March 23, 2014

Shockks Exercise Results, Day 2/108
32, 22, 3, 22, 6

Today we did the visualization forcing meditation later in the evening after I was already feeling tired. Over all the session was a good one, other than my low scores.

March 7 - 22, 2014

I continued with my meditations daily until the 21st, when I forgot to do it. I did think about doing the focus exercises and my day was completely filled with other projects and a long conversation with my mastermind group, and I went to sleep without verifying if I had finished all my important things for the day. I could have been successful if I would have done it sooner in the day. Instead I got distracted by helping others, and then working on my other projects.

So even though I did not complete my goal of 108 straight days of focusing exercises. I did get to 95 days. This is an improvement and my personal best. I am committing to another 108 days straight of focus exercises, starting today.

I did talk with my tulpa about this and then thought about why I did not keep my agreement to myself. I realize that my schedule is full of many things, and that unlike in the past when I was spending a lot of time with entertainment, I am almost completely focused and making excellent progress on all my major goals. So this is a problem of filling my schedule and not keeping myself reminded of what I have yet to do. I feel excited to continue.

I have found that when I take some time to focus with meditation and or deep breathing, my visualizations are clearer.

I will be changing from a mantra style meditation to more of a visual/conversational focus exercise similar to what I did when I first started. On another note I added some tulpa affirmations to my subliminal programming software so when I'm on the computer I'll be able to support my tulpa progress while doing other things.

February 21 - March 6, 2014

I have continued my daily meditations and focus session with my tulpa Seph. Things are progressing steadily. No new developments to report at this time.

February 4 - 20, 2014

I have continued the daily meditation and visualization exercises with Seph. Today I did the mantras out loud. This seemed to diminish my focus and clarity of the visualization. I'm still doing this about ~20 minutes or so, usually soon after waking up and before breakfast.

As I continue I feel Seph's presence more and more strongly. At various times now on some days I sense that she is nearby and I feel a sense of elation in the midst of doing other things.

January 29 - February 3, 2014

I have been continuing with my daily meditations and mantra repetition. Seph is speaking very little yet I feel a continually stronger and stronger emotional response in myself towards her. I feel like we are meditating together, not just me forcing her. I experience my body and attention responding as if she is really there in the room with me during the focus sessions. Off and on I open my eyes and work on visual imposition. Sometimes I work on tactile feeling imposition, like if we touch our hands together or sometimes she reaches out and touches my face or shoulder or something. The meditations seem to be a haphazard alternation between wonderland and physical reality, like we're in both places at once. This is fine for me. It reminds me of a dream I had where I was flying and opened one eye, seeing my bedroom, and with the other, seeing the dream landscape floating beneath me, able to switch between yet both happening at the same time, switching to one or the other blocking out the alternate from awareness.

I feel very good having forced for 41 consecutive days. When I first started I went for hours at a time. Now I do about 20+ minutes everyday. I feel like I am making slow and steady progress. I'd like to add more time, or expand to passive forcing throughout the day. I feel blocked from doing that speaking out loud since I'm usually around other people most of the day. When I start doing more active or passive forcing, I will be making note of it here in my log. Thanks for reading.

January 8 - 10, 2014

I have continued my mantra meditation and Seph revealed herself again as a stable form. So I have continued with the visualizations during this focus time. Near the end of the session Seph seemed to appear amused as if she was waiting for something. At that point I reached out my hands in front of me palms facing her, and she did the same. I felt a strong sense of warmth and tingling that flowed from my hands at that point and spread throughout my body. This seems to be different than just mental or emotional shifts. I thought it was different enough that I should report the occurrence.

December 30 - 31, 2013

Continued with mantra meditation coupled with visualization, alternating open and closed eyes. I have had a wide range of visualization clarity from very faint to very clear with lots of details. The trend seems to be increasing detail on average over time, but there is still some variation. I feel good about the consistent practice.

I want to work on passive forcing narration more.

Happy New Year, for all you Tulpas, Tulpamancers, and Guests out there :)