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91
General Discussion / Re: Dream thread: Record your tulpa related dreams.
« Last post by Joy on April 13, 2026, 10:45:20 am »
My day job office had a slide in it, like an ultra colorful child slide that was huge and complicated. At the same time there was a party going on and we were firing rockets into the sky in a competition.

A gaggle of HR Karens set up a ultra-colorful plastic automated train for children and suddenly there were a dozen children under 5 running around and ruding it. In the corcer of this rather large room was my desk. I was thinking they were trying to take my office.

The latest rocket had a flat wide nosecone, awful aerodynamics, no wonder it didn't go very high.

Now I was riding the slide down the side of the building but it was blocked at the end and a fat guy who looked like Randy Quaid was looking at me like I did something wrong.



I get off and walk with some familiar people and I was going home, it was night by nowso I get a call, it's the Howard Stern show, Howard wants Tucker Carlson's phone number. I ask them to hold on and I do have it, three numbers:

*979
1-800
And a nromal phone number.

I say goodbuy to Howard and that was it.
92
Off-Topic / Re: Campaign #1 - Somewhere on the Sword Coast
« Last post by Cat on April 13, 2026, 10:20:17 am »
Meanwhile Cat gives Yulya [2d6=3] temporary hit points and fires her crossbow at the zombie again.
Once again, her shot misses. She moves West with Yulya.
Cat scratches her head, wondering if it's the crossbow or her beaten-up state that is to blame.


Trying to stay out of reach of the zombie, puts them 30 ft West. Though the zombie catches up, it's used it's turn to catch up to Yulya, but still charged with electric energy it readies a touch to discharge it's remaining energy (use action).
The zombie doesn't manage to make contact but is still charged.
Yulya Nya!
Cat notices the zombie is still charged and off-limits for a melee attack. Cat waits for Yulya to attack the zombie. If it's still un-alive after that, Cat will fire one honed arrow at the zombie. If not, she'll fire a poisoned arrow at the bulette, leaving the ghoul for later. Assuming that the zombie is eliminated, Cat moves towards the bulette. Should by extreme luck the zombie and the bulette go down, Cat again turns her attention to the ghoul and approaches him for decapitation.
93
Off-Topic / Re: Campaign #1 - Somewhere on the Sword Coast
« Last post by Joy on April 13, 2026, 04:47:38 am »
[Round 7][Ghoul will recover in 30 seconds]

Alice disengages from the bugbears and as a bonus action dashes 80ft west, hoping to lure the bugbears away right to the bird-friends. But without alerting them yet.

[Alice's brilliant and heroic plan: 1d100=4, LUCK: 1d20=7, BUGBEARS Decide: 1d2=(2,2), Stirges Decide: 1d3=(3,1,3)]

Alice's plan failed, but not completely, the Stirges were already alerted and on their way as Alice races West, she skids to a stop, followed by the bugbears as the bird-like creatures reach them. Two of them split off and attack Bugbear 2 while one attacks Alice.

[Grapple vs DC15,14,14 1d20+10=(14,15,29)][HIT vs AC18 1d20+9=(23,15),(28,14)][DMG AUTO-WOUND 1d4+6=9]

Being extremely nimble predators, they swoop in and attempt to grapple and strike their prey. The one targeting Alice just barely misses her but the other two manage to grapple tightly onto Bugbear2 and attack, one of them managing to find a good place to strike and wound him. It's jagged and razor sharp beak plunges deep into the flesh of his scalp causing him one level of exhaustion. The nature of its beak is meant to keep a wound open as they drink the blood of their victim.

Leaving Nezzer behind and out of mind, Alice reconsiders why she couldn't attack him.

[Saving Throw[D] vs DC15 1d20-1+1d4=(11,5)]

She just can't shake the notion that he's just too charismatic to attack.

Meanwhile Cat gives Yulya [2d6=3] temporary hit points and fires her crossbow at the zombie again.

[HIT vs AC10 1d20+1+2+1d4=9]

Once again, her shot misses. She moves West with Yulya.

Yulya spots Alice Run west away from the Bulette with two bugbears in hot pursuit. She casts Toll the Dead, using her goblin staff obviously, on the zombie she hit last time and then retreats 30 ft west with Cat.

[WIS vs DC15 1d20-2=13][DMG 1d12+3+2=10]

The bell tolls and the Zombie is adversely effected, significantly wounding the already weakened creature.

Trying to stay out of reach of the zombie, puts them 30 ft West. Though the zombie catches up, it's used it's turn to catch up to Yulya, but still charged with electric energy it readies a touch to discharge it's remaining energy (use action).

[HIT vs AC15+2 1d20+3=10]

The zombie doesn't manage to make contact but is still charged.



Yulya can sense Nezzer casting something but isn't sure what.

M3gan Panther scratches and bites at the tough hide of the bulette as it desperately attempts to buck her off.

[Escape Grapple STR 17 vs DC23 1d20+7=17][HIT vs AC22 1d20+1+3+10+1d4 (31,22)(28,32)(30,23)][DMG 1d6+3+1+2=11+11+11=33 Magic piercing and slashing]

It just can't manage to shake her and suffers the consequences, as it's hide is ripped and torn. In return, it attempts to slam it's back against a wall.

