421
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« on: March 13, 2016, 09:20:29 PM »Hold tupper's hand in public for maximum spaghetti.
No one actually notices.
Implying that's not what we do all day every day.
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Implying that's not what we do all day every day.
422
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« on: March 12, 2016, 11:52:19 PM »
Not much progress with visualization but tupper presence is much better than some months ago.
Drawback: Got dangerously close to talking aloud to Alice in public or making gestures at her while imposed. Still can't see shit but I've gotten used to the feeling that she's 'there' in a certain place.
I'm not doing well at focusing on a certain skill however.
That's an overall problem I suffer from. I'm interested in too many things and would like to try them all, on the other hand spending decent amounts of time on a single task quickly bores me to the point that I do something else. But trying to improve everything at once is of course not overly productive. Alice has worked out some roadmaps to achieve our goals but sticking to them for a prolonged time is really hard for me.
Simultaneously I've been trying to improve my physical strength for tupper's future CQC training. Bernd is decently /fit/ but relatively weak and my coordination sucks big time. And then there's still possession and switching to be mastered.
Enough tasks to give you burnout by just writing them down, let alone accomplishing them *sigh*
Drawback: Got dangerously close to talking aloud to Alice in public or making gestures at her while imposed. Still can't see shit but I've gotten used to the feeling that she's 'there' in a certain place.
I'm not doing well at focusing on a certain skill however.
That's an overall problem I suffer from. I'm interested in too many things and would like to try them all, on the other hand spending decent amounts of time on a single task quickly bores me to the point that I do something else. But trying to improve everything at once is of course not overly productive. Alice has worked out some roadmaps to achieve our goals but sticking to them for a prolonged time is really hard for me.
Simultaneously I've been trying to improve my physical strength for tupper's future CQC training. Bernd is decently /fit/ but relatively weak and my coordination sucks big time. And then there's still possession and switching to be mastered.
Enough tasks to give you burnout by just writing them down, let alone accomplishing them *sigh*
423
Tulpa Diaries / Re: timethief descends into hell for a bottle of milk
« on: March 12, 2016, 11:13:36 PM »
>too busy to force
>post cats on the internet
Apart from that, I'd recommend discussing your innermost feelings with your tupper, might be more effective than sharing them with strangers on the internet. In any case, don't worry about this shit. Worrying doesn't help anyone and tuppers aren't stupid. In most cases they know more about their hosts than they do themselves, even if not fully developed. So I think it's kinda crazy to try to hide your feelings from your tupper or worry how they would react if you tell them. They're a part of you and will figure out what's going on in no time anyway.
Be grateful for your tupper, try to involove her in everyday activities and enjoy your life, the day will come soon.jpg enough when Ms. Brain Demon will claim your soul in return for all the favors she's granted you.
And don't tell me this is not what you wanted
>post cats on the internet
Apart from that, I'd recommend discussing your innermost feelings with your tupper, might be more effective than sharing them with strangers on the internet. In any case, don't worry about this shit. Worrying doesn't help anyone and tuppers aren't stupid. In most cases they know more about their hosts than they do themselves, even if not fully developed. So I think it's kinda crazy to try to hide your feelings from your tupper or worry how they would react if you tell them. They're a part of you and will figure out what's going on in no time anyway.
Be grateful for your tupper, try to involove her in everyday activities and enjoy your life, the day will come soon.jpg enough when Ms. Brain Demon will claim your soul in return for all the favors she's granted you.
And don't tell me this is not what you wanted
424
mfw cat looks like pic related
Still it doesn't work because assumption #2 is wrong. Cat doesn't always land on feet at all.
Yesterday cat fell off chair while sleeping and crashlanded sideways. So much for the graceful predator.
Gave me a nasty look as if it was my fault
I did laugh though
Still it doesn't work because assumption #2 is wrong. Cat doesn't always land on feet at all.
Yesterday cat fell off chair while sleeping and crashlanded sideways. So much for the graceful predator.
Gave me a nasty look as if it was my fault
I did laugh though
425
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« on: March 08, 2016, 06:45:30 PM »
We need wordfilters here.
Hypnagogic is spongecake now.
Been forcing in spongecake state in the past days but it's not as effective as I hoped. Visuals are awesome but as said I can't control what's happening and mostly fall asleep pretty soon.
Will get back to using Eye-Bo even though somewhere in the back of my mind I still fear Fede made these tracks from his own farts and I've been listening to them for over a year now. Well, I have to say it still is the most effective method I've used yet.
