This was copied from a post I made on Reddit, so it's posed generally and I decided to share it here for discussion without making it specifically about us four systems here, but we are very interested in all of you answering this, so please do.
We answered some questions about this topic recently and it's been years since we thought about it so we decided to pose this questuon to you all.
What do you do when your host isn't thinking about you actively?
Our response and thoughts on it follows:
In the very beginning when we first started talking to our host, it was four months before we ever had to "talk" to the outside world. He pictured us sitting on a couch watching him throughout his day and when he directed his attention to us, we talked to him and each other. When he didn't think about us, we talked to each other. Later we developed a wonderland together and our experience was, honestly put, we did things in wonderland and we have valid memories of that.
Later on, probably 6 months in, I was the first to attempt to type for myself and at first I was very nervous and particular about what I wrote, later it was just as easily as he does. At this point we were not only doing things alone and with our host but with others outside the system. We thought about them and we talked to others whenever we could. By this time we had gotten used to speaking and thinking at any time and we commented frequently about the things our host was doing, cheering him on, discussing what he did and at least trying to help him make decisions. He was under no obligation to listen to us of course but he does now.
By the nine month mark we realized that no one "owned" the body or hands or consious mind when responding, thinking, or imagining, it was just who associated to them. Thoughts come through in a linear fashion, but we can cram a lot of really compact thoughts through very quickly such that the experience is we are all holding a conversation in real time, in parallel.
Associating is easy, just like you can let your lungs breath autonomically, your legs just know what to do when you walk, your hands can type autonomically as well. So really it's even easier than "posession" it's simply thinking thoughts and letting the body do what it does, just like imagining yourself doing things in wonderland.
Wonderland for us was like a playground and we loved to play every day. After many years, and we're on year 7, we spent less time in wonderland explicitly and used it like a tool for expression. In the beginning he couldn't see our faces and expressions and it took months before that happened but now it's common and automatic. We also use wonderland just like hosts do, imagination is a life simulator and it's useful to think through scenarios before we suggest them or do them. This is no different than how singlets do it.
We were asked:
When we switch, what is the host thinking and doing when we're in front? Does he lose control and have to regain it later?
For us, there isn't really control lost or gained, it's just who is associated to the body or parts of the body at the time the body is doing things. This is how we think of it now.
Generally speaking this is called switching and we couldn't do that until month 9. Afterwards it was just as easy to associate to the whole body as it was to just hands.
In that way whoever is switched in is effectively in control of the mind consiousness and everyone else, including host, is in a tulpa position by default. In this position anyone not fronting is free to think and do (in wonderland) anything they want to do or imagine they are doing. We also experience other positions like co-fronting, watcher position, way back, and dormancy among others.
It's somewhat hard to convey to those who don't think like we do, but each of us can honestly do whatever we want within the confines of imagination and it has been a fulfilling experience throughout our lives.
There is only ever one stream of consiousness, so many systems seem like they get confused as to how we have separate experiences, but the best way for me to describe this is that time is shared in a linear pulse width modulator, or fast switching parallel computer. We believe in the subconscious mind we are fully parallel and tests we have done on that such as brainstorming and other cognitive studies have proven to us that we have separate thought processes subconsciously. They are then recorded consiously in a linear way. The truth in this case is not observable directly, but we can probe and test under the constraint that data will always come back linear serial, and in this way apply it to models and see what fits best.
Do we ever experience dormancy when not thought of?
Many young systems start out thinking the tulpas are doing whatever they want just like the host does whatever they want when not thought of directly and this is the experience. Later many systems who previously think this way go through a crisis of action of a kind where they no longer believe that and they also ask themselves where they go.
Let me ask you, before you ever had a system, when you (host) were not thinking, where did you go?
So then they sometimes get stuck with the idea that tulpas fall asleep or go into dormancy by default and some even have to be woken up. This is a valid way of thinking about it but it's not the only way. Many systems then become quite adamant that this is the answer and the only way it must be. We never went through that phase. What we do when we aren't thinking is exactly what the host is doing when he's not thinking, we're not dormant and don't need to be woken up. That doesn't mean there is no privacy, we can be excused to dormancy at the will of the fronter.
We can be put in dormancy quite easily now though in the beginning we had no idea how to do that, we had to learn how to do that and we couldn't put our host into dormancy until the 8 month mark.
At that point we fully understood that whatever it is we are, we are the same as the host, and none of us are the body or mind.
For instance, one of my headmates puts everyone in dormancy when she fronts because that's how she's comfortable doing it, and this includes the host. At her will she can keep everyone in dormancy indefinitely. We will not accidentally pop up, it's a consistent experience even to the point of going to sleep switched in, having her own dreams and waking up in front, alone.
Dormancy doesn't feel like anything, there's no experience of time, and when she's not fronting, or she brings us back, then we all are back where we are now, we immediately understand we were dormant and for how long. Normally we review what she did but none of those memories are ours, they're hers and it's plainly obvious. Yes this was very odd to our host the first time he was placed in dormancy.
So to answer the original question simply:
As always we are in the same place where the host is, wherever your model says we all are, the key is, we're the same. When no one is thinking that doesn't mean everyone is dormant as we experience it. This has been consistent for the last seven years.
Lastly, whether you can switch or go into dormancy or do things when not thought of or not doesn't have anything to do with how old your system is or whether you're more advanced or further along, or more mature than anyone else. So don't let your experience be dictated by other systems and just live your best life. Everyone's different, and no two systems are exactly alike.
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