have heard we've had quite some flooding in Bavaria after a series of extremely powerful thunderstorms. Luckily not where I live, I actually enjoy this sort of warm-moist weather with frequent but short rainshowers in the afternoon.
Spent a lot of time in the nearby parks, it's neat so sit among the flowering shrubs and roses for forcing, listening to the sound of nature. And I started to sit at the kitchen window during the daily thunderstorms and listen to the rain. It did get a bit rough in the past days but it's an intreresting background for wonderland activities.
Didn't reach the goal of 1h/d but it's better than nothing.

416
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« on: May 18, 2016, 09:46:07 PM »
Thanks, I needed that!


Anyway, nothing really worth reporting.
We had some ups and downs lately, I wasted most of the time with useless stuff that filled my mind and prevented me from focusing. And of course I'm nowhere near your amount of forcing either. Few and really bad sessions. I'm really trying to set aside an hour for active forcing every day but it's soo hard when you're a lazy fuck like me. Who's the world-class procrastinator now?

Unfortunately casual passive forcing is no adequate replacement for intense active sessions and quickly weakens tupper's abilities to an unsettling degree.
Ah, there's one observation I made - staring at the flashing lights of Fede's Eye-Bo appears to produce different colors in different sessions. Haven't been able to figure out what causes this. Normally the white light looks reddish when passing through the eyelids, the darkness blueish due to fatigue of the retina's cones. High frequencies are purple. However, in one sessions I have seen intense persistent red and orange colors which fit nicely to a sundown scenery in wonderland.
More of that next time, I need to get some sleep now.

417
Tulpa Diaries / Re: It's Alice Day
« on: April 25, 2016, 05:30:01 PM »
Oh look, it's this day again, time to celebrate



One year since I made this fake account
No one got it, might as well keep going. We don't have real users anyway.

So let's take a look at Bernd's achievements in the last 12 months
ab-so-lutely nothing

Not that I'm complaining though, at least tupper seems to be stable.
We try to do 30min session with Fede's tones daily now.

Today's possession training came to a sudden end when one hand touched cat that was sleeping on my chest. Cat was like 'who's that grabbing my tail?' and was totally shocked being woken from deep sleep. The sudden movement threw me out of the (barely) dissociative state I managed to reach.
Cat looked at me like wtf are you doing?
Told her it wasn't me and tupper did it but I think she didn't believe me.

I still find it really hard not to focus on the bodyparts involving possession. Tried Fede's method to do something with an imaginary body in wonderland to distract myself but it's not working very well. Guess it needs more practice. As always.

418
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« on: April 01, 2016, 04:30:44 PM »
Been sick as fuck for about a week.
I mean really sick, to the point of being unable to do or think anything. Dunno if it was really the flu but it felt like it. Thank goodness that's over with.

Before things got really ugly I managed to use some time for forcing in bed.
Concentrating was hard as I was constantly bombarded by intrusive thoughts in the form of loud 80s music and nonsensical political speeches, which made my tupper feel like some terror suspect being tortured by sleep deprivation.

Still things went better than excepted. Here we go

Hidden text
Some months ago a human character popped up in my wonderland for the first time. It was this guy.
 


I wasn't too happy at first as I generally prefer not to have other people in my wonderland. But as Alice did not terminate him with extreme prejudice, as she usually does with intrusive characters and because we all know that No one who speaks German could be an evil man I decided that he could stay. But I told him I had no time for him at the moment and he should create a place for himself beyond the huge mountains that rise in the west of our wonderland. He waved goodbye and went his way. I hadn't really thought of him since then, and if I just told myself he was busy behind those mountains. Problem solved.
Now tupper and me were thinking about what to do in wonderland. Any sort of delicate or complex work was out of question in my condition, so Alice decided we should go for a trip and visit the Nazi-guy beyond the mountains.
Ah well, what could go wrong? It seemed like the perfect idea for a feverish dream.
Outside in our east-Asian wonderland the air was cool and wet, low-hanging dark clouds quickly passed by. Alice stopped at the weird tree she had created, picking up one of the green basketball-sized spiny fruits "Because you need to bring a present when you visit someone". She really seems to like that guy.
Then we turned westwards to the mountains. I tried to envision the changing vegetation as we rose from the lowland forests to highland shrubs and finally alpine meadows, the summits of snow and ice still towering above us. Music and speeches were blaring and impossible to control, but we went on. Creating the landscapes on the fly was easy but I had no idea what should be behind those mountains and decided to just let things happen. Although I was a bit concerned to end up with concentration camps in my wonderland. Tupper bopped me on the head with the fruit saying the guy was from the Wehrmacht. "They don't run concentration camps".
Well, tell that to my feverish hallucinations.
We finally reached the ice and I noticed a snow leopard peeking from behind a rock above us. It quickly fled when Alice pointed out she could use a fur hat. My visualization skills were deteriorating but somehow we made it to the summit. There was an iron cross with an inscription "German alpinist union, 1936"
So this was the border of the known wonderland. Beyond was, apparently, Germany. Nazi Germany to be precise.
I looked down into the valley on the other side but saw nothing but clouds. Then they parted and revealed a beautiful alpine landscape in autumn, with bright yellow larch trees on the slopes below us. Alice became impatient and decided to break loose a large avalanche, sweeping us down the mountain, much to her entertainment. We ended up amidst the larch trees several thousand meters lower and made our way to what appeared to be a small town in the distance. We soon encountered a hunter that lifted his hat as he walked by but seemed a bit startled by our appearance, both wearing traditional Asian clothes. Alice said we needed to fit in and change into "something more appropriate".
According to her this meant wearing Dirndl and Lederhosen and becoming a Bavarian tourist-cliché. I tried to protest but it was no use. Alice looked like a crossover between Alice in Wonderland and Goldilocks in a blue-white checkered Dirndl. And me - well I don't want to talk about it. We moved on and heard stereotypical Bavarian Oktoberfest-music coming from the town that of course also looked like some cartoon-depiction of Bavaria.
But this wasn't just Bavaria, it was Nazi-Bavaria for additional lulz. Large red flags with the swastika were on the buildings and in the streets.
A lot of people were sitting on a long desk on a square, apparently eating Weisswurst and Pretzel and drinking beer. What else...
We wanted to go there to get some food but my powers were finally fading. Somehow we never got closer or ended up at different places.
I finally managed to summon the German soldier to the border of the town so Alice could give him the fruit she had been dragging along with her for the entire journey.
I asked him how this town was called, even though I knew already, and he smiled and pointed at the town sign, saying
Welcome to Unteralterbach

So well, that's that.
I guess it was inevitable.

419
Off-Topic / Re: Cat Network Discussion Thread
« on: April 01, 2016, 02:17:33 PM »
Wait, what?
I thought this was Cat Network all along

420
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« on: March 15, 2016, 05:53:46 PM »
At least it's not gay

Also wow rude

Pages: 1 ... 26 27 [28] 29 30 ... 33