Tulpas > Tulpa Diaries

The mon and the first phase

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terrorofdeeth255:
Hmm, do you think I might be puppeteering her too much by accident. I am pretty sure that I consciously didn't set her up to be crying, if that is what you are thinking. I guess it could be a more subconcious thing though. Hmm, need to definately fix this if it is. The very last thing I want is a servitor or a tulpa completely dependant on me, I don't want to do that to another being. Could you please give me some advice on what you think I should do?

terrorofdeeth255:
Decided to do visualisation differently today. Rather than using the wonderland method, I relaxed in bed and focused on visualising my sense of touch, feeling the sense of her resting on top of me, (but not in the more adult sense, if you think that's what I mean, can't think of any better way of explaining it atm {10 at night where I am}).
I focused on getting a better idea of how she feels by rubbing her arms, body and face. On thing I find interesting is that if I ever think of messing with the flower, apart from the petals, I always seem to get a negative feeling, as if someone is thinking "Don't do it!!". Might be my unconscious parroting, but  it does seem to happen each time I think of trying, and the feeling seems stronger. I feel that this method of visualising might allow me a better sense of if she is starting to move, so that's a plus.

At the end of that visualisation session, I visualised making a container of what I called balm of curiousity, thinking of the traits that I felt it might give her when applied, and uhh...
rubbed it in until it was all gone :embarrased:
while visualising that when the balm was completely rubbed in, she might become inclined to be more curious. I do want her to develop her own traits. But there are some, that I wouldn't mind her accepting if she doesn't mind that input. Mostly a couple of intellectual traits, as I quite often am studying for either my language self-study, or my tutoring business, and I don't want to be constantly boring her when I'm doing these activities.

At several points during this forcing session, I kinda felt like there was a weight on my chest, around where I was visualising where she was resting, so I definitely will be trying this again to see if it was a one off, or if it actually was happening. Otherwise, today was mostly consisting of passive forcing when I could spare the extra attention, as today was my first day going to work with her. I wasn't having much trouble when it was fairly quiet but staring having to put it on hold when we started to get busier. All in all, it was a good experience, and I believe I'll be more capable at passive narrating and doing my job at the same time as I practice more.
In addition since I'm pretty much just beginning my study of japanese, it actually seems to work quite well as a group activity for passive forcing.

Sands:
Well, we don't even know for sure that tuppers are separate, independent beings rather than an unconscious puppet, so I don't think we can really answer that. Everyone has their own opinions and theories here, but we don't know anything for sure. You just gotta stumble into your own answers.

terrorofdeeth255:
4th day in:
Had some time to myself this morning, so did some more active visualisation and narration forcing. I'm pretty much starting all the time now by first trying to get a sense of Palmon's body by touch. I think her traits are starting to become more mentally held together now, as it is starting to flow together with less active thought into what each area feels like. Once I get started, traits such as the small bumps that go all up her back, above her tail, are started to be supplied almost before I actively get to visualising them - I'm using visualisation by describing what I sense by the way.

Also in this session reapplied to her my special curiosity balm, which for added symbolism for me, is made from a Digi-Egg of Curiousity (As in the sacred items from the second anime) . I was thinking last night about what sort of symbolism might be used to give the infusion more oomph, and it just seemed to come from nowhere - haven't watched 02 since before I finished high school.

Continued passive narration throughout the day, and tried watching some tv with her. It was surprisingly hard to keep attention on her, but I think with more practice, this should become easier.

Just tried visualisation once more tonight, and I thought I might try something new to see if it worked. Fede, I have to say, your Eye-Bo system is awesome. I managed to last nearly the whole half hour the constant theta was playing for, and I found it far easier to visualise her body, including how she looked, which I have had trouble with. I seem to be able to click more with the touch sense of visualisation.

I won't say it was perfect, because I was definately still having some issues, but it definately had a marked effect compared to this morning.
I went through the typical system I am going through, using touch to define each part of her body, though this time, I was able to say what each section looked like, which I wasn't having much luck with beforehand. We infused more of the Curiosity Balm into her and then tried something new.

Since I have had trouble visualising sight, I haven't tried engaging in puppeting. Today though, I felt that with what I was being able to see, it wouldn't to try some light movements. We didn't work on anything too complicated, just arm movement, but it seemed to work really well. One thing I realised from researching her movements was that while the Palmon form seems to look different from humans, she does have alot of the same traits. She has the same kind of joints in her shoulders and elbows as humans, and while she only has what are basically 3 extendable vine claws on each hand, it generally seems to work almost the same, though her forearm/palm section allows her to hold stuff from either side while locking the claws together to stop slipping.

So basically what I did while visualising was move my own arms in the way I was trying to get her to puppet then used that feeling to trigger the same movement in her body. In order on first the left arm then the right arm, we managed to puppet raising the arm up and down while outstretched, swiveling the arm through the shoulder joint, bending at the elbow, and finally moving her claws. The claws I felt were pretty much equivalent to the middle three fingers on a human hand, so I used that as the base for that motion. Finally was the aim of getting her body to do that grasping motion I was talking about earlier, and it seemed to work.

After this though my head was starting to feel a bit heavy, so stopped at that point, but will definately be using the constant delta again Fede. Will try to talk to Palmon again tonight before bed.

By the way, sometimes when I say Palmon's name, I get a slightly weird feeling. Any ideas what it could be? Like, could it be that she is trying to deviate from that name? Though I don't feel anything like this when I'm visualising her form.

Sands:
Well, is this weird feeling more positive or negative, or is it hard to say? At this point it could be anything if it even is related, but you could talk about it to the tupper and see if you get more. It could just be them "replying" to you in a way they can, but it doesn't have an intended message behind it.

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