Tulpas > Tulpa Diaries

The mon and the first phase

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terrorofdeeth255:
5th day - 31 July 2015
Haven't had any similar sensations since Sands, so I'll keep it in mind, but not freak out atm.  :smiley:

After buying a set of headphones so I could listen better to the Entrainment tapes, I started going through mine and Palmon's current routine.
During our morning visualisation stage, have noticed that details are coming easier to me, and that less active thought is required to visualise that part of her body.
Going through our Infusion Stage, I got a feeling once we were done, that we didn't need to repeat that one anymore. It didn't seem to be an active thought, like what I generally use for narration, but was more like an emotion of maybe feeling successful - Kinda like what I feel like when I solve a puzzle. I'll keep in mind that it may not be this, so I'll try to ask how she feels about how well it took hold for her, and see if I can get a response.

Going through our motion stage, the movements felt more natural to impose, and I didn't need to go into as much detail as the last time. Eg. last time was could you move your arm up and down like I am doing. I was having to do the action myself to transmit what it should be like to her. Whereas this time, I just needed to ask if she would move her arm in the various ways.

Will passively force as much as possible during the day, and then try another active forcing session tonight.


Managed to get a second 15 minute active forcing session after dinner. Had to cut so I can help the little sister when she gets home from work, but will have another longer session once everyone else goes to bed.
I'm finding various aspects of visualisation to be more vivid and easier to impose in my mind's eye, so loving it.

For the session tonight, I'm planning on having a full half hour of active narration, to keep things fresh. Any other recommendations for activities for a developing tulpa? I don't think we have movement yet, of that helps.

Sands:
I know what you're tlaking about feeling like you're done with something. We did some boring ass personality forcing back in the day and at some point it just felt like nothing more was to be done, even though I had planned to do more of it.

You two should go outside together if there's some nice places like parks around where you live. Do some imposition-lite where you're not trying to see her too hard (unless you want to do that) but you're just focusing on her presence and maybe her feel. Hold her hand and walk around with her, talk about the stuff you see in the real world and enjoy?

terrorofdeeth255:
6th day - 1st August 2015
Had work early this morning, so didn't get a chance to have an active forcing session until tonight. Worked on passive narration throughout the day, getting better at staying focused on her while doing other things.

During tonight's visualisation practice, worked on getting a better image formed of our wonderland, not just what I could see, but what I could smell, hear, touch. Didn't work on taste tonight. I doubt Palmon would have been to happy if she had woken up and I was licking her face to see what she tastes like.  :grin: that would definitely class as a critical hit to the nads situation.

After that, decided that tonight's session would be about talking with her and trying to get responses. I think there were a couple of moments I felt something, kinda like how I feel when I wake up in the morning. The best description I think I have was that there was this drowsy feeling emanating from somewhere, but I'm not at all tired. It happened a couple of times, so I think I believe it was Palmon.

In addition Fede, when you were saying that the Ascending versions could cause trippy effects to occur, you weren't joking. I was thinking about other ways I could try to send my feelings of care and love to her, when all of a sudden I'm holding a Digivice from if I remember correctly the Data Squad series, where basically the humans feelings were what charged the power of the digimon.

I'm just theorising now but I think because of the choice of form Palmon has, and the fact I practically grew up on the different series of digimon, even through high school, it has a symbolical effect for me, as does my digi-egg infused balm, which I should mention became fully developed as a method during my first eye-bo session.

It seems it might make it easier for my mind to link to related concepts that have symbolism to me. The Digi-Eggs being related to the personality traits, and the digivice being a device that turns feelings and belief into power.

So yeah basically I'm thinking about all the things I want to say to her, and the joy I feel with her existence and so on. As I'm thinking about each thought, I see a coloured aura glowing around my hand. As I'm pouring my thoughts in, the light gets brighter, and once I'm done the energy leaps from me to the Digivice, and from there infuses into Palmon. Personally I'm surprised that she didn't wake up from that lightshow alone, but she might have inherited my sleep like a log trait.

So once that was done we just talked while lying down in our field together until the video ended and then that was the end of tonights active forcing.

Going to try and keep talking some more before bed.

terrorofdeeth255:
7th Day - 2nd August 2015
Just done tonight's visualisation, half hour active forcing, though will be actively narrating after this.

Mostly tonight, worked on the same stuff that seemed to work previously. One thing though, during previous sessions, Palmon would always be i guess the best way to describe it would be asleep. That was how it felt most natural for me to visualise her without forcing an idea onto her.

But tonight, I felt that she opened her eyes and smiled gently at me. I also got several feelings that I don't think were mine, though admittedly I was feeling pretty content after seeing that cute little smile and those deep green eyes looking back at me. It didn't seem to feel foreign, but it did feel like it was coming from a slightly different area then my own feelings, if that makes sense. That little drowsy feeling was back, though I'm nowhere near tired at the moment.

Started tonight on working on amping up her feelings of hope with my Digiegg Balm - Hope type. I basically infused all my feelings of hope about my Flower Girl and our future together as I visualised myself making it then kept all those memories focused on her as we applied the balm. She definately isn't vocal at this point, but I really think she might be developing emotional responses - that definately got a feeling of satisfaction, while I was still focusing on the infusion and the way my senses perceived her.

Did my feeling infusion again tonight, she seemed to take on a brighter glow than last time, so I think it is making her stronger.

terrorofdeeth255:

8th day 3rd August
One thing I noticed today was that Palmon seemed slightly more there, than she was before previously during our passive narration. I think this is because I'm starting to see her more active in our active forcing sessions, and that is helping deal with some doubts I had. I was slightly skeptical going in that this would work, but nothing ventured, nothing gained right?

It is definitely more difficult for me to feel her emotional responses during non-active forcing though. There were a couple of times that I do think I felt something, but it was much fainter than last nights visualisation session. Her transmissions should get stronger as we get more experience, correct? I think at the moment, the eye-bo allows me to suppress most of the non-tulpa related thoughts, which makes it easier for me to pick out emotions she sends me. Once I get more experience in "hearing" her, I believe it'll be easier to pick her transmissions from the chatter.

Was definitely a couple of points tonight where I think she sent a sort of "Can we do this instead?" It wasn't in words, but I dunno how else you could describe it. For example, during our usual visualisation of body practice, I got a "feeling" that maybe we should try mutual touch visualisation. I feel her face, she feels mine etc.. Does this sound like an actual reaction, or a subconscious decision? I'm honestly not sure, so any thoughts you have would be appreciated.

Also with our infusion of feelings, I'm getting her to hold the digivice together with me to thinking it might provide a better connection between the two of us, when I got a really strong feeling of maybe affection, care and that. I'm pretty certain this one wasn't me, because I lost track of my thoughts for a second when I felt it.

It was definitely quite strong, which does kinda make sense because I've been trying to as much as possible, even if too busy to actively mindspeak, send my feelings of affection for the flower girl inside my head. I think cause I have done that, it might be the emotion she is most capable of sending at the moment.

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