nigger

Nope, definitely never gets boring around here.




Meditation is hard lately, I fall back to monologues to myself which no one wants to hear. Especially not tupper. I do try to keep up the physical exercise thing which definitely helps. And touching lots of surfaces and paying attention to details I normally take for granted. Reducing online time wasn't really successful so far plus I need to do lots of boring literature reseach stuff for university now. Too bad that can't be outsourced to tupper because completely uninterested. At least she's useful to prevent me from procrastinating.

Above all you need to force moar.
Puppetting is good especially if you're an introvert. Don't want Cat to turn into an loser like you right?

The brain will create the easiest thing available from a known template aka 'you' if you don't feed it enough input. Tell Cat how she's supposed to be and narrate lots of examples. Also go on wonderland adventures, no matter how bad visualization is!

Walking stuff is hard, no doubt. Also you just started, what do you expect? Take small steps, begin with yourself. Visuzalize walking around, focus on your feet. It helped me to walk with closed eyes while trying to 'see' what my legs are doing. If that works add more. Now do that for a few months and report back...

It took me over a year to get the basics of dancing and it still sucks outside of a few figures I practiced thousands of times. Oh yeah, none of this means things can't be fun. Make a story for everything, utilize music, just do something together, no matter how little it may seem at the beginning. For starters have Cat rate your blind walking. And don't trip over cat, happened to me countless times.

Ok, I'm not gonna lie we've got some at least semi-serious problems for quite a while now and I don't really know how to deal with them.



As previously reported, while trying to dissociate and let tupper take over I have accidentially created a servitor which has progressed to run most everyday tasks including simple conversations instead of 'me'. Basically 'I' have become little more than 2nd tupper, watching things from the back and interfering now and then. But normally almost everything runs on autopilot. I feel nothing typing this, just formulating the words, the rest works without any of my conscious doing.

Now I've always been an airhead and dreamer who easily got lost in thoughts and this state has some neat benefits as it frees enormous mental resources to think about stuff while the body does some other work, plus pain sensation has decreased enormously, however I'm also experiencing some highly concerning drawbacks. And as enjoyable as the recent Corona-chan induced 'lockdown' was I basically spent the last months lazing in the garden without any phsyical challenges and waay too much time online which didn't actually improve things.

Watching your life like some TV documentary isn't really fun plus I feel more and more dissociated from my body and any sensations. Others may work hard to reach this stage, neither I nor Alice really want it now. Tupper has no real interest in switching at the moment and has suggested ordered we both focus forcing on me now. Yes of course you can no only force tuppers but also yourself to get a better grip on any sensory input or awareness.
In order to do that we'll use a mix of meditation and mindfulness exercises as well as ordinary forcing techniques for tuppers to get used to the body with all senses. Also physical and fine-motor exercises to put some positive stress on body and muscle memory. Let's see how this works out, at least I hope it does.

It's a DREAM son!
If it made any sense and we could influence what's going on aka become lucid, things would have turned out a bit different.
Anyway I noticed the brain is especially lazy while dreaming and usually takes the routine you're most used to. This works hilariously with tupper's indestructibility when bodily present but alas, that's rare because we're not active forcing enough especially not in wonderland.

Also listen here, n00b!



I'm not some redneck murrican who carries his shotgun no matter where he goes. Our guns are in a safe and the dream-house wasn't really mine.
Plus Alice remarks gunfights IRL work a bit different than in action movies. Unless you have to protect others, getting the fuck out of potentially dangerous situations before shit gets real is always the most reasonable option. Called situation awareness. Shooting someone isn't fun and getting shot at even less. Never wanna experience either.

TL;DR
That dream stuff does have great potential for tuppering but not with no-nonsense tupper who's completely focuses on keeping real life peaceful, pleasant and free of subhumans causing us trouble.

Well if you did you probably wouldn't be here.



Probably triggered by watching too much US chimpout news I had a strange dream of someone entering 'our' house with a gun. Well actually like most dreams it was more like watching a movie not directly involving me and the house wasn't really ours either. The guy was with some other people and it didn't really concern me. Anyway tupper suggested we exit through the window before the armed guy reaches the room we're in, better safe than sorry. Tupper was realistic bodyless tupper in my mind so simply maiming anyone even potentially annoying was not an option. Gotta hate those 'realistic' dreams. Anyway we climbed out of the window which was sort of like in our home so easy to get out and walked around in the - equally realistic - neighborhood. It started raining but this was kind of fun and I was running through the rain, praising Alice for the idea of making an exit. It had been kinda creepy. Reaching the next street a blue van sharply pulled over and an elderly woman exited and started talking to me. She was a friend of my mom from work and visibly distressed, crying why my mom didn't want to be in a relationship with her. Dude, what the actual fuck?

Tupper was like 'juust keep walking and ignore her' and somehow we managed to get out of this awkward situation before waking up. Should have stayed home, getting shot would probably have been less troublesome.