New progress (?)
I'll just copypaste from tumblr because.
So uhm, I wanted to write this to sum up the last 3-4 days, where we got into possessoin once again. We asked for a bit on the IRC about what to do, what exercises should we do in order to gain more strenght for me and more dissociation for me, but we didn’t really got any good help (other than a massive amount of “practice more” and “keep believing in god, he will help you”). Other than moving hands, we didn’t really knew what to do, but after a bit we got the idea of playing games. I was playing OpenArena (which is a famou-…semi-famous open source game) and Cheryl asked me to play it. I let her try and…oh my god she’s good at it. It was just a test, the bots were set on minimum, but she played almost as good as me. The possession felt amazing, I could feel a gently wave of chill all around my body and an unknown strenght which was slowly powering my hands. After a couple of plays, we decided to raise the bot level a bit and she managed to handle them all too. She said it was a good idea and she would have liked to play it a bit more in the future. I was sincerly happy, because we had found a good source of “training” and “entertainment”. The second day, after a couple more plays of openarena, she asked me to let her play Portal 2, I said that there was no problem and so she started, as you can tell I made quite a few posts about this early on ( you can see them by just going into the main page of my tumblr). She’s having quite a lot of fun with it, and…yeah, there’s nothing much techinal-wise to say about it, just my head-hands moving on their own and some small accelerated thinking.
The real deal came today, when she wanted to try Quake Live, she did good “as usual”, but the fun thing is that for the first time she challenged a real human, which is a friend of mine. He’s called Carmack and he’s quite the concept of “perfection” in terms of precision and reflexes, she did some frags but she couldn’t follow his velocity. It was still a nice test and I felt like this was something new for both of us.
I can’t really tell I’m feeling more dissociated every day, because that would be a lie, but sometimes there are spikes of…uhm…concentration? when she uses her full potential (and my full potential) and I can tell there’s something (small) going on, but I can’t tell what. It’s pretty nice.
And…we keep going.
