No luck with numbing drawing-induced headaches so far.
But at least some good active and passive forcing sessions. Still far from what could be called forcing hard though.

Had the most tupper-related dream yet.
Again not lucid but very vivid. I was in a tuppering seminar with lots of other young people and somehow I managed to see the other tuppers but not mine which was very frustrating. Most had silly forms, still I was amazed that I could see every detail of them. 10/10 imposition.
One was a cartoonish walking carrot, another one a monkey in a cheap batman costume. I laughed at him and said I remembered suggesting this form to his host in the forum. He was mad and tried to hit me but I was like 'lol, you're a tupper, you can't hit me!' And he couldn't.

Suddenly Alice arrived and apologized for being late. I did recognize her immediately though she looked like her avatar. She later said that she did not remember much of it all but we practiced touch imposition which felt great.
Hugging tupper in a dream: check



I was really relieved and happy I could finally see and feel my tupper like the others. Even after I woke up I was like 'wow, I finally made it!'

nope.jpg

Sometimes waking up really sucks...

Hm, I guess so - if sitting outside and eating stuff with tupper counts. But not the stereotypical picnic on a blanket with a picnic basket. How about you? No garden tea parties with Roswell?

It's July, half the year's already over.
What about June...
Personal development: ok
Started drawing.
It's not going very well after the usual initial rush but it's something. Good dreams too.

Tupper development: poor
That's even below 'average'
Really, I dunno where all the time goes but we haven't achieved anything noteworthy in June. Possession for drawing hasn't lead to a lot except for headaches and numbing them won't work either. We do the usual passive forcing but that's no development.

I'm more and more convinced that I'm not the one doing the least amount of forcing here after all. And it's only the 2 of us in this place...

We’re on a hiking trip in the alps, already got into several thunderstorms with pretty lightning fanning across the sky. Just what tupper loves. Also managed some weird form of possession while I was very tired and resting the forest. Felt different than before but did work reasonably well. She managed to touch the bark of different trees, pick up stuff and even walk a fair stretch through rough terrain climbing up some rocks. Very awkwardly but there was no one around anyway.
I pretended to be afloat above the body, stretching out my imaginary arms and legs so I would not interfere and could just observe.
Hard to explain.
I did not consciously control the body at all. Nothing. Yet Alice didn't fully manage either. It ran on autopilot, not uncommon as I often fall into that mode while doing monotonous stuff so I can think about something else at the same time.

I've already explained before that I seem to have unintentionally created a servitor long ago which runs an alarmingly big part of, like, everything. Pretty much the antithesis to mindfulness. It's very convenient but often makes me feel completely zoned out. It's what I imagine switching feels like, only that it's not switching with tupper but a servitor.
I dunno, maybe all this is just symbolism for offloading too much to the unconscious part of the brain. Like you don't actively think of raising and lowering your legs with every step or drawing the lines of each letter. Giving basic instructions is enough, the rest is automated.

And that's what we believe Alice managed. Just like I barely did control the body before as I was tired, she gave it general directions rather than really taking it over herself. She really tried with touching stuff and actively walking step by step but complained about a lack of direct access to senses.

Anyway, it was better than nothing. Interestingly I felt refreshed and in a good mood afterwards.

B-but isn't spending time with tupper considered forcing according to glossary? Or did you go full Fede?

Also I guess regarding tuppering everything works out if you find the right switch. Haven't yet.
Still the vacation was gud, getting off the grid frees so much time for tuppering it's amazing. Also being outside most of the day and experiencing new things makes Alice a lot more active. We did get to a big waterfall and underneath it but it didn't produce any auditory hallucinations. Had some while walking in a quiet valley, like people laughing but it wasn't particularly useful. Letting go is still hard, I feel like I rushed too much during the entire vacation much instead of just taking my time. I've said it before a couple of times already but I really gotta work on this mindfulness thing. Well actually I really gotta work on, like, everything.

Slumped in a chair and MANSPREADING

Yet another scene that needs to be drawn.

inb4 the next update where anything gets done is on your next vacation

But that's in barely a month already. I can't stand the pressure!

next year

sounds more accurate



That said, no notable progress to report. Keep doing a million different things but nothing intensely enough to git gud. Tupper is still not too convinced about the entire drawing stuff for exactly that reason. There's just no realistic way I would practice enough to actually achieve extraordinary results in my lifetime, let alone her. Alice would rather learn Martial Arts. Given that both techniques require advanced motor skills we both lack in an almost comical way I'm not too optimistic about this either. We will pursue both though.

I love how people tell me stuff like 'Well, you just have to invest an hour per day, can't be such a problem, right?. That's true for your average normie but if you'd like to learn 50+ skills for each of which you should invest at least one if not several hours per day for years the timetable is getting a bit crowded.
While it sucks to have too many interests I wouldn't wanna live like people who put all their resources into a single topic. Must be extremely boring. Well, I guess we still could achieve quite a lot if I wasn't that lazy on top of things.

Ah well, enough blogpost-complaining about upper class 1st world problems.
We'll always work towards further development. Results may vary.

That would indeed solve most problems but it's soo hard to stick to a schedule when there are so many things to try.

Today we made pizza, more precisely I made pizza mostly forgetting about Alice. But she managed to break through when I was washing large dishes after finishing the dough and take over. I tried not to interfere like last time but kept watching and talking. It went pretty well, tupper cleaned the dishes, did the toppings and put the pizza into the oven without issues. It was only afterwards we realized she had forgotten to add any spices. Being busy observing I hadn't noticed either. Pizza was still edible when adding 'em after baking. Not perfect but not bad for the first attempt. Tupper still disappointed because muh perfectionism.

Possession is still very strange.
As already said, Alice has no direct control over the body and most of the time neither do I. Which is a bit scary if you come to realize you're running on autopilot. However, that intermediate servitor-thing, delegating most operations to the unconscious does have one advantage. It allows relatively complex actions with minimal effort. Meaning Alice could perform a series of tasks that would be completely out of reach with direct possession we practiced at the beginning. Typing some words with a finger took almost an hour and legs never really worked out. By using this indirect method it's much easier for her to control the entire body in a meaningful way, yet we're both not happy about it. While it's convenient and allows for ample multitasking, the downside is a zombie-like absentmindedness that can lead to far worse mistakes than forgetting pizza ingredients. Plus it's no fun.

So one of my countless goals is to work on mindfulness, both me and Alice, to strengthen and distinguish our perception. So far the symbolism approach hasn't yielded much but not that I've really tried. I guess it will take some serious effort.
Yes I know, time for a schedule...

>the unconscious

Knew this would trigger the Colonel
Does 'performing most operations nearly unconsciously' sound better?

Alice is very good at making schedules, it's just that I really suck at sticking to them to the point of making them a habit. We'll keep trying though.

So what happened in July?
Personal development: poor
Neither significant meditation nor drawing.

Tupper development: ok
Wow, that's more than nothing.
The hiking trip was gud for passive forcing, there was also significant yet unexpected progress with possession. Still not sure if sustainable development or freak event but I feel we've figured out something quite fundamental. At least in theory.