Author Topic: Lost's Diary  (Read 7143 times)

Lost's Diary
« on: October 05, 2013, 12:25:50 PM »
Okay, so I can finally start working on this.

A little background, however. Like many others, I came across the concept of a tulpa through one CreepyPasta entry mentioned by a friend. At first, I thought nothing of it. Artificial thought-form given sentience? Read into it before. However, and I don't remember the exact chain of events, but something happened, and I came to the old site. I'm not exactly one for coincidences, so I continued to look into it. I read around for a few days, read about 6 of the guides or so, and figured the people there were at least somewhat big into it. Then, I joined the chat room, figured it'd be better to talk to some of the people there to get a better idea.

I spent a good several hours in there, over the course of a few days and asked around. Asked a few questions, tried to find some of the logic behind the phenomenon, and found my own rationalization for the process. I disappeared for a few months to think it over, and recently decided to go through with it a couple weeks ago.

With all of that said, I do not necessarily have a plan for this. I do not have a set name, sex, personality, appearance, or any of that decided on right now. I am going with the rationalization that either I will get a feeling for it later on and use that, or I'll simply let it decide on all of that on it's own.

The plan is to be on mostly narrating while doing other things, with more dedicated sessions in the morning and at night before bed. Early to bed, early to rise, gives me plenty of time. (Down with the sun, and up with it too.) Changes in plan will be noted as time progresses.

Edit

Sunday, December 29, 2013
After some thought, I've come decided to make a few changes to the original plan. These deviations include a more concrete personality, gender, appearance, and so forth. I will, however, be keeping these plans to myself until further notice. I'm aware these are subject to change at whims not my own, but at least I have a place to begin now.

Additionally, I feel it important to note that I may be taking a forced absence from the internet as more bills accumulate over the money we're earning. A loss of internet, as well as possible eviction are likely until further notice.

With that said, I plan on taking some precautions now, which include saving some files, and writing up a sort of diary of events that take place while I'm gone.
« Last Edit: December 29, 2013, 08:02:18 PM by Lost »

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Re: Lost's Diary
« Reply #1 on: October 05, 2013, 05:59:16 PM »
Sounds good to me.

I followed the same path.
I found the old site back last June from the /mlp/ posts about tulpas, read the core guides and it wasn't until this May I ran into the creepypasta and remembered the site. Then I decided to venture into the chat rooms where I really took everything seriously ( because having a sentient being inside your head seemed a little off to me back then). Then I delayed creation even more until this August when my friend told me to stop delaying it.
And here I am now.

I'm sure everything will fill in beautifully, in time. You definitely sound like you're on the right track.
I was the one who decided everything immediately upon starting, who knows if that was for any good and I can never force during the night.
I fall asleep easily when forcing but not at any other time, isn't that odd?
You better keep us updated.
I think there's barely such a case as insta-tulpas, it's a rare when that sort of thing happens. If that truly happens good for you.
But tulpas are friends, not trophies with a made up story to impress people.

Re: Lost's Diary
« Reply #2 on: October 05, 2013, 07:50:42 PM »
I plan on (aside from today) attempting a daily update on the matter on any progress. However, the biggest problem I'm facing now is, if I do indeed plan on letting the personality, form, etc..., develop over time, I'm curious how to go about forcing until that point is reached. Narration, as mentioned, sounds like the best course for now. Anything of note will, of course, be placed here, regardless of how extraordinary or insignificant it may seem at the time.

As far as falling asleep, I personally don't see it as much of a problem. Reason being? I have a sleep disorder (diagnosed, mind you) that greatly inhibits my sleep quality. I haven't had a decent night of sleep but twice in the last 15 years or so. The first was after being put under for surgery, and the second was after a dose of NyQuil before bed. Another means of being able to fall asleep would be quite welcome.

But I digress. My schedule and all is usually rather flexible, so I don't see too much getting in the way.

Re: Lost's Diary
« Reply #3 on: October 06, 2013, 03:10:29 AM »
I usually think that just talking to your tulpa about their supposed personality basically does nothing to actually form it, seeing it as something that's basically just narration. Useful and good of course, but the topic just happens to be what you think the tupper is like. In the end, it will be something very different anyways. They do learn and grow, so who they are will definitely be shaped by time. If tulpas are shaped by what we want, I don't think you have to actually force or say it out loud for it to happen. It would already happen just because you want it. Your wants probably do shape them somewhat, but when you give them space to do what they want and grow into the person they want to be, it'll happen. Maybe. So "forcing" a personality probably isn't going to hurt you at all, just give you a topic to talk about.

I did tons of personality work because that was the thing you did back in the day. While I can definitely see some of that in Roswell, how he actually ended up was a really big surprise. Like, maybe I can still slap some of the same traits I used on him now, but they're used very differently from what I had in mind. He also is very different now than he was when he just got vocal, so time has done a lot to shape him, too.

Same with form really, it's quite simple to just change if the tulpa wants to. Nothing is locked down just because you do it and who knows, working on a form might be the best way to see if deviations do happen.

Buuuuut narration is always a thing. Personality or form work might be a nice thing to do now and then, though. Give you something else to do to break out of your routine for shits and giggles.

