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Messages - Daecher

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46
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Daecher (and friends)'s Growth Log
« on: February 19, 2015, 10:43:13 AM »
It's been a month since I last updated- things have happened, and things haven't happened.

- Since the start of the month, I've been able to get more sleep every day, and have heard/felt Luna and Haya within a minute of waking nearly every day for the last two, maybe three weeks.

- Even while I'm in class or distracted in even the most heated conversation, I'm able to "feel" where they are without much effort at all (if any).

- I've picked up a few new games (a couple puzzle games and an RPG) in addition to Blocks and Boring Oceans for them to play while we work on switching.

- I haven't had to work on visualization lately, as it has become natural to visualize them during any time of the day, to the point where I visualize their different poses, expressions, etc. during my free time without thinking

- While I still try to shake off feelings of doubt when I work on tactile imposition with them (massages, inspecting feet under Sands' guidance, etc.), Luna and Haya have no problems with hanging on me, leaning on me, and have even tried pushing and pulling on me at times. I don't doubt those sensations, they certainly feel real now.

- While volume changes are minimal at best, hearing Luna and Haya speak is becoming a wonderful and enjoyable experience. Even their occasional quips and sarcastic remarks when I'm distracted are nice (at first).


At this point, it just isn't work or experimentation anymore- it's comforting to have them around all the time (when they aren't shit-talking me in the bathroom- I'm looking at you, Sands); "Just Do It" might as well be painted on my wall and tattooed on the underside of my eyelids.

Also, Luna's "birthday" is in 23 days, I believe. It's hard to imagine that it's been a year already...

47
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Daecher (and friends)'s Growth Log
« on: January 19, 2015, 12:31:59 AM »
Sands- imposing in dark rooms is pretty spoopy. It helps, though.

Lately I've been adding finer details to Luna and Haya's forms: clothing details (seams, buttons, etc.), facial features, and so on. I think I'll resume working from the lowest detail to the highest, though (someone probably recommended this at some point). Visualizing them generally feels like lots of little pictures rather than one, whole picture, but I'd say I've made progress. That, and there are times where they lean on me while I work at my desk/computer. I just get this feeling, man. For a second, it feels good, feels strange, and the instant I notice it, it's gone.

I'm thoroughly convinced that things are going well. Guess I should use Belief Implanting/Eye-bo more and just lose my mind altogether.


48
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Daecher (and friends)'s Growth Log
« on: December 30, 2014, 09:46:47 PM »
That comes from my poor taste in games and lack of funds for others- it's no fault of their own.

49
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Daecher (and friends)'s Growth Log
« on: December 30, 2014, 03:10:06 PM »
Well, I'm adjusting little parts of my daily life to accommodate my "succubi," as Sands says it.

First, instead of jumping straight into gaming sessions like I normally do, I let Luna and Haya make decisions for me, if they aren't already playing during possession. Right now, they're only playing Minecraft (we're thinking of making a post in the Off-topic thread), but once I head back to university, I'll start introducing them to a wider range of games. They both share an interest in League of Legends and a couple shooters I have, but I'll need to work much harder towards switching before then; I'm making complete switching a goal to reach by the end of 2015.

Second, I've been making time for improving sensory imposition, particularly tactile imposition. Luna and Haya are consistently close, and their forms are detailed enough now that I can discern the feeling of their hair, their skin, and their clothes. They're surprisingly chill about me randomly asking to touch their face or run my fingers through their hair, and actually welcome it. I'm still having a hard time shaking off my intuition telling me that I'm not really feeling anything, though.

Finally, every once in a while, I'll spend some free time by having them sit in front of a blank, featureless wall and try to look at them instead of the wall. The best I've gotten so far is extremely transparent silhouettes that appear after about five solid minutes of not blinking. Interestingly enough, these silhouettes move just as I imagine Luna and Haya do, but the moment I try to move my eyes or blink, they're gone in an instant. I've seen these silhouettes rarely outside of practicing, but I'm happy that I can even see them at all.

Overall, a lot of progress has been made in the last month. I'm to the point where I can actually apply myself and find qualitative- though miniscule- results. What I'm working towards now is maintaining consistent practice techniques to progress further.

50
Off-Topic / Re: Let's Experience Morrowind (With Many Images)
« on: December 30, 2014, 02:25:13 PM »
I've never played the Elder Scrolls games, but I really like delivery quests. While I'm impartial to smashing furry rodents, smashing a bandit sounds fun. I also think the package should be delivered as soon as possible.

51
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Daecher (and friends)'s Growth Log
« on: November 16, 2014, 12:12:42 AM »
Not sure how to describe progress lately. I've been working towards feeling Luna and Haya (actual touch) as well as seeing them. I haven't consulted any guides in nearly a month, and my mindset is "I'll figure it out if I think hard enough." So far, it's been working, I'd say. Both of them have commented on how I'm more aware of their bodily presence at random times, and they even had the idea of changing clothes to fit the colder season to see if I'd notice (I noticed it that evening after classes).
At this point, I'm just throwing thoughts against a wall and seeing what sticks. I'll probably update again in another month or so- I'm just on some kind of roll and I want to stick to it until I break something.

