When your entire mindset is "I can't do it", nothing will obviously get done. Until you can change from "I can't do it" or "nothing will work" to "I will try it and give it my best" and "I will force myself to change into something better for the sake of myself if I have to", then you might get somewhere. Negative Nancies just never get anything proper done when they're too busy wallowing in a pool of self pity and uselessness.

At this point, it's not just a tulpa you should be focusing on if you want one. You should focus on bettering your very being, because that's the real issue.

Maybe you want to read through this thread to find the fun parts, if you want to know them. You've listed that shit down here, so why not use it? That's one of the reasons why I suggest people log their progress, so that they can look back.

And I assume your trait thing is for Fede, so I'll let him respond to that as you're waiting for ~~his method~~ and shit here. I'm going to assume that you're already overthinking it and believe that it's harder than it really is, so that you're already putting yourself down and making everything needlessly hard. But what do I know, it's Fede method time.

So if someone knows how to make this something I'd feel better doing over reading, or sleeping, or vidya games, do tell.

Considering how all of those are you enjoying someone else creating things for you (dreaming rarely is conscious unless you're lucid dreaming, after all) without you having to spend any effort, I guess it might be clear what you enjoy doing and that's not actually doing any work for your entertainment. Creating a tupper is going to have to involve you doing something creative yourself though, sorry.

If you are going this heavy personality route except you're having trouble creating them/characters in the first place, some Google searching for character writing tips/character development/whatever could also help you. There can be some really good tips out there, to help writers. Not exactly tupper stuff, but it could help you as it's rather similar.

There's also these 100 questions a fully developed character should easily answer to (if appliable), though a tulpa that is still in the creation phase couldn't really answer to all of them because of lack of experience. And I don't approve of trying to create false backgrounds for tuppers. At least parts 1 to 3 and part 7 are all more or less skippable. There's a few you might be able to answer yourself, but not all. Even the other ones can be a bit tricky, but some of those questions can make you think what kind of a personality someone would have. But this list can be very useful when creating roleplaying characters as they are something that should have a created background and stuff. So hey, taking a look could potentially help you with creating tupper personalities, but it would definitely help you with creating better roleplaying characters.

And seriously, if you start being all "but that's too many questions/too much reading/too haaaaaaard" then come on. Push yourself a little, you'll never develop any skills if you never push yourself out of your comfort zones. You don't have to use it at all, but don't let "too haaaaard" be the reason.

Alright, I've read through this thread a couple times- not to the letter, but roughly- and I'd like to toss my two cents in, if Enny will hear it. I've got a hell of a lot less experience than Sands or Fede, but I might be able to relate to your problems a bit more in that I've only recently overcome them (god forbid I don't acknowledge the effort of these two to help you). All of you, please forgive me if what I say has been said again and again before in the thread already.


While I support the idea that you should "start over" with your tulpa, as previously mentioned, I understand that starting over from scratch would feel like a waste of time and energy (and it does take significant amounts of energy at first). I'll offer an alternate proposal: sit down with your tulpa and have a heart-to-heart. Let them know that you want to set down a foundation for your relationship. Whether you think they can hear you or not, I suggest coming to this meeting of minds with two goals: giving them a sense independence, and not preparing their future for them.

Let me clarify that I mean "not preparing" as not trying to create every single facet of a tulpa from the get-go. When I started out and read up on people starting to create their own tulpa, I saw post after post after post asking "what do I do for this" or "what should they be like in this particular aspect," with little to no progress being made. I found it easier to use somewhat general descriptions for what my tulpa would be like, and let it decide from then on how it would develop. My first narration session was a down-to-earth confession, basically. I told my tulpa why I created it, how I wanted it to affect me, and what I expected from it in the future. Likewise, I told it what I would do for it in return, and what I wanted for its future. Luna was made with the intent of being considerate, compassionate, independent, and understanding- I had no perspective of a name, gender, voice, or anything like that at the time of her creation (or Haya's, for that matter), only the hope that she would grow from a basic set of traits.

I understand that you don't want to just ditch your tulpa's current personality in favor of starting over. Instead, I recommend addressing your tulpa as it is, and talk to her (I'm assuming from here on out Miriam is female) about what it means for you to have a tulpa. Let her know why you made her, what she means to you, etc., until you feel confident that it has at least a basic understanding of how you feel. You should also, at the very least, give her some acknowledgement that you have some respect for her opinion-to-be, and that while neither of you have a solid definition of who she is as a tulpa, that she has some decision in the matter. You're more than welcome to establish a form, voice, and the specifics of her personality from the start- and I don't think she'll fault you for having done so already- but I believe that it's important to set a connection that your tulpa can work from on their own without your focus.

