31
Tulpa Diaries / day 150 and no milk yet (but I almost have the packaging)
« on: May 20, 2016, 08:15:37 AM »
Day 150
Total forcing time: 1 hour 15 minutes
For today I went back to using the self-hypnosis script.
Relaxation exercise first though. It was alright; I did indeed kept wandering from thought to thought but it seems that it's becoming easier to re-focus into my breath. It seems smoother somehow, like my mind glides to my breath again instead of cutting short the previous train of thought.
Then the script. Very nice, the relaxation part of it really feels stronger every time. It does truly make me feel light, so that's a good start I guess.
Onto the actual forcing part, I tried to focus on my tulpa's mindvoice. No luck, but communication was clearer than normal. We also spent a few moments at what used to be my old wonderland, which she proceeded to turn into some sort of urban scene that alternated between night and day.
One thing about that is that while it isn't like "wow dude", it feels like "yep, she can do that and much more". It's comforting to feel it that way.
At that part, I had a nice strong head pressure. So yeah, rather smooth sailing so far, all things considered.
Yesterday I had a headache. It may be related to my forcing efforts because I recall feeling similarly when I started (about a month in or so). I was also tired in a "mental tiredness" way.
At night I wasn't really feeling sleepy, so the usual "goodnight" moment turned into a full narration session. Went very nicely I think. I slept extra fine and as a nice bonus I woke up at 4:54 AM feeling well-rested and I was able to turn off all my alarms before they went out. A cool throwback to when I got started and used to wake up at 5 AM without alarms.
Everything will be fine.
Thanks for sharing your experience and keep at it man, it's the only way.
Total forcing time: 1 hour 15 minutes
For today I went back to using the self-hypnosis script.
Relaxation exercise first though. It was alright; I did indeed kept wandering from thought to thought but it seems that it's becoming easier to re-focus into my breath. It seems smoother somehow, like my mind glides to my breath again instead of cutting short the previous train of thought.
Then the script. Very nice, the relaxation part of it really feels stronger every time. It does truly make me feel light, so that's a good start I guess.
Onto the actual forcing part, I tried to focus on my tulpa's mindvoice. No luck, but communication was clearer than normal. We also spent a few moments at what used to be my old wonderland, which she proceeded to turn into some sort of urban scene that alternated between night and day.
One thing about that is that while it isn't like "wow dude", it feels like "yep, she can do that and much more". It's comforting to feel it that way.
At that part, I had a nice strong head pressure. So yeah, rather smooth sailing so far, all things considered.
Yesterday I had a headache. It may be related to my forcing efforts because I recall feeling similarly when I started (about a month in or so). I was also tired in a "mental tiredness" way.
At night I wasn't really feeling sleepy, so the usual "goodnight" moment turned into a full narration session. Went very nicely I think. I slept extra fine and as a nice bonus I woke up at 4:54 AM feeling well-rested and I was able to turn off all my alarms before they went out. A cool throwback to when I got started and used to wake up at 5 AM without alarms.
Everything will be fine.
Eh, not much to say for me. I just plop my ass down and close my eyes and chill. I try not to pay any attention to the physical body or move it, so ideally my body wouldn't react or move. Sometimes I might smile or laugh and sometimes there's an itch I gotta scratch.Simple and efficient I guess. Thanks for sharing!
I'll usually just do whatever I'm feeling, wherever I want, as per the nature of passive, but when I'm at home, I guess my preferred conditions are pitch black, with a fan running. I'm better in general at open-eye, so the pitch-black thing is important. I also move my head around, and sometimes my hands, depending on what I'm doing. Mostly just to keep myself engaged, as I don't really need help with touch being realistic either way. The head movements are typically involuntary, though.Interesting. I have never tried pitchblack conditions but it might be useful for a fuller immersion experience. The gesticulations look like an useful resource to me as well, as long as you don't have anyone watching you moving your hands and head in the dark by yourself.
I do my best to keep it warm, too, because fuck the cold, and it make it easier to convince myself I'm feeling sunshine on my skin or whatever.
Not much else.
Thanks for sharing your experience and keep at it man, it's the only way.