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Tulpa Diaries / Re: timethief descends into hell for a bottle of milk
« on: May 30, 2016, 08:45:15 AM »
Day 160 1/2
Total forging time: 1 hour 49 minutes
Well, after previous long sessions this one seems really short in my opinion...
But, I managed to hear a "test" version of her mindvoice. It lasted about 4 seconds and quickly started to shutter 'til it sounded very similar to mine, but I definitely got to hear her. More or less clearly, finally.
I started with meditation. Super laser focus today, wow. I got pretty deep into it. In fact, for a bit I forgot about my body. Probably the most focused session so far. I then tried to listen to her mindvoice... but everything sounded like me. I was pretty disappointed. All that focus and yet being unable to hear her... but then somewhere in the middle of that I was able to hear her clearly, as I mentioned, for about 4 seconds. She said something about "thank you for being so diligent with forcing" or something. But her speech quickly started to shutter and then reverted to our current way of communication, in which I merely interpret her thoughts or something.
I try to put that disappointment to good use, and rather than saying "screw this, lets play Minecraft and forget about tulpas" I'm gonna force more.
The Sun started to rise (in the real world) and I started to lose focus. Then the birds started singing and well, there goes all focus.
I took a small break, and fired up the self-hypnosis script for vocality.
Surprisingly, it seemed to work a lot better than other times. I almost got to hear her again, and whoa she's like, real thankful about all this forcing apparently. I even got some reasonably strong emotion waves, even now.
It might not have been a super extra long session like the last two days, but it was the most intense so far.
Total forging time: 1 hour 49 minutes
Well, after previous long sessions this one seems really short in my opinion...
But, I managed to hear a "test" version of her mindvoice. It lasted about 4 seconds and quickly started to shutter 'til it sounded very similar to mine, but I definitely got to hear her. More or less clearly, finally.
I started with meditation. Super laser focus today, wow. I got pretty deep into it. In fact, for a bit I forgot about my body. Probably the most focused session so far. I then tried to listen to her mindvoice... but everything sounded like me. I was pretty disappointed. All that focus and yet being unable to hear her... but then somewhere in the middle of that I was able to hear her clearly, as I mentioned, for about 4 seconds. She said something about "thank you for being so diligent with forcing" or something. But her speech quickly started to shutter and then reverted to our current way of communication, in which I merely interpret her thoughts or something.
I try to put that disappointment to good use, and rather than saying "screw this, lets play Minecraft and forget about tulpas" I'm gonna force more.
The Sun started to rise (in the real world) and I started to lose focus. Then the birds started singing and well, there goes all focus.
I took a small break, and fired up the self-hypnosis script for vocality.
Surprisingly, it seemed to work a lot better than other times. I almost got to hear her again, and whoa she's like, real thankful about all this forcing apparently. I even got some reasonably strong emotion waves, even now.
It might not have been a super extra long session like the last two days, but it was the most intense so far.