52
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Daecher (and friends)'s Growth Log
« on: October 14, 2014, 01:50:08 AM »
You know, most of my updates have been either about something I'm unhappy about- even if I've been making progress- but lately, I've been pretty satisfied with how things are going. I'm getting by in my daily life (most of what I do is schoolwork, anyway), and Luna and Haya are pretty happy with how things have been coming along.

It's been forever since I've legitimately thought about advancing towards sensory hallucination, now that I think of it. Recently I've focused more towards improving simpler techniques and making them a part of my daily life. I wouldn't say I've lost the motivation to move on to more difficult things, just that I'm back where I was when I first came here, with a little more experience and a lot more confidence.

...

Well, shit. Now what?

53
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Daecher (and friends)'s Growth Log
« on: September 29, 2014, 12:34:29 PM »
You're right about the visualization and hallucination, yes. I hadn't considered having them do it with me, though, so I'll check into that. I'll have a look at your suggestions to the Yogi as well.

54
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Daecher (and friends)'s Growth Log
« on: September 29, 2014, 08:39:16 AM »
Sorry for the misunderstanding. I'm referring to your belief-implanting method described in your ultimate tupper guide.

55
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Daecher (and friends)'s Growth Log
« on: September 28, 2014, 09:54:50 PM »
The idea of playing "Lag: the Game" hasn't been too appealing, no.

56
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Daecher (and friends)'s Growth Log
« on: September 28, 2014, 12:08:33 PM »
It's been about three weeks now, and things are going really well. Started doing the "Fodde Method" (as I've seen it called elsewhere on the forum) about a week ago on top of visualizing, and I'm pretty happy with the results.  Trying to visualize my tulpas takes much less effort now. Their forms aren't anywhere near perfect, but I can consistently "see" the shape and colors I know I should be. I generally work from the lowest detail to the highest because doing the opposite usually ends up with me focusing on a ridiculous amount of detail for a really small area and giving myself headaches (though my memory of that area is retained later on). Luna and Haya are happier with it either way, though. Having two attentionwhores means more work, but they seem satisfied with what progress I've made.

I'm not always getting in a solid two hours in a single visualization session, but I spread that time- if not more- over about three separate sessions a day. Divide and conquer, I suppose.

57
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Daecher (and friends)'s Growth Log
« on: September 07, 2014, 11:16:09 PM »
Update time.

I've been making headway with visualization in the past week, but it's come to my attention that I just don't visualize often enough. Each time I go back to visualize either of my tulpas, it feels like I've completely forgotten what to see. With about a day or so in between sessions, the images don't stay in my memory.

Yeah, imagine that. All this time and I'm just now catching on.

My solution: I've got plenty of free time in my schedule, so I'm going to start using it productively. I'm going to fit in- at the very least- two hours each day working on visualization and get over this hump. I'll be sure to drop by the IRC much more often, so that everyone can bug the shit out of me about forcing. I need the motivation.

58
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Daecher (and friends)'s Growth Log
« on: August 30, 2014, 03:32:48 PM »
Much like what was covered in my previous update, I'm finding that staying aware of Luna and Haya is no longer a hassle. Conversing with them when they want to talk is much more common than it used to be, and they seem much happier, now that I'm not unknowingly ignoring them.

The point of this post: Time to go one step forward- visualization.

Luna and Haya have their own forms, and have for quite some time, but visualizing them has never been easy. Now that being aware of my tulpas' presence (mentally and otherwise- I can't think of a good word for "out-of-head") is almost second-nature to me, I want to start improving how I perceive their forms with my mind's eye. Full-on visual imposition can wait, I just want to have more confidence in how I see them than I do now. Eye-bo will become a regular part of my schedule, too, if I can ignore that kaleidoscope effect I get every time I use it. Any ideas?

59
General Discussion / Re: Eye-Bo, the Ocular Fitness Program!
« on: August 23, 2014, 05:07:05 PM »
Somehow I've managed to make my computer stop ignoring Mediafire, and I'm currently downloading the Delta and Gamma files. Once I've used each a few times, I'll make a post regarding my experience of their effects.

During visualization, the alpha frequencies are somewhat distracting. Whether I use them with open or closed eyes, I always see strange, rapid fractal-like patterns in-between flashes, which become more crowded over time in Ascending Alpha. It's easier to lose focus on my body, but it's equally easy to lose focus on visualizing. The theta frequencies produce the same fractal-like patterns in my vision, but they are slower and less detailed.

It's been a while since I've last used Eye-bo (forgive me, Fede-senpai), but I'm going to start using it more frequently.

60
Tulpa Diaries / Re: Daecher (and friends)'s Growth Log
« on: August 22, 2014, 07:39:33 PM »
No, but I've got a few hours to myself tonight (roommates are either at home or out on the town).

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