8/10/2014 (Sunday) - Started to
lose concentration during hypnagogia today.
As usual, I've woken up with a hurry, immediately remembering the state and slipping into hypnagogia.
After about 5 to 10 minutes, I started to lose concentration as more and more
intrusive thoughts would come in uninvited.
Using the
same technique as I do when I meditate, I tried to lower the rate, but I eventually lost concentration and was only able to visualize Probitas just as, if not worse than the way I normally do.
Something to note as well, asking him questions, narrarating, or forcing with him at all hasn't made him to change his position at all. I'm starting to get worried on whether or not he's actually been created, or if I'm actually forcing him still instead of allowing him to move.
Since parroting is a conscious action, that's most likely not the problem,
but more of if he's actually considered a tulpa.
I know I shouldn't be doubting, and more so the fact that he's just recently been created and
isn't at all sentient, but it worries me to know that he hasn't been seen to move,
even during the State.
I'll be researching more on this topic, and I'll see if I should be worrying about this.
I may not be feeding him enough attention, as I haven't been narrating very often as of late.
Note; Even during hypnagogia, forcing with Probitas hasn't been seen to trigger a response in any way.
8/11/2014 (Monday) - Today is the first day that I can say I was truthfully in hypnagogia.
As soon as I realized I was slipping out of sleep, I immediately resorted to slipping into the State.
I was forcing with him for about thirty minutes to an hour or so before I finally slipped out of the State.
Although it may not mean anything of importance, I asked him if he could help me to visualize the Wonderland better later on in the day.
After I asked, the Wonderland seemed much clearer than it normally would when I'm visualizing; I could recognize thicker details more clearer.
Keep note that this may mean a possible sentience may be in Probitas, although it is unclear at the moment.
I've tried the technique of asking him to surprise me many times (as well as to ask him questions often) and I've never once gotten a response.
Note; Possible sentience due to a response to a request.
8/12/2014 (Tuesday) - Couldn't connect to the State.
Meanwhile, I've tried about a thirty minute to hour session of forcing with Probitas.
It's not very long, I know; I'm trying to work on that at the moment.
I also tried playing the Black Box with him today.
It seemed when it was his turn, I couldn't get a response.
However, I did seem to get a response when it was my turn.
I had picked a stick or duck of some sort into a box; it was the first thing I could think of.
My mind seemed to have gone fuzzy and/or confused, and so my mind started generating several responses at once.
With so many responses flooding me at the time, I couldn't tell which one was actually his response.
Some responses ranged from a doll up to a ocean in the black box; I just couldn't tell which one was his.
It seemed my brain seemed to be generating responses for me rather than him to be answering.
Then again, it could be the theory of him being too young to be original, the fact that he's not fully sentient, or something of the sorts.
Note; Black Box technique failed. Too many responses were generated, and possible sentience can't be confirmed at the time.
8/13/2014 (Wednesday) - My forcing session today lasted entirely of asking questions.
With topics running out to narrate about, I decided to ask questions would be easier.
Because of this, my forcing session lasted only 5-10 minutes, and I haven't narrated at all today, which is terribly pathetic.
Meanwhile, on the bright side, I've tried the Black Box strategy again today.
For some reason though, I couldn't think of anything to put into the Box; or, at least, anything that would be static.
Everything I put into the Box changed simultaneously to something else.
I ended up not getting a single movement or response out of Probitas today.
I need to give him more attention, and make sure he's making progress.
8/14/2014 (Thursday) - I got a response out of Probitas today when I noticed something in the Wonderland had changed.
Recently, when I had made the Wonderland, the table in the back of the house had seemed to want to change.
When I came into the Wonderland yesterday as well as a couple days ago, it seemed to be something such as an old and rusty washing machine, the model I remember to be a washing machine from the 1980s and 1990s.
I didn't think much of the change until today.
I changed the washer back to the table earlier in the morning today, and when I came into the Wonderland it was back to the machine.
I then changed it back to the table for the third time and asked Probitas to change it back when I left if it was he who wanted the change, so I knew it was him making the change and not me subconsciously changing the table, even though that might be considered a response in some cases.
Focusing hard on the table, I finally left the Wonderland and didn't think about the table for a while.
Five minutes later when I came back into the Wonderland, the machine was back, just as it's been here for the past week or so.
I admit it wasn't the most safe nor the most accurate way of insuring that it was his response, but it was the best I could do at that point in time.
Something to note as well, I've recently updated from 8/12/2014 to 8/14/2014.
Note; Possible progress and possible sentience due to a change in the Wonderland.
Updated from 8/12/2014 to 8/14/2014.
8/15/2014 (Friday) - Not much happened at all.
Failed hypnagogia.
I hardly even got to force or narrate to him very much at all today, which is very saddening to say.
Pisses me off greatly that I couldn't find a place to actively force, nor to remember to narrate as much as possible.
I suppose I have gotten into a habit of saying, "Good morning, Probitas."
As well as this, "Good night, Probitas."
8/16/2014 (Saturday) - Successful hypnagogia.
Spent about 10, 15 minutes purely of
asking him questions and
visualizing him and the Wonderland.
Been able to narrate for about 30 minutes, of ending to a loss of words.
I suppose I'll
read my book later and connect it to him, as that could be considered some form of narration.
I was also able to go over his personality traits again with him today, which I've been wanting to do for a while.