One thing to keep in mind with this mindset of giving your tulpa a little independence early on is that you might have to put more effort into your regular sessions than you would with a "pre-made" tulpa. My solution to narrating was thinking to my tulpa (I didn't feel comfortable talking out loud) about everyday things; my walk to classes each day, enjoying nature, my family and past, my feelings, and my hobbies were great subjects to narrate to her about. The whole time, I had the ideas about vocality and other tulp-ish abilities in my head, but I pushed them away to try and lead into her abilities, rather than make things happen - no offense to Fede and his parroting method, I'm only speaking in terms of what worked for me. I reminded myself whenever I felt depressed or doubtful that my tulpa was made to be understanding, and that it would take matters into its own hands/hooves/etc. when it was ready, outside of my influence. I only had to trust them and support them by being patient.

Speaking of patience, one of the biggest suggestions I can make is that she needs time to grow. The advice I've seen given to you can help, but you should work through each part smoothly and consistently. Start at step one, work through it until you feel mildly proficient, and then move on, making sure to touch up on the basics now and again. I've observed from your feedback from reading and attempting these pieces of advice that patience (or lack thereof) makes a large contribution to your progress. I went through a long period of forcing at random times during the week, for up to two hours at a time, and others do just twenty to thirty minutes at a time, multiple times a day/week. I suggest not measuring your growth by time, but by what you feel you've done. You don't have to be able to "know" what you've done, just know that you've spent a little more time with your tulpa than you did before you started.

A huge milestone for anyone with a tulpa is communication. While I don't know an exact method of transferring a tulpa from silence to vocality, both of mine found a way of making themselves known through "head pressures," making my ears ring whenever I was narrating or in response to it. This is by no means a goal you should set your tulpa to, but I've learned that they can be rather creative (if not spontaneous) in their means of communication. When you narrate to her, just keep in mind that she might be actively listening, not paying attention, or even trying to get your attention without you realizing it. Part of the mentality is not consciously trying to hear or feel your tulpa, just letting it do its own thing. My tulpas went from silence to pressures to vocality in weeks, but your tulpa is not one of my tulpas; yours may already be ready to communicate for herself and she might be waiting patiently for you to allow her to speak without you putting the words in her mouth, or she might just be a little shy and doesn't know how you want her to sound/act. It's pretty hard to tell from this stage, but I find it helpful to keep a level head and remind your tulpa that you want to hear or feel her- whether you actually can or not- in the hope that she will be more confident in her attempts to acknowledge you in a way you can understand. Thinking of it reminds me of the transition between riding a bike with training wheels and without; a median between encouraging her and helping her along is needed to progress.

I'd like to give you advice on tulpa forms and visualization as well, but that's one of my weakest facets of forcing. What I can tell you is that a tulpa's form is just that- its form. I've learned that it can grow and change like your tulpa does, and is as permanent as the two of you decide it should be. Visualization is a difficult task to handle, but my suggestion is researching paracosms, a.k.a Wonderlands. Over time, I've found that having a simple, easy-to-remember place where you can relax and not worry about the outside world makes problems with forcing much easier to go through. While I haven't gotten so far as to actually see any of the Wonderlands I've made, the sense that I'm there is relaxing in and of itself.

If there's anything that I can hope you will take from this wall of text, it's that, while subconscious thinking is at the very heart of tulpas and forcing, conscious thinking has just as much of an effect on your progress. If you truly believe that you don't know that your tulpa is there and/or can even hear you, then chances are that you won't get much farther than you have up until this point. If you're willing to question your first instinct and try to let your just tulpa be while you try to connect with her (even though you can't sense her at all, with or without focus), your brain will likely try to fill in the gaps you aren't able to yourself. It's not a matter of blindly believing, but being willing to accept that there are steps in the process you cannot fully control yet.

I feel, at this point, I've beaten you with my "just slow your roll, let your tupper do tupper things, and let your brain do the rest" just enough to get you thinking, maybe. It's hard to wrap one's mind around "Act without acting, think without thinking," but remember that it will all be worth it in the end. Remind your tulpa of this, and remind yourself. There will come a time where you might not be able to remind yourself, but your tulpa will eventually be able to do it for you, if you let them.


TLDR; "Fuck the two cents part, this is a wall of text." Go back the fuck up and read, I put some effort into this post to try and give you another perspective.

Feel free to tear my shit up or tell me I'm your personal god, whatever works for you.

What a shame.