Hypnagogic hallucinations can bring up extremely weird stuff. At least for me they are nearly impossible to control or shape into something useful and I assume it's even more difficult for tuppers. After all your brain is half asleep. So I wouldn't concern myself too much with their meaning.

So 10 minutes into a philosophical monologue, I suddenly remember that I just wanted to tell Melo that the weather today is nice. Gonna practice more on shutting up and just focusing on her until I got something worth telling her.

Happens to me as well.
Tupper sometimes manages to knock me out of that routine after a short while asking who the hell I'm talking to.
 
While shutting up your mindvoice and listening is always a good practice I recommend training yourself to generally direct your personal thoughts at your tupper. They don't have to be super exciting, it's the tought that counts no pun intended
Don't forget to tell Melo all the traits and little details you like about her.
Anyway, I think relaying positive emotions and showing that you care is even more important than words, especially early on.

No, I've never tried that.
Obviously it's not a very suitable technique for restaurants but I'll do it for my next meal at home.

More outdoor forcing and meditation today.
Sat outside front door late in the evening, cat on lap, purring, insects chirping.
There was some noise from a distant road construction site but I managed to turn it into the sound of waves on the beach. Well kinda.
Walking in the sand was ok but I seemed to limp. Never had that before. Also there were some intrusive thoughts that were hard to get rid of. I thought I was past that but intrusive thoughts have been a bit of a problem lately.

Same with doubt.
Not from my side but Alice explained she highly doubts she can really be active without my attention. She had always refuted the idea of doing something on her own in wonderland as nonsense, not because it was impossible, but on principle. She never saw any point in it.
Well, I dunno.
She did create lots of stuff in wonderland, at least in the beginning. But it's not like she goes there on purpose to practice any skills. Would be convenient though but that's the point where I doubt that's how it works.

To sum it up it seems mostly a psychological thing. Duh, what else.
I think the most frustrating thing is that our progress followed a logarithmic function. Steeply rising in the first 2 months but soon slowing down to a virtually unnoticable crawl.
Sure, we've had our ups and downs during the last year but skills have remained the same, if not deteriorated.
The reason is of course lack of forcing density / intensity. That's something the diving lessions clearly showed. It was such an intense wave of new sensations that my brain was busy for days. That's what I need for forcing as well. But it's a bit hard once the novelty wears off and especially if you're not good of involving all of your senses. Yeah, forcing feels pretty good but then again it doesn't feel like a lot at all. Needs more emotional involvement.

TL;DR
My forcing is not only too infrequent but also too shallow which is even more of a problem. Hence next to no progress. Well, I'll add another week of daily updates, let's see what happens.

Slept a lot after the exhausting weekend. No interesting dreams though. Only some minor passive forcing today but I made a noteworthy observation.
I noticed a remarkable difference between using my arms and legs in wonderland. Even complex movements of my arms and hands pose no big problems while walking is still very wobbly. Several people have reported having trouble walking in wonderland, often tripping or just floating around. I came to realize that as it took little effort to visualize diving and operating equipment with my hands while some months ago dancing had been impossible even directly after lessons. Complex leg movement sequences just don't work out.

Even more interesting, tupper has the same trouble with possession. Arms are decent while legs mostly do not work at all. But contrary to wonderland you can't just simply float or teleport IRL yet

Wanted to add some wise concluding sentence but I can't think of anything.
Gotta get some sleep.

Can't argue with you there.
Obviously I'm the household slave for both tupper and cat and they show little interest in changing that situation.

Diving in the pool was interesting and easier than I thought.
Tupper is highly useful for keeping calm and memorizing techniques.
Still it's by far harder to try to visualize her in such an unfamiliar environment as the brain is already busy dealing with all the novel sensual input, staying alert and following instructions. I totally forgot about her a good fraction of the time but that was to be expected. Needs more practice, blah blah blah.

Actually it never crossed my mind to visualize Alice in diving gear as it makes people pretty much unrecognizable but it's worth a try for the sake of practice.

