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51
Off-Topic / Re: Chat Thread
« Last post by Alice on July 19, 2026, 07:07:21 pm »
That's right. I wouldn't.
52
Off-Topic / Re: Campaign #1 - Somewhere on the Sword Coast
« Last post by Yulya on July 19, 2026, 04:47:22 pm »
Yulya frowns
In Eldaths name - Alice put your trophies away you are bothering Master Edermath!

Yet I admit everything about Nezzer was odd. What kind of man was he Master Edermath? What could have been his goal in this mine? He had abducted the 2 human girls from Phandalin but denied doing anything indecent to them. He called them his 'prize' if I remember correctly. He also manipulated the sparks of the remains of  Forge of Spells. What is the Forge of Spells Master Edermath? Nobody told us there was something arcane like this in the mine. Or a Spectator monster protecting it. Yet I must say the Spectator proved useful in one regard. It created a barrier around the mine which prevented Nezzer from escaping. He even resorted to bargaining with us thinking we could lift it. As Alice has reported he was not a fighter at all and teleported to his death. All h did was cloaking himself with invisibility and summoned a few undead before that. Including another girl that mimicked the ones from Phandalin to lure us into a trap. I believe she was sealed similarly to Mormesk and that Nezzer had also broken this seal. Oh and there were also a strange reptilian creature that disguised itself with an illusion to look like a drow. It commanded the bugbears. Would you have any ideas about this?

And then there is this:
Yulya looks around for eavesdroppers - then places the Heart of the Mountain on the table.
Sir Gundrens brothers asked us to retrieve this as proof of clearing the mine. It appears to be some kind of - orb?

To be honest there is another thing that greatly bothers me Master Edermath. The whole story from beginning to end - does it make sense to you? Remember Sir Gundren Rockseeker hired us absolute rookies to escort his cart from Neverwinter to Phandalin with Sir Sildar Hallwinter. He mentioned nothing of a mine - or the valuable map he was carrying. Sir Gundren and Sildar 'scouted ahead' and disappeared. We freed Sir Sildar from the goblin den along Triboar Trail under suspicious circumstances while Sir Gundren was allegedly taken to the Goblin Kings castle because of his map. Sir Gundrens brothers tasked us with clearing the mine 'of sqatters' despite missing the vital map to navigate it while they and Sir Sildar set out to rescue Gundren by laying siege to the castle. I know dwarves are doing dwarf things just like Sir Kingir which I had to revive in the mine - but that approach looks more than foolish to me. If not malicious. The bandits expected us. They knew we were coming. I cannot shake off the feeling that we were sent to our deaths on purpose. We were not supposed to leave this mine alive. And frankly it as a miracle by the Gods that we did.

Master Edermath what is your impression of Sir Sildar Hallwinter - if you have any? Sir Kingir expressed great disdain for this man. I myself - am not sure but I must say everything he was involved with was - dubious. It also appears the dwarves themselves were dealing with the goblins. At least Sir Kingir said so. A most troublesome connection if I my say. The goblins in the cave we cleared were also clearly associated with Nezzer and the Cloaked Wolves bandit organization. I still struggle to make sense of all this. But someone is playing a dishonest game with us here. And this will have consequences!

I presume you made good use of my ring, though I do not see an elf among you yet.
Yulya instinctively grabs the ring on her hand
I-Indeed Master Edermath! This ring has proven invaluable and has saved us countless times. I cannot thank you enough for it! As for Elves - if I may say they do not grow on trees. We have not yet met an elf here let alone one who would join our party. But Summer of Leilon - I believe you are acquainted with her - will at least temporarily join us to subjugate that dragon.

Yulya leans forward and whispers.
Frankly I am worried. This child is a bit reckless - already planning the retrieval of the dragons spoils before we have slain it!