[SLAM vs AC15= 1d20+13=21][DMG 2d10+10=20 M3gan Panther's metallic structure resists bludgeoning so she takes 10 damage]



You can tell by her scuffs and cracks that M3gan Panther is near her end as well.

[Note: Cat's great sword and longbow are both magic +1 so the blade and arrows will not be resisted by the bulette's resistance, they have +1 to hit and damage.]

[Make your moves]
94
Off-Topic / Re: Campaign #1 - Somewhere on the Sword Coast
« Last post by Alice on April 12, 2026, 07:21:55 pm »
Alice hears battle sounds from the other side of the large doors to the south and spends her last Ki point on Step of the Wind (Disengage+Dash) and makes a run for the door. Busting through the double doors, she sees the bulette with the large cat she's seen before riding it's back holding fast. She looks every bit an electrified, demonized machine in action.[/i]

Alice tries to ride on top of it and grapple it.
Even with advantage, given its wild flailing, she can't manage to mount the beast. Though it's very much still active, it's looking haggard and scratched badly by the efforts of the panther.
Being shaken off, Alice's plan or riding the bulette has crumbled.
Damn, what a mess. And I actually wanted to help you too!

The bugbears chase have to dash to keep up with Alice's speed. They barely catch up to her.
Alice's eyes dart between the Mecha-panther, the bulette friend and the bugbear gentlemen that surround her.



She sighs and with a heavy heart chooses not to interfere in the battle between the Candy-goddess who crashed her ship and the bulette-friend fighting for freedom.


Forgive me, Panther-Candygoddess, I really wanna help you, but the gentlemen here are a bit persistent!
Alice disengages from the bugbears and as a bonus action dashes 80ft west, hoping to lure the bugbears away right to the bird-friends. But without alerting them yet.

Follow me gentlemen, or you'll be torn apart by my friend here! She's about as unreasonable as you!
95
Off-Topic / Re: D&D Meta Thread
« Last post by Alice on April 12, 2026, 07:06:55 pm »
I can already hear the whining that this isn't 'heroic'. I actually wanted to help out M3gan here, not leave her alone with a bulette and 3 bugbars. But alas, I guess we'll also involve the bird friends. I don't wanna fight any of them, just Nezzer. Which I can't. So let's just see what happens...
96
General Discussion / Re: Dream thread: Record your tulpa related dreams.
« Last post by Alice on April 12, 2026, 07:04:02 pm »
>when you have erotic dreams even in sleep paralysis
Just Bear things
97
Off-Topic / Re: Chat Thread
« Last post by Joy on April 12, 2026, 04:04:31 pm »
[Bear] The world was watching, no F-ups is all I wanted
98
Off-Topic / Re: Chat Thread
« Last post by Kashtan on April 12, 2026, 03:04:30 pm »
watching the landing with Yulya was - interesting.
at every slight delay or crew reporting a nothingburger problem she was like 'omg are they gonna die now?'
i seriously dunno how that girl turned out so pessimistic. the smallest issue is a catastrophe. ok to be fair things have improved since she started playing dnd and actually has to deal with things. but even that is constant drama.
99
Off-Topic / Re: Campaign #1 - Somewhere on the Sword Coast
« Last post by Yulya on April 12, 2026, 02:58:26 pm »
Shambling along, the zombie moves unerringly toward Cat and Yulya, taking a straight line to you, the arcs jump to her but she's unaffected by them, something she's wearing is directing the energy into the ground. However, zombies are also somewhat slow and she doesn't manage to reach you. Her current position is within the range of the throne; the arcs show an unreal display of power. By the looks of it, a melee strike from this creature could conduct the lightning to her target.
Like Cat Yulya watches with horror that the undead is not only unharmed by the sparks of the throne but even appears to be utilizing them!
Oh no Cat we have to fall back!



Yulya is relieved that Cat did not choose to attack. She casts Toll the Dead on the zombie she hit last time and then retreats 30 ft west with Cat.

The tunnel heading West extends 120ft and in the dim light of wall lamps you see a bulette attempting to buck a black shape offm its back.
Oh! M3gan turned into panther form - fighting a bulette? Where is Alice?
Yulya is not too keen on getting trapped between two fights. Plus the ghoul is also still there.
Cat we need to finish things here! But be careful!
100
Off-Topic / Re: Campaign #1 - Somewhere on the Sword Coast
« Last post by Cat on April 12, 2026, 09:29:05 am »
Cat's bolt jams and she wastes her turn to unjam it safely.
Cat is visibly disappointed, fumbling with her prized crossbow.


Shambling along, the zombie moves unerringly toward Cat and Yulya, taking a straight line to you, the arcs jump to her but she's unaffected by them, something she's wearing is directing the energy into the ground. However, zombies are also somewhat slow and she doesn't manage to reach you. Her current position is within the range of the throne; the arcs show an unreal display of power. By the looks of it, a melee strike from this creature could conduct the lightning to her target.
Cat watches with disbelief as the zombie moves through the arcs unharmed. Having learned her lesson the hard way, Cat doesn't even think about a melee attack. She gives Yulya temp HP and fires her crossbow at the zombie again. Cat only has jagged bolts so a jagged bolt it is.
Then she moves West into the tunnel hoping the zombie will leave the Throne and become attackable.
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