Hypnagogic is spongecake now.
Been forcing in spongecake state in the past days but it's not as effective as I hoped. Visuals are awesome but as said I can't control what's happening and mostly fall asleep pretty soon.
Will get back to using Eye-Bo even though somewhere in the back of my mind I still fear Fede made these tracks from his own farts and I've been listening to them for over a year now. Well, I have to say it still is the most effective method I've used yet.
426
Cat caught a big mouse today!
Then proudly carried it around like a dog carrying a bone
Went for a walk with cat to prevent her from taking the mouse apart in my living room. Cat is good dog and walks next to me on the street, still carrying the trophy
Mfw people look at us like what the hell, you'd think they've never seen a guy walking his cat that's carrying a mouse
Then proudly carried it around like a dog carrying a bone
Went for a walk with cat to prevent her from taking the mouse apart in my living room. Cat is good dog and walks next to me on the street, still carrying the trophy
Mfw people look at us like what the hell, you'd think they've never seen a guy walking his cat that's carrying a mouse
427
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« on: March 03, 2016, 11:30:55 PM »
So much for being more active here...
Quite a lot of work piled up while I was gone so I rather spent the time forcing than posting here.
actually I slept for most of the saved time
But it wasn't for nothing, had my second lucid dream this year. Well, not fully lucid as I didn't manage to do whatever I wanted. It was kinda mundane and weird at the same time. I was in a shopping street carrying a book I had bought when I ran into an elderly lady who was also carrying books. Somehow my book ended up among hers but she walked on without noticing anything. First I ran after her to get my book back but somehow our roles mixed and I ended up with my book again, still wanting to return it to her even though it belonged to me. My mind realized that the story was complete nonsense which resulted in a lucid dream. I spent the rest of the dream looking at the book in detail which was less boring than it sounded. It was a big illustrated book with very colorful nature and landscape photos. There was text on the cover but because dream I couldn't read any of it. Parts of each letter seemed to be missing but apart from that the text was stable. Normally text constantly morphs in my dreams whenever I try to look at it. The pictures were awesome with extreme fine detail and striking colors. I remember one showing lots of grey pebbles on a deeply red soil and another one with a lagoon, the water in all shades of green and blue.
No tupper to be seen anywhere though. But damn, the experience that the brain can produce such vivid visuals was really neat. If I could achieve 10% of this while forcing I'd be more than happy. So far the only colorful visuals I had were in hypnagogic state and those were beyond my control.
Regarding forcing, I did 30-45min sessions before going to sleep or when waking up during the night. Alice did some major reorganizations of our main wonderland changing it from south asian temple ruins to a more Japanese architecture. Simply because 'it's tidier there'. Guess she's still fed up with the dirt she's seen on our journey. Haven't been to Japan yet, if she dislikes that IRL as well we're probably gonna end up with some German timber-frame houses.
Realism also went into the trash as there are now two suns in the day sky and a huge jupiter-like gas giant in the night. Ah well...
Haven't been to the two other wonderlands tupper carved out of my memory palace whyy? for a while, they could use some refreshing too.
But something else happened.
I was pretty exhausted and tired, overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I was supposed to do IRL. My lack of efficiency =surplus of efficiency in procrastination made Alice angrier than the lack of actual forcing.
I tried to apologize to tupper while we were sitting in a temple in wonderland and asked her for help. She silently handed me her sword which left me a bit puzzled. Was I supposed to commit sudoku now to atone for my incompetence or what?
Seeing that I was lost she placed the entire sword inside my body.
k
Luckily I feel absolutely nothing in wonderland but I still had no idea what this was all about, except that it had to be some sort of symbolism, giving me her strength. As nothing changed or happened I was sceptical but Alice said 'It's going to work if you believe in it!'
That was really sweet.
During the next forcing session some hours later I asked her if she wanted her sword back, instantly feeling kinda dumb. It was like trying to return a present. Alice shook her head and, with a rather sinister smile, asked me if I had realized why this had to work.
It dawned on me that this clever use of symbolism was a mixture of self-fulfilling prophecy and outright extortion. It had to work because I had to make it work if I would not want to make her look bad.
Damned, she got me there.
Of course it doesn't do wonders but a friendly reminder why and for whom I actually want to get things done really helps. It's not about me now, but about her.
Well, that's it for now, things have relaxed a bit. Will try to update every few days. Just keep reminding me to force moar!