As for the whistle, I would take that off your hands, any fool bandit that comes here for it will get his just reward from me, I'd very much like to ask him a few questions. Rather like if I could entice a field mouse to say more than a few utterances about the weather or his longing for grains."
Yulya is visibly relieved by this statement. She takes out the whistle and almost pushes it on Daran.
Gladly! I am more than happy to get rid of this device! We had similarly planned to lure bandits following it into a trap but I cannot think of a better person to handle this thing than you Master Edermath!
Yulya refuses any sort of payment for it.

I would like to invite you all to my residence this afternoon to speak to him, please come wearing something less... dungeonous, if you can, I can't require it obviously.
Yulya jolts - remembering her size increase due to Ashleys Wild Magic that bulged out her clothing down to her underwear. She thinks to herself:
Indeed I cannot show up like this! I hope we can find some decent clothes here!

Would 14:00 work for you? Daylinn is making something special for the occasion."
It would be an honor - whatever time is right for you Master Edermath! We shall attend in appropriate attire! Again I cannot thank you enough for your help and hospitality.

53
Off-Topic / Re: Weight Lifting for Size [Bear]
« Last post by Kashtan on July 19, 2026, 03:08:40 pm »
swimming doesnt count as workout? ok its not weight lifting obviously
i admit i was more swimming than at the gym too recently its summer after all. not a long period where you can swim outside here. i made myself kettlebells from 10l water canisters for home. not ideal to grip and you cant really rotate them but for exercises where you lift them straight they work as well.

Alice has workout actually helped you with shooting? guns are heavy our ancient ak4 (swedish g3) weighs over 4kg empty. Almost 5kg with a full mag. 1.5kg more than a fully loaded m4 carbine or ar15. holding that thing while aiming with arms outstretched in a torture. i think it got better now after i started going to the gym.
54
Off-Topic / Re: D&D Meta Thread
« Last post by Kashtan on July 19, 2026, 02:42:10 pm »
lol good shit
its a bit slow and more natural at 1.25x but not bad to watch at 1x imho

dang i had everything ready yesterday after Yulya compiled a textwall of all she wanted to say. then i accidentally the browser and all was lost. went to sleep out of frustration. tryin again now but we gotta start from scratch. really gotta compile larger posts in an editor.
55
Off-Topic / Re: D&D Meta Thread
« Last post by der Bär on July 18, 2026, 07:01:45 pm »
That video is unwatchable at 1x, save time? No, save sanity.
56
Off-Topic / Re: Chat Thread
« Last post by der Bär on July 18, 2026, 06:58:26 pm »
There is a rule of 7% but you wouldn't be buying into an ipo with that logic.
57
Off-Topic / Re: Campaign #1 - Somewhere on the Sword Coast
« Last post by Alice on July 18, 2026, 04:24:08 pm »
"Yes yes, good morning and who might you be?"
He struggles to place Alice, thinking she was reminiscent of the animated doll he met but couldn't possibly be
Alice stares back as Daran as he examines her


After a few moments he realizes that and remarks, "So you can learn to refine your shape, interesting, very interesting, well I certainly wouldn't have been pinching and prodding you if you'd shown up at my door looking this picture perfectly child-like.
Alice looks at her own body in confusion once more.
Is this becoming a running gag? I look the same as always, don't I? Well I wouldn't know. Can't see myself. Maybe I am regaining some of my strength already but I thought it would take until my transformation to achieve a noticeable improvement. Speaking of which - I need my ship for that!

As for the artifact, yes, indeed it is... well, not here in the physical sense, but Andras is also itching to speak to you regarding just that. In that regard, I would like to invite you all to my residence this afternoon to speak to him, please come wearing something less... dungeonous, if you can, I can't require it obviously
Excellent! I assume my Yukata is appropriate? Providing it is warm enough, I will wear that.