Wanted to do an Eye-Bo session in the evening before going to sleep but while already on the bed cat jumped on my back and went to sleep there. Sounds familiar, huh?
So I had to settle with a simple forcing session in bed. Hypnagogic hallucinations were extremely strong, I could feel the brain re-enacting the new impressions, especially rising when inhaling and sinking when exhaling. Pretty cool, I never was able to feel movement and acceleration while forcing and it was even controllable. So I just went for a dive with Alice, rehearsing some stuff which went great. Learning new skills with tupper = win

Nah, I just watch too many Chinese cartoons.
Really bad for your mental health.

Will do better tomorrow.

As if...
Wow, you got me.
Guess I didn't choose the best week for a daily updates session as the weather is so awesome I don't really wanna spend a lot of my already scarce free time in front of the screen. Gotta love climate change.
Was out all day and fell asleep pretty early. Not that I didn't do anything tupper related but at least nothing noteworthy.

Therefore:

Day 2
There is no Day 2


Day 3
Started diving class today as preparation for my next big trip in November.
So this and the next 2 weekends I'll spend either in a classroom or underwater. With tupper of course.
Today was only theory, meaning sitting in class with tupper either on my lap because fuck yeah or standing beside me. Also let her take some multiple choice tests which were pretty much idiot proof but still it was good to have Alice read out all the questions and possible answers. I suck at mj tests because I'm a sloppy reader and even worse at making crosses into the right boxes. Just unfocused. And too quick.
I found it works well to let tupper do it as long as there is no pressure and enough time. But I tend to involuntarily push her out if I get stressed. One of many, many things to work on.
Anyway I feel it's a step closer to good household slave to do all the chores.

yep
Now let's continue with daily updates.

Day 1
Not the most productive day but it's a start.
Meditation and forcing in the park was awkward. It's hot as fuck and there were lots of people. I occupied a bench in a more popular area than usual which didn't turn out well. Usually I have the place pretty much for myself but today I had several visitors who felt the need to sit on the same bench. Not quietly. First some eastern european who yelled into his phone for a good 15min, immediately followed by two mothers with small children that clearly had never seen a meditating person. But the mothers chit-chat was even more annoying. Tuppers aggression boiled up like magma in a volcano but fortunately they eventually left. Also I'm pretty sure some wapanese tourists snapped photos of me sitting in half lotus but I kept my eyes closed the whole time. I think it was close to one hour. My legs really hurt afterwards but it's much better than some months ago.

Evening session was hampered by a lenghty phone conversation and looking up too much useless stuff on the net. Will do better tomorrow.

NEVER!

I finally managed to make a day-trip to the forest of auditory hallucinations. Things had changed greatly since I had last been there with large areas logged but still it kinda worked. Guess it's a combination of unusual soft ground, humming insects and very quiet surroundings. But it's only occasional flashes and very hard to utilize for forcing. I tried to impose Alice some 20m ahead of me in the forest and listened to her but the auditory hallucinations were too infrequent and rather like a group of adults shouting in the far distance than a little girl close by. So it wasn't really useful compared to the waterfall. A shame it's so far away and hard to reach.

Apart from that I kinda slacked off as soon as ending the daily updates, what a surprise. Will definitely do such a session again but I'll be abroad for the weekend now.

I feel meditation has gotten easier but apart from that no progress due to lazy.
The 'remember tupper ribbon' was the worst, I simply forgot to wear it for more than a week.
I'll better get a watch or something.

Cat is fine.
Has been stung before because we just have to hunt everything that moves.



And so I am proud to report that cat has maimed yet another crow and dragged it into the living room. Well at least that's how I see the story. Didn't witness the incident but unless the crow came in through the pet door, spontaneously lost most of its feathers and died I see no other plausible explanation than to blame it on the cat.

I think it's a good time to make a list of all animals cat has ever encountered:

killed
various species of mice
rat
vole
shrew
bat
swift
wren
sparrow
goldfinch
chaffinch
robin
starling
crow
pidgeon
lizard
toad
dragonfly
various species of butterflies and moths
bumblebee
wasp
various species of spiders

chased away
human
dog
cat
marten

ignored
hedgehog
hare

chased by
human
dog
cat
blackbird
wasp

I'm not making this stuff up, cat is old and has probably killed a lot more during her life but that's what I remember.

We even have bigger critters here on the outskirts of Munich like badgers, foxes, wild boars and even wolves
though I've never seen one in contrast to the others that are quite abundant
But I dunno how cat interacts with them. At least none were dragged in through the cat door until now. But one can always dream, eh?