Btw, the spell check turns hypnagogic into spongecake
Quite a lot of work piled up while I was gone so I rather spent the time forcing than posting here.
actually I slept for most of the saved time
But it wasn't for nothing, had my second lucid dream this year. Well, not fully lucid as I didn't manage to do whatever I wanted. It was kinda mundane and weird at the same time. I was in a shopping street carrying a book I had bought when I ran into an elderly lady who was also carrying books. Somehow my book ended up among hers but she walked on without noticing anything. First I ran after her to get my book back but somehow our roles mixed and I ended up with my book again, still wanting to return it to her even though it belonged to me. My mind realized that the story was complete nonsense which resulted in a lucid dream. I spent the rest of the dream looking at the book in detail which was less boring than it sounded. It was a big illustrated book with very colorful nature and landscape photos. There was text on the cover but because dream I couldn't read any of it. Parts of each letter seemed to be missing but apart from that the text was stable. Normally text constantly morphs in my dreams whenever I try to look at it. The pictures were awesome with extreme fine detail and striking colors. I remember one showing lots of grey pebbles on a deeply red soil and another one with a lagoon, the water in all shades of green and blue.
No tupper to be seen anywhere though. But damn, the experience that the brain can produce such vivid visuals was really neat. If I could achieve 10% of this while forcing I'd be more than happy. So far the only colorful visuals I had were in hypnagogic state and those were beyond my control.
Regarding forcing, I did 30-45min sessions before going to sleep or when waking up during the night. Alice did some major reorganizations of our main wonderland changing it from south asian temple ruins to a more Japanese architecture. Simply because 'it's tidier there'. Guess she's still fed up with the dirt she's seen on our journey. Haven't been to Japan yet, if she dislikes that IRL as well we're probably gonna end up with some German timber-frame houses.
Realism also went into the trash as there are now two suns in the day sky and a huge jupiter-like gas giant in the night. Ah well...
Haven't been to the two other wonderlands tupper carved out of my memory palace whyy? for a while, they could use some refreshing too.
But something else happened.
I was pretty exhausted and tired, overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I was supposed to do IRL. My lack of efficiency =surplus of efficiency in procrastination made Alice angrier than the lack of actual forcing.
I tried to apologize to tupper while we were sitting in a temple in wonderland and asked her for help. She silently handed me her sword which left me a bit puzzled. Was I supposed to commit sudoku now to atone for my incompetence or what?
Seeing that I was lost she placed the entire sword inside my body.
k
Luckily I feel absolutely nothing in wonderland but I still had no idea what this was all about, except that it had to be some sort of symbolism, giving me her strength. As nothing changed or happened I was sceptical but Alice said 'It's going to work if you believe in it!'
That was really sweet.
During the next forcing session some hours later I asked her if she wanted her sword back, instantly feeling kinda dumb. It was like trying to return a present. Alice shook her head and, with a rather sinister smile, asked me if I had realized why this had to work.
It dawned on me that this clever use of symbolism was a mixture of self-fulfilling prophecy and outright extortion. It had to work because I had to make it work if I would not want to make her look bad.
Damned, she got me there.
Of course it doesn't do wonders but a friendly reminder why and for whom I actually want to get things done really helps. It's not about me now, but about her.
Well, that's it for now, things have relaxed a bit. Will try to update every few days. Just keep reminding me to force moar!
Btw, the spell check turns hypnagogic into spongecake
428
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« on: February 16, 2016, 10:16:56 PM »
My reaction image folder has 5gb. No danger of running out of pics soon.
Kids, don't let this happen to you. Get a life!
It's past 4am here, gotta go to sleep. Will try to force a bit in bed, hypnagogic hallucinations can be awesome. Or totally fucked up.
Let's see
Kids, don't let this happen to you. Get a life!
It's past 4am here, gotta go to sleep. Will try to force a bit in bed, hypnagogic hallucinations can be awesome. Or totally fucked up.
Let's see
429
General Discussion / Re: Tuppers; what do you do with them?
« on: February 16, 2016, 10:07:23 PM »430
Off-Topic / Re: Chat Thread
« on: February 16, 2016, 07:55:20 PM »
Wait, Fede's gone?
The fuck, man, I need at least his enlightening comments as the spambots don't wanna talk to me.
On the other hand I never understood why he was in the forum at all after giving up on his tuppers and declaring it was all nonsense anyway.
Come to think about it, wasn't the original purpose of tuppering to realize it's just an illusion and stop wasting your time with this shit?