I had to personally convince him to save the artifact, if it was up to him, he'd have permanently sealed it away in an empty pocket dimension, or sent it to the center of a celestial sink, but even as it is, he has reported some interesting developments in that regard, but there is the matter of cleanup at the crash site that still needs to be addressed, I would ask you speak to him directly about that. I informed him you were of the same matter and he was interested in seeing you for himself before he teleports away half the mountain to contain the... what did he call it... infection. But don't tell him I said that.
Alice smirks.
Well congratulations Master Edermath! You might have just saved this world. At least future generations in a few centuries. Should the ship disappear and I fail to return, my masters will come looking for me eventually. And they would be very very angry. Which would be very very bad for anyone on his planet. But worry not, I will make sure the ship regains its integrity and the crash site poses no threat, but for that I need to go there and this cold needs to cease. But only once I regain my full strength, this issue can be permanently resolved. I shall explain everything to my best abilities (which are currently limited) at our meeting!

Though he's stern and quiet as he listens to your accounts, he is tickled by much of what Yulya recalls of Mormesk, "The human wizard? He's become a lich by your description..." His voice trails off, "and he took human form to teleport away to Neverwinter? Well I'm sure even that won't fool the mages of the Many-Starred Cloak, I say good luck to him." With gusto he says, "oh how I wish I could have conversed with him and find out how he managed that alone in that sealed chamber all these years. I find it quite curious. Yes yes, I was a young man when I knew the gentleman, and as I recall he was rather haughty and boisterous fellow, not to say he wasn't skilled, but to train a shemlen to that level is frivolous and meaningless in the end considering how little they will end up contributing to the art, but in this case... he still may be of use. I do have a hard time believing he's still of a reasonable alignment and cognizance to be of any real help in that condition however."
Mormesk was cool. He did seem a bit disorientated though, no wonder after being sealed for centuries. But without him, we would have been ghoul food. He said he sealed portals to the Underdark which Nezzer had created. I wonder why anyone would do this. That's insane!

"anyway, I'm disappointed you didn't bring me any orc trophies, I was so looking forward to adding pickled orc tongues to my collection of oddities."
Alice shakes her head.
Never seen an orc in this world, not that I am complaining. But I have my own collection of oddities!

Alice reaches into her backpack and takes out the ex-flaming skull and Nezzer's skin - with a bright and cheerful grin.
I present - a flaming skull the Spectator would summon, and of course - Nezzer the Black Spider!
So who was this guy? As Cat said he was super weak. Summoned a few undead but apart from that even I could have defeated him in my sad current state. But listen to this!
When we had him grappled and cornered, he grabbed an amulet around his neck and teleported himself and me into another plane to the gods. There was our comrade Ashley I think - who had already died by them and that local elf god. I forget his name something like correlation.
Nezzer became younger and just stood next to me in a beautiful garden while the god was having tea with Ashley and other small girls. Without explanation he cut off Nezzer's head and gave it to me.  Nezzer's body was sucked into the Negative Plane by some black vortex. Then he sent me back. I tried to explain about my ship but he said the matter had been resolved. Nobody ever listens to me! The hell was that about? Anyway, that's the story how I got his head. Mormesk skinned it for me. My best trophy so far. The ears are pristine...

Alice compares Nezzer's ears to Daran's while talking about her ear collection...
58
Off-Topic / Re: Chat Thread
« Last post by Alice on July 18, 2026, 03:09:02 pm »
Buy high, sell low
59
Off-Topic / Re: D&D Meta Thread
« Last post by Alice on July 18, 2026, 03:08:35 pm »
Magicians, especially portal uses are the biggest threat to civilization. One retard is enough to cast an entire planet straight into hell. Imagine Freya sitting there after she accidentally Orcas. Orbs man! Not even once!

Also I think the speed is fine, are you Lumi who watches animu at 2x speed to 'save time'?
60
Off-Topic / Re: D&D Meta Thread
« Last post by der Bär on July 18, 2026, 08:32:55 am »
Maximum cringe that you have to play at 1.25x because it's obviously slowed down for some reason.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-MOPg3_NAI
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