Day 64
Still here and alive, if anyone was wondering. Daily interaction via narration continues.
I haven't active forced though... was busy sorting out issues with aniracetam dosage. Seems like 2000 mg do the trick though. If I am able to wake up early tomorrow I'll shall be using the self-hypnosis script for vivid wonderland stuff. We'll see.

Remember to eat cake and play dress-up.

Need to finish the wonderland house for that. I only have a very large room at the top (which is where we spent most of the time before creating a small bar-like area in the floor below). No kitchen, or living room yet... Unless I just imagined the cake into existence but well, doesn't seem nearly as fun as baking it and all of that. Don't expect many details either, visuals are still fuzzy at best (aka almost never).

Day 67
40 minute self-hypnosis session with the vocality script thing. Gotta get my sleep schedule into order again (I had some work to do these days and I let it get like it was before; going to bed at 1 AM and waking up at 9:30 AM, not good).
At least I didn't doze off with the 15-minute meditation warm up thing (and I did my best to re-focus my thoughts to my breath when they started to wander; if I only practiced this daily I would be a pro by now...).
Narration continues, although I do get distracted especially when around a lot of people.

Eat your favorite food and compare its imaginary taste to other things wow.

Day 80
It's been quite some time I guess since the last update... have been very busy.

[warning: le blog post ahead. since i don't have anywhere else to put this stuff i'm putting it here]



Haven't forced except for a short 24-minute session two days ago.

It's bothering me a lot that I don't get much tulpa forcing pressures if at all, nor I get "alien" feelings either.

I'll just answer this because I can, yeah that's normal honestly don't worry about that. I think of the, I dunno, 50% of people who get those ever? most would have them die off soon enough as they continued.

And I'm scared as heck that I would do that to my tulpa. And that I'm merely using her as a tool to improve myself. And what have I done in return? I haven't even finished designing the wonderland! And I don't have time for it (seriously, I can't even go to the IRC anymore because >too busy)! What good is a tulpa host if he merely uses his tulpa as a tool, only to not do anything in return? What good there is in a host if he doesn't actively try to help their tulpa go further? If he leaves his tulpa in a half-baked state, with struggling independence, no mindvoice and zero visualization skills?

There's time for everything, and by that I mean that you can help her at any point in your life. Just be glad that things are working for you, for now. When you get your stuff sorted, you can pay her back. Whether or not you could be doing more now is something I can't really tell, I guess. Even if it's 10 minutes active a day that's probably better than nothing. But still, I don't think you need to worry quite as much as you are.