Re: Lost's Diary
« Reply #4 on: October 06, 2013, 07:57:07 AM »
So "forcing" a personality probably isn't going to hurt you at all, just give you a topic to talk about.
Duly noted.

Quote
I did tons of personality work because that was the thing you did back in the day. While I can definitely see some of that in Roswell, how he actually ended up was a really big surprise. Like, maybe I can still slap some of the same traits I used on him now, but they're used very differently from what I had in mind. He also is very different now than he was when he just got vocal, so time has done a lot to shape him, too.

Same with form really, it's quite simple to just change if the tulpa wants to. Nothing is locked down just because you do it and who knows, working on a form might be the best way to see if deviations do happen.

Buuuuut narration is always a thing. Personality or form work might be a nice thing to do now and then, though. Give you something else to do to break out of your routine for shits and giggles.
I had already figured something like that might happen as well. I was merely planning on not doing anything specific until I got some idea to at least play around with. I figured I'd either get a bit of inspiration or an idea that would just seem out of nowhere. In either case, I'll get there when I get there.

Re: Lost's Diary
« Reply #5 on: October 08, 2013, 07:57:06 PM »
So, I've done as I said I was, and simply started with my narration. Nothing was really out of the ordinary.

However, something last night was interesting. I was ending my night in my usual way. Hopped off of the computer, did my chores, bathroom, then bed. It is while in bed that I do a fair bit of my narrating. Now, to be fair, I do not necessarily have a busy life (though I do have a rather busy schedule). Most of my day-to-day is likely to bore anyone. So, I spend a lot of my time "narrating" emotions, and my more candid thoughts. It's amazing how you can lie to yourself in your head, but I digress.

During this process, I had a bit of what felt like a dream sequence of images. These were very realistic, where I saw the image of a younger girl in what appeared to be a sort of Shinto / Buddhist temple. I however, remain somewhat skeptical of this as anything important. I've had lucid dreams before in that sort of environment, with another character before. This might very well have been a result of my being on the border of the awake / asleep border, an idea on how to progress with this, or any other number of things.  In any case, keeping it documented for further reference may come in handy, and I may end up toying with it in the near or distant future to see how it feels.

Edit: For what it's worth, lucid dreaming is something I've been toying with off and on for the last several years.
« Last Edit: October 08, 2013, 07:58:47 PM by Lost »

Re: Lost's Diary
« Reply #6 on: October 12, 2013, 09:44:54 AM »
The last few days have been incredibly busy, but nothing of note happened.

Re: Fart's Diary
« Reply #7 on: October 12, 2013, 01:43:18 PM »
If nothing interesting is happening, perhaps it is time to spice up the daily routine. I should let you know that it's not strictly necessary to use headphones. If you have speakers, great. Even if you don't have any device that can output audio, it still has an effect; it just won't be as great as it would be with headphones.

Shameless advertising.
« Last Edit: October 21, 2013, 02:48:41 AM by Fede »

Re: Lost's Diary
« Reply #8 on: October 12, 2013, 06:35:02 PM »
If nothing interesting is happening, perhaps it is time to spice up the daily routine. I should let you know that it's not strictly necessary to use headphones. If you have speakers, great. Even if you don't have any device that can output audio, it still has an effect; it just won't be as great as it would be with headphones.

Shameless advertising.

I believe I actually posted in your thread already? I was planning on using it already, but part of the problem was 1, the headphones and 2, the family. I've used audio ones before, and if someone comes in to random noises, it's going to be something to explain indeed. Perhaps I'll be able to get away with it on Monday or Tuesday morning.

Re: Lost's Diary
« Reply #9 on: October 12, 2013, 07:27:43 PM »
I guess you could say it's some kind of meditation technique you're trying if someone walks in on you...

Re: Lost's Diary
« Reply #10 on: October 12, 2013, 10:22:52 PM »
I guess you could say it's some kind of meditation technique you're trying if someone walks in on you...
That would so not work. xD  Hmm... Could try it at night and say it's some noise cancellation something or other.

Re: Lost's Fart
« Reply #11 on: October 13, 2013, 01:49:05 AM »
Oh, I thought you weren't gonna use it (for now) because you lack head-sitting audio equipment, so I'd just want to assure you that you can use it without said equipment and still produce better visual results.

Just tell it like it is: eye workout.
« Last Edit: October 21, 2013, 02:48:39 AM by Fede »

Re: Lost's Diary
« Reply #12 on: October 17, 2013, 08:52:32 AM »
Oh, I thought you weren't gonna use it (for now) because you lack head-sitting audio equipment, so I'd just want to assure you that you can use it without said equipment and still produce better visual results.
Interesting. I'll try that, then.

Quote
Just tell it like it is: eye workout.
That won't fly. Trust me.

Re: Lost's Diary
« Reply #13 on: December 28, 2013, 10:08:31 PM »
Alright, so incredibly long hiatus was thrust upon me. I'll spare you all the details, but it's like this. Finances. Enough said.

Now, with that out of the way, I'll admit to having fallen off the wagon with this, and am going to be getting back into this full swing tonight and tomorrow. A little rereading, and change a few of my prior plans as required. The details may be kept more private, at least for now, but shall be updated all the same.

Re: Lost's Diary
« Reply #14 on: December 29, 2013, 08:01:06 PM »
My opening post has been updated.