Ah well, I find my hallucination veery comfortable, guess I'm a failure then.
The fuck, man, I need at least his enlightening comments as the spambots don't wanna talk to me.
On the other hand I never understood why he was in the forum at all after giving up on his tuppers and declaring it was all nonsense anyway.
Come to think about it, wasn't the original purpose of tuppering to realize it's just an illusion and stop wasting your time with this shit?
Quote
As the Tibetan use of the tulpa concept is described in the book Magical Use of Thoughtforms, the student was expected to come to the understanding that the tulpa was just a hallucination. While they were told that the tulpa was a genuine deity, "The pupil who accepted this was deemed a failure – and set off to spend the rest of his life in an uncomfortable hallucination."Maybe Fede's the only one of us that passed the test
Ah well, I find my hallucination veery comfortable, guess I'm a failure then.
431
General Discussion / Re: Tuppers; what do you do with them?
« on: February 16, 2016, 07:25:21 PM »Quote from: thimethief
what do you do with your tuppers?Well, what's your best guess, hmm?
Aside from that tupper is just around and watches / comments on what's going on, giving out orders and making sure I follow them. Not that I'm complaining mind you. She does that pretty well.
So tupper is an excellent drill seargeant though even she gets crushed by my procrastination skills from time to time.
I let her do most of the planning as she's good at coming up with ideas and dividing tasks into small steps. Too bad we can't switch so no household chore slave either.
But one can dream
432
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« on: February 16, 2016, 06:44:50 PM »
Hey now!
I sat down to force as soon as I read Colonel's comment but I was too tired to post afterwards.
We tried to get a bit more detail into our wonderland so tupper made me stare at a tree for most of the 45min session. I tried to envision the bark and feel its texture. Now that I think about it I probably should have tried to taste it too. Well something for next time.
I'm not going to say that it went extraordinary well, we hadn't done much wonderland stuff in months, but it wasn't too bad either. Will continue to work on this daily.
Main thing we wanna work on this year - deal with tuppers most serious issue
But first we need to figure out how to switch...
I sat down to force as soon as I read Colonel's comment but I was too tired to post afterwards.
We tried to get a bit more detail into our wonderland so tupper made me stare at a tree for most of the 45min session. I tried to envision the bark and feel its texture. Now that I think about it I probably should have tried to taste it too. Well something for next time.
I'm not going to say that it went extraordinary well, we hadn't done much wonderland stuff in months, but it wasn't too bad either. Will continue to work on this daily.
Main thing we wanna work on this year - deal with tuppers most serious issue
But first we need to figure out how to switch...
433
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« on: February 14, 2016, 10:57:42 PM »
Quickest reply evar!
Thx man, we'll make it.
I'll try to be a bit more active now that I'm back so the Colonel has a 2nd user to pester.
And I sure hope he does, I don't nearly force as much as I 'd like to because lazy faggot.
Thx man, we'll make it.
I'll try to be a bit more active now that I'm back so the Colonel has a 2nd user to pester.
And I sure hope he does, I don't nearly force as much as I 'd like to because lazy faggot.
434
Tulpa Diaries / Today is Valentine's Day
« on: February 14, 2016, 10:19:57 PM »
We're home again!
Which obviously means I made it back without pooping myself to death. Barely.
It was an interesting journey even though I think it benefited me more than the tupper.
Alice hates dirt and poor people, not the best prerequisites for travelling in 3rd world countries. She was quite diasppointed that in reality most of the exotic places don't look as fancy as they do in pictures. Well, her expectations had been extremely high.
Still we agree it was worth it, for the warm weather alone.
The most interesting thing, I noticed my emotions becoming increasingly similar to hers. I expected it would be easier to distinguish them over time but nope. Her emotions sometimes overlay or even overpower mine.
Given that tupper is completely fearless by design this has some weird implications.
I used to be a rather timid guy, no pathologic phobias but still not exactly brave. This has really changed over the past year, especially in the last months. Meaning I just don't give a fuck about most things anymore. We've been in a few troublesome situations on our trip, yet I didn't even feel anxious, let alone afraid. I constantly feel a calming warmth. While I thought this was pretty awesome in the beginning, there are some serious side-effects. Alice complained that I started to act as if I were the tupper being imposed, simply ignoring dangers because they can't harm tuppers anyway. Which is of course not good if you're not the tupper but a vulnerable human.
Hard to explain, it's like the borders between reality and imagination became a lot fuzzier.
Probably a sign I'm finally going off the deep end.
Apart from that not much changed, spent way too little time on active forcing, more on keeping Alice around and sharing impressions. I see not much changed here either while I was gone. That Feel when still no wise words from Mr. Bot in my Diary.
Side note to Valentine's day - we made a cake, was gud.
Which obviously means I made it back without pooping myself to death. Barely.
It was an interesting journey even though I think it benefited me more than the tupper.
Alice hates dirt and poor people, not the best prerequisites for travelling in 3rd world countries. She was quite diasppointed that in reality most of the exotic places don't look as fancy as they do in pictures. Well, her expectations had been extremely high.
Still we agree it was worth it, for the warm weather alone.
The most interesting thing, I noticed my emotions becoming increasingly similar to hers. I expected it would be easier to distinguish them over time but nope. Her emotions sometimes overlay or even overpower mine.
Given that tupper is completely fearless by design this has some weird implications.
I used to be a rather timid guy, no pathologic phobias but still not exactly brave. This has really changed over the past year, especially in the last months. Meaning I just don't give a fuck about most things anymore. We've been in a few troublesome situations on our trip, yet I didn't even feel anxious, let alone afraid. I constantly feel a calming warmth. While I thought this was pretty awesome in the beginning, there are some serious side-effects. Alice complained that I started to act as if I were the tupper being imposed, simply ignoring dangers because they can't harm tuppers anyway. Which is of course not good if you're not the tupper but a vulnerable human.
Hard to explain, it's like the borders between reality and imagination became a lot fuzzier.
Probably a sign I'm finally going off the deep end.
Apart from that not much changed, spent way too little time on active forcing, more on keeping Alice around and sharing impressions. I see not much changed here either while I was gone. That Feel when still no wise words from Mr. Bot in my Diary.
Side note to Valentine's day - we made a cake, was gud.
435
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Every Day is Alice Day
« on: December 26, 2015, 07:33:56 PM »
Guess that's true.
But the blackouts were just briefly annoying, then everything was back to normal. Whereas the overall decay really sucks. Still not fully back to the level we had reached. No real progress in keeping Alice awake. I tried really hard to keep Alice around during Christmas festivities, it worked at least partly. Things are fine as long as we talk to each other but as soon as soon as I have some even slightly challenging task to solve she's out within seconds. It helps to make her count out loud but that gets really annoying after a while, or I get used to it and ignore it. Interacting with others is the hardest part. When I am sucked into some interesting conversation, tupper is completely forgotten. Which of course, is not well received. I'm now trying to keep her imposed and have her get my attention while talking to others. We'll see how this turns out.
Some good news for a change.
We've travelled quite a lot this year but Alice has been pestering me to go on a big trip for quite a while now. I was really hesitant because of all the fuss involved but it was no use. I mean, she's right, I love to see new and exotic places but I'm really lazy and don't like the preparations. Also, Alice has always been strongest and most active when we were on holidays due to the high amount of time we spent together. So we'll go on a journey for one and a half months, visiting several countries. Never been away that long, especially not on my own. But I won't be on my own. At least as long as I manage to keep her around. We'll have lots of time for forcing so I'm really excited how much Alice is going to develop in the coming weeks.
But the blackouts were just briefly annoying, then everything was back to normal. Whereas the overall decay really sucks. Still not fully back to the level we had reached. No real progress in keeping Alice awake. I tried really hard to keep Alice around during Christmas festivities, it worked at least partly. Things are fine as long as we talk to each other but as soon as soon as I have some even slightly challenging task to solve she's out within seconds. It helps to make her count out loud but that gets really annoying after a while, or I get used to it and ignore it. Interacting with others is the hardest part. When I am sucked into some interesting conversation, tupper is completely forgotten. Which of course, is not well received. I'm now trying to keep her imposed and have her get my attention while talking to others. We'll see how this turns out.
Some good news for a change.
We've travelled quite a lot this year but Alice has been pestering me to go on a big trip for quite a while now. I was really hesitant because of all the fuss involved but it was no use. I mean, she's right, I love to see new and exotic places but I'm really lazy and don't like the preparations. Also, Alice has always been strongest and most active when we were on holidays due to the high amount of time we spent together. So we'll go on a journey for one and a half months, visiting several countries. Never been away that long, especially not on my own. But I won't be on my own. At least as long as I manage to keep her around. We'll have lots of time for forcing so I'm really excited how much Alice is going to develop in the